DISCLAIMER: Ed Elric, Hawkeye, Bradley, Envy, Hughes, Mustang © Hiromu Arakawa / Marina © author / Shukaku © Masashi Kishimoto.

Key:

Normal text - speaking/narration

Italics - thoughts

Ch 4: Cast Your Fate to the Wind

The Mark of the Ourobouros? No, I'm 110 percent sure that's what it was. But what's a homunculus doing as a waiter he––

"Marina-chan? Earth to Marina-chan?" Ed suddenly jolted me out of my musings.

"Hmmmm? Oh, sorry Ed." I shook my head to get rid of my thoughts and followed the blond into the booth.

We sat down and Ed was almost swallowed up by the couch-like chair. After a few seconds of futile struggling, a roar of "DAMN YOU CHAIR!!!!!" could be heard throughout Les Belles Heures, and a flash of blue and white light filled the room. Where there was once a red velvety couch there was now………….a big plush strawberry. In the main restaurant, Hawkeye and Mustang looked at each other with alarm and sweat-dropped. Back in the booth, I merely raised an eyebrow, and conversation continued, sort of.

"So………….." There was a semi-awkward pause.

"I have something to do. I'll be right back." I exited the room in an attempt to find Hawkeye and her superior officer. When I did find them, they were immersed in a deep, profound conversation, much to my surprise. To get their attention, I poked Roy once; nothing. I poked him twice; still nothing. I continued to poke the colonel until he turned around. "Cut it out would you?! What do you want?" the flame alchemist irritably demanded.

I smiled sweetly. "If it's not too much to ask, could you please leave the restaurant?"

Mustang was about to refuse the idea, but Hawkeye quickly intervened. "Let's go Sir."

With that, they got up and left––Hawkeye throwing a subtle nod my way––, and I meandered back to the room.

I sighed and gently closed the door. "I'm back! Sorry I left without telling yo––" Without warning, I found myself pinned between the door and Ed's body. His right hand was entwined with my left, the back of my hand against the door next my head. My heart was hammering in my chest, and I briefly wondered if Ed could hear it too. "E-edwa––" Gold eyes made contact with hazel for a split second, then he leaned forward and his lips met mine. My eyes widened from the initial shock, then closed slowly as I felt a rush of those wonderful endorphins.

After a moment of being on cloud 13--4 times better than cloud 9--, he pulled back, gave me some space, looked down, and blushed. "MarinaIloveyou!"

"Wha––?" I blinked slowly as my brain threatened to go on strike, again.

Ed took a deep breath and started over with more conviction in his voice. "Marina, I love you. Will you be my girlfriend?"

I blushed a shade of red rivaling that of the aforementioned transmuted strawberry, tentatively walked up to him, and returned the kiss in full, plus a bit of interest. "Yes."

Score one for Marina-sama! The tanuki demon let loose a cheer and stuck an enormous paw outside of his cage for a high-five.

Inner me raised an eyebrow in disbelief. Shukaku, what are you doing?!

What? If you're not gonna celebrate this, then I'm more than happy to celebrate it for you.

Inner me just rolled her eyes. We'll talk about this later.

Ed and I spent the next three hours snuggling on the couch––Ed transmuted the strawberry back––and enjoying each other's company. By chance, I happened to catch a glimpse of my watch. "Holy Jashin, it's 10 o'clock! We should probably go."

"Wait, really?" I showed him the face of my watch. "Uh, yeah, we probably should." Hand in hand, we walked out of Les Belles Heures. I stopped as I realized that I forgot my coat, and I dashed back inside to track down my wayward jacket.

I slowed down as I reached the booth that we were previously in. A flash of light attracted my eye, and being the curious person that I was, I went to go check it out. I flattened myself against the wall as Hawkeye exited the booth, praying that she didn't see me. I thought Hawkeye and Mustang lef––no, I KNOW Hawkeye and Mustang left. She walks kind of like our waiter did. What the hell is going on?!?! Retrieving my unruly coat, I rushed to get back to Ed. 'Hawkeye' joined us a minute later. I knew that something wasn't right about my guardian, but I kept this nugget of suspicion to myself. Ed flagged down a taxi that Mustang wasn't driving––Ed triple checked––and we, along with the lieutenant, arrived at Hawkeye's house in no time.

We got out of the taxi, and Black Hayate came out to greet us. He wagged his tail playfully when he saw me and Ed, but when he saw Hawkeye, he started to growl. "What's up with Black Hayate?" Ed mused. Black Hayate's behavior towards the fake lieutenant made all the pieces fall into place. I pointed to the imitation Hawkeye and proclaimed, "HOMUNCULUS!"

"……Marina, what are you talking about? That is clearly Lieutenant Hawkeye, and Lieutenant Hawkeye is clearly not a homunculus."

"You remember the waiter at Les Belles Heures? I saw the Mark of the Ourobouros on his left forearm. He somehow morphed into Hawkeye. I'm sure this illusion has the Ourobouros on her left forearm too. Oh, and when I left the booth, I had Mustang and Hawkeye leave. I saw them leave with my own eyes."

"My, what great perception your girlfriend has!" Hawkeye chuckled and changed into a teen with long, green hair. He wore an outfit that showed quite a bit of midriff; a halter-top, and what looked like a skirt (I wasn't really sure). Oh my god, he looks like a palm tree! Inner me started to snicker. "Oh, by the way, I'm Envy." The Hawkeye impostor strode up to me, lifted my chin with his thumb, and started to make out with me. Ed exploded. "GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS––and mouth––OFF MY GIRLFRIEND!!!!"

Taking advantage of the distraction, I pushed the homunculus away from me as Ed transmuted his right arm into a blade and lunged at Envy. He easily dodged, and Ed tried again. The alchemist kept trying to hit the homunculus, and the homunculus kept avoiding the alchemist's blade. This went on for quite a while, destroying much of Hawkeye's porch and front lawn. I heard the high-pitched squeal of car tires. "Ed! Marina! What's going on?" The real first lieutenant arrived on the scene, guns ablaze. "Ed, stop moving around! I want to shoot him, not you!"

"That's my cue to leave. Catch you all later!" Envy gave us a two-fingered salute, and disappeared over a wall.