DISCLAIMER: Ed Elric, 48 (helmet and body), Lust etc. © Hiromu Arakawa / Marina, Araphon © author.

Key:

Normal text - speaking/narration

Italics - thoughts

Ch 22: Can't Judge Nobody

"All right, I'll tell you guys everything as a parting gift. The one who created the philosopher's stone and told us to guard this place is––"

"Marina, watch your 10 o' clock!" Araphon tipped me off, interrupting the former death row inmate. True to my summons' word, two elongating nails shot towards the helmet from that area of my vision. I let go of Ed, transmuting and launching two shuriken at the nails, which retreated immediately.

A woman separated herself from the shadows, scowling. She wore a dark green dress, and an Ouroborous tattoo was in the middle of her chest. "Hey now, that wasn't nice." Apparently, the long nails belonged to her.

"Lust-san!" Ed exclaimed.

Lust-san?! I eyed the homunculus warily while taking a moment to catch my breath. Ah crap, I'm running out of chakra; that last transmutation used up most of what I had left after the Rasenshuriken.............which, admittedly, wasn't much to begin with. I don't even have enough to heal my hand. No wonder Hokage-sama declared it a kinjutsu!

"All right, let's get out of here before the building collapses." Lust's voice cut through my musings like a hot knife through butter.

"Hold up. Give me one good reason why I should trust you after you kidnapped me earlier."

"Oh, I won't give you one, but Fullmetal Boy here will."

"Hey, my name is Ed, not 'Fullmetal Boy'!"

Lust rolled her eyes. "Whatever, shrimp."

"DON'T CALL ME A SHRIMP!!!" Ed lunged at the homunculus, enraged.

"You dare assault your ally?" Lust queried, quickly stepping to the side in order to avoid the alchemist's attack.

"Ally? What the hell happened when I was with Envy?!" I looked from Ed to Lust, and back again, demanding a well-deserved explanation.

Ed stopped to answer me. "Well, she kinda defected to our side. It's a long story......." He trailed off, trying to find better wording. All of a sudden, there was a loud 'clang', signifying the sudden breakdown of Ed's auto-mail arm.

"Looks like it's broken," Lust stated calmly.

The short alchemist had a small melt down. "WHAT?!?!?!"

The fact that the homunculus could switch sides so easily didn't sit well with me. "Hey Lust, you're going to be joining our group, right? And you're not going to be handing us over to the homunculi any time soon?"

"Yes. That is correct on both accounts." Lust looked me straight in the eye to prove she wasn't lying.

".........All right then." I was still a bit skeptical, but my suspicions were put to rest for the time being.

Bits and pieces of the ceiling began to rain down on us as the lab started shaking once more. A particularly large chunk decided that it wanted to fall on me but was thwarted at the last second due to five extremely sharp nails. "Thank you."

"Again I suggest; let's get out of here."

Ed glanced at 48's helmet. "What are we going to do about him?"

"I dunno. He could come with us, I guess.........."

Lust crossed her arms and arched a finely drawn eyebrow. "............Why do you want to save a talking helmet?"

The alchemist picked up the helmet in question. "I don't want to murder anyone, and I'm sure we'll find something for him to do."

"M'kay then."

"Do I even get a say in this?!" 48 wanted to know.

"Nope. None whatsoever." Ed grinned evilly.

"Well, at least give me a body or something. What's the point of me being in the outside world if I can't move around on my own?"

"We have about a minute before this lab collapses, and I don't think Fullmetal Boy can transmute anything with his dysfunctional arm. Let's go." Lust exited the research center, snagging the helmet from Ed in the process.

"Hey!" Ed exclaimed indignantly, running after the homunculus. "Give that back!"

I sighed in exasperation. "Shall we go, Araphon?" My summon transformed into an anaconda and slithered up my right leg, draping himself across my shoulders..............and then some. "Gee, can you get any heavier?! I think you've put on some weight!" I said, pulling his non-existent leg.

In response, Araphon stuck out his tongue and morphed into a Barbados threadsnake. "There, better?" He sounded petulant.

"I can't see you! Where'd you go?"

"Hold out your hand, palm up."

I did what he asked, and a tiny snake about the size of a quarter wriggled onto my palm. "Oh, there you are! Awwww, you're so cute!"

My summon scowled.........if you can imagine a snake scowling. "We should really get going," he suggested as the lab continued to fall apart, dust clouding our view. I gave a non-committal grunt and Araphon dropped to the floor, landing on two scaly feet. He glanced back at me, stretching his elongated neck. "Get on."

"Well, this should be fun," I remarked; my summon had decided to transform himself into an ostrich. Araphon knelt down so that I could climb onto his back. Once on, I tried to situate myself comfortably, but Araphon shot out of the room like a feathery rocket before I was able to find a good position.

"Don't fall!" he squawked.

I desperately clung to the ostrich's wing feathers with my uninjured hand, holding on for dear life. "Yeah, easier said than done, Araphon!"

We exited the research center a millisecond before it collapsed completely, joining up with Lust, Ed, and 48's helmet––who were all waiting outside the front of Lab 5's remains. "What the hell?!" Ed's jaw dropped yet again, due to the sight of me riding an ostrich.

"Um...........it's a long story?"

"Oh snap," Araphon commented out of the blue, saving me from having to explain my situation. We turned around to discover a line of soldiers pointing guns at us––or more specifically, Lust.