Kay, so as I was informed by a very worried Thiefy and Lighty (Lighty you all wouldn't know, but…) someone snuck onto my account and posted something about me having a broken leg. If you'll go back and look at the modified version, you will see that isn't the case. I'm fine, and I'm super sorry about what happened. Anyways, this chapter might be a little boring for some of you, but it's very important. If you haven't assumed what this chapter's about, I think you're insane. Well, it depends on who thinks that. It's all about Bella's story, obviously. Don't worry, the part after this is awesome. At least, I think so.

Also, someone who reviewed brought a mistake of mine to attention. I accidentally said that they were on Lake Erie, when in fact Chicago is on Lake Michigan. I apologize for that, and hopefully you all don't hate me. Enough of my talking. I need to learn to control that. Here's Chapter 9.

Chapter Song: Who's Crying Now, By: Journey

X-x-X

Chapter 9: A Truth Revealed

Bella

As I sat back down at our table, earning a wink and a grin from Alice, Edward looked at me with pained green eyes.

"I'm sorry for asking that, Bella, I truly am. Could you forgive me?" he asked worriedly before I could open my mouth. I now understood why Alice had been so enthusiastic about me telling him. Edward was a kind, sincere man that would listen and not judge. It made me feel slightly better.

"Edward, I'm not angry," I answered quietly. "I understand your curiosity, which is why I'm going to tell you."

"Bella, you don't have to do that…"

"Edward, I want to," I protested, trying to hide the half-lie behind that statement. Half of me was still holding onto the secret, begging not to be let out for this man to see. Part of it was because I was scared he would hate me. The other part was because I didn't want him mixed up in the messed up circle of my life. I didn't want someone else feeling sorry for me, when it was my fault in the first place that this had all happened.

He eyed me as if he didn't believe that. "Bella, are you sure? If my sister is forcing you into this, I don't want to seem like an impertinent…"

I shook my head and gave him a faint smile. Though I knew he only meant well, he had no idea how strange it was to be telling him this. Not to mention the pain of revisiting memories that I'd rather forget would probably amount to something that I didn't want.

"Edward, it's alright. Just give me a moment to collect myself and I'll tell you. All I ask is that you won't judge Riley or me for what happened. I realize that I've made mistakes, and that my daughter has paid the price. I know that, and I admit my mistakes," I told him quietly.

Edward opened his mouth – probably to reassure me, but I held up a hand to quiet him before he could begin speaking.

I took a deep breath, reluctantly bringing back all the memories that I hated to have in my mind. I put them in order, and I had no idea how long that took. All I knew was that I could tell that Edward was watching me worriedly and intently, and that dinner was long forgotten. It would probably get cold before I even considered eating it again. Right now, my mind was focused on telling Edward the truth, because he deserved to know. Especially if he was considering having a relationship with me (which he probably wasn't, but a strange hopeful part in me was hoping that).

So I took another deep breath, steadied my thoughts, and began my story.

"It all started in high school, really. I was sixteen, and one of the cute football players asked me to a celebration party that his friend was having. His name was James Wilson, and of course I agreed to go. Why wouldn't a girl refuse a football player's invitation to some sort of hot party? Well, I tried faking sickness but my brother Jasper made me go because he wanted support with his girlfriend, Maria. I didn't like her much, but I didn't want Jasper going alone with her since he didn't want to, so I went. That's how it all kicked off, anyway.

"James and I got serious about each other, declaring that we'd get married someday and that we'd go to the same college and get the same jobs so we could stay together forever. It was the typical, passionate high school love, you know? I mean, but that sort of changed when I got pregnant.

"It had been my seventeenth birthday, and James had said that he wanted to give me something special. His parents were out of town and his older sister was out at college. So of course I had agreed. You can imagine what we did, and even though we thought we had protection, Riley was the result of that night. Jasper wanted to kill him, but of course I told him not to. Charlie, our father, was really nice about it and paid all of my hospital bills.

"You have to understand that I loved Riley right from the start. Even before she was born, I loved her. I had never really thought that I was the motherly type, but I guess it sort of came naturally when I found out that I was pregnant. James wasn't pleased, and constantly made it all sound like some kind of lame joke. I snapped at him a lot for that, and sometimes my hormones would get out of hand.

"James helped me get through my senior year, since I couldn't go to school with Riley, and my brother and father were always gone. I thought I was so lucky to have him, and I graduated thinking that I had the best boyfriend in the world.

"James rented us an apartment closer to his college, and that was out in Springfield, Illinois. We were alright through his freshman year there, and we were making enough money to get by. It wasn't really until his sophomore year when things started getting bad.

"You can imagine how all relationships begin to get rocky. He began spending more time with his friends and at the bar, and he was bringing home more beer than food on most nights. Normally he came home drunk, and he was one of the alcoholics that got overbearingly angry whenever he was under the influence. I received the brunt of that anger most of the time," I explained, wincing as I could remember James shouting at me and throwing things.

"He hurt you?" Edward scowled, as if this thought angered him. It must have been because of his sincere, sweet nature that he was angered by the fact that anyone would hurt a fellow human being.

I nodded, and decided to continue. "Things were bad by the time Riley tuned three. One night, we were arguing when Riley woke up and called for me. James forgot about her whenever he was angry, I guess, because he acted surprised when he heard her voice. He dragged her out of her room and threw her down with me and… and then he pulled out a gun. He loosed a shot, and I managed to pull Riley down in time. But he shot again before I was ready. Riley was hit in the shoulder." I buried my face in my hands, feeling horrible about remembering it. It had all been my fault.

Edward was very interested in the story, because he was leaning forward with his green eyes on me. There was a frown on his face, and it was probably because he was getting disgusted with me. But I knew if I stopped now, I'd never be able to start telling him again.

"It took her a month to get out of the hospital. I had a broken leg, but my condition wasn't nearly as bad as hers. After we were released, James was put through court, and was sentenced to twelve years for attempted murder of an adolescent. Jasper took us to live with him, and that's sort of when and where I met Alice. She took care of us, but I didn't like being a burden to Jasper… so I rented an apartment and got a job. I left Riley with Jasper and Alice most of the time.

"So I guess it was about six or seven years before I started dating again. The next one was this guy named Jacob. He was so nice and caring – he was like my best friend. I brought him home to Riley and he was pretty nice to her. I thought that maybe he was the one… I though that we would be perfect together, but…" I paused, letting out a sigh.

"What happened?" Edward asked earnestly. I didn't miss how he was leaning across the table, fascinated with my story.

"Jacob was introduced to gambling, at the casino on the outskirts of town. He went every Sunday with his friends and I didn't like it a lot. I told him that and, well… he became upset and things started just like they had with James. Riley was only ten, but she understood so much more than she had when she was three. She was scared of Jacob. Whenever he came home, she'd lock us in her room with snacks.

"Well, one night it just sort of came to a climax like it had with James. Only… I wasn't home. I had thought Jacob was out gambling, and Riley had insisted that she stay home. Jasper was out of town with Alice visiting our father, so she couldn't go to his house and stay for a while.

"When I got home, I found Riley on the floor. There was blood and her arm was twisted the wrong way… I thought he'd shot her, just like James had. I called the police, and I called Jasper… he came home right away with Alice and made sure I could stay with him. I sold the apartment, because nobody really wants to live in a place where something bad happened, so…

"Riley tried to convince me that it wasn't my fault, that she should have gone to work with me, but how could I not blame myself? That was the second time that Riley was hurt because of me. I mean, I was so scared and… I just… I couldn't believe that I had managed to put her in danger again," I said, my voice dying off into a broken whisper as I held my head in my hands.

Even though I wasn't looking at him, I could practically feel Edward tense as if he had wanted to do something and had restrained himself from doing it. I could feel his eyes on me. "Bella, I think Riley is right. It isn't your fault that these terrible things have happened. Though it is hard not to blame yourself for the pain of a loved one, you have to learn that not everything is your fault," he told me gently. "Don't blame yourself for Riley's pain. You know she would feel the same way if it had been you that was hurt."

He had a point. I knew Riley would feel terrible if I ever got hurt.

But before I let myself dwell on it any further, I continued on. "Well, Jasper let me stay with him again for a while. But we only stayed for a month. I rented out a house near the docks – I was working with the theater by then. Alice got the manager to hire me, even though I didn't have a college education. I thought that life was going to turn around.

"Well, it didn't. I went to a country club on the west side of town and met this guy named Laurent. He was dancing with another woman, but I didn't think anything of it when he began flirting with me. He told me I was beautiful, and he asked if I was single… when I told him I was, he offered to take me to dinner. Someone smarter probably would have turned him down, but… I didn't. I couldn't help but hope that maybe things were going to get better.

"I probably should have listened when Jasper told me that Laurent wasn't to be trusted. Riley didn't like him much, but she put up with him for my sake. I should have seen it coming, I guess."

"Seen what?" Edward was looking at me again, frowning.

"What a bastard he was," I spat out remembering the night with perfect clarity. "He was always the jealous sort of guy. I mean, I never really paid attention to many people, but whenever I did he would get so angry. I'd always be able to calm him down, and then he'd apologize and tell me how much he trusted me. When a man tells you something like that, a woman can't just not forgive them, I suppose.

"Well, there was one night when this waiter was flirting with me. Laurent dragged me home and was yelling. He began taking my shirt off, telling me that he'd teach me a lesson. He was calling me these horrible names, but then… Riley came downstairs. She'd been sleeping, I guess. But she yelled at him, and told him to stop talking to me like that. You can imagine his reaction.

"He turned towards her… told he he'd teach her to keep her mouth shut. Riley was scared, and she tried to run, but…. He was so quick; he grabbed her arm and began pulling down her pants. I tried to find a bat… but when I did find one, I was too late. Riley, she – well, she…" My voice trailed off and I held my head in my hands again. Thinking of her face that night was practically unbearable. The terror that had been in her eyes had been torturous for me then, and it remained that way now.

"Bella…" Edward was standing up now. Was he leaving, so disgusted that he was going to distance himself from me now? "Come up to the deck with me."

His invitation caught me completely off guard. "What?" I asked, bewildered.

"Come with me. I want to speak to you in private, and in here just isn't quite the place to do it," Edward told me. He offered me his hand.

I was hesitant. Why did he want to speak to me in private? Was it so that nobody would see me cry whenever he told me that I was worthless, or that he was going to make me scream by hurting me? He must have seen some kind of fear in my eyes, because what he offered next was a small reassuring smile.

"I won't hurt you, I promise. I just think we need the quiet of the night air outside," he told me, the sincerity burning behind his words.

There was no way to doubt him. Almost mechanically, I placed my hand in his and allowed him to pull me to my feet. Keeping me so steady (he must have realized by now that I was so clumsy that I could set off a nuclear bomb), he led me out of the dining room gracefully. I could feel Jasper and Alice's eyes on me, but I refused to look behind me.

He led me up two flights of stairs, the cool Chicago night air nipping at us. We went up onto the deck, where only two other couples were watching the beautiful Chicago lights that were behind us. But Edward didn't take me to those tables they were sitting at. Instead, he took me to the front of the boat.

Looking out over the water, it was all pitch black. Only the faint glow of the city lights behind us were reflected on the water. Beyond that there was only blackness, and the white of the moon above us. I turned to face Edward, to find that all the beauty was here in front of me.

"Bella," he said, now that he had my attention, "I wanted to say this out of Jasper's possible earshot." If it had been any other time but now, I probably might have found that funny.

"What?" I asked quietly instead.

"I think that you're the bravest, most beautiful woman I've ever met. Especially for dealing with all of those bastards in the past, and for raising a daughter that loves you so much. I'm happy that you chose to confide in me, but I'm going to ask something else of you," he answered, looking at me intently.

I paused, and a hole in my heart flared and nipped up at my brain. Those were words similar to what Laurent, Jacob, and James. They'd all called me brave and beautiful. Was this just another front too?

Edward seemed to see that he would never get an answer from me in response to that, so he sighed. "I'm asking you to give me a chance. I can see what you've been through, though I will probably never understand fully. I want to protect you, and make sure nothing like this ever happens again. Can you give me that chance?"

"I suppose you're asking me to be your girlfriend?" I asked now, wincing at the casual use of the term. That was what James, Laurent, and Jacob had referred to me as. Could I be referred to it again?

It took a lot to answer that question.

Edward seemed like a sincere, kind man. But his compliments just now were a bit over the top for someone who had just met me, Isabella Swan. And the doubt that would forever be with me began eating at me heart like a leech. No man would ever want to seriously date me, not after what I had caused to happen to my daughter. Any hopes I'd had for being happy with a man was destroyed years ago.

But… was it possible to love again, to trust someone completely? It might have been, but if it was, it was buried deep within myself where I couldn't find it. Edward had just asked to go out with me, but could I give him the chance? Could I risk getting hurt again?

"Do you promise to never hurt Riley?" I questioned him softly, looking up into his green eyes with pleading in my own.

His expression melted from one of determination to one of regret. "Of course. I promise to protect you both. Bella, I'm not like them. I want to help you." His green eyes smoldered with the finality of his declaration.

In a way, it was almost impossible to doubt him. The way he stared at me, and the way his eyes watched my every move made me feel a little safe. Riley was nice enough to him, and she even seemed to like him. She liked him enough to try and get us together, and Alice was in on this too. Had this been their plan? To get him to ask me out by throwing a pity party?

I let out a deep breath. "Edward, I'm not exactly ready to be a girlfriend yet," I murmured, since I would feel like a scumbag if I lied to him. "But I'll give you a chance. I just don't think someone like me deserves someone like you."

Even here in the darkness, I could see him frown.

"Bella, what makes you think that? You have never abandoned liked your family like I did. You've been through so much, and despite all of that, here you stand before me opening yourself up. It makes you such a brave woman, Isabella, and I don't think you realize that. I think that it is I that doesn't deserve you," he answered fervently.

I rubbed my bare arms with my hands, like I was cold. I watched him warily. He didn't look like he was lying. "Edward, don't promise me anything yet – except that you won't try to hurt my daughter. You're a wonderful man, I'm sure, but don't try to flatter me like that. It… it brings back bad memories," I told him, and that was true. It was getting easier talking to him, I couldn't deny.

"I'm sorry, Bella… Would you like to go back down and eat the rest of you meal? I'm sure you didn't eat much," Edward offered, looking almost a little hesitant.

"Yes… thank you, Edward," I answered as he began leading me back towards the stairs leading to our dining room.

"Whatever for, Bella?" He glanced at me over his shoulder, his expression bewildered. I almost smiled at it, because the expression didn't belong there. Almost.

"For listening. Not many people would do that, I don't think," I replied, looking down at my feet to make sure I didn't trip. He guided me down the stairs carefully and back into the dining room to the VIP section where our table still sat, vacant with our food still there on our plates. No steam was rising from it.

Edward didn't respond.

My eyes wandered to where Jasper and Alice were sitting. Alice smiled at me encouragingly, her green eyes warm with pride. She seemed to sense that I had indeed told him. The problem was that Jasper seemed to sense this too. His eyes were narrowed in my direction, but Edward was behind me so the glare might have been directed at him. If looks could kill, both of us would be dead. I sent him a pleading glance before sitting back down to my salmon and pasta.

It was a little cold, but Edward and I still ate our platefuls without another word. Both of us were submerged in our own thoughts.

"Bella, what are you thinking about?" he suddenly asked, looking back up at me for a few more minutes.

"Hm?" I looked at him, surprised by the question. "Why?"

"For the most part, I can read people's faces quite well – sometimes it's easy to see what they're thinking. I can't read your face, because you always surprise me. So what are you thinking about?" Was he really that interested?

I paused to collect my thoughts. "I'm thinking about Jasper, actually. I think he's still glaring at us right now," I confessed with a small smile. "He's very protective of me."

"I can see that," Edward murmured in a small chuckle. "Yes, he's still glaring. Mainly at me, so I have no idea what you would be worried about."

"There's plenty I would be worried about," I murmured.

Edward didn't reply to that, and instead continued to look at me curiously. His emerald green eyes watched me carefully as I continued eating the delicious salmon. In the background, I could vaguely hear the DJ announcing that dancing was beginning to start, and music beginning to play on the small dance floor. I ignored this, because I really didn't like dancing. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Alice pull my brother out of his chair and guide him to the dance floor.

I was thankful for her distraction. Now Jasper's eyes weren't boring into my back like a pair of knives. Edward visibly relaxed too, and he decided to lighten up the conversation.

"Looks like we're both scared of your big brother," he laughed.

I giggled, letting myself forget the serious conversation we'd had a few moments ago. "You'd better watch yourself on your way home tonight. I wouldn't put it past Jasper to send assassins after you," I teased as I took a sip on my lemonade. Edward chuckled and got to his feet again when he saw I was finished.

"Would you like to go up on deck again?" he asked me now with a small smile on his face. "I don't think we got to see the full beauty of the Lake Michigan waters." A blinding smile lit his features, and so how could I refuse? With a small smile, I put my hand in his and allowed him to draw me outside into the cool Chicago night air once more. Perhaps, at some point, I would be able to trust him completely.

I, at least, had faith. It was a start, wasn't it?

EOC: Yay! Finally, around a cramped schedule and a grounding, I managed to update this story. A bit of a short update, and horribly written, but… hey, I still got it up right? And I am proud to say that I have been on the Spirit boat, and it is REALLY nice. My band friends and I went to Chicago and went on it. The next day we went to Navy Pier. Such a nice two-day vacation. *dreams about going to Chicago again*. Such a nice place, that is. Anyways, I hope you weren't too bored with this chapter, and I'll try to update as soon as I can!!! But knowing my evil mother and her being a Nazi about my grades, well… who knows? I promise next chapter will be spicy and full of angst just for you guys!