Disclaimer: I, unfortunately so, own nothing. All I can do is dream. Rights reserved to the wonderfull Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter three

Every ones thoughts were a mess, beyond words. Multiple thirsts raked up and down my throat. I was starting to lose control.

Jaspers mental hisses and growls were deafening and I had to fight the urge to cover my ears. Carlisle was the only one who's thoughts were calm and collected.

"Emmett, Rose, get Jasper outside," he ordered

Keep it together Edward, He urged.

"Come on, Jasper." I heard Emmet say.

I heard Jaspers struggle against Emmett's grip behind me. I held my breath, growling in warning as I hovered over Bella, taking a protective stance.

Emmettf was wrestling Jasper to the open door, which Esme was holding open. I could hear she wasn't breathing, just like the others.

Rosalie's smug thoughts entered my mind. Guess I was right huh, Edward? It's not safe for her to be around us. It's not natural to throw a party for our intended prey.

I forced myself to ignore her and I concentrated on Bella's eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," Esme said as she followed the others out the door.

The room was quiet, but I could still hear the others outside.

"Let me by, Edward," Carlisle whispered.

I didn't move.

You can trust me, Edward. You know I've dealt with this kind of thing before. She's bleeding. I need to treat the wound. Let me pass.

I slowly nodded and moved aside to give Carlisle space.

I watched him kneel down beside Bella and lean closer to examine the wound. I could see Bella struggle to compose her face.

I held my breath, so I wouldn't feel the burning thirst, but it also prevented me from telling her how sorry I was for putting her in danger, again. I was revolted with myself and I was trying to think of a way to keep Bella safe.

Alice came back into the room with a towel in her hands.

Edward, why is Bella's future all of a sudden clouded in uncertainty?

I shook my head lightly. I didn't want to talk about it while I wasn't certain what I was going to do.

Alice handed Carlisle the towel. "Here, Carlisle."

Carlisle shook his head. "Too much glass in the wound."

He gripped the table cloth and tore off a strip of fabric. As he twisted it on Bella's arm to make a tourniquet I could see Bella's face whiten and her eyes widen.

See looked like she was about to faint and I knew it was because of the smell of her flowing blood and again I wished I was able to breathe to tell her everything would be fine.

"Bella," Carlisle said. "Do you want me to drive you to the hospital or would you like me to take care of it here?"

I already knew her answer before she said it. She would do anything from keeping this from her father and when Carlisle took her to the hospital the news would surely reach Charlie.

"Here, please," she whispered.

Just like I expected.

"I'll get your bag," Alice said before she darted from the room.

I heard her rush upstairs to get Carlisle's bag and a light for him to work under.

Carlisle turned to me. "Let's take her to the kitchen table."

I need your help with that. He added.

I lifted Bella off the floor, while Carlisle kept the pressure on her wounds.

"How are you doing, Bella?" Carlisle asked, noting the paleness of her skin and the uneven thumping of her heart.

"I'm fine."

Liar!Both Carlisle and I thought at the same time.

Alice was already at the table when we walked in. She had placed Carlisle's bag and the lamp on the table.

I placed Bella in a chair and Carlisle took the other. I leaned over her, scared to leave her alone, even though I trusted Carlisle fully.

"Just go, Edward," Bella muttered.

"I can handle it," I replied, using up most of my air supply.

The bloodlust was slowly tearing down my defence and the monster roared loudly.

"You don't need to be a hero," Bella said. "Carlisle can fix me up without your help. Get some fresh air."

She was already trying to let me off the hook. Why was she so damn forgiving? I didn't deserve her, tonight was proof enough.

She winced when the injection needle pierced her skin.

"I'll stay," I insisted.

She looked annoyed now.

"Why are you such a masochist," she muttered.

I would've laughed under any other circumstances, but nothing seemed funny now. Not after I have put the one I loved in danger. Not when tonight was the best example of why we shouldn't be together.

"Edward," Carlisle interjected. "You may as well go find Jasper before he gets too far. I'm sure he's upset with himself, and I doubt he'll listen to anyone but you right now."

Bella's face lit up slightly. "Yes. Go find Jasper."

"You might as well do something useful," Alice added.

Her thoughts had been so quiet that I almost forgot she was in the room. I felt cornered and my strength to fight my inner demon was wavering.

I nodded and sprinted out of the room. I was running flat out before I hit the trees.

Cut Jazz, some slack. Alice called after me in her thoughts.

"We'll see," I muttered. She wouldn't be able to hear it, but I didn't care.

I picked up Jasper's scent and ran after it. As the seconds passed the revulsion I felt turned into pure rage.

How could he?! He tried to kill the girl I loved. A red haze drew up my eyes and I started growling when I heard his thoughts.

O god! What did I do?

Why can't I control myself?

What did I DO?

Edward should just kill me now.

When the last sentence ran through my head the red haze vanished as quickly as it had appeared.

I could also hear Rosalie and Emmett, who were at his side attempting to calm him down. I knew it was practically an impossible thing to do, because I felt the waves of self loathing, horror and guilt filling the air, so they must feel it too.

"Stop it Jasper. You didn't even touch the girl! Stop blaming yourself for something that didn't even happen," Emmett told him in a threatening voice.

I decided it was time for me to step in and talk to Jasper, alone.

"Em, Rose, would you please give me and Jasper a chance to talk privately?" I asked, straining to keep my voice even.

"I don't think so Edward. We won't go out of hearing distance. I don't want to risk losing a brother," Emmett told me.

I could see my face in all their minds and I realized it was better this way. I wasn't nearly calm enough to handle Jasper all by myself and I would hate myself if I did anything wrong.

The raging guilt from Jasper was starting to affect me immensely and within the next couple of minutes I was consumed by it.

"Jasper, could you please get a hold on yourself. I already feel guilty enough myself, you're making it ten times as strong," I muttered.

"But, I wanted to drink her blood, Edward! I wanted to kill the girl you love! I feel so horrible about this. I won't go back. I can't go back. I can't ever face her again. She will never forgive me. She should never forgive me, and neither should you."

"Jazz, calm down damn it. You're starting to panic and it's driving me crazy."

"Sorry. I'm so sorry, Edward. You'll tell Bella won't you? Tell her I'm sorry. Tell her I'll never do that to her again."

"I will," I told him, although I wasn't at all sure whether I would.

"I'll leave, tonight. You and Bella deserve happiness. You two need to be able to see each other without being afraid I'll hurt her."

Jasper's face was tormented and I could still feel all that he felt and in that instant all my anger towards Jasper was replaced by anger towards myself.

Jasper was willing leave, to give us a chance at happiness. He was stronger that I was. I had tried so many times to leave Bella, but I never had been strong enough. But as Jasper continued apologizing my decision started to take form.

I would leave.

She would never be in danger of any of us again. I had to be strong enough. She deserved a normal, human life, with a normal, human man.

I saw it in my mind, as I had when I had finally admitted to myself that I loved her. She was walking down the aisle, dressed in white, on her father's arm. She would have a warm, loving man waiting for her and she would be happy. She would have a family. Children. She would live a long and happy life without interference of me or my family. It was the only right way.

She would forget about me eventually. Hopefully she wouldn't resent me and over time think back to our time together without regret. I hoped that, in time, she would be grateful that I left her when I did. I hoped that she would eventually see that this was for the best.

Alice came to find us then. She had dragged the other's with her.

"Edward, you know this isn't necessary. I will go with Jasper. You don't have to leave her," she whispered.

I could see the pain in her eyes and her mind was snarled with regret and grief for losing her best friend. She was in pain as she saw Bella's future twist and turn. It was completely uncertain now.

"It's better this way, Alice," I murmured, not quite able to look her in the eye.

"Edward, you love Bella. You can't stop loving her and you know it. You'll be miserable," Esme said quietly.

"I don't care about that. All I care about is that Bella is safe and has a chance to be happy in a human way."

Esme shook her head. "What makes you think she'll be happy without you?"

"I'm sure she'll get over it. She's human, her memories will fade."

"You will devastate her, Edward," Alice pleaded.

I shook my head fiercely.

"NO!," I half growled. "She will be fine. It might take her a couple of weeks, months maybe, but she'll get over it. She will just have to."

"Come on Edward, who knows what kind of trouble she'll get herself into while we're gone. Without you there, she might not live long enough to forget you," Emmett added.

I growled and turned to smack him, but he somehow dodged me.

"Everyone just shut up!" I snarled.

The silence was almost deafening.

"We should get back. Carlisle will finish in a couple of minutes. Jazz, stay here. I'll come get you when we've cleaned the blood up," Alice whispered.

I pinched the bridge of my nose when I heard her silent plea and shook my head.

"We'll talk about it tonight, after I get back from Bella's."

They all nodded, but the mood was definitely solemn.

"We'll stay with Jasper," Rosalie murmured.

I nodded and started running back to the house.

I kept pace with Alice and Esme. I wasn't in a hurry to see Bella for once. I already felt a sharp pain ripple through my chest at the mere thought of leaving her and I wanted to brace myself before seeing her face again. I needed to keep my resolve from her until I was ready to tell her what I had decided, so I carefully composed my expression on my way back to the house.

A/N: It took a little time to get this chapter the way I wanted it. I hope it was worth the wait. Please let me know what you think.