A/N: I'm back! I'm really sorry I've taken so long to update - real life has been quite a pest. I hope I can have another chapter up soon.

P.S. Please review! Your comments are hugely appreciated.

"Mer, I just want you to know…she grabbed me. Really, I was trying to push her off."

"And that's why your tongue was in her esophagus?" Meredith asked bitterly.

"Mer…" Finn wrapped his arm around Meredith's back, dragging her closer to him. "I didn't want to kiss her," he whispered. "I wanted to kiss you." He pulled her head towards his, capturing her soft lips with his rough, chapped ones. Immediately, Meredith pushed him away and wiped her lips with the back of her hand. She opened the car door and climbed out.

"Wait, Mer…" Finn pleaded.

"Sorry, Finn. I just don't want to see anyone right now, okay? Oh, and don't call me 'Mer.'" Meredith slammed the car door and rushed inside through the pouring rain. She tore off her costume and angrily wiped off the mascara streaming down her face. Throwing on an old, faded concert t-shirt, she fell onto her bed and sighed deeply into the pillows.

Derek said he loved her.

Love.

The word ran over and over again through her head. Love. Love.

Meredith picked up the phone that was on her nightstand. Slowly, she dialed Derek's number. After two rings, she hung up. I can't do this, she thought. I can't do this. He's probably with Rose right now anyway. She flopped back down onto her bed, letting the phone fall to the floor.

Love.

Picking up the phone again, Meredith dialed Derek's number.

"Hello?"

Meredith quickly hung up and put the phone back on her nightstand.

Love.

Taking the phone back for the last time, Meredith deliberately punched each button as she dialed Derek's number.

"Hello?" an obviously exhausted voice asked after four rings.

Meredith sat completely still, unable to speak.

"Hello?" the voice asked again. "Meredith?"

"Yeah," Meredith said softly, gathering up all her courage.

"Meredith, it's midnight. What do you want?"

"Um…I…I…kind of wanted…to see…you."

"Meredith, you don't have to pity me."

"No…it's just…Finn…"

"What did he do to you?" Derek asked, his voice angry and full of concern.

"Nothing," Meredith said quickly. "We…he…it was just one little kiss…"

"It's late, Meredith. I'll see you at school."

"No!"

"I don't want to hear about you kissing other guys."

"I mean…wait. I just….wait."

"I'm waiting."

"I don't want to do the thing."

"The thing?"

"You know, the awkward thing where I say something, then you say something, then we're quiet, then you hate me, then I cry, then you say you forgive me but you're still angry, then I ask why you're angry, then you tell me and I'm angry, then we're quiet again, then…"

"You're rambling."

"I…I know. Sorry."

"That's okay. I don't mind."

They sat in silence, each lost in their own thoughts.

"Who is it?" Meredith heard a soft voice ask.

"Umm…no one," Derek whispered back.

"Oh. I see," Meredith said dejectedly. "Rose, right?"

Derek's silence confirmed Meredith's suspicions. "I'll see you at school, Derek." She slammed the phone down, but picked it up after it began to ring again.

"Derek?" she asked hopefully.

"Meredith? This is Dr. Webber. I'm a colleague of your mother's. She wanted me to call and tell you that she won't be home tonight."

"She wanted you to call?"

"Alright, you caught me. I thought it would be a good idea."

"Thanks, Dr. Webber. Bye."

x.x.x.x.x

"Cristina?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you going to Jackie's party tonight?"

"Uh…yeah. It started a while ago."

"I know. Can you pick me up?"

"Why? I'm already at the party."

"I need tequila."

"I knew Finn would be that bad."

"It's not Finn. It's Derek."

"I'll be there in ten minutes."

Meredith clicked her phone closed and pulled on her costume again. She needed to stop thinking. She needed tequila.

The doorbell rang just as she finished re-applying her heavy eye makeup.

"Thanks," she muttered to Cristina as she pulled the door closed behind her.

x.x.x.x.x

"Hey, you're Meredith, right?"

"Uh…yeah. Who are you?" Meredith asked.

"Viper."

"Hi, Viper."

"You know, I'm not just good looking. I'm also talented."

"At what?" Meredith giggled as she tossed back another shot of tequila.

"Wouldn't you like to know…" Viper said. He inched himself closer to Meredith on the couch as she took a swig from the tequila bottle. He smoothly slid his arm around her shoulder, letting his hand brush against the V-neck of her costume.

"I think…I would," Meredith slurred as she climbed on top of Viper. She grabbed the back of his head and pulled his lips to hers, quickly slipping her tongue between them. As he kissed back, Meredith began to feel sick. Suddenly, she jumped up and backed away from Viper.

"What're you doing, babe?" Viper asked confusedly. He reached for Meredith, but she stumbled back from him. She took a long drink from the tequila before falling out the door and pulling out her cell phone.

"H – hello?" a tired voice asked.

"Derek!" Meredith exclaimed. "It's me, Meredith."

"It's two A.M, Meredith. Go to sleep."

"Were you with Rose when I called? Because I don't really care if you were. But I want to know, because then I might have to hate you, which would be really hard but I would have to try because I really hate Rose and -"

"You're rambling again."

"I still want to know."

"That was Nancy, Meredith. She wanted to know who was calling me at midnight."

"Oh," said Meredith, feeling embarrassed. "I kinda need you, Derek. I'm at a – a party. Jackie's Halloween party. And I think I'm kinda drunk, so I can't drive home. And I can't find Cristina; I think she's on the floor somewhere. And there's this guy-"

"Meredith!" Viper called. "Come back, baby!"

"No, Viper," Meredith hissed. "Derek, can you pick me up?" she whispered into the phone.

"I don't think –"

"Viper! Get off of me!" Meredith yelled. She pushed his groping hands off of her, clinging to her phone.

"I'll be there in five minutes," Derek said.

x.x.x.x.x

"Uh…thanks…" Meredith whispered as she stumbled out of the car. "Ooops," she giggled as she fell onto the grass.

"I think you might need some help," Derek said concernedly as he draped Meredith's arm around his shoulder. "Give me your keys,"

Meredith handed Derek the keys, letting her hands linger on his. "You have sexy hands," she whispered. "They're really soft."

"Um…thank you." Derek opened the front door and helped Meredith up the stairs. "Do you want to change out of this?"

Meredith nodded and lay back on her bed. She let Derek help her out of the costume, all of her self-consciousness obliterated by the copious amounts of tequila.

Shit, Derek thought as he took off Meredith's costume. He shouldn't notice how pert and full her breasts were, how rosy her nipples were, how tight and flat her stomach was. He was supposed to hate her.

"What do you want to sleep in?" he asked quietly.

"I don't know," Meredith mumbled.

"Here, you can have my t-shirt," Derek said, realizing he probably wasn't going to get a helpful answer out of Meredith. He pulled off his t-shirt and helped Meredith into it.

"It smells like you," she whispered. "You smell good."

"Thanks. I'm going to go now, okay?" Derek said softly.

"No! I mean, please stay. No one ever cares enough to stay. But you said you cared. And it kinda feels good to be cared about every once in a while. Please stay, Derek," Meredith pleaded.

"Okay," Derek sighed as he climbed into Meredith's bed and gently draped his arm across her waist while she huddled close to him.

"I love you," Meredith murmured into Derek's chest. "I know you probably think I don't mean it because I'm drunk. And I mean really drunk. But I do mean it. I do. I don't really want to love you, because it really hurts now I know you don't love me anymore. You love Rose. And I tried loving Finn, but it didn't work. And I kissed Viper, but it made me kind of sick. So I thought you might want to know. I love you. Goodnight, Derek."

"Goodnight, Meredith." Derek lightly brushed Meredith's hair away from her face, watching her fall into a deep sleep. When he was sure she was asleep, he whispered, "I love you too."