Ron Weasley and the Curse of the Black Chapter 2, a harry potter fanfic

Chapter 2—Actually not a puppet at all.

DISCLAIMER: HOLY FUCK! I FORGOT! I meant to say on chapter one that I don't own Hairy Potter. I still don't lolololol but I'm working on it lololololololololol

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Ron Weasley crashed onto the hard earth, his wooden puppet limbs cracking unnaturally. Actually they didn't because Ron Weasly isn't a puppet. He is a wizard. That crack of wood was infact his wand cracking and not his limb.

"Fidlesticks! My wand is snapped in 2!." Ron ejaculated. He continued ejaculating, "Now I can not use my wand as a port key to transport me back when I have completed my stay in Rome. Come to think of it how did I even Get here?" Ron jumped up with a start. He looked around desperately and realized that he was at the bottom of a lake.

Ron continued to ejaculate, "Oh my god I am at the bottom of a Roman lake. This is so Crazy. I am truly flabbergasted by this plight that ails me." There was a problem however. Ron's ejaculations were only strangled bubbles because he was at the bottom of a lake and not on dry land. If he was on dry land his words would be words and not bubbles.

Ron decided to avoid death by swimming to the surface where his starving lungs could be replenished by oxygen. He was swimming upwards for a while.

He was still swimming for a while.

He swam for some more a while.

He was still swimming but he really wanted to take a breath.

He was swallowed by a fish.

He was dead.

The end.

But it isn't the end.

He is alive.

The fish was not actually a fish. It was actually the shore.

And so Ron Weasley found himself on dry land surrounded by breathable air.

Ron Weasly ejaculated, "I am so glad to be alive on dry land surrounded by breathable air. This is the best day of my life. The worst day of my life was when The Curse of the Black Forgetting Spell That was Really Really Bad Because It Made Harry Potter Forget Everything That Harry Potter Ever Knew Forever made Harry Potter Forget Everything That Harry Potter Ever Knew Forever. Curse of the Black Forgetting Spell was Really Really Bad Because It Made Harry Potter Forget Everything That Harry Potter Ever Knew Forever; Harry potter forgetting Everything That Harry Potter Ever Knew Forever was a very bad thing. And thusly that was the worst day of his life.

This however was the best day of his like unlike the other day because he was alive. Ron ejaculated. He cleaned it up before ejaculating, "But I guess I was alive every other day of my life so I guess that this day isn't all that better than those days. It might even be considered worse because my life was threatened in the first place. No that's stupid. This is the best day of my life!" Ron stopped ejaculating. But only momentarily.

Ron Weasley decided that he better find out where Harry Potter is right now. It is after all a foreign country. Ron hoped that they accepted his travelers checks here. Of course, that's an idiotic thing to hope. Travelers checks don't exist because this is the past.

Anyway, Ron wandered around in his Sketchers, the S, in Rome to find Harry.

He wandered some more.

Then he saw Harry and Hermonie! He was so mad at Hermonie. He was fuming. I mean, how could she have brutal hardcore sex at all with Harry like that? What the hell man. I'd never do that to you. But he liked Harry so he went to go save them. So he went up to them and he heard the dude who was in front of them with the huuuge sword say, "Is this the real life, is this just fantasy Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality Open your eyes , look up to the skies and see I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy Because I'm easy come, easy go, little high, little low Anyway the wind blows, doesn't really matter to me ...to me

Mama, just killed a man, put a gun against his head Pulled my trigger, now he's dead Mama, life had just begun But now I've gone and thrown it all away Mama oooh... Didn't mean to make you cry If I'm not back again this time tomorrow Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters

Too late, my time has come, sends shivers down my spine Body's aching all the time Goodbye everybody, I've got to go Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth Mama oooh (any way the wind blows) I don't want to die, I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all

I see a little silhouetto of a man Scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the Fandango Thunderbolt and lightning, very very frightening me Galileo (Galileo) Galileo (Galileo) Galileo figaro (Magnifico)
But I'm just a poor boy and nobody loves me He's just a poor boy from a poor family Spare him his life from this monstrosity Easy come easy go, will you let me go Bismillah! No, we will not let you go, let him go Bismillah! We will not let you go, let him go Bismillah! We will not let you go, let me go Will not let you go, let me go Will not let you go let me go No, no, no, no, no, no, no Mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for me

So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye So you think you can love me and leave me to die Oh baby, can't do this to me baby Just gotta get out, just gotta get right out of here

Nothing really matters, anyone can see Nothing really matters, nothing really matters to me Any way the wind blows... " in perfect english, dumbledore knows how.

So Ron decided it was time to save Harry and leave Hermonie in ancient Rome but then something happened to spoil his plans!!!!!!!!!!! He saw Harry and Hermone and some awesome but still confusing purple lightning and convulsing and stuff happen. Then they were gone. So Ron said "WHERE'D THEY GO?"

So he asked the dude with the sword and the dude with the sword said, "Soulja Boy tell 'em!
Hopped up out the bed,
Turn my swag on,
Took a look in the mirror said what's up
Yeah I'm getting money (oh) Yeah I'm getting money (oh)

Turn my swag on,
It's my turn, now turn it up
Yeah, yeah
I put my team on, and my theme song
Now it's time to turn it up
Yeah, yeah

I got a question why they hating on me,
I got a question why they hating on me
I ain't did nothing to 'em, but count this money
And put my team on, now my whole clic stunning
Boy what's up, yeah
Boy what's up, yeah

When I was 9 years old I put it in my head
That I'm gonna die for this gold

(Soulja Boy tell 'em)
Boy what's up, yeah
Hopped up out the bed
Turn my swag on
Took a look in the mirror said what's up
Yeah I'm gettin money (ooh)

Yeah I'm getting money (ooh)

I'm back again,
I know a lot of you all thought I wasn't coming back...
Yeah, yeah
I had to prove them wrong,
Got back in the studio and came up with another hit
Yeah, yeah
I told the world my story, the world where I'm from
Souljaboy X L dot com, boy what's up
Yeah, yeah

Now everytime you see me spit
Every time you hear me rhyme
Everytime you see me in your state or town
Say what's up
Yeah, yeah

Hopped up out the bed
Turn my swag on
Took a look in the mirror said what's up
Yeah I'm gettin money (ooh)

Yeah I'm getting money (ooh)" In perfect English, Dumbledore knows how.

So Ron was all d00d I love souljaboytellem! And the guard guy was like "me too!"

Then Ron said, "Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted-One moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?

Yeah,
His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready
To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgetting
What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud
He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out
He's choking how, everybody's joking now
The clock's run out, time's up over, bloah!
Snap back to reality, Oh there goes gravity
Oh, there goes Rabbit, he choked
He's so mad, but he won't give up that
Easy, no
He won't have it , he knows his whole back's to these ropes
It don't matter, he's dope
He knows that, but he's broke
He's so stagnant that he knows
When he goes back to his mobile home, that's when it's
Back to the lab again yo
This whole rhapsody
He better go capture this moment and hope it don't pass him

(You better lose yourself in the music, the moment you own it, you better never let it go go You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo)

(You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo)

This soul's escaping, through this hole that it's gaping
This world is mine for the taking
Make me king, as we move toward a, new world order
A normal life is boring, but superstardom's close to post mortem
It only grows harder, homey grows hotter
He blows us all over these hoes is all on him
Coast to coast shows, he's know as the globetrotter
Lonely roads, God only knows
He's grown farther from home, he's no father
He goes home and barely knows his own daughter
But hold your nose cause here goes the cold water
His hoes don't want him no mo, he's cold product
They moved on to the next schmoe who flows
He nose dove and sold nada
So the soap opera is told and unfolds
I suppose it's old partner', but the beat goes on
Da da dum da dum da da

(You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo)
(You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo)

No more games, I'ma change what you call rage
Tear this motherfucking roof off like two dogs caged
I was playing in the beginning, the mood all changed
I been chewed up and spit out and booed off stage
But I kept rhyming and stepwritin the next cypher
Best believe somebody's paying the pied piper
All the pain inside amplified by the
Fact that I can't get by with my nine to
Five and I can't provide the right type of life for my family
Cause man, these goddam food stamps don't buy diapers
And it's no movie, there's no Mekhi Phifer, this is my life
And these times are so hard and it's getting even harder
Trying to feed and water my seed, plus
Teeter totter caught up between being a father and a prima donna
Baby mama drama's screaming on and
Too much for me to wanna
Stay in one spot, another day of monotony
Has gotten me to the point, I'm like a snail
I've got to formulate a plot or end up in jail or shot
Success is my only motherfucking option, failure's not
Mom, I love you, but this trailer's got to go
I cannot grow old in Salem's lot
So here I go is my shot.
Feet fail me not cause maybe the only opportunity that I got

You can do anything you set your mind to, man" In perfect Italian, dumblore knows how.

So the guard was all "Emminem sucks he sucks." Then he said "This was never the way I planned, not my intention
I got so brave, drink in hand, lost my discretion
It's not what I'm used to, just wanna try you on
I'm curious for you caught my attention

I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chapstick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it

It felt so wrong, it felt so right
Don't mean I'm in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it
I liked it

No, I don't even know your name, it doesn't matter
You're my experimental game, just human nature
It's not what good girls do, not how they should behave
My head gets so confused, hard to obey

I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chapstick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it

It felt so wrong, it felt so right
Don't mean I'm in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it
I liked it

Us girls we are so magical
Soft skin, red lips, so kissable
Hard to resist, so touchable
Too good to deny it
It ain't no big deal, it's innocent

I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chapstick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it

It felt so wrong, it felt so right
Don't mean I'm in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it
I liked it" In perfect English, Dumbledore knows how.

So Ron quipped back "Kitty Purry? More like Shitty Poo-ey!" Then he said, "Look at this photograph
Everytime I do it makes me laugh
How did our eyes get so red
And what the hell is on Joey's head

And this is where I grew up
I think the present owner fixed it up
I never knew we'd ever went without
The second floor is hard for sneaking out

And this is where I went to school
Most of the time had better things to do
Criminal record says I broke in twice
I must have done it half a dozen times

I wonder if it's too late
Should i go back and try to graduate
Life's better now than it was back then
If I was them I wouldn't let me in

Oh, oh, oh
Oh, god, I

Every memory of looking out the back door
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.
Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.

Remember the old arcade
Blew every dollar that we ever made
The cops hated us hangin' out
They say somebody went and burned it down

We used to listen to the radio
And sing along with every song we know
We said someday we'd find out how it feels
To sing to more than just the steering wheel

Kim's the first girl I kissed
I was so nervous that I nearly missed
She's had a couple of kids since then
I haven't seen her since god knows when

Oh, oh, oh
Oh, god, I

I miss that town
I miss the faces
You can't erase
You can't replace it
I miss it now
I can't believe it
So hard to stay
Too hard to leave it

If I could I relive those days
I know the one thing that would never change

Look at this photograph
Everytime I do it makes me laugh
Everytime I do it makes me..." in perfect Italian, Dumbledore knows how

Then the guard was all UGH NICKLEBACK GAYYYYY!" and so he told Ron that Harry and Hemoney went to midevil Japan or wherever chapter 3 took place, I can't quite tell.

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