Disclaimer: I own nothing. It all belongs to Mrs. Meyer.

Chapter ten

I heard a male vampire's thoughts. He was thinking of Victoria and the conversation they had carried. He hoped to see her again soon. He was taken with her.

The thoughts that followed made me shudder in disgust. I did not want to see his lecherous mind, but then his thoughts switched to his plans. He was supposed to find Bella and kidnap her.

I roared in fury when he remembered the picture Victoria had shown him. He thought she was pretty and hoped her could have his way with her before Victoria's plans to torture her.

His mind finally registered my presence. He hissed when I moved forward. My every thought was on pulling his limbs from his body and burning every last bit of him. A low growl rumbled in my throat as I lunged forward.

Edward don't!

I ignored her shouting. I needed her to be safe and she wasn't going to be safe when this vampire lived.

Please, Edward! Don't! Think of who you are!

I threw the first punch as those last words rang through my head. The vampire came back at me with brutal force. I saw his intentions just in time. I caught his fist in my hand and punched him in his gut.

He snarled and lunged for my throat. I tried to sidestep him, but he nicked my shoulder. I hissed as his venom burned my granite skin. He took advantage of my temporary distraction to grab my arm and throw me into the building behind me.

The brick crumbled easily and I landed inside the empty warehouse. The other vampire jumped through the hole my body had left. I scrambled back to my feet only to be sent flying backwards again by a kick to my chest.

"You think you can beat me? You're nothing more than a pup!" he seethed.

I easily jumped to my feet and threw myself at him. I was able to pin his arms behind his back. I pushed my knee into his back until I heard his spine snap.

NO! Edward! Don't do this!

I have to, love. I have to keep you safe.

You can keep me safe in another way. Use his mind, find something to keep him from going after me.

No, this is the only way.

I pushed the vampire away from me, keeping his arm in my hands and severing it from his torso. He snarled viciously before attacking me again.

He threw me into a wall once again, momentarily leaving me somewhat disoriented. He was faster that I had expected and came at me, teeth bared and glistening with venom.

I stopped him right before his teeth could fid purchase on my neck. I swung my fist and hit him square in the chest. He flew back, still growling.

"You can't kill me!" he roared, but his thoughts betrayed his disbelief in his own words.

"Really? Then why would you think differently?"

He stared at me. "You can hear my thoughts?"

"Yes. I can see you don't believe in your own survival and I can promise you now that I will not stop until I know the girl is safe."

"What girl?"

"The girl Victoria told you to kidnap."

His eyes widened as realization hit him. "You love her. She's your mate, isn't she?"

"Yes!"

"Then why are you not with her?"

"I'm more of a risk to her when I stay."

"You fool! I made that same mistake once and I now have to live the rest of eternity without my mate. She got in a car crash because she was trying to catch up with me. She was crying so hard she didn't see the truck coming at her head-on. She was killed before I even reached her."

"Don't tell me what to do! She's better off without me. She deserves a normal life!"

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that. I see more love in you than I felt for my mate. You won't survive if she ever dies."

"I wasn't planning on outliving her long."

"Than you're an even bigger fool that I thought. But rest assured, I won't go after her. I like the south too much."

"Where did Victoria go?"

"She mentioned seeking something in Brazil. I think she's headed to Rio."

I watched him carefully as he searched for his arm. His mind was focused on finding some human to help him recover from his injury. Nowhere in the depths of his mind was a hint of him betraying me. He genuinely gave up on going after her.

The night was almost approaching dawn, so I had to find a place to hide until the sun went down again. I ran out of the destroyed warehouse in search of a safe place to stay. I ended up at her old house again. It was abandoned.

Without really thinking about it, I sneaked around to the back of the house. I found a window that was easily opened and slipped inside. I inhaled deeply when I was in the empty room. Underneath all the dust that had gathered on the empty surfaces there was still the faintest hint of freesia, lavender and strawberries.

The venom pooled in my mouth almost instantly. My chest rippled and cracked and I fell to the ground, defeated by my grief once again.

He was right you know. I'm not better off without you.

"Don't say that. You should be happy, safer without me." I said into quiet of the early morning.

But it's true. Come back to me. It's been long enough.

"I can't risk your safety. I won't."

I waited for her voice, but it was gone again. There was only the quiet murmurs of people waking in the early hours and the low hum of those who were still sleeping.

Weak, broken I went upstairs to hide away from possible discovery by passers by. I found her room without really looking for it. The faint smell was slightly stronger here, like it had had more time to seep into the wood.

I lay down on the floor and curled into myself, desperately trying to fend off the images that were conjured by her smell.

Her eyes when I first told her I loved her.

Her smile after our first kiss.

Her voice as she whispered my name while dreaming.

Her broken expression when I told her goodbye.

I struggled to make it through the day while my mind threw image after image after image at me. Each one made my willpower weaker. Each one made me want to go back to her and tell her how sorry I was for leaving, for telling her I didn't love her anymore.

When the night finally arrived I was torn in two. I wanted so much to go back to her, but I couldn't. I wouldn't. While half of me was fighting to go back north, I dragged my body to the south. I ran throughout the night, reaching the Mexican border just before the sun rose.

I spent the day hiding up in a tree. I knew I should hunt, but I could do that easier under the cover of night. I was too distracted by the memories that still assaulted me to pay any attention for possible discovery while hunting. The chances of being caught at night were considerably less.

That night I hunted. I sought out the biggest game I could find and slaughtered it. I took out all my pain and anger on the poor animal, ripping it to shreds. I looked like a walking wreck by the time I had glutted myself on their blood.

My clothes were drench in blood, covered in pieces of fur and skin. If anyone were to see me like this they would be horrified.

My phone chirped in my pocket. I dug it out and found a text from Alice.

There's a river near by, wash up and go into town tomorrow night. You'll find a set of fresh clothes at the Maracha inn, room 11. It's pre-booked, just pick up the key at the front desk.

I sent back a reply with a simple thanks. I turned my phone off after that, knowing that my meddling sister wouldn't be able to resist trying to call me. I went down to the river and washed myself as best I could. I managed to get most of the blood out of my clothes, but it still looked disheveled and grimy, but it was the best I could do.

I spent another day hiding in trees, trying to cling to my sanity. Her voice had not re-entered my mind after I had been in her house and despite the pain it brought me, I missed it. I wanted to hear, because for the first time in my existence I couldn't remember clearly. Her voice sounded muffled in my memories, not as beautiful as I knew it was, almost like it was one of my human memories.

That night I managed to find the motel Alice booked for me and I crashed hard. I was overwhelmed, consumed by my heartache. I obliterated one of the nightstands. I slammed my fist into it until there was nothing left but dust and splinters.

After I had settled down a little, I took a long shower, reveling in the heat of the water, letting it soothe some of my inner turmoil. I dressed in the clothes Alice had sent over for me and lay down on the bed.

I closed my eyes and let myself relive the last days I spent with her. The night of her birthday, the reason why I left, the days afterwards. I rehashed every thought I had in order to come to that decision. They still made sense to me, I still knew why I had left her and it had not yet lost it's power. I would continue to stay away, no matter how much I wanted to go back and beg for her forgiveness.

I spent two more days in the motel before I remembered why I had gone here in the first place. Victoria had gotten too far away from me. I had to make up for the time I lost trying to reconfirm my resolve to stay away from her.

So I ran, staying deep in the forest so I could keep running during the daytime hours. I avoided inhabited areas as best I could and made it to Rio in two days.

It was time to get back to tracking Victoria.

A/N: I finally managed to untangle the mess I made of this while working on a ratty computer. I hope you will remain with me, despite the long time it takes me to update.

I'm trying to be more frequent, but it's hard to stay in the right mood to write these parts of the story.

Let me know what you think.

Hugs, Mo