Author's Note: I am still visiting with my friend and will be here for the remainder of the week. However my friend's mother has been kind enough to lend me her computer so I'm able to write in my free time while my friend is resting. So for the duration of my stay up here my updates will be sporadic but I will be writing and I will post whenever I have a finished chapter. Enjoy.

"Where is he?"

Sora looked up as the door burst open, slamming into the wall with a deafening smash as Cid stormed into the room, his eyes ablaze with fury.

Cid spied Roxas, semi-conscious on the bed besides Sora, Yuffie, and Rinoa, he stormed towards them purposefully; Sora stood to try and block his path but Cid merely shoved him out of the way without so much as breaking his stride.

He lifted Roxas up, shaking him violently. "Why didn't you save her? You're a damned bearer and you couldn't protect my little girl, why!"

Roxas' eyes stared unseeingly upwards. "I'm sorry." He murmured to no one in particular."

Sora grabbed onto Cid's arm and received a backhand to his face, which sent him sprawling, blood spattering the floor as he fell.

"Leave him alone." He managed, as Rinoa helped him to his feet again.

"Shut up kid, this isn't any of your business."

Sora grabbed Cid again, "leave him alone, please!" He shouted once more, desperate.

He clenched his eyes shut as Cid raised his hand again; when the blow didn't come he opened them cautiously. Laguna was holding Cid's raised arm and looking daggers at the older man.

"That's enough Cid."

"Like hell it is! This little worthless brat let my daughter di—"

Laguna slammed Cid into the wall, Roxas fell like a sack of bricks, Rinoa caught him, and helped Sora get him back into the bed as Laguna pinned Cid.

"That is enough Cid, do you hear me?"

"Screw you Laguna, my daughter is dead because of him!"

Laguna grabbed Cid's chin and twisted it, forcing him to stare at Roxas lying semi-conscious on the sheets.

"That boy is killing himself because he failed, and I am not going to let you finish the job. Would Rikku want you hurting anyone because of her, would she Cid?"

Cid shook uncontrollably, and for a moment Sora thought he'd try attacking Laguna, but then he broke down, sobbing and gripping Laguna's shoulders as he shook, Laguna released him as he cried, holding him gently.

"My little girl, my daughter…oh god my Rikku she's gone. She's dead, how do I explain that? What am I going to tell her mother Laguna? How can I face her?"

His voice was desperate as he sobbed all this, clinging to Laguna as if he were a drowning man.

Sora leaned over, whispering to Yuffie. "Isn't Rikku's mother dead?"

Yuffie nodded nervously, her eyes not leaving her father or Cid for an instant, she was trembling; then Julia entered the room and took Cid from Laguna, shooting her husband a disapproving glare, Laguna's expression remained unchanged.

"Come with me Cid, let's go to the kitchen alright? We'll get you something to drink."

She guided Cid, still crying, from the room Laguna sighed and ran a hand through his hair and biting his lip as he thought; a silence settled over the room, and no one spoke in the heavy atmosphere.

Finally Yuffie broke the quiet. "Jeez Dad, you're scary."

Laguna snorted. "Go to bed Yufe."

"Bu—"

"Now."

She nodded, giving Sora a quick hug before hurrying from the room, Laguna turned to Rinoa.

"Is he alright?"

She nodded. "It's mostly exhaustion, his wounds were pretty minor…there have been worse at the clinic."

Laguna nodded slowly. "Stay with him, Sora," Sora came to attention at the command in his voice he wasn't even in the military and yet Laguna made him jump. "Once your brothers get back, take Roxas to Merlin's, stay there for now. It's probably the one place in the city they can't get to right now and I don't want a repeat of tonight."

Sora nodded, Laguna left sighing to himself. Rinoa placed a damp cloth on Roxas' forehead.

"He'll be okay, but I don't know if he'll be able to live with himself after this."

Sora said nothing, taking Roxas' hand and holding it tightly. "Come on Roxas, you can get through this."

There were tears in Roxas' vacant eyes as he murmured. "I'm sorry Rikku, I'm so sorry."

"No no no boy, use your head use your head! How do you ever expect to get anything done if you can't master the basics?" Archimedes screeched as yet another of Roxas' spells vanished into nothingness.

"Leave him alone Archie he's doing his best."

The owl puffed up indignantly at Sora's excuse, in Merlin's absence he'd taken over their magic lessons.

"Pin feathers! There is no reason he can't be just as good as you, if he'd stop feeling sorry for himself then—"

"Gravity." Sora intoned.

Archimedes fell to the ground with an agonized screech, flattening against the floorboards.

Roxas sighed and turned towards the door. "I'll be in my room."

Archimedes picked himself up and clicked his beak though he didn't say anything more as he flew up into the rafters.

Sora sat next to Red as the chocobo ate, rubbing the top of the bird's head affectionately.

"I don't know what to do Red, he just won't let himself forget it. I've tried everything I can think of, I'm so lost."

Red lifted his massive head out of the trough, nuzzling Sora with his bloodstained beak, Sora smiled, hugging him closely.

"Thanks Red, we'll think of something."

There was a low moan out over the dark waters of the lake that surrounded Merlin's home.

Sora sighed, standing up and dusting himself off. "Someone's hungry."

He retrieved a large bucket of the same mix Red was eating, the chocobo eyed the bucket curiously as if wondering if he was going to be given more food; but Sora moved past him towards the water. Kneeling down he took a handful of the meaty food and splashed it into the water. There was a low rumble, then a wake began coming towards the shore it soon turned into a wave and then a massive reptile burst from the water and sloshed up onto the shore.

Sora jumped back, covered in water, smiling at the animal. "Thanks Nex, I needed that."

The pliodon shook her head, Merlin insisted it was a her and Sora didn't know how to tell the difference, from side to side; clapping her tooth lined jaws together hungrily. Sora had seen a pliodon once when he was little and living in the Destiny Isles grabbing a lungful of air before it had rolled over and dove. He'd never expected to see one this close; especially not one he could hand feed. Leon and Cloud had been less than pleased when Merlin had introduced Sora to the twenty foot aquatic reptile, the wizard had insisted there was no real danger as she was quite friendly and wasn't even that big by pliodon standards. The ocean going giants could grow to be in excess of sixty feet and weigh over forty tons.

The introduction had come after Leon had told Merlin about a sickle moon shark that Sora had found in the shallows when he was nine. The shark had been injured and Sora had slowly gained its trust and nursed it back to health. He'd been heartbroken when the shark had simply vanished one day. Of course the entire population of the islands had been terrified when the same shark was seen swimming close to shore. No one was allowed out into the deeper water and proposals were sent to the city council to remove, even kill the shark. Sora had of course by this time heard about the shark and gone swimming with it. Leon had never forgotten the sight of a four foot nine boy swimming with an eight-foot shark that was known to be dangerous to humans. Sora had instantly become a celebrity at school surpassing even Riku's fame for daring for a while. Of course the shark had eventually left for good and Sora had spent long vigils waiting to see if it would ever comeback. Kairi had kept him company on most of these watches.

Needless to say that upon hearing the story Merlin had proposed that Sora be introduced to his sort-of-pet pliodon that lived in the lake. Of course that was all Sora had need to hear and now he fed Nex whenever he fed Red.

Sora reached forwards and stroked the foremost pair of nostrils, patting Nex gently. "Open up now."

The pliodon's mouth opened wide and Sora dumped the contents of the bucket onto her tongue. Nex gurgled hungrily as she swallowed the meal, eying Sora with her two yellow eyes the size of baseballs curiously before using her fore-flippers to push herself backwards into the murky water once more.

"Sora!"

Sora turned to see Leon and Cloud cross the self-forming bridge; Leon was scowling, looking out as the pliodon sank back beneath the water.

"I am going to kill Merlin."

Sora smiled. "She's sweet."

"Sora, you thought a shark was cute." Leon said reproachfully, hugging Sora tightly as Cloud ruffled his hair.

Sora's smile grew, "it was! Besides it was hurt, I couldn't just leave it to die."

Before the pair could continue, Cloud interceded. "Where's Roxas?"

Sora's face fell. "He's up in his room and won't talk to anyone."

Cloud nodded and walked towards the house, Sora tried to follow but Leon held onto him. "Leave them alone for a little bit, they need to talk."

"I want to help too."

Leon nodded. "We all do, but I think we should let them have sometime alone for a now."

Sora looked after Cloud as he opened the door and vanished inside the rickety tower, he hoped Cloud could help, but somehow he wasn't sure of that.

Roxas lay in bed staring up at the ceiling, in his mind's eye he relived the night one week ago; recalling Rikku's laughter, the taste of her lips, how she'd felt against him, her scream, and holding her as she died. It kept flooding back and he couldn't seem to do anything about it, the horror kept repeating like a broken record.

There was a knock on the door. "Leave me alone Sora." Roxas called, rolling over and facing the wall.

The door opened and he turned his head, Cloud stood in the doorway. "Go away."

Cloud didn't say anything, sitting next to him on the bed. "You can't keep this up."

"It's my fault."

Cloud placed a hand hesitantly on Roxas' shoulder. "Only if you keep blaming yourself. There was nothing you could have done."

"You don't know, you've never failed anyone."

"Yes, I have." Cloud said quietly.

Roxas frowned, rolling over to look at Cloud; the sudden change in his brother's voice bothered him.

"It was a training exercise, we got dumped out in the desert and were told to make our way back to our base camp. It was supposed to be easy, just a simple survival course."

"What happened?"

"We had three people per team, and we didn't know where the other teams were. The first night, we were attacked by Heartless, no one expected it; Tifa and I survived, but our training mate, Lauren died. She was too badly injured for our first aid kits to be of any use, and neither of us knew any advanced healing magic. She died before morning while I sat there helplessly and watched her go."

"I'm sorry." Roxas muttered, suddenly feeling very nervous.

Cloud shrugged. "There are something's you never get the chance to change, and you'll feel terrible for the rest of your life. But you have to live with it Roxas, you have to move on."

"I can't do this Cloud, I'm not a hero, I can't be a bearer."

Cloud put an arm around him, obviously uncomfortable with the gesture. "Then there will be more Lauren's and more Rikku's. We need all five bearers, and that means we need you Roxas, if a goof like Sora can pull this off, then there is no reason you can't as well."

"I'm scared."

Cloud nodded, enveloping his little brother in a hug. "I know, we all are. Even people like Laguna and Sephiroth are nervous with the Heartless striking so close."

Roxas closed his eyes and leaned against Cloud, just listening to his breathing. He didn't say anything, holding Cloud tightly.

"You can do this Roxas, I believe in you, so do Leon and Sora. We're family like you and Sora are always saying." This last bit was said with a bit of annoyance, as if the fact that they repeated it so often bothered him. "We'll get you through this, but you've got to help us out too."

Roxas barely heard him, though the words were clear in his mind, he was asleep. Cloud snorted, sitting there unmoving as Roxas drifted off. When he was sure that he wasn't going to wake, Cloud leaned down and kissed his forehead. "Love you kid, you can do this, trust me."