I bet all of you are completely shocked that I updated this so quickly again. But anyway, I did! So I hope you enjoy this!! :) this is probably a chapter that might make some of you pretty happy. :)
The song ended, and Haley broke away from Nathan. Her heels clicked against the floor as she walked away, leaving him standing there. She had to get away for a few minutes. She had to gather her thoughts and just be alone. She needed alone time.
Being in Nathan's arms did feel right. But could she really allow herself to go there again? Could she really completely and totally fall into him again, and risk being hurt? She knew Nathan didn't want to hurt her, but it didn't mean he wouldn't. She pushed open the door of the reception hall, and dropped down on the steps.
The song had nearly caused her to break down right there in front of everyone. The words were beautiful, and it showcased everything that Nathan was telling her. Even if she didn't want to be with him, he just wanted to hold her, and that made her heart soar and ache all at the same time. He was going to settle for just holding her because she couldn't commit to him, and he was okay with that. It was so sweet of him, and it really touched her. He was letting her have her space, and she really appreciated that.
At the same time though, she was questioning if she really did need that space. She was at the point in her life where she wanted to settle down, and get married, and have a family. She was planning on that with Jared, but that fell through, and now her plans were up in the air. She was ready to be with someone again, and be their wife, but she didn't know if it was too soon. Oh, who was she kidding? It was too soon. Her engagement had just ended!
The door opened behind her, and she didn't have to turn around to know that it was Nathan. "Is this spot taken?" he asked her, pointing beside her. She shook her head, and he took it. "Haley, I didn't mean to upset you."
"Oh, Nathan, no," she said. "You didn't. I'm just confused about everything."
"Everything meaning me?" he inquired, turning to face her.
She shrugged slightly. "Maybe a little bit of you. I know you're sincere in what you're saying, but I can't trust that I won't get hurt again, you know? And I don't want to get hurt again." He nodded. "I'm also just confused about the timing of all of this, and what's right for me…and until I figure that out, I can't be with you."
"I understand that," he assured her. "I really do...but Haley, I'm not going to hurt you again. I promise you. I'm not that same stubborn kid I was back then. I know what I want now, and maybe I won't always show you the right way, but what I want is you."
"That's really sweet," she said, smiling. "The problem is I don't know what I want. You have it all figured out, and that's great, but it's not that way for me."
It was hard for him to hear - that she wasn't ready to want him back, but he got it. As hard as it was, he got it. She was going through a lot, and him pushing her to be with him again wasn't helping the matter. He needed to just give her space, and leaving in the morning would definitely do it.
"That's fair," he replied. "Listen, I need to tell you something."
"Okay." She nodded at him. "What's up?"
"I'm leaving in the morning."
"Leaving?" she repeated. She blinked up at him. "What do you mean? I thought you were going to stay and spend time with Luke for a few more days."
"I was," he responded. "I just think it's time to get out of here, you know? And I think if I take off now, things will be easier on you too. I want that for you, Haley. I don't want things to be hard. You've had enough hard in your life."
"Most of that hard dealt with you," she pointed out. They both laughed. "I appreciate you thinking about me and wanting the best for me, but…you don't have to do that. You should stay if you want to stay."
"Nah." He shook his head. "Besides, I should probably be at home, training for basketball or something involving my career. I'd like to keep the money rolling in."
She rolled her eyes. "I think you have enough to keep you going for a while, Nathan."
"True…but I still like it to come in." He looked over at her. "I came out here because I wanted to tell you goodbye. I mean, I know we live in the same state, but we never see each other, and I doubt that starts now."
"You don't know that," she told him, looking in his cerulean eyes. The eyes that belonged to the boy she fell in love with when she was sixteen, and the man she was still so obviously in love with now. "We worked things out. Maybe we can be friends when we're both in California again."
He scoffed at that remark. They wouldn't be friends. They couldn't be friends, and they had established that in the hotel room a few days before. There was too much history there for that. They either got back together or they were nothing. That was how Nathan saw it, and that was pretty much how it was.
"You know that won't happen," he muttered.
"Fine," she conceded. "You're right. You won't be friends with me. You're either having sex with me or you're ignoring me like you did the past six years, right?"
He shook his head at her. "I never said that. I don't just want you for sex or whatever lame ass thing is running through your stubborn mind right now. I want you to be with me again, Haley, and you know that. You know I'm in love with you and that I want another chance with you. I want you because my heart is yours, and I know that somewhere in there, you know that yours is mine."
"I told you we can't do this," she whispered, a tear rolling down her cheek. "It's all too soon."
"I know, and that's why I'm not going to push you or bring it up anymore. I just want you to know that my feelings for you aren't going to go away, and I'll be here for you if you decide it's what you want."
"Well thank you for that," she offered.
"Yeah." He nodded. "So I guess this is goodbye. I'm going to head back and get my things together after I say bye to Peyton and Jake. Then I need to get some sleep. I've got to leave at six."
"Ew. That's too early for me."
He laughed. "I know. Anyway.." He wrapped an arm around her, and she didn't pull away from him. Instead, she leaned her head against his shoulder and just let him hold her again. And it did feel good…to both of them. "I'm really glad I got to see you again, and to learn what I did about myself. This is the first time Tree Hill's felt like home in a long time, and that's because you were here." He turned and kissed the top of her head. "You're the only girl I've ever loved, Haley, and that's not going to change. Not now and not ever."
She nodded against his shoulder and let out a little sob. "I'm sorry that the timing's always sucked for us. Or that one of us is always too stubborn to do anything."
"I'm sorry too. And I'm sorry for blindsiding you with all these feelings and I'm sorry for the way I acted when I first saw you again. I was just…well, I don't know what I was."
"An ass?" she quipped.
He laughed. "Yes. An ass," he repeated, grinning. "I've always been that way when I get hurt, and I'm sorry for all the hurt we've gone through because of each other…but it's over now, and I promise you that if you want to ever try again with me, there won't be anymore of it."
"Okay," she said simply. She didn't want to say anything else and get his hopes up. As much as she loved Nathan, she just didn't know if she could be with him again. And it probably wasn't helping that she was letting him hold her, but she couldn't help it. His arm around her just felt so wonderful. She didn't want him to remove it.
"Okay," he said again. "Well. I guess all I have to say now is I love you, and I really hope I see you again soon."
She lifted her head up and smiled at him, the tears shining in her brown eyes. This was it. This was their goodbye, and she didn't know if she would be able to commit to him again. She also didn't know when the next time she saw him would be. She didn't want to get his hopes up, but at the same time, she wanted him to know that she loved him too.
So she went for it. She was concerned about Nathan getting hopeful on them again when she didn't know what she wanted, but he needed to know. He had told her the way he felt, and she needed to do the same. She took a deep breath, and brought her hand up to cup his cheek. "I love you too."
He smiled and kissed her softly on the lips. "That's all I needed to hear…I know it doesn't mean anything right now but it's nice to hear. I'll see you when I see you, okay?"
"Okay." They both stood up and Haley stepped into his arms for one more hug. "Good luck rolling in more money."
He smiled. "Good luck with your music, and whatever you decide to do." He pulled away from her and started to walk back inside, but stopped when he heard her soft voice call out to him. He turned around, waiting to hear what she wanted to say.
"Will you call me sometime?"
"You really want me to?"
"Yeah," she confirmed, smiling. "I really want you to. It'd be nice to hear from you."
"Then I'll call," he told her. He walked back inside then, not once looking back. He figured he didn't need to. She'd come back to him sometime. She loved him too. She said it herself.
She sat back down on the step, and looked back up at the dark sky. She knew she had probably said too much by telling him she loved him back, but maybe that was a good thing. Maybe it was a good thing that he knew how she felt - how she had always felt. It just sucked that they had gone through all that pain before she and Nathan both figured it out.
Loving him didn't solve anything, and it sure as hell didn't make anything easier. It didn't mean that they would get back together, but for now, it was enough for her. It was enough to know that she loved him, and if she wanted him, she could have him. He had told her he'd be there, and she believed that.
She knew with time she would figure out what she wanted and needed in her life to be really happy. And if that was Nathan, she would be glad about that. She would be happy if her life ended up being joined to his, but if it didn't, she would be okay. She had her music and her friends, and she was going to move back to Tree Hill. Her life would be full of good, with or without Nathan.
She just needed to figure out which of the two was better for her. Being with Nathan or not being with Nathan.
She walked back inside just in time to catch the end of Lucas's best man speech. "And so…" He took a deep breath, and Haley realized what he was about to do. She would have squealed if more people knew about it, but she and Nathan were the only ones. "Seeing Jake and Peyton so happy and in love and making it official makes me realize what I want in my life. So. Brooke Davis…" He walked over to his girlfriend and took her hand in his, dropping down to one knee. "Will you marry me?"
"Oh my God!" she nearly screamed, her face lighting up like a Christmas tree. "Of course I'll marry you!" She laughed and pulled him back up, and Lucas let the microphone drop to the floor. The crowd erupted in cheers as soon as she said yes, but once he dropped that, they all covered their ears. The squeak was terrible but Lucas and Brooke were oblivious to it. They kissed until Nathan clapped his brother on the back and picked up the microphone for him.
"Okay, so I guess my brother and his new fiancée deserve a round of applause. Looks like we'll all be seeing each other sooner than we thought." Everyone clapped, and it got even louder when Lucas pulled the ring out of his suit jacket. It was big, and the look on Brooke's face said how much she loved it. It was perfect for her, and yet again, Haley's friends became each other's forever.
It pulled at her heart a little bit. She wanted that again one day. But she was so happy for them. There wasn't anyone else who deserved to be engaged besides those two. She looked up and saw Nathan smile at her from across the room, and she realized everything would be okay again one day.
His smile gave her that.