"...Mm, Master…am I pleasing you, Master...? Does it feel good...?"
"...Tira…oh, Tira, it feels good...it feels very good..."
Is that why I do this? Because it feels good?
Siegfried looked down at the woman writhing passionately beneath him.
Is that the only reason? Is there no deeper meaning behind this? Is there no purpose, no significance...no love?
"Master..." Tira gasped.
Do I love her? Do I love Tira? Is that why I wish to make love to her?
Does that mean I love Ivy?
Or Sophitia?
"Master!" Tira squealed, wrapping her legs tighter around him.
Should I even do this with someone I haven't sworn my eternal love and devotion to?
What does it matter? She satisfies you. Whether or not you love her, she loves you with all her heart, and all you had to do was tell her to.
No...it does matter.
Why?
Because love...love is important.
...Says the man who murdered his own father.
No! It wasn't murder...I didn't mean to...
That's right. Shirk responsibility for your sins and ignore them. Experiencing pleasure is so much better than remembering your crimes, isn't it?
No. There has to be another reason I do this...
...Do you love Tira?
I don't know.
Do you love anyone?
Of course I do.
Who?
...I love...I love...Siegfried froze. His eyes widened.
Ah, it is quite apparent how much love matters to you.
"...Master?"
Siegfried looked down again. "...Y-Yes, Tira?"
"Is something wrong?"
Siegfried managed to force a smile. "No...nothing is wrong." Siegfried continued.
I need Tira.
...Yet you don't love her, do you?
---
Love. What does it mean?
Siegfried was walking alone down the streets of a Japanese city. He and his group had stopped there to sleep - but he had been unable to do so. Usually, he could easily fall asleep basking in the warm afterglow of a night spent with Tira, but that familiar comforting feeling was not to be found tonight. There were too many questions on his mind. Questions he'd brushed away in the past, but found himself unable to avoid now.
Do you love anyone?
I make love to Tira. She means something to me. ...But I don't consider her someone special. She is...Tira. That woman who has been at my side for a long time now. That woman who is eager to satisfy any desire I have. That is how I see her.
Ivy? A comrade. Cassandra? Another comrade. Sophitia? ...I am...intensely attracted to Sophitia. I believe that there is strong chemistry between us. I think she feels the same way toward me. But we have never acted on these feelings beyond embracing in passion. Beyond that, it may be impossible for there to be anything between the two of us - she was supposed to belong to another. He betrayed her - but they are more than even now, and she could take him back, should she choose to. Has she forgiven him? I do not know. I do not know if I love Sophitia.
Who else is there? My mother? My father? ...I remember loving the both of them dearly. I loved my mother too much to show myself to her as stained with sin as I am. I still love my father, even in death. Yet I never see them. My quest is one of redeeming my worth so that I may face and honor the both of them – yet I have spoken to neither in years.
It is true. I do not love anyone.
Siegfried felt a chill. The night air was becoming cool. There was a building nearby - it appeared to be an inn of sorts. Seeking refuge from the cold, Siegfried walked inside. He was almost sleepwalking - as his mind was entirely focused on his current dilemma, he paid little attention to the world around him; and simply let his body go through the motions required to be led to a warm, comforting place where he could think. He idly handed the innkeeper a few gold pieces to have a room - there was no need for speech or an exchange of proper currency, as both knew that the other did not speak their language, and gold was valuable anywhere. A Japanese woman in an elegant dress bowed before Siegfried, and gestured for him to follow her. He followed her, and she led him to a room. The room was slightly larger than an average inn's room, but its most curious aspect was that the furniture it contained was bizarrely shaped, even for a foreign land.
Siegfried paid the room no heed, and simply sat down on the most normal-looking piece of furniture to think.
Why is love important?
When I was alone, I was desperately sad. Now that I have the company of others, I am far more content with my life. The company of others improves life so much. Deep bonds that go far beyond friendship are some of the most special things that there can be. To not have those bonds with anyone at all...I can think of nothing sadder.
Do I truly love no one?
Sophitia...I admire her. I feel attached to her. I care about her - even respect her. But...is my bond to her so strong that I would call it love?
...No.
My deepest bond...is with Tira. I take her for granted and use her selfishly - but if I were to lose her to another, I would be devastated. I cannot go long without her embrace. She has been with me longer than the others, and the bond between us only continues to deepen, no matter how I treat her. Tira...I should be so much kinder to Tira. She deserves better treatment than I give her. ...She deserves better than me.
The door to the room slid open. The person opening it was on their knees - it was a woman. In his short time in this country, Siegfried had seen a great number of elegant dresses, but few were as stunning as the red, long-sleeved kimono that this woman wore. She rose to her feet, took one step into the room, turned, returned to her knees, and then slid the door shut - she was adhering to extremely formal traditions. Siegfried wondered exactly who this woman was. As she rose to her feet again and turned to face him, he got a better look at her face – her features were far different than that of the other women he had seen in this country; she was no native of this land, despite her apparent mastery of their traditions and dress. She was European, although from which part, he could not guess. She was stunningly beautiful - as much so as Sophitia. Her pale, clear skin looked soft and supple, her breasts were large and pleasing, and what he could see of her legs nearly made his mouth water. She seemed to be without a single imperfection. Lust stirred within him again.
The woman bowed deeply in his direction, and smiled at him - coyly, seductively. "You may call me Setsuka." She said in perfect, unaccented English.
"...W-Why are you here?" Siegfried asked.
The woman - until now, the perfect picture of gracefulness and elegance - seemed concerned. "...I am here to keep you company, my lord."
Company? In what sort of inn are the visitors sent company?
Siegfried would remember being genuinely puzzled for a few moments before finally realizing the painfully obvious.
...I am in a brothel.
He lightly began to shake his head. How did I end up in - did I do this on purpose or - I should have looked where I was going before when I -
"Is something wrong, my lord?" The woman asked. "Do I not fit your tastes?" Her second sentence was said with little emotion, as if the line was rehearsed, one she had repeated dozens of times.
"I - that's - " Siegfried finally regained his composure. "I am sorry. I did not realize that this place was a..." He did not feel comfortable finishing the sentence.
The woman snickered.
In that instant, her perfect image of beauty and poise was shattered. Realizing this, the woman let go of all previous inhibitions. She tossed her head back and laughed hard.
When she regained her composure, she was not as 'composed' as before - she let her posture slouch slightly, the modest and demure look on her face was replaced with a smirk, and her voice had lost its softness. "Haha...I'm sorry. This is the first time anything like this has happened. It's hilarious."
Siegfried was without words, after seeing the woman go through such a transformation.
"Here I was, ready for the rich foreigner who was doubtlessly expecting the best we had to offer, and it turned out...sorry."
The realization had been slowly creeping up in Siegfried's mind, and escaped through his lips. "...Are you a..." He stopped himself before he could finish - but it did no good.
"A prostitute?" Setsuka asked. "Oh, you have it wrong. This place isn't an average brothel. It's high-class."
"High-class...?"
"I don't know what the outside world is like, so I don't know if there are equivalents off of this island - but this isn't a place for street prostitutes. It's a place for courtesans."
Courtesans. Prostitutes with more purpose than sex - companionship. Someone else quickly came to Siegfried's mind.
"I am called an oiran." Setsuka explained. "Consider me a high-class courtesan. Only the wealthiest and highest-ranking men can hope to patronize women like me." She said, almost too smugly.
Siegfried was beginning to feel the strings of annoyance plucking at him. This woman - so brash and smug about being a fancy prostitute. Has she no shame? Perhaps this is merely the way this culture works...
"I don't work here - I travel, selling my services when I need money. Most of the time, I don't need to sleep with anyone - often, just my presence is enough."
The woman seemed less smug now - she was simply stating facts about her worth and value in this society. Still, Siegfried would have found it far easier to accept what she was saying, had she not dropped her formal act and shown her true, casual self to him.
"I hope that explains everything." She said. "...You're awfully quiet - is there a problem?"
Yes, I'm sitting in front of a whore. Siegfried faked politeness. "...I'm terribly sorry. You are a highly valued worker, and I have taken up your time because of my mistake."
Setsuka waved her arm as if to dismiss his words. "Don't worry. I don't mind. If you want to get your money back and leave, I'll explain the situation to the mistress if you don't speak the language." She stretched, and reclined on one of the oddly-shaped couches. "Then again, I think you should consider yourself lucky - you have a very talented woman at your disposal, and all paid for." She winked. "I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't enjoy it."
Setsuka's last sentence aggravated Siegfried. It was bad enough that she was a prostitute - but did she have to flaunt that she enjoyed her job as well?
You have no business sleeping with women you do not love, especially prostitutes. You will ask for your money back and leave.
"I am sorry." Siegfried said. "I really should not be here. I know it must be considered wasteful to not...use a woman like yourself, but I have no right to sleep with anyone right now."
The woman arched an eyebrow. "Like I said, I'm more than a prostitute. I'm a lot brighter than I look, you know – we oiran are trained to be excellent conversationalists, and smart enough to keep up discussions with philosophers."
"Once again, I am sorry." Siegfried said. "The only matter currently concerning me is not one that...a person such as yourself would be able to understand."
The woman's eyebrows moved again - this time revealing a slight degree of offense. "Why is that?"
Siegfried's annoyance had reached an intolerable level - he could no longer stand this woman, so casual, so smug, so sure of herself. As a rule, he aimed never to provoke conflict nor add to it - but tonight, for one of the few times in his life, he broke that rule.
"I could only discuss my matter with someone capable of feeling love." He said bluntly.
All emotion disappeared from the woman's face. She stared at him blankly - but there was something behind her eyes. A cold look - a spiteful look. Siegfried quickly realized that he'd crossed the line. He'd insulted a woman who was considered valuable and whom had devoted her life to a service few could provide. Yet, the woman did not chastise him for his lack of respect - instead, she did something quite different.
She ran her hands over her face. "Look at me." She said. "I am not Japanese. I don't know what I am. I don't know where I came from, or what nationalities my parents were. When I was a little girl, other people hated me. I was shunned and looked upon with disdain because of my appearance. I grew up with no family to turn to, and exposed to nothing but hateful words and violence all my life. To deal with it all, I simply closed my heart to the world."
Is she explaining to me why she cannot feel love? Because she closed her heart to the world as a child?
"Eventually, I ran away from the orphanage. Young and alone, I surely would have died - if it weren't for him. A man found me, and took me in. He let me live with him. Took care of me. Even gave me my name. If not for him, my heart would have stayed shut forever - but his kindness gradually opened my heart."
Then her heart...is open?
"Many people still looked upon me with cold eyes, but I learned to ignore them and let nothing trouble me. Our life was modest - very modest. But I managed to settle into a fulfilling life.
"Then, one day, my caretaker told me to deliver a letter to a companion who lived far away. It took me many months to travel there. After a long journey, I finally found my caretaker's friend. He was an old martial artist who ran a dojo in a small village. After he read the letter, he asked me many times if I would stay and live there with him. I realized what had happened - my caretaker feared that he was going to die, and had sent me to live with his friend.
"I could not bear the thought of my caretaker being dead. I hurried back home. I found him...I found him on the floor of our home, covered in grave injuries, and nearly dead.
"I managed to take him to a doctor and save his life. No matter how many times I asked him, he would not reveal to me how he received his wounds. I was certain, though, that he had lost in a duel. He had worked as a bodyguard, and his injuries prevented him from wielding a sword ever again - this meant the end of our income.
"He tried to behave as he always had, but he couldn't hide it - he was dying. But..." Setsuka seemed to falter for a moment before continuing. "...He showered me with something that I had never experienced before...love. Overwhelming love. Our modest lifestyle could not afford luxuries, yet still he bought me this." She said, holding out an arm to display her elegant kimono. "My feelings for him grew stronger than I ever thought possible. It was not fondness for him as a father, nor was it reverence for him as a master of martial arts - it was until many years later, after his death, that I came to recognize the nature of the feelings that had taken hold in my heart. I finally understood what it meant...to be in love."
Siegfried felt ashamed. Not only had he insulted an amazing woman, he had entirely misjudged her.
"On his deathbed...he told me the name of the man who injured him." Setsuka said. She looked away for a moment. "...A few minutes ago, I said to you that I travel the land. ...I do not travel..."
She turned her eyes towards Siegfried's again. "...I hunt."
The look in her eyes was not the cold, spiteful look from before - it was the look of a predator. The look of a hawk before diving from the sky to snatch its prey from the ground. As Siegfried gazed into Setsuka's eyes, he saw hate - loathing - fury.
Setsuka seemed to calm down. The hate in her eyes faded, but did not entirely subside. Siegfried chose now to speak up.
"...I'm sorry." He said. "...I'm sorry for misjudging you. I'm sorry for the suffering you've endured, and I'm sorry for the loss of the man you loved."
For a short while, Setsuka was silent. Then, she spoke. "...Forgiven."
Siegfried looked down. "...I have a feeling that...you may actually be far more suited than I thought to assist me with the matter that troubles me."
"Mm?" Setsuka asked, lifting her head up.
"I - my problem is - I - " I can't stop having sex with women? She's going to think I'm joking. And after a serious speech like that, she would hate me if I tried to be funny.
"Yes?" Setsuka asked.
"...I don't understand love. I want to ask you - how can you sleep with people whom you do not love?"
Siegfried mentally slapped himself. Fool. That question was far too personal. That might have been even worse than telling a joke.
Setsuka casually reclined in her seat. "Well..." She began. Siegfried perked up upon realizing that he had in fact not made a grievous error. "...When my caretaker lost his ability to procure income...I began to sell my body for money. I only intended to do it once - but I could not help but find it...enjoyable." A light blush came upon her cheeks, and she smiled slightly.
Siegfried found himself feeling a little queasy.
"My entire life, men had scorned me, called me ugly - but there were a few, a scant few - who found me beautiful. Who thought I was a goddess!" She said, blushing deeper and smiling more. "When those men lusted for me, for the first time in my life, I thought I was being loved by others. I enjoyed letting them embrace me - have their way with me - use my body to obtain ecstasy. It was...I can only call the experience flattering. To know that someone wants your body that much, to know that someone is enjoying your body that much. ...After the first time, I did it again. And again. I always charged - but just the sensation was more than enough. It felt good...physically, and psychologically."
She turned her eyes on him again. "I really see no problem with casually making love to any partner you choose. If it feels good, then do it - that's what I believe."
"...Does love have any place at all in sex?" Siegfried asked.
"Oh, of course!" Setsuka replied. "I can't imagine how amazing it would be to have sex with someone you're in love with. Sex with strangers feels good - but if there's a strong emotional bond between the two of you, it must feel amazing."
"So, you are saying that love is only something that makes sex feel better?" Siegfried asked.
Setsuka shook her head. "No, not just because it makes sex better – love makes all of life so much better. Knowing love, understanding love, being in love - it's the best experience the world has to offer." She directed her eyes away, sadly. "...I only wish I could experience it with him now that I understand it."
"How does one gain an understanding of love?" Siegfried asked.
"I think it's something that everyone finds out on their own." Setsuka said. "Even if someone explained it to you perfectly, it'd mean nothing to you personally unless you felt it yourself."
Siegfried nodded. "...I...I understand it much better now. Thank you...thank you, Setsuka."
Setsuka smiled. "Of course. It's my job." She cracked her neck, becoming casual again. "Is that it? Anything else?" She gave him a wry smile, and arched her back to accentuate her chest. "Remember, you have an oiran at your disposal."
Siegfried felt his cheeks grow warm, and looked away. "P-please! I'm...trying to avoid temptation right now."
Setsuka blinked. "Avoid temptation, hmm...? You know, you're becoming a more and more interesting character. I'd like to learn more about you, lord...I'm sorry, did you ever tell me your name?"
"Siegfried." He said.
"Yes. Well, then, Lord Siegfried, why exactly are you trying to avoid temptation?"
"...I used to have restraint. Self-discipline. But...I am unable to restrain myself from pursuing women. No matter how hard I try, I simply cannot stop myself once a woman..." Siegfried had never spoken these thoughts out loud, much less to a woman. His cheeks growing hotter, he looked away out of embarrassment.
He heard Setsuka giggle. "But my, Lord Siegfried, you are cute." She said. "Unable to resist a beautiful woman, hmm? Mind if I test your claims?"
"Please, no!" Siegfried begged.
Setsuka laughed. "Cute, all right. So, besides a showing lack of restraint, can you think of anything else that's bad about sleeping around?"
"...I feel as if...I am disloyal." Siegfried said. "I have not pledged myself to any one woman. I feel as if I am untrustworthy and unfaithful."
"No reason to feel that way if you don't have a single lover." Setsuka said. "Although I must say that you're quite a mature man."
If you think that's surprising, you should learn a few other things about me. Siegfried thought.
"Well, is there anyone special in your life?" Setsuka asked.
Siegfried fidgeted. "I'm not sure."
"Not sure? Oh, boy. Let me get comfortable."
"There's Tira...and Sophitia...Cassandra likes me, although I cannot return her feelings...and Ivy...I think that Ivy is like you. She just enjoys the sex."
"Hang on for a moment - how many are there?"
"Just the four."
"Just the four." Setsuka repeated. "Alright. How did you wind up with four love interests?"
"Ivy and Cassandra are out of the question." Siegfried said. "As for how we all wound up traveling together...that's an extremely long tale."
"Traveling together? A man and his harem of four women?"
"P-please, you're embarrassing me." Siegfried begged.
Setsuka laughed. "So cute! But really, I need to hear the story behind this one."
"...I'm on a quest for something. Tira...is dependent on others. She became dependent on me, and so she joined my quest. Ivy is on a quest for the same thing I am. So is Sophitia, and Cassandra."
"Now that's odd - what are you all questing for?"
Siegfried sighed. "I really doubt you'd believe me if I told you."
"Oh, I've heard and seen some things I never would have believed were true. Try me."
Siegfried took that as a challenge.
"When I was a young man, I grasped the hilt of a blade known as Soul Edge. It took possession of me, and used my body to cause countless massacres - "
"Oh, come on, be serious." Setsuka said. "It's nice of me to lend you my ears, so be honest."
Siegfried's shoulders sagged. He felt hopeless. He had no proof with him. He could show her the Soul Embrace, of course, but he wasn't willing to go that far for her, as much as he liked the friendly courtesan.
"Never mind, then." He said. "We're all looking for...a way to destroy two swords. I'll leave it at that."
Setsuka kept her eyes on Siegfried for a few moments, as if judging him. "...And having love affairs at the same time?"
"Sadly, yes." Siegfried sighed. "We all get along, although the sex complicates things. In particular, Sophitia has a husband, Cassandra is her sister, and Tira - well, let's just say that Tira is something of a personal courtesan."
Setsuka stared blankly at Siegfried. "...Lord Siegfried." She said, putting emphasis on the title of respect. "I'm not that familiar with your sense of humor, but already I believe that - "
"I'm telling the truth!" Siegfried hissed. Silence fell between the two of them. It's over. There's nothing more to be done here.
He stood up. "Setsuka...thank you very much for your time. I believe that you are an outstanding companion and eloquent conversationalist - " Oh, what the hell, I'm never going to see her again " - as well as a stunningly beautiful woman. I once again apologize for misjudging you in the beginning, and thank you for all the advice you've given me. I believe that we've reached the end of what we can accomplish here tonight - the subject of sex is touchy for me right now, and my life is beyond the realm of believable, so we will not be engaging in either of your areas of expertise." He returned to her the deep bow that she gave him when they first me. "I feel honored to have met you. I wish you luck on your search for - "
"Wait." Setsuka said, standing up. "You're serious? You're leaving?"
Siegfried hesitated. "...As I said, despite how attractive you are, I do not wish to have sex tonight, and since you will never believe my life's story, then there is nothing more that can be accomplished here tonight."
Setsuka gazed at Siegfried in an almost mournful way. "...You were telling...the truth?"
Siegfried nodded. "I have no reason to lie. I wouldn't disrespect you with lies."
Setsuka seemed to consider his words. "Why are you in Japan?"
"We have come as far East as possible in search of the most potent purification arts available in the hopes that we can purify...something of great evil."
Setsuka rubbed her chin. "And you're four foreigners who don't speak the language or know a thing about the customs?"
Siegfried flinched. "Yes."
"Well, then. You need a guide. You can pay me in money or sex. Your choice."
...What?
Setsuka smiled. "I'll throw in some free therapy, as well, since it seems like you've got a lot of baggage."
Siegfried was having difficulty standing up. "You're proposing - joining us? And being our guide during our tenure in Japan?"
Setsuka shrugged, inadvertently (or intentionally?) making her breasts wobble slightly. "Admit it. You'd like having me around."
"Would you really give up the life of an oiran to travel with us?"
"You're traveling across Japan on a hunt - so am I. You need someone like me, and, well, to be quite honest, you are the most interesting person I have ever met in my life, Lord Siegfried." Setsuka said with a grin. "You're cute in appearance and manner, I enjoy your questions, and I'd like to verify if your claims are true."
Siegfried had no rebuttal. She was right.
A smile involuntarily spread across Siegfried's lips. "...I'd be glad to have you join us, Setsuka."
---
Siegfried and Setsuka walked out of the brothel together. Setsuka explained to the mistress in Japanese that she would be taking a permanent leave. Siegfried could not understand what she was saying, but judging by the mistress' facial expression and the motions that Setsuka was making towards him, she was saying something along the lines of This big strong foreigner was such an amazing lover, I am leaving to be his sex slave forever.
The two of them walked back to the inn, conversing with one another about their lives and the topic of love - Siegfried had never had such conversations before in his life. He truly felt that Setsuka had been an amazing find, and enjoyed her company thoroughly.
By the time the two of them reached the inn, it was morning. The four women were gathered on the ground floor of the inn, preparing to organize a search for Siegfried when he walked in with Setsuka. Their assumptions were unanimous - "He went out and bought another sex slave." Siegfried and Setsuka had already prepared a simple alibi, however:
With the welfare of their mission clouding his mind, Siegfried had been unable to sleep, and had gone out in the middle of the night to search for a guide to lead them through Japan.
"Despite our fearless leader's reputation, I might have bought that story - except for one detail you forgot about." Ivy said. "I don't know much about the customs in this country, but I do know one thing about that sash she's wearing around her waist - except in martial arts, obi are always tied at the back - courtesans and prostitutes wear obi tied at the front for easy removal and retying."
Setsuka blushed and sent her hands to her obi - just as Ivy said, it was tied in the front, giving away her profession.
Siegfried and Setsuka apologized for their half-lie, and Siegfried told the truth:
With personal matters clouding his mind, Siegfried had been unable to sleep, and, while attempting to rent a room at an inn simply to get out of the cold, had accidentally checked into a brothel for courtesans. After explaining the misunderstanding to Setsuka, he had explained his group's current situation to her, after which she had volunteered to be their guide.
Although the girls couldn't imagine Siegfried walking into a brothel on accident, and suspected the two of sleeping with one another, they bought the new story.
Surprisingly, the women didn't have much a problem with Setsuka's profession; being a courtesan was apparently much more worthy of respect than being a prostitute.
"So," Tira asked, "you're like a slave who has a new Master every night?"
Setsuka cringed, but nodded. "You might say that."
"Siegfried." Ivy said. "How much does she know? It might not be wise to leak our purpose out to too many people."
"Sorry." Setsuka said with one of her sly grins. "No secrets - that's part of my contract."
The group agreed that it was worth it. All six of them went upstairs to Siegfried and Tira's room, where the Soul Embrace was being kept. Once seeing it for herself and hearing the testimonies of 5 people, Setsuka easily believed them.
"This is incredible." She gasped. "I never thought I'd be involved in something like this."
When Siegfried finally revealed to Setsuka that he once had been known by the name of Nightmare, her reaction was shocking.
"What? Y-you're Nightmare?"
"I was." Siegfried corrected.
"The man I'm looking for - I have few clues to follow - " Setsuka said, speaking quickly and almost stuttering. "First of all, I know his name – it's...Heishiro Mitsurugi. I know that he is a wandering swordsman who challenges other swordsmen throughout the lands he travels to, and that he is searching for a way to defeat the Tanegashima rifles. And last, I know that no one has seen him in Japan since he crossed the sea several years ago in search of a powerful swordsman...a swordsman by the name of Nightmare. My plan...my plan was to track down the one named Nightmare in order to find Mitsurugi...and, Siegfried, it was you all along!"
Siegfried was eager to provide assistance, but could do little to help. His memories as Nightmare were foggy at best, and he had no memory of whom he had fought or whom he had killed. He could not tell Setsuka if he had ever met this Mitsurugi, or if he was still alive.
Setsuka's shoulders sank. She was disappointed, but it would not stop her from aiding them. Her easygoing personality and charisma quickly earned her the friendship of the other four women, and she was inducted into Siegfried's group that very morning.