AN: Iemura (3rd seat) is the guy who narrates his diary out loud, and Harunobu (8th seat) is the guy with curly hair who gets lots of mail. See, they do exist! The Hitsugaya scene was for my fantastic friend Zaphodiop, who writes terrific fanfics about him all the time. This is my first Bleach fanfiction I've posted (the only one good enough) so please read, review, and be gentle in said reviews. Thank you! (that being said, criticize away as long as it's constructive. )

The entire nightmare began with a sneeze.

"Ah-chee!"

Several shinagami chuckled at the weak sound. Isane sighed and corked another bottle of cough syrup.

"Wash your hands, Hanatarou."

"Yes Ma'am."

Everyone returned to supply preparation.

"98, 99, 100. I'm done." Yasochika Iemura set down the stack of tissues he'd been folding.

"Good. We won't be caught unawares this flu season," Isane replied quietly, continuing her work. In the clinic, lower-ranked shinagami were tending the few patients that remained. The seated officers, however, were camped in a storeroom attending to a far more important duty; Flu Season. Once a year, an entire squad was laid low by the flu. It was up to 4th division to keep them alive until it ran its course. The question, however, was this: Which division would catch it?

"Tenth, is my guess." Iemura suggested.

"I certainly hope not," Isane replied, "We only just released their captain from the clinic. Sickness on top of wounds would be something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy."

"I hope so," Harunobu Ogido said happily, "Have you seen the assistant cap—" He had to stop talking to dodge the various objects the female officers threw at him.

Isane cocked her head. "Actually, it's been years since Tenth Division caught it. They are the most likely. Them, or perhaps Eleventh."

Everyone in the room shuddered.

"So, tenth it is," Harunobu suggested optimistically.

"AH-CHEE!"

"Hanatarou, if you cannot stop sneezing so pathetically…" Iemura had to pause to cough. Isane looked at the two of them, worried.

"You aren't getting sick, are you? You must be immune, no one could make it this far in 4th division without catching the flu."

Iemura and Hanatarou both nodded.

"Good. Then we have nothing to worry about."

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"What are you saying?!" Kiyone demanded indignantly.

Sentaro shook his head. "There's no cough syrup left, Kiyone. I just checked."

"Well, you can just go in there and explain to Captain Ukitake that you lost his Cough Syrup!" She pointed angrily at the door.

"I can hear you, you know," Ukitake called.

They both ignored him.

"I didn't LOSE it! The BOTTLES are there, but they're EMPTY."

Kiyone glared at him. "Don't you DARE talk like that to me! Whose turn was it to get more?"

"We never get more! Your sister delivers it!"

"WELL WHERE IS SHE???"

"I DON'T KNOW!"

"Please stop fighting…" Ukitake called, but like always they chose to ignore just the one order.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"Look at this, Matusumoto."

"Look at what? I don't see anything, Captain."
"Right here. On my shoulder."

Matsumoto bent over and scrutinized the shoulder of her captain's white coat.

"It looks like a stain. You must be quite the messy eater to get food from your mouth all the way over there!"

He glared up at her. She smiled sweetly back.

"I have told you, time and time again: Just because my shoulder is at the level of your hand does NOT make me your personal napkin! You assured me it would wash out!"

Now Matsumoto was actually puzzled, not just feigning the emotion for her own amusement.

"It should have. Did you put it out for 4th squad to wash last night?"

"OF COURSE I DID!"

Matsumoto was too confused to pretend to be offended by his tone.

"But… they should have washed it… That's a little odd…"

"Yes, Matsumoto. JUST A LITTLE."

. . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . .. . .. .

"Wake up, you dirty-bald-monkey-faced-earwiggler!"

Yumichika opened one eye. That had better not be his door. If that was his door, someone would have to die, and he had theories that killing people before breakfast caused wrinkles.

He heard a door slam open across the hall and the sound of a scuffle. The scuffle ended with whoever had been yelling getting thrown through his door.

He sat up. Through the person-shaped hole in the door he could see Ikkaku, who pointed at his victim.
"Bastard! I AM TRYING TO SLEEP!" Then he turned and left.

It was excessively obvious to Yumichika that he was not going to get anymore sleep today. Ignoring Ikkaku's victim, who was starting to groan and stir, he got to his feet and went to the window. He threw open the shutters. He had chosen this room because of the view; he loved to see the beautiful, sparkling Seireitei, so pristine and deadly—

He yelped in surprise.

The view outside his window was DIRTY. It seemed he was going to have to work beating up 4th division into his busy schedule.