Act IV

Into my heart´s night

Along a narrow way

I groped; and lo! the light,

An infinite land of day.

- Rubaiyat of Rumi

September 1880

Erik

There is a distinct difference between privacy and seclusion. The first consists of moments of solitude to punctuate the majority of time spent with others. The second was the complete opposite. Erik knew more of the latter than the former. This fact in itself had affected him in an entirely negative way. In his interactions with others, he knew little of how he was expected to act but from the responses brought forth by his actions. And his history was filled with rather vile deeds, with equally vile consequences.

It seemed unimaginable that he should face such a future as he did with such a past as his. He was grateful to be around such understanding, loving individuals. Maybe it had something to do with the fact they were all women. Whatever it was, he felt cared for by the Giry family, little Marie, and now, Anna.

Things had changed drastically for Erik in the time since Anna had come to work in Paris. Even Christine did not come up in his mind randomly as often as she used to. This, a month after he and Anna had shared a kiss in his study, marked a new phase in his life. He was doing something he had never before expected to do: go out during the day, into the city. It had taken more than a few days of persistent prodding and polite requests, but Anna had accomplished it. To put him at ease, they had started with smaller challenges, like stepping outside into the sunlight during the day. It was different, to say the least, but Erik began to enjoy being awake and about during the daytime. Some days, if he were in a good mood, he would even say hello to the servants. They were shocked into silence, but no longer as frightened as when he was hardly ever seen. They were only going to Madame Giry´s residence, but in itself, the task of entering the world of the daytime was immense.

He sat patiently in the study, waiting for Anna and Marie to come upstairs after they were ready to leave. Normally at this time of the day he would sleep, and would wake up once it was darker for an evening of reading or composing. Today he felt satisfied to sit and think. He remembered the day he finally left the opera house, the only home he had ever known. He had felt sorrowful that day, to leave the twisting labyrinth where he had played as a child, the same dark paths in which he had led Christine.

He was to leave the house in which Christine and Raoul had lived, but he did not feel the same emotions as the day he left the opera. He was not going unaccompanied into the unknown, and he would return.

Anna

The changes in Erik´s routines proved that he felt emboldened by the connection he and Anna had made. She wouldn´t have pressed the issues had she thought Erik reactions would be negative. Frankly, his willingness to come with her and Marie in the bright daylight surprised and pleased her. Staying on the estate herself all the time could seem suffocating at times. She could only imagine what years of solitude and darkness could do to a person, and knew it hadn´t been good for Erik. Anna felt proud of her arguments for him accompanying the duo into town, as they seemed based in the benefits of going versus the damage that not going would inflict upon him. "It will be good for you to feel the sunlight. It isn't healthy for you to stay inside all the time." He seemed to buy into her argument, and his demeanor improved with each passing moment. He was nervous, of course, that was apparent, but his curiosity was quickly overtaking any negative feelings the visit might bring to mind.

Before they reached Giry´s flat, Anna and Marie ran an errand into a bookstore, while Erik stayed in the carriage. Once they emerged, Anna paused for a moment to look at the dark, serious man who had captured her heart.

It wasn´t as if Erik was her first suitor, she had went to a cotillion or two with young men who fancied her. But this seemed the first time in her life that she had really felt what Shakespeare, Shelley, and other romantic poets had been saying when she read their works. Beyond that, something in the relationship she shared with Erik seemed markedly different than all those who had come before. Was it his passion? Perhaps. The topics they discussed, for which they both held interest? Could be. Whatever it was that made her love him, she was enjoying this, the first true romance of her life.

Nothing inappropriate had passed between them, and her heart had not spoken up to her that she should escape any embrace they shared. He was a passionate man, of course, but was not terribly affectionate with her…that was not in his character. For this she was thankful, as she did not feel herself to be an overly affectionate person either. He would save a kiss for the occasions when he was particularly charmed by something she said or did, or for moments of deep intimacy, when they discussed topics that involved sharing much of oneself.

One thing she had cherished over the month since her birthday was the evening walks. They would not be long, like the first night they walked, but they would talk quietly as they took in the grounds and gardens of the estate. It was these nights, Erik holding her hand and his deep voice peacefully caressing her ears that calmed Anna day after day. She felt a profound comfort in his arms, and though at first his presence was cold and mysterious, she now felt she had found both a very good friend and a kind, gentle suitor.

While they did not demonstrate their relationship around Marie, it was obvious to her that they were increasingly comfortable with one another.

Erik

While he had been waiting in the carriage, Erik took some of the time pulling back the curtains covering the side window and peeking out at what was happening around him.

Once he felt he had observed as much as he could, he leaned back in his seat and thought of a conversation he and Anna had the week previous. Always a rather philosophical soul, he had taken to thinking of the events of so many years ago, and the actions which Marie´s mother had been willing to perform for him. He was glad he had not made her leave Raoul for dead, as the life they would have shared would be a half-life, not genuine. He had commented, "I can never repay Christine for what she did. She gave me hope. Her kindness taught me that something good does exist in the world. I could not have learned such a thing any other way. She was willing to sacrifice herself for me. I could never make her do that."

Anna´s response to the truth of his origins had pleased him, as did most of the things she did. When he revealed that he had lived the majority of his life in the opera house, Anna seemed greatly saddened, and her words of comfort were genuine, though she herself had not experienced anything remotely similar in her own life.

Second chances in life are very rare, but as each passing day brought him more and more happiness, Erik felt as if he were a very fortunate man. He had not expected, however, that his dark past would become of use to him in the coming weeks.