Here we go with the second chapter! This may update erratically, but I'll get it done. Don't worry. XD

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek!

"All right," said Kirk, crossing his arms. He took an authoritative step forward. "You've all seen the damage." He swept his arm out to indicate the crime scene behind him. "One of you did this… And none of you are leaving this hotel until I find out who!"

"Oh for cryin' out loud."

It wasn't exactly the terrified cry Kirk was hoping for.

"Jim, I've got work to do. Real work. Up on the starship you're supposed to be captain of." Bones shook his head. "I don't have time to play games." He headed for the door.

"Spock!"

Spock closed the door to the room before Bones could reach it, calmly surveying the rest of the suspects for their reactions. They ranged from amusement to exasperation. He didn't see anxiety, or fear. Interesting.

"Now then. As I was saying. If anyone leaves this hotel, I'll have them arrested." He paused. "I can do that, you know. I'm a captain."

"Quite right," put in Spock. He adjusted his skirt so it fell flatter against his legs. And then he wondered when he could take it off.

"Okay, then. We'll be here," said Uhura, trying to hide her laughter behind an upraised hand. "Do you want me to fix, um, Ms. Lalala before I go?"

"This is a crime scene! Only Spock and I will be allowed in, Lieutenant." Kirk's tone immediately turned to suspicious. "Or was there something you left behind? Like a murder weapon?"

Uhura frowned. "No. Well, fine. You can fix her yourself." She joined Bones by the door, muttering something about boys.

"Spock and I shall commence the investigation. You just sit pretty until we get some answers." Kirk motioned for Spock to open the door, which he did, and they both watched the suspects file out. "Right then. What does this look like to you?" Kirk crossed the room to look pityingly down at Ms. Lalala's decapitated body.

"Judging from her position relative to the chair, I believe she was knocked backward with some force. There is no wound, so I believe that the weapon was a blunt object, perhaps even someone's foot. The force would have to be great enough to cause…" Spock paused. "Are you listening?"

"Of course, my dear," said Kirk, adjusting his deerstalker cap. "Please continue."

"Where did you get that?" Spock raised an eyebrow as Kirk also drew a bubble-pipe from his pocket.

"Not important."

"…The force would have to be great enough to cause decapitation when her body hit the ground."

"Yes, I see," murmured Kirk, puffing at his pipe. "We need to look for clues, now. You start over there."

"Very well." Spock walked to the far wall and began to examine the room's décor. It was unremarkable, just a queen-sized bed, a desk, and a chair by the floor lamp. Spock started at the bed, examining every inch of the slightly-mussed covers, the rumpled pillows, and the unremarkable space beneath. So far, it didn't look promising on the clue front.

"I think a man must have slept here recently," declared Kirk, sagely. Spock looked at him.

"No doubt. This is the doctor's room." He shook his head slightly. "Until this morning, the doctor was sleeping here. May I remove my skirt, now?"

"I don't see how stripping will help us solve the case, Spock." Kirk pulled back his hat so he could scratch his head in ponderment. Then he seemed to have an epiphany! "Spock, do you think Bones did it? He was awfully quick to leave, wasn't he?"

"I believe the doctor had an earnest desire to complete his medical records," replied Spock. At Kirk's disheartened expression, he sighed imperceptibly. "But he is our prime suspect."

"Right. Does that mean that Mrs. Bones was an accomplice?" cried Kirk, glaring down at the doll where she sat at the tea table.

"I do not believe so."

"How are you so sure?" asked Kirk, eyeing Spock. He blew a bubble from his pipe.

"She lacks the ability to move on her own."

"…Oh yeah."

"Let us question the doctor and find out what he knows." The two headed toward the hotel coffee lounge, trailed by a growing mass of bubbles.

Next time: the interrogation of Bones! Reviews are love. ;)