Chapter Six

Trained

When it came down to a game of who-can-find-you-first as Genma had predicted, she figured she would be the one to seek out her brooding ex-teammate. But in a very solid contradiction to her thoughts – there he was.

"Wait – what are you doing here!?" And then she thought about the reason she had been tiptoeing around her apartment in the first place. "You broke in my home!"

Sasuke seemed to be quietly waiting for something. He had not moved from his position against her wall, his face very blank. It was quite possible that he was simply waiting out her furious outburst.

"Well?" she asked while stomping her foot down impatiently. The wrecked pieces of her vase rattled.

He surveyed her irritated face until his own started to mirror hers. "Are you done?" his voice had a slither of anger. Taken aback, she nodded.

"In answer to that first question, I came to talk to you." He rolled his eyes when she mumbled something under her breath. "And I wouldn't have had to break in – though I would hardly call twisting that weak handle breaking in- if you had been here in the first place."

"Exactly, how long have you been here?"

He considered her cautious face for a moment, "Two hours."

Well she knew exactly where she had been in the last two hours. But she couldn't exactly say that she was hanging out at some children's playground either. She could, she supposed, but it would definitely bring down her level of maturity a few notches in his eyes. "Why didn't you just go? I'm sure you would have found the answer you were looking for elsewhere."

"Does it even matter how long I was here?" He snapped. Was it her or was he suddenly very irritable? "The point is we're both here now. And we need to talk."

Seeing no escape from her current predicament, she collapsed onto one of the cushions on her sofa.

"Grouch."

He watched her with calculating eyes as if there was something off about her. Realizing that his stare was in fact centered on her irises, she turned slightly to angle her face away. But not before seeing his disbelieving look.

"Well a lack of sleep does that to you. But you would know, wouldn't you?"

Yes.

"No, I've been sleeping just fine, thanks. And if I were," She coughed nervously. "Hypothetically speaking of course, having sleeping problems…err…how would you know?"

His face went from irritated to incredulous in a millisecond. And then, as if in answer to her question, he gave her a pointed onceover. With an arch of a black eyebrow, he said, "You're joking?" At her offended face, he scoffed.

"Haven't had a chance to look in a mirror, have you? You look like hell, Sakura."

She wanted to scream at him. No matter how hard she tried to will it away, her reflection was growing to resemble some terminally ill patient with each passing day. Just because she avoided the mirror didn't mean she didn't see herself.

Annoyed and more stung than she would have liked to admit, she determinedly folded her hands within the confines of her lap. "Just go."

"I'd love to, trust me. But I need to say something to you first."

"You keep saying how we need to talk. So let's talk."

He stepped forward from the darkened perimeter of her hallway and into the light of her living room. For the first time, she was able to fully distinguish the faint edgings of violet-black rings under his eyes and the paleness of his skin. To her, he looked worse than her own reflection.

"Nightmares," he whispered. "You remember people you've never actually met? Emotions that feel wrong inside your body?"

Just a little scared, Sakura unconsciously pressed her body backwards, into the cushion. It groaned quietly against her weight. His words painted a vivid picture in the air. Her life. Or what it had been reduced to in the last couple of days.

His face – hauntingly fluid in its stillness – was staring off at something that she couldn't see. "All mine," he breathed. "Every thought. Mine," he whispered again. "I was controlling it, before you woke up that is. I couldn't afford…rather you couldn't afford – to see all of that while you were in a coma. It might have made it all the more difficult for you to wake up."

She was utterly transfixed by his words. The answers that she had been craving were spilling out so fast that she found herself almost incapable of keeping up.

"But when you awoke…it was hard for me. I don't know why. Every day was a constant struggle to keep down emotions that I wouldn't normally mind feeling. Except that it isn't just my life now." His head turned very quietly to look at her.

She gasped. A great portion of his left eye was pale green – exactly the same shade as hers.

He continued on as if her shocked expression meant very little. "Didn't you ever wonder why you were so angry? So confused? You wanted to be alone, didn't you? Every face that used to be so friendly suddenly became weary…didn't it? People found it hard to be around you. You were aloof and cold. That was me.

"I didn't even think that it would do this. And then when you were asleep for so long… I was sure I had trapped you in some permanent hell. I wondered if maybe I had been right in saving your life. I contemplated many times if I should pull the plug on you. I didn't know if you were suffering or not. So I decided to wait a year. And then you woke up. The day before I was going to pull the plug on you…

"I needed to see you so I could make sure I hadn't driven you into madness. I knew that I was affecting you when you started to remind me of myself. The medication I was taking wasn't working anymore and for that I am sorry. Tell me this, Sakura."

The look he sent her quite literally turned her insides from a solid to a liquid. "Can you see why I did what I did? Can you understand the path I chose, however wrong or twisted was, and the ties that I broke to get there? Can you – after seeing that- understand just a fragment of my pain?"

His words almost brought her to tears. They brought to life the images that she had been forcing her mind to forget, something that was impossible. She could understand his motivations, every single one of them.

"Yes, but I won't say that you were right."

He smiled – the kind that was every bit as bitter as a frown. "I wasn't, if that's what you wanted to hear. I wasn't right! I was wrong."

She understood completely what he was saying. He had killed the wrong man. He had betrayed his village; left his friends, threw away his morals, and abandoned every sweet memory he might have had. She had seen that and she had felt his agony when he realized the truth.

Unable to sit and listen any longer she rose to her feet, taking hesitant steps towards him.

"Don't," He warned her. "Don't tell me you know how I feel. I know that you know how I feel. And yes, it gives me some hope. It lessens my pain. But it will never be enough."

She flinched involuntarily at the harshness in his voice.

"I came here to tell you that you can control it. If you practice enough, your emotions should be fine. You won't ever have to worry about feeling or seeing anything that comes from my head ever again, I promise you. Your eye color is just a physical manifestation of my persona, it happens. It means nothing and it should fade in another days timing. I should tell you that this has gone horribly wrong before. Shinobi have tried this and failed. Eventually they were either driven into madness or they completely assumed the identity of the body they were linked to. "

"Sasuke…"

"Yeah?" It was a tired response, as if he were fed up with talking.

I want you to know that you are not alone. Oh, she could say that. And he would never talk to her again. "Before…you said I could control it, right?"

He stared at her. "You can."

"Will you help me? I don't even know where to start and I don't want to subject you to my thoughts and memories. I know that you can't stand me already…" She glanced down; her terror at his rejection already setting in.

"Southern glade, midnight tomorrow," he murmured.

Shell shocked, Sakura watched his retreating back. "Hey!" She called out to him. He stopped just outside of her door, his hand already closing it. He pulled it back slightly to watch her face. "What is it?"

Nervously, she wrung her hands. "Sleep well." Kami, she knew she sounded pathetic. Her gut was just nagging at her, telling her to say something.

He smirked – the action truly Sasuke-esque. "Only if you can."

It was snowing delicately when she found herself at the mouth of the southern glade. It sat just in the heart of one of the forests near the southern part of the village. Looking up, it was a beautiful contrast to see the white specks billowing from a black sky.

Sakura snapped out of her momentary stupor and trudged inside the meadow. He was waiting for her like she knew he would be. When she stepped in front of him, he silenced her with one look. "Sit," the Uchiha instructed.

"Yes ma'am," she joked. To her intense pleasure and surprise he did not rebuke her attempt at humor.

She did as she was told. They sat facing one another directly. "Now," he started. "Take your clothes off."

…

…

…

"What!?" The pink-haired woman managed to squeak. She was sure her face was purple. Red from embarrassment and blue from a lack of oxygen which was caused by the former.

He was already undressing while she continued to sputter for air. She swore she saw his eye twitch in irritation. "Your coat and sweatshirt, genius," he clarified dryly.

He was however shirtless, his dark coat and sweater lying in the snow beside them.

Trying to look at anything beside his body, she fixed her vision on her fingers. "Ah, right." Hurriedly she unbuttoned her heavy coat, and pulled her sweatshirt over her head. That left her in only her pants and blouse while Sasuke was adorned only in casual pants, a fact that she had been trying to avoid.

Sakura shivered when a blast of cold air hit her bare arms.

"Why are we doing this again?"

He rolled his eyes. "To improve your concentration. If you are trying to maintain a proper amount of privacy – which I would prefer- then you are going to need to know how to control your emotions and state of mind. The coldness is a constant distraction and you need to know how to overcome it."

She sneezed. "But it's….f-freezing."

He snorted. "Obviously. Now, close your eyes, like that."

Her sight of the world was cut off as he commanded which left her oddly vulnerable. "Now follow my voice. Sakura," he called. "Hm?"

"Every time I say a particular word, I want you to picture any memory or thought that comes to mind."She nodded.

"Ramen."

Naruto pushed her threw the papery flaps, his hands urgent. "C'mon, I'm starving here Sakura-chan!" It was not surprising to see Hinata waiting for them with three extra bowls. One for her and two for Naruto.

Sakura turned away when they kissed, her stomach sinking. And not just from a loss of appetite. How many times had she pictured going on a date like this? But that was impossible seeing as how those fantasies always included a certain someone that was never available. Now, he never would be.

"Gold."

A long finger tugged at a small section of skin, properly exposing the inner workings of a gold eye. It flashed once in the fading light of the evening sun, and rooted her to the ground. Everything she knew that was logical flew up into the air. Nothing made sense. Nothing mattered. She and Sasuke were going to die in the Forest of Death without ever getting to say goodbye. And that was that.

"Retrieve."

"Sakura," said the voice. The voice that haunted her every action and was behind her every motive. It drifted and echoed long after her name had been spoken. A sinister symphony to her ears. Everything became much slower. Her head felt as if it weighed a ton. She meant to turn towards the beautiful voice but her reflexes were too off. Too much adrenaline a voice in her head whispered.

"S-sasuke-k-kun," she breathed. His body came into view, every glorified piece of it, and almost blinded her. Love and triumph overwhelmed her heart, humming through every nerve her body ever had. That was until she saw his eyes. Dead and vacant, they stared uncaringly through her. A blinding rage overtook her then.

"Open your eyes."

She did and the memory flew back into the recesses of her brain. It took her a moment to realize she was sweating even though it was still snowing. "How did I…do?" She panted as she tried to calm her racing heart.

"I only caught flashes of each memory. So I guess it was alright."

"That's it?"

"You need more practice."

Finally letting her eyes rest on his face, she noted that his expression was odd. "How can I get better?" She demanded.

"Through repetition. I know that you never were able to control those emotions of yours," If she didn't know any better it felt as if he were alluding to her temper. "But you should be able to simply remember things without pushing your body into an overly emotional state."

"We can't all be icicles."

Ignoring her jibe, he simply arched an eyebrow. "Now close your eyes and breathe. This will help keep your heart rate in check in the future."

She did as she was instructed once again and inhaled faintly. "No, deeper." Sasuke said.

Taking extra care to take in a ridiculously large amount of air the next turn, she held it for a minute and then released it. They breathed for several minutes until her curiosity got the better of her.

As soon as she cracked an eye open, he scolded her. "Close it."

"How'd you know I was doing that? You had your eyes closed!"

He scoffed and went back to breathing. "I mean it, Sakura." After several turns, she made sure to keep her heart completely in tune with his before sneaking closer to him.

She made a funny face in front of his, not that he could see her. His sculpted chest – a product of hard training – rose and fell with each breath. He blinked.

"Gah!" A hand flew to her heart, as she fell backwards into the snow. She had not been expecting that. She stared upwards at the black sky before Sasuke blocked her vision. His mouth was set in a line of disapproval as he extended a hand to help her up.

"What happened to keeping your eyes closed?"

"Sorry."

"Hn, suppose it can't be helped with someone like you."

She rounded on him. "And what exactly does that even mean?"

His black eyes peered at her doubtfully. "That you have the attention span of Naruto."

Whether it intentionally crept up on her, she didn't know, but Christmas was somehow only twenty-four hours away. Granted, she recently found her thoughts to be elsewhere. She hadn't spoken to Sasuke in days, a fact that kept nagging at her brain. Last time she had checked he was out on border duty.

She envied the fact that he had left just in time to avoid all of the annoying Christmas parties – something that he had most likely planned from the get-go. Tsunade was throwing a Christmas Eve bash at some private venue that could probably house all of Fire Country.

Honestly, she really did not plan on attending but the prospect of spending Christmas alone when she had spent the last one asleep left her with a sick feeling.

She couldn't exactly go to her parent's home and drop in because they were vacationing in Suna, at the most inopportune time.

The back of her invitation said to dress up but Sakura just didn't see how that was possible. It was freezing outside and Tsunade wanted her to wear some flimsy gown? Not an option. "Like hell." She muttered as she snatched through her closet for something to wear.

She'd never been one to have an overly extravagant amount of clothes but almost everything in her closet was shiny and new, courtesy of Ino. Finally she pulled out a comfortable pair of jeans and two tops.

Her mind was torn between two blouses, one white, and the other grey. Since it was Christmas after all then she could at least try to be festive; she picked the white blouse. Not surprisingly it still had the tags attached. Once dressed, she picked up her keys, and dashed out into the living room.

With all good intentions, she'd meant to do something refined with her hair but she was running late. Extremely late. A headband seemed nice enough, plus it matched her silvery heels. Turning to grab her overstuffed bag of presents with one arm, Sakura skidded out of her door and into the cold.

"You made it!" Someone exclaimed when she reached the large double doors of the rented venue. She nodded, her head somewhat hidden behind her makeshift mountain of gifts. The cherry-haired woman was pulled inside roughly and then escorted down the hall where everyone was partying.

Tsunade did not disappoint. There was a Christmas tree that was ten times her height, the shuriken on the tip poking the ceiling ever so slightly. There were tables and couches littered everywhere and a crowded dance floor to boot. Sakura noted wryly that there was in fact a bar situated in the back, which was currently being run by Rock Lee, of all people.

"Sakura-chyaaan!," Naruto chanted from behind her. He was dressed in a neutral tux with an orange bow tie shining brightly around his neck. Aside from the odd choice in color, he looked well put together.

"Hey." She greeted with a wave of her free hand. "Any idea where I can set these down? My feet are killing me." Naruto simply shrugged before relieving her of the extra weight.

"Damn Sakura, what'd ya put in here? The bastard's body I'm hoping. Right?" He joked. She shook her head in mock disbelief. "No, those are all of the gifts I bought last week. If you play your cards right there might even be one for you in there." The overly exuberant ninja took off towards the huge Christmas tree, where he would no doubt drop her bag.

Limber from the loss of the extra weight, she wondered towards the back windows where several people were already chatting. On her way there, she swore she saw Gai dressed as Santa Claus.

"Hey girlie! Want something to drink?" Ino greeted as she sloshed around a fruity cocktail. Sakura shook her head, amused with all of the dancing couples. "No? Live. Love. And drink! I thought I told you that, Sakura."

"Um I am to the first. And the second condition is looking pretty much impossible. And I told you I don't drink." And then at her best friend's withering expression, she added, "Okay, one glass. That's it."

The beauty handed her something that looked like eggnog but smelled heavily of alcohol. She sniffed it twice before taking a sip. From what her tongue could decipher through tasting, it was lightly spiked. "It's not bad, Ino."

Her friend laughed her trademark giggle. "Told you. Plus, Lee made it for you and you might want to tell him how much you like it before he goes out in that mess," She jabbed a thumb out towards the snowy storm which was visible through the huge glass window in front of them. "And runs thirty laps."

She sighed before wandering off towards one of the side couches. She sat there for a moment in contemplative silence. What am I doing here?

Really-truly-honestly – she had no clue. Not that the party wasn't enjoyable, it was quite fun actually. But it felt much too….ceremonial for her tastes. She would have preferred a nice get together at someone's house. Maybe she should leave.

It wouldn't be that tough of a challenge to sneak out, maybe through the dance floor, and slip unnoticed into the cold streets. But alas, Tsunade would somehow kill her the next morning for not staying. She almost left until she saw a familiar face look her way.

Genma, hair slicked back with a dark tux on, excused himself from his conversation with Raidou and sauntered her way. It was amazing how unbelievably happy he could seem all the time. At the sight of the object lodged between his teeth, she choked on her drink.

He neared her with a smile on his face. "What? You don't approve?" Gone was his regular senbon and in its place was a white and red striped candy cane.

"No," she laughed. "I just didn't expect that, is all. I have to say, it completes your look, Genma." He smirked, leaning a little closer to her. His breath smelled of mint and chocolate – a nice smelling mixture. "Well at least I dressed according to the occasion. What's your excuse, Sakura?"

Her face grew warm as her seemingly practical choice in attire made her feel self conscious. Looking back, could squeezing into a dress really have been much of a hassle? "In my defense, it was or is cold outside. And I was running late after all. I know I do not exactly exude sex appeal in this get up but whatever."

He chuckled loudly at her choice in words. "No, no you look gorgeous," he assured her good-naturedly. "If you're worried about sex appeal, I'd say you beat out every woman here in terms of sexiness."

"Thanks…I guess. That was perverted, you know."

He winked. "Anytime and I know, trust me."

"So, what do you want for Christmas?" He asked casually.

She wasn't listening, however. Her vision was focused on the entry way which was currently being occupied by a slim figure. Sasuke stood impassively in the doorway, his neck craned ever so slightly in the opposite direction. He looked uncomfortable standing there, probably feeling just as awkward as she was. He seemed to be searching for something. She noticed with surprise that he was still clad in his jounin uniform. He must have returned and come straight to the festivities.

"Hey, what do you want for Christmas?"He repeated, not noticing her lack of attention.

Finally, the Uchiha's black stare locked with hers. Her insides flooded with warmth.

Oh, she definitely had an inkling or two of what she wanted.

TBC

A/N: So I didn't take too long to update. Like many reviewers have said, I am sensing a Sasuke/Sakura/Genma love triangle, possibly. Well, maybe. I don't think so. If I do, it won't be anything big. Maybe just to irk dear Sasuke's nerves. Ha. I'd have fun writing that. Also, I would like to say kudos to Lasrber for guessing what Sasuke did to save Sakura. (Even before I wrote in the obvious hints)Very clever. But so many of you guessed close too. I would like to ask that if you read, please do leave a comment, it's very helpful not to mention- pleasing. Next update should be quick.

P.S: Sakura had a dream before the "Itachi massacre" one four chapters ago. Can you find it?

Surmise