Haley headed back to the hotel, totally confused about everything in her life. There was Jared, and Jared was…stable. He was never volatile with her, and he was patient about everything, which she couldn't say for Nathan. But she wasn't sure she was in love with him the way she had been with Nathan.
Then when it came to Nathan…her heart sped up every time she thought of him. She would think of those baby blue eyes and his crooked smile, and she was gone on him. Nathan, however, had turned her away so many years ago, and she wasn't sure she could handle hurt from him again. It was hard to let go of the first time, and she didn't want to try a second time if it came to that.
Jared understood Haley, and he gave her space when she needed it. He was loving and gentle with her, and he never pushed her. With Jared, she was safe and secure. It never changed. It wasn't that she wasn't safe and secure when she was with Nathan, but Nathan challenged her in a way that Jared never had. And Nathan made her feel like she could take on the world. He made her brave.
She slid the key into the door of her room and was surprised to find Nathan gathering his things together. "I figured you'd still be playing basketball," she said softly, causing him to turn around and face her, stopping what he was doing.
"I got sick of talking to Luke," he admitted, grinning a little bit. He realized he had a lot to say to her, but he didn't know how to start. There was apologizing he wanted to do, and then he just wanted to talk and let it all out. He wanted to let all the feelings he knew he had for her after all those years out. He wanted her to know the truth.
"Happens to me too sometimes," she agreed, chuckling. "He thinks he knows what's best for everyone, and I love him for it, but…it gets kind of old when you want to live your own life, you know?"
"Yeah," he agreed quietly. "Listen, I owe you an apology for the way I just left earlier. I shouldn't have left you alone on the floor of an elevator, Haley."
"It's better than leaving you alone in an apartment with my crazy sister," she pointed out to him, reminding him of that horrible night. The night when Taylor informed him that his wife was gone, and that she didn't know when or if she would even be coming back.
"True," he agreed. "But I still shouldn't have done it. I was just…surprised that you hadn't told him the truth about your life, Haley. And I know you still have that tattoo on your back, and I'm wondering what lie you told him to get out of that one?"
"A tribute to Michael Jordan," she admitted, turning red.
"You don't even like sports!" he exclaimed, laughing.
"I know," she mumbled. "So, um, are you going to dinner with everyone tonight?"
"I kind of figured I'd skip it," he informed her, zipping up the duffel bag he had brought with him to North Carolina. "I've had a long day."
"Me too, but I'm not skipping it…these are our friends, Nathan, and seriously, how often are we all together for dinner?"
"Not often," he realized out loud, knowing she was right. Peyton, Jake, Lucas, Brooke, and even Haley had put up with a lot from him over the years. He owed it to them to be at their dinner. They were his friends, and had been there whenever they were needed. He cleared his throat. "Are you bringing your boyfriend?"
"Doubt that," she scoffed, sitting on the bed. "Jared is pissed at me, and he has every right to be. I shouldn't have lied to him about all of that."
"No, you shouldn't have," he said, agreeing with her. Well, at least she knew she was wrong. That was still his Haley in there. She had just made some mistakes. "But you told him the truth."
"Yeah," she said in a soft voice. "I just don't know where we go from here…if we even go anywhere from here."
"Why'd you do it, Haley?" he asked her suddenly. "Why did you lie to him about everything? All of that is a huge part of your life and who you are…who you became."
She sighed and shook her head. "I honestly don't know anymore. It's a lot to take in, and I know that's part of it…but then I always figured it wouldn't ever go this far with Jared. I didn't think we'd be getting engaged, so I always kind of figured it didn't matter. Then when he proposed, I knew I had to tell him, but it was never the right time or place."
"Do you regret everything that happened back then?" he asked, fearing her answer.
"God, no!" she exclaimed, her big brown eyes wide and serious. "You were…you were my first love, Nathan…you were my first everything, and I wouldn't change that. Things didn't end how I would have liked them to, but it doesn't mean I regret them. How could I?"
He smiled at that. She didn't regret them or anything that had happened. He was so relieved to hear that. "Haley," he addressed. "I think I'm still in love with you."
She looked up at him, her mouth hanging open. "What?"
He went to sit beside her and took one of her hands in his. She wasn't sure how she felt about that, but she didn't pull away, and that pleased Nathan. "It took me six years, an engagement, a swollen jaw, and a kiss in this hotel room to realize that. I want to be with you again, Haley."
She swallowed hard. She didn't know what she could even say. She knew that she still loved Nathan too. It was hard admitting that to herself, but it was the truth. She still loved him, but she knew how wrong it was. She had been engaged to another man, and as far as she knew, she still was. She still had the ring, and he had never told her that they were breaking up.
"I'm engaged, Nathan," she whispered, breaking her hand free of his.
He couldn't ignore the pang of hurt he felt in his heart when she said those words and extracted herself from his grasp. He knew she was engaged, but he was in love with her, and she needed to know that. And he figured once she did that things would work themselves out. He was wrong, apparently.
"I know, but you said yourself you were unsure of it," he reminded her. "You told me that you wanted more time."
"Yeah," she said, "time where I could think about my future and what I really want. Not time where you tell me you're in love with me after six years."
"I'm sorry I'm such an inconvenience, Haley," he retorted, standing up.
She stood up too, shaking her head. "Nathan, don't be like this. I'm sorry, but I don't know what you want me to say! You have a girlfriend, and I have a fiancé! I've been with him for a year and a half, Nathan, and I can't just forget that and go running back to you!"
"I never asked you to," he said, strangely calm. "I told you that I wanted us to be together, but I didn't ask you for anything."
"When you told me that you were in love with me," she started, "what did you expect was going to happen? You think I would just say something like 'thanks,' and then be on my own way? What the hell, Nathan?"
"I don't know what I thought would happen!" he exclaimed, running his hands through his thick hair. "But I thought you deserved to know the truth. I made a mistake back then by letting you go. And I wanted you to know that."
"Nathan…" She trailed off, not knowing what to say to him. Everything was so messed up right now. She couldn't promise him anything right now. She had a fiancé, and she needed to work things out with him. That was her priority at the moment.
"Forget it," he muttered. "It was stupid."
With that, Nathan picked up his things and left the room, not looking back once.
He knew where he stood with her. Everything was over now. For good. He realized that he had blown his chance when she showed up at his house the summer before senior year. He had screwed it all up then. Damn his pride.
She was going to work it out with Jared and marry him, Nathan was sure of that. There would be wedding photos in magazines and tabloids, and he knew that even though he would hate himself for it, he would go purchase some. He would want to see her wedding photos, and how it all went for her. He could only hope that she would find the happiness with Jared that he himself wanted with her.
"Do I want him back?" Haley asked Peyton later as she sat in the hotel room. She hadn't moved since Nathan left. Instead, she called Peyton and Brooke, telling them it was an emergency, and like the true friends they were, they came running. Peyton didn't care that she was getting married in two days. What she cared about was Haley and making sure her friend was okay.
"I don't know, Haley," she told her, looking at Brooke who just shrugged. "This is something that you have to decide."
"How did it feel when he left the room?" Brooke questioned her, hoping to help her friend realize what she really wanted. Brooke knew that Haley really wanted Nathan, but her friend had been so hurt in the past that she was afraid to give it another go. Well that, and she had a fiancé named Jared.
"It…hurt," she said simply, shrugging her shoulders. "He didn't even look back once."
"Maybe he's just done now," Peyton suggested. "He put his heart on the line and you just shot it down." Haley cringed at her words. "Come on, you know how stubborn and prideful he is. That took a lot in him just to tell you the small things he did."
"On the contrary," Brooke said, holding up her finger, "I don't think that being in love with Haley is a small thing. It's huge, and it's taken him six years to realize it!"
"I didn't mean it was small," Peyton backtracked, playing with one of her curls. "I meant that he only told you one thing, and it took so much in him to tell you that. You know that. You know how hard it is for him to be vulnerable and open up to people."
"I know," Haley said softly. She just didn't know what do anymore. Nathan was seriously wearing his heart on his sleeve for her, and she had just dismissed it like it was nothing. And it was not nothing. Those words were something she had dreamed about for years. She had wanted to hear them, and she used to picture all the different ways she would respond to them. Telling him that she was engaged was not one of the pictures she had in her mind.
"You need to really think about things," Brooke advised, patting her on the knee. "Sooner or later, Hales, Nathan's going to just forget it and go back to California and Alyssa. And if that's what you want, then fine. But if it's not, then you have to tell him…before it's too late for both of you."
A few hours later, Haley was putting the finishing touches on her hair and makeup. She was going to go to dinner, and she didn't care if Nathan was there or not. She was going to make her friends happy and attend. And she did want to go, even if things could get a bit awkward.
She was spraying some of her perfume when she heard a knock on the door. Quickly, she went to answer it, smoothing her hair out. Why she did that, she really didn't know. If it was Jared or even Nathan on the other side, she wanted to look nice.
She opened the door.
Jared.
"Hey," he said gently, his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his blue jeans. "Think we can talk for a minute?"
"Sure," she agreed, holding open the door so he could come in. She walked to the bathroom and unplugged her straightener before joining him. "Where did you go earlier?"
"I got to the airport and booked a flight back home," he admitted to her, running a hand through his shaggy hair. "And then they were boarding, and I couldn't move. I just sat there, wondering what you were doing, and I realized that I needed to come talk to you, and tell you something. Something you needed to know before I got on that plane."
"Go on, then," she urged him, tugging at her black dress. She was feeling really nervous all of the sudden, wondering what he was going to tell her.
"What you did was really shitty, Haley," he informed her. "We're engaged, but it seems like everything between us is a lie - "
"Jared." She held up her hand. "If this is just about insulting me and making me feel worse, you can save it. I've beat myself up all day for how all of this came out."
"Let me finish then," he said, a gentle smile coming across his lips. "I know that a lot of things happened to you that I don't know about, and obviously you don't know everything about me, but…I don't care, Haley. What I realized is that I don't care. I'm in love with you…no matter what happened in your past. What matters is the future, and I still see mine with you."
She took a deep breath. Wow. That was definitely not what she was expecting to hear from him. She expected him to yell at her, tell her that she'd ruined everything. She expected him to ask for the ring back, and to tell her to never contact him again. But he didn't. He told her that he was still in love with her, and wanted a future with her…despite the lies.
"Jared," she started, "I love you. You know that, but…I just don't know what I'm doing anymore. In California, I thought I was happy, but I came down here, and I realized that I really wasn't."
He stood up. He wasn't going to sit here and listen to her proclaim her love for another guy. A guy that didn't want her when she came home, so why should he get her now? She was Jared's now. Nathan Scott had a chance, and he blew it.
"This is about Nathan," Jared surmised, his hands on his hips.
"No." She got up, and stood as tall as she could. "This is about me. I feel…fake in California," she admitted. "And I came here, and it doesn't matter what clothes I wear or what I say, or who I'm seen with. I can be myself here, and not worry about anything else."
"Nathan made you realize that," he suspected out loud. "This is all about Nathan, and you just don't want to tell me. You're still in love with him."
"Jared…" She grabbed for his arm, but he pulled away, stung. She stepped back at that, and watched as he moved towards the door. "This isn't about him!" she called out.
He turned around, his gaze fixed icily upon her. "I'm done," he said simply, and with that, he walked out.
Dinner that night was awful. It was tense and awkward and just about any other adjective that could be used to describe a sucky dinner. It should have been a happy one, considering what they were all gathered for. The wedding of Peyton and Jake.
Peyton and Brooke were doing their best to resolve the situation, but their attempts were failing. Lucas and Jake were looking like they wanted to be anywhere but there. Haley was pouting about Jared…and Nathan too. Nathan was pissed at Haley that he had finally put himself out there, and she shot him down.
"You know," Haley said after the silence that seemed to go on for hours, "I think I need to go home. To California, I mean."
"What?" Brooke looked up from her salad. "Why?"
"I have caused so many problems by coming back here," she explained, gesturing towards Nathan, who had yet to look at her that night. "I think it's just best if I get going before anyone else gets hurt."
"Haley, no," Peyton said firmly. "Jake and I knew that there would be some…drama when you came back here. We knew how things were, and you know what? We don't care. We want you here. You're our friend, and you watched our relationship grow, and you deserve to be in this wedding with all of us."
"It's true, Haley," Jake agreed. "No matter what has happened in the past or is going to happen, you belong here. You belong in this group. Whether you want to believe it or not."
"Really," Lucas jumped in. "Things suck without you, Hales. No one plays mini golf with me."
She laughed. "All you have to do is ask someone else, Lucas. You don't need me anymore. You haven't needed me in a long time."
"Yeah," Peyton scoffed, setting down her glass of wine. "That's why I call you and text you every single day. That's why Jenny calls you her 'Aunt Haley,' and that's why Brooke and Luke go out to visit you occasionally," she listed off the reasons in sarcasm. "We all need you, Haley."
"You made mistakes," Brooke said. "So what? We've all made them, but you know what? No one is judging you here, Hales. Everyone knows what you've been through, and we don't care. We'll sit here and hold your hand and tell you it's okay if that's what you need. But we're not letting you leave…because you're what we need."
She smiled at all of her friends and wiped the tear that had escaped down her cheek. Those were some of the sweetest words she had ever heard in her life, and her friends had done it. They had convinced her to stay, and to be honest, she would have regretted leaving. She'd been waiting a long time to see this wedding happen.
"I really didn't want to go home!" she admitted, sobbing a little.
They all laughed a little and gave her smiles. "You're our friend," Lucas announced, patting her on the shoulder. "Don't forget that."
"Thank you guys," she whispered, smiling gratefully at Brooke when she handed her a tissue.
"Well, well," a deep voice slurred. "Isn't this cozy?"
"Jared," Haley whispered, her mouth dropping open as he stepped closer to their table.
Nathan's fists clenched on the table as he saw the guy who was supposed to marry Haley. It really pissed him off that he had the nerve to come to Tree Hill. And it pissed him off even more that the guy had punched him when he had done nothing wrong.
"Having fun, sweetie?" he spit out venomously, obviously drunk. "I know you are, because look who's at the table with you! It's Nathan fucking Scott!"
"Jared." Lucas shook his head and stood up. "I think it's probably best if you take off, man. This isn't your dinner, and these aren't your friends."
Jared laughed in his face. "That's my girlfriend." He pointed to Haley, who looked down. She didn't want to deal with him right now, and he had dumped her. Why was he acting like a jackass when he was the one who said he was done?
"Right," Nathan scoffed, standing up with his brother. "You should probably think about turning around and heading out that exit door. Then tomorrow when your head is pounding because you got drunk, you can wonder what you said and did to make Haley break up with you."
"Nathan," Haley whispered his name softly, and tugged on his hand. "Don't worry about it. It's fine."
"No, Haley!" He wrenched out of her grasp. "It's not fine. You don't belong with this joke! Look at him! He gets mad that you have a past, so he heads to the bar! Come on!"
"Nathan." Lucas reached over and tried to push his brother back down, but Nathan wouldn't budge. "Jake, help me out here, man."
"Nathan." Jake stood up, grabbing Nathan's arm. "Let's go outside and take a breather, alright? Haley's got this."
"No she doesn't!" Nathan pulled free of Jake's grip, like he had done when Haley had a hold of him. "Look at her, Jake! She can't even look at the guy! She doesn't have this!"
Haley hung her head in her hands, ashamed that it had all spun out of control. She had no idea that by keeping her past a secret that all of these problems would form. Now Nathan was itching for a fight, and Jared was drunk. All she wanted to do was run to the hotel room, find Mr. Waffles, and hold him tightly while tears spilled out of her eyes.
"This is all about you, Nathan," Jared snarled, his eyes full of fury. "That fucking tattoo on her back? It's all for you. The reason she's been putting off the wedding? It's you! It's you, isn't it? It's always been you!"
"Get out of here," Brooke ordered him, pointing towards the door. "You are making a scene, and no one wants you here. In fact, no one even wants you in this town. Not even Haley."
Jared swayed on his feet a little, and Haley wondered if he was going to pass out from all the alcohol he had consumed. He looked like he had quite a bit. She stood up and grabbed her purse. "I'll take him back to the hotel," she said. She'd had enough. She wasn't going to let him insult her and everyone else and cause a scene. Not here, not now.
"Don't do him any favors," Nathan muttered, finally looking at her. "Why don't you just dump his ass already?"
"Because he dumped mine!" she screamed at him, making everyone in the restaurant look at their table. They had quite a few spectators before, but now it was every single person there. "He told me he was done when I told him that I wasn't happy in California, alright? You satisfied, Nathan?!"
He gaped at her and slowly slid back down in his chair. He didn't know what to think now. Haley was single, but it wasn't her choice. He clamped his mouth shut, and just decided to let everyone handle it. He'd done enough. He could tell she was completely embarrassed that she had admitted that so loudly to him. And she was probably embarrassed that the whole breaking up thing had happened too.
"Get him out of here," Peyton said to Haley. "Get him out of here, and you come back. You are welcome. He is not."
"Peyton…"
"No, Hales, I mean it," she said firmly, and Jake nodded. "Come back. We want you here, and if they kick us out of the restaurant, I don't care. We'll go back to our house. You're not going to be alone with that jackass."
"Peyton's jumping to your defense!" Jared exclaimed. "And someone ought to! After all, Nathan's sitting down. He obviously couldn't do anything for you," he slurred in her ear, and she turned around to glare at him. Before she could say anything, Lucas was punching Jared in his face. Jared fell to the ground, holding his nose.
It was definitely the dinner from Hell.