DISCLAIMER: I do not own Twilight. All rights are reserved to Mrs. Meyer.

I mean no disrespect.

Chapter one

I could hear Bella's truck approaching. The engine roared unlike any other car in the street. I should really try to convince her to let me buy her a new car, though I knew up front she would never accept it. I smiled and waited for her to turn onto the parking lot.

After six months she was still in love with me and that knowledge was still capable of making me soar.

She wanted me.

I was nowhere near capable of leaving her. Despite the daily danger I posed on her life, I couldn't bring myself to tell her goodbye. Not yet. Not while her yes still amazed me every day.

Her face was sad when she drove up, but when her eyes met mine she lit up, wonder clearly visible in her eyes. I sighed in contentment.

She's going to be a poor sport about today.

I could see what her vision had shown her and I knew she was right, but I already knew this. I briefly smiled at Alice.

"Told you," I muttered under my breath.

Bella slammed the door to her Chevy truck, causing a handful of rust shatters to fall to the asphalt. She walked slowly towards us and I could see in her face what Alice had already seen in her vision.

Bella had warned me up front that she didn't want to make a fuss about her birthday, but I couldn't keep Alice from planning a party anyway. I grimaced as I thought back about the last discussion on the subject.

"Come on, Edward. Please?" Alice had asked me.

"No, Alice. Bella doesn't even want me to congratulate her, a party is out of the question."

"Aw, come on kid. Give Alice her fun. The last real birthday we had was mine, and that was in 1935." Emmet interjected.

I grumbled when Esme walked in, thinking about the party plans they had already discussed.

"I can't stop you guys, can I?"

Alice shook her head and I cold see in her vision that she knew what I was going to say next. I threw up my hands and sighed in exasperation. Bella was going to give me heel for this. I got a bit angry with myself for agreeing to something that would cause discord between us, but there was nothing that I could do about it.

Bella had almost reached us and Alice skipped to her side.

"Happy birthday Bella!"

"Shh," Bella hissed.

Bella's face fell and she quickly looked around the parking lot, probably making sure no one had heard. Alice ignored her, as expected.

"Do you want your presents now or later?" she asked Bella as they walked over to me.

"No presents," she mumbled.

Not fair! Alice thought as she took in Bella's expression.

"Okay..." she said. "Later then. Did you like the scrapbook your mom sent you? And the camera from Charlie?"

Bella sighed and her sweet breath filled the air. I inhaled deeply, enduring the burn.

"Yeah. They're great." she answered Alice, without too much enthusiasm in her voice.

"I think it's a nice idea. You're only a senior once, might as well document the experience."

"How many times have you been a senior?"

Alice shrugged slightly. "That's different."

They were now at my side and I reached out for Bella's hand. She quickly obliged and I softly squeezed hers. The warmth shot through me and left it's familiar, but still amazing, tingle behind. When her eyes met mine, her heart stuttered and I couldn't help but smile. My eyes were pulled to her mouth and I lightly traced the shape of her lips with my free hand.

Get a room. Alice teased. I ignored her thoughts, I didn't want to hear her mockery. I got enough of that from Emmet on a daily basis.

"So," I started. "As discussed I'm not allowed to wish you a happy birthday, is that correct?"

"Yes. That is correct."

"Just checking." I replied as I ran my hand through my hair. "You might have changed your mind. Most people seem to enjoy things like birthdays and gifts."

Alice laughed. "Of course you'll enjoy it. Every one is supposed to be nice to you today and give you your way, Bella. What's the worst thing that can happen?"

"Getting older." Bella answered in a slightly shaky voice.

I gritted my teeth. This was exactly what I was expecting and it hurt me more than I imagined, hearing the pain in her voice.

"Eighteen isn't very old,"Alice said. "Don't women usually wait until they're twenty-nine to get upset over birthdays."

"It's older than Edward." Bella muttered.

I sighed. What was she thinking? What had caused this train of thought? I was even more annoyed with myself for not staying with her tonight than I already was. Going hunting was, of course, important. But right now I wanted nothing more that to have been there when she woke up that morning, To see for myself what had caused this mood.

"Technically, just by one little year though." Alice added in a light voice. "So what time will you be at the house?"

Bella took in Alice's expression and her eyes betrayed her worry.

Uh oh, this is going to be difficult. You have to help me out here. Alice peered at me from her peripheral vision.

"I didn't know I had plans to be there."

"Oh be fair, Bella! You aren't going to ruin all our fun like that are you?"

Yes she will. I thought to myself.

"I thought my birthday was about what I want."

I pretended I didn't hear her and turned to Alice. "I'll get her from Charlie's right after school."

"I have to work," Bella reminded us.

No you don't. You should know better than that, with Alice in charge.

"You don't actually," Alice said. "I already spoke to Mrs. Newton about it. She's trading your shifts. She said to tell you 'Happy Birthday'"

"I-I can't come over. I, well, I haven't watched Romeo and Juliet yet for English."

Alice snorted "You have Romeo and Juliet memorized."

A little help here, Edward.

"But Mr. Berty said we needed to see it performed to fully appreciate it- that's how Shakespeare intended it to be presented."

I rolled my eyes. She was relentless, but I loved her for trying to stand her ground. I knew it wasn't easy for her to ignore Alice's pleading eyes.

"You've already seen the movie." Alice accused.

"But not the nineteen-sixties version. Mr. Berty said it was the best."

Alice was fed up and glared at Bella.

"This can be easy, or this can be hard, Bella, but one way or the other-"

I could see where Alice was headed so I decided it was time to intervene.

"Relax, Alice. If Bella wants to watch a movie, then she can. It's her birthday."

"So, there" Bella added, relief clearly visible in her eyes.

I fought to keep the smile form my face. She wasn't getting out of it that easily.

"I'll bring her over around seven." I continued. "That will give you more time to set up."

Alice laughed. Thank you. You're the best brother ever.

"Sounds good. See you tonight, Bella! It'll be fun , you'll see."

Alice smiled and her thoughts were spinning with all the things she had planned to do for the party. She lightly kissed Bella's cheek and then headed for her first class. At least Alice was happy. I wasn't too sure about Bella, though.

"Edward, please-"

I stopped her plea by placing my finger against her warm lips.

"Let's discuss it later. We're going to be late for class."

Bella was extraordinarily quiet all morning and I guessed she was trying to figure out ways to get out of her birthday party tonight. I was a bit afraid of what tonight might have in store. Bella had been so tenacious about her birthday.

She had made me promise not to buy her a present. She threatened to refuse it, no matter what it was. I was hurt by that, because I wanted to give her something as a token of my love for her. I had planned on buying her a bracelet, or a necklace, but she didn't want me to spend money on her. When I had asked her why, she had mumbled something about tipping the scales. The sadness in her face made me swallow my questions.

I remembered discussing this problem with Alice. She had suggested I ignored Bella's request and just buy her something I wanted to give her. She expected Bella to cave the second she saw the present, but I refused to go against her wishes.

"Well, she only told you not to buy her something, right?" Alice had eventually asked me.

"Yes."

"Well, give her something you don't have to spend money on."

The answer seemed so simple, but how could I put my love into a present without spending money on it? I had mulled it over that night, while I watched Bella sleep from the rocking chair. While I was thinking I hummed her lullaby to myself and just when I was halfway through, the idea popped into my head. I would give her my lullaby. I would record my music for her. She'd love that.

The day passed in it's regular fashion and around lunch time I had decided to go home with Bella. I wanted to make sure that glum expression that passed over her face every now and again would fade. Besides, if I spent the afternoon with her, she couldn't sneak out to avoid going to the party at my house.

When the last bell had sounded I walked Bella to her car, as usual. I opened the passenger door for her. The clenched her teeth and crossed her arms, her eyes darkened ever so slightly. It was raining and I knew she hated that, but she didn't move to get in the car.

"It's my birthday, don't I get to drive?" she asked, her voice betraying her indignation.

"I'm pretending it's not your birthday, just as you wished."

"If it's not my birthday, then I don't have to go to your house tonight..."

"All right." I shut the door and walked over to the other side to open the door on the driver's side. "Happy birthday."

"Shh."

I let her clamber in and then went to the other side to take my place next to her. I was already cringing at the thought of her slow driving. If I had my way, we'd be at her house in mere minutes, but I decided I'd rather let her drive than giving her her way and let her avoid the party. My family would never let me hear the end of it, if I budged on this one. Alice most of all.

I turned my attention to the radio and shook my head. I was glad my brothers and sisters had decided to get Bella a new radio, because this was ridiculous.

"You radio has horrible reception," I muttered. Trying to draw a reaction form her, knowing at the same time that it would be less then four hours until it was replaced.

She frowned. "You want a nice stereo? Drive your own car." she muttered in a harsh voice. I pressed my lips together.

My furious little kitten. She was so adorable when she was angry, but allowing myself to smile right now, would only make things worse. My hands tingled, wanting to touch her, to smooth away the little pucker between her eyes. I wanted to take her face between my hands and lean in to touch my lips to hers. To feel their soft, silky, warmth. To breathe in her scent, to taste her scent on the back of my tongue.

When she finally parked in front of her house I leaned over and took her face between my hands, forcing myself to treat her a gently as possible. I wanted to make her smile, more than anything else. That look in her eyes made my stomach flip. It made me anxious to see her like this.

"You should be in a good mood, today of all days," I whispered.

"And if I don't want to be in a good mood," she asked and I felt her hot breath caress my face.

I lost myself in her eyes.

"Too bad," I murmured.

I leaned in, inhaling her lovely scent and lightly placed my lips against hers. I heard her heart splutter and she deliberately tried to even out her breathing, without too much success. I allowed myself to linger, revelling in the warmth that radiated from her lips into mine. The human inside me longed to pull her closer, to deepen the kiss. But the demon was also lusting for her blood.

Bella wrapped her arms around my neck and threw herself into the kiss. For less than a second I struggled to remain in control of myself. Bella always seemed to forget how dangerous this was for her, and while it worried me, it also made me feel like the luckiest man on earth. I smiled as I reached back to pull her hands from my neck.

"Be good, please," I whispered against her cheek.

I kissed her lightly and then crossed her arms over her stomach. Her heart was still pounding at a rate that had me worried. The warm scent of her blood swirled in the cab and my throat burned. Nothing I couldn't handle, though.

"Do you think I'll ever get better at this?" she asked in wonder. "That my heart might someday stop trying to jump out of my chest whenever you touch me?"

"I really hope not." I said, unable to hide the smugness I felt. I was thoroughly pleased that I still had this effect on her and that no matter how much time passed, that never changed.

She rolled her eyes at me. "Let's go watch the Capulets and Montagues hack each other up, all right?"

"Your wish, my command."

I lay on the couch as Bella started the movie. She sat down in front of me, after she had fast-forwarded the opening credits.

I wondered why she sat there on the edge; why she didn't lay down with me. Instead of asking her, I reached for her waist and pulled her close to me. I remembered that there was a blanket perched on the back of the couch, and I spread it over Bella so she would stay warm.

The entire front of my body was drenched in her warmth and I had to remind myself that this was supposed to be an innocent gesture. My human instincts were urgent, but I repressed them, by concentrating on the movie.

"You know, I 've never had much patience with Romeo."

"What's wrong with Romeo?" she asked. I could hear she was offended by my comment and I wondered, as always, what she was thinking.

"Well," I answered. "First of all, he's in love with this Rosalind, don't you think it makes him seem a little fickle? And then, a few minutes after their wedding, he kills Juliet's cousin. That's not very brilliant. Mistake after mistake. Could he have destroyed his own happiness any more thoroughly?"

"Do you want me to watch this alone?"

I slowly traced the length of her arm. "No." I said. "I'll mostly be watching you, anyway. Will you cry?"

"Probably. If I'm paying attention."

"I won't distract you, then." I said.

I couldn't help teasing her a little, so I kissed her hair and when I heard her heart stutter I knew I was distracting her. I smiled and started whispering Romeo's words into her ear.

I grinned as she started crying, when Juliet woke and found Romeo dead.

I remembered last spring. Alice and Jasper were waiting for me and Carlisle at the airport in Phoenix. I heard Alice's panicked thoughts before I even saw her.

Bella has gone to meet James! You have to run, Edward!

When I reached Alice and Jasper, she quickly filled me in and I rushed out the doors running flat out to reach Bella before James could hurt a hair on her head.

As I ran I thought of what I would do when I was too late. I couldn't live in a world without Bella, not for a day. So I thought of Carlisle's attempts and knew that they wouldn't work. For a moment I thought of asking my brothers to kill me, but discarded the thought almost immediately. They would never do that. Then I remembered the Volturi and I decided I would go to them, when needed.

"I do sort of envy him there." I blurted out as I dried her tears.

"She's very pretty." Bella replied.

What was she thinking? She couldn't possibly believe that I was envious of Juliet! Bella was far more beautiful than the actress on the screen. I grunted in disgust.

"I don't envy him the girl, just the ease of the suicide." I tried to keep my voice teasing, though I was dead serious about it. "You humans have it so easy! All you have to do is throw down one tiny vial of plant extracts..."

"What?" Bella asked, gasping in shock.

"It's something I had to think about once, and I knew form Carlisle's experience that it wouldn't be simple." I lost the lightness in my voice, but continued unable to stop myself. "I'm not even sure how many ways Carlisle tried to kill himself in the beginning...after he realized what he'd become..." I struggled to lighten my tone as I continued. "And he's still clearly still in excellent health."

She twisted in my arms to look at my face.

"What are you talking about? What do you mean, this something you had to think about once?"

"Last spring, when you were...nearly killed." The words ripped through me like a blade. I took a deep breath and pulled her a bit closer, to steady myself. "Of course I was trying to focus on finding you alive, but part of my mind was making contingency plans. Like I said, it's not as easy for me as it is for a human."

Bella's eyes glazed over momentarily, probably because she remembered that time. She absent-mindedly traced the scar James had left on her hand and then shook her head.

"Contingency plans?"

I internally kicked myself for bringing it up, but I had promised myself a long time ago I would be as truthful with Bella as possible. I stared at the dust motes dancing through the air

"Well, I wasn't going to live without you." Obviously, I amended in my head. "I wasn't sure how to do it – I knew Emmet and Jasper would never help...so I was thinking maybe I would go to Italy and do something to provoke the Volturi."

Bella stiffened in my arms.

"What's a Volturi," she demanded.

"The Volturi are a family. A very old, very powerful family of our kind. They are the closest thing our world has to a royal family, I suppose. Carlisle lived with them briefly in his early years, in Italy, before he settled in America – do you remember the story?"

"Of course I remember."

Her eyes glazed over again.

"Anyway, you don't irritate the Volturi," I continued, effectively dragging her from her thoughts. "Not unless you want to die, or whatever it is that we do."

Bella placed her hot hands on my face and held it with all her strength. Her eyes blazed, making it impossible for me to look away.

"You must never, never, never think of anything like that again! No matter what might ever happen to me, you are not allowed to hurt yourself!" Her voice was furious and anxious at the same time.

"I'll never put you in danger again, so it's a moot point."

"Put me in danger?!" She fumed, her anger gaining the upper hand. "I thought we'd established that all the bad luck is my fault? How dare you even think like that?"

Agony ripped across her face.

"What would you do, if the situation were reversed?" I asked her.

"That's not the same thing."

She still didn't think herself worthy of me and I chuckled.

"What if something did happen to you? Would you want me to go off myself?"

No! I felt a sharp pain ripple through me. It felt like my non existing heart was threatening to rip itself from my chest.

"I guess I see your point...a little," I admitted. "But what would I do without you?"

"Whatever you were doing before I came along and complicated your existence."

I sighed.

"You make it sound so easy." I murmured.

"It should be I'm not that interesting."

I wanted to object, but decided to drop it. The subject was depressing at today should be a happy day for Bella.

"Moot point," I simply said.

I heard the cruiser and Charlie's muted thoughts and I immediately sat up straight. I pulled Bella up and made sure she sat on the other side of the sofa.

"Charlie?"

I smiled at her. I could hear the cruiser pull up. Charlie's thoughts were muffled. He was content and he looked forward to seeing his daughter. And there was something else, close to anxiousness, but I couldn't really make it out.

Bella grabbed my hand and held it tightly, to prove that I wasn't allowed to let go.

Charlie walked in the door, the smell of pizza wafted from the box he was holding.

"He kids." He grinned. "I thought you like a break from cooking and washing dishes, for your birthday. Hungry?"

"Sure. Thanks, dad."

They moved into the kitchen and ate in silence. I remembered I had a job to do and that was get Bella to my house for her party tonight.

When they were done I turned to Charlie.

"Do you mind if I borrow Bella for the evening?"

I noticed Bella hopeful glance, but the general thought in Charlie's mind was relief. And I guessed I had already won.

"That's fine. The Mariners are playing the Sox tonight. So I won't be any kind of company... Here." he said before scooping up the camera he had given her and tossing it at Bella. The second the camera left his hand he realized it was a bad idea.

The camera bounced off the top of Bella's finger and tumbled to the floor. I had expected this and caught the camera before it shattered.

"Nice save." Charlie said. "If they're doing something fun at the Cullens' tonight, Bella, you should take some pictures. You know how your mother gets, she'll be wanting to see pictures faster than you can take them."

"Good idea, Charlie," I said, handing Bella the camera.

She immediately turned at me and snapped a picture. "It works," she noted.

"That's good." Charlie's face fell a little. "Hey, say hi to Alive for me. She hasn't been over in a while."

"It's been three days, dad," Bella replied. "I'll tell her."

Charlie had grown very fond of Alice and I was glad for it. It made things easier for me and Bella on occasion.

"Okay, you kids have fun tonight." He was halfway turned to the living room, anticipation in his mind. He obviously wanted to get to his game.

I smiled, glad I had won the tugging war with Bella. I took her hand to pull her to the front door.

When we reached her truck I opened the passenger door for her. I wasn't letting her drive twice in one day. I wouldn't be able to bear it. Besides, the darkness didn't limit my eyesight, but it did hers.

She surprised me when she, without arguing, got into the car.

As we headed out of town I urged her truck past it's natural speed limit. The old car groaned in protest, but I kept my foot on the gas paddle.

"Take it easy," Bella muttered.

"You know what you would love?" I asked her, unable to resist the chance to tease her about her car. "A nice little Audi coupe. Very quiet, lots of power..."

I expected Bella to argue and she didn't disappoint.

"There's nothing wrong with my truck. And speaking of expensive non essentials, if you know what's good for you, you didn't spend any money on birthday presents."

"Not a dime," I promised her.

"Good."

"Can you do me a favour?"

"That depends on what it is."

I sighed, she knew what I was going to ask and still she kept a reservation. She was being unfair and she knew it.

"Bella, the last real birthday any of us had, was Emmet's in 1935. Cut us a little slack, and don't be too difficult tonight. They're all very excited."

"Fine, I'll behave."

I remembered that Emmet and Rose were going to be present at the party and I felt guilty for not having said anything about it to Bella before. Rose still wasn't completely passed her petulant jealousy towards Bella, and that was obvious in the way she treated her. And I knew for a fact, that Bella was well aware of it.

"I probably should warn you..." I started.

"Please do."

"When I say they're all excited...I do mean all of them."

"Everyone?" Her eyes widened as my words sank in. "I thought Emmet and Rosalie were in Africa."

"Emmet wanted to be there," I explained.

"But...Rosalie."

Off course she was worried about that.

"I know, Bella, don't worry. She'll be on her best behaviour."

I could almost see what she was thinking in her big eyes. She was contemplating my news and probably didn't really like it. The little pucker appeared between her eyes and I felt the need to erase it, so I changed the subject.

"So, if you won't let me get you the Audi, isn't there anything you'd like for your birthday?"

"You know what I want," she whispered, looking up at me from under her lashes.

I frowned. This was not what I expected my question to lead to. I really didn't want to get into this discussion with her, again. Not today.

"Not, tonight, Bella. Please." I pleaded.

"Well, maybe Alive will give me what I want."

I growled, remembering Alice's vision clearly, and refusing to admit to myself that I wanted to keep her forever. I was not going to take her soul, her life away for her.

"This is not going to be your last birthday, Bella."

"That's not fair!"

She pushed out her lower lip in a sexy little pout. I clamped my teeth together to force myself not to get distracted by the human instincts that resurfaced and begged me to press my mouth to hers and pull her closer to me.

We arrived at the house then, giving me a chance to recollect myself.

A/N: I decided to cut the first chapter of the book in two, so I could get the first part uploaded sooner. I know it's very close to the actual text in New Moon, but that is necessary for the time while Edward and Bella are still together. I'll get more of my own thoughts into the next chapter. I'll update a.s.a.p.

Thank you for everyone who has already reviewed my preface. I hope you all enjoy the first chapter.