Disclaimer: I own nothing. All rights to these characters and the plot belong to Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter eleven

In Rio I quickly picked up on her scent, which was something I hadn't expected at all. I had delayed my search by getting stuck in Mexico for two days. It shouldn't have been that easy to find Victoria's scent in a city this large.

Be careful, her voice was a mere whisper in my head.

I whipped my head around, half expecting her to stand behind me, but of course she wasn't there. I raised my nose in the air and tried to find Victoria's smell again. It was fainter now, but I could sense in which direction to look for her.

I stalked through the alleys, avoiding humans as much as possible. Victoria's scent swirled around my head, a little too faint to be near, a little too strong to be out of range of my mind-reading abilities.

I reached out to try and find her mind, but all I heard were the ramblings of the humans in the area. Victoria's scent got stronger and then I heard the drunk mind of a human girl wrapped up in a coat that had been Victoria's.

"Damn it!" I bellowed down the empty street.

She had tricked me! She had used the same trick we used when we tried to lure James away from Bella.

I cursed up a storm, punching my fist into the wall hard enough to go straight through. The area was quiet for any kind of chatter, mental or verbal, so I quickly pulled my fist back and hastily retreated back down the street to get away from the mess I created.

My mind was reeling so fast even I couldn't make sense of the mess in it and to top that all off the invading thoughts of others seemed to be getting louder and louder. I wanted to scream for them to stay out of my head, to beg for someone to put me back together again, but all I could manage was a strangled sob.

I wandered the streets of Rio for two days before I finally settled on a dingy building to hide in. I rented the attic and without much other care I dragged myself up the stairs to the room that was now mine.

I stayed there for three days before I went hunting again, feeling nothing more than the tormenting pain of being without her. The agony of not hearing her voice in my head anymore. I wanted, no needed to hear her, but not matter what I did, she didn't come back to me.

So I hid. I only called home every couple of weeks. I only fed when my strength was waining. I curled up into a ball on that dirty floor in that nasty building and let misery have me, take me over completely.

I lay there for minutes.

Hours.

Days.

Weeks on end.

I stared at the cracked mirror over the sink at my black eyes, constantly at war with myself about what to do.

Every day it became harder for me to remember why I had left. Why it was better for me to stay here, thousands of miles away from her. From my one and only love.

"She deserves to be safe. You are a risk to her," I told my reflection. "As long as you are in her life she will be at risk. She will never be safe if you're with her."

I growled, snarled at my own reflection. Repulsed by the monster that roared for blood inside me. The monster that urged me to seek out the nearest human and suck them dry.

"And that is why you need to stay away from her. You're a monster! A soulless monster! You are nothing more than a vile animal. A creature that deserves no love, especially not from an angel like her!"

But no matter how often I told myself what was in her best interest, every hour made the pull back to Forks stronger. I felt physically torn between staying where I was, wallowing in my misery and running back to her.

The longer I stayed away though, the more often I would fantasize about going back to Forks and showing up at her window. I would beg her to take me back. I would spend the rest of our lives together proving to her that I was worthy of her. I would marry her and keep her safe at my side until it was time for her to leave this earth.

On the darkest of moments I would even daydream about turning her so I could have her forever, but the remorse, the guilt and the disgust over my selfishness, would soon cloud those thoughts.

And every time I allowed myself to think about going back to her, the pull got stronger, my resolve crumbled. Every fiber of my being hummed with anticipation of the day that I would finally give in and go back to her.

But then the day broke that would change my existence forever. Somewhere near the end of the morning my phone started ringing. Feeling weak and hungry and angry and devastated, I ignored it.

But then it rang again.

I ignored it.

It rang again.

And again.

And then I answered with a low growl.

"Edward, thank god! Listen you can come home now. Things have changed," Rosalie's voice sounded from the other end.

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, you no longer have a reason to stay away."

"Why not?"

"It's Bella. Alice saw her."

"What? I told Alice to stay out of her life!"

"She got a vision that she couldn't avoid. She left for Forks at once."

"What? Why? She needs to stay away from her."

"She won't know Alice is there, Edward."

"Rosalie, will you stop talking in riddles. What the hell did Alice see?"

"She saw Bella jump off a cliff. Edward, Bella killed herself."

"NO! No, she promised! She promised she would stay safe."

"Edward, she jumped off a cliff and Alice didn't see her come up out of the water."

"NO! Bella promised me she would be careful! No, it can't be."

"If you don't believe me then call Charlie. I'm sure he'll tell you."

Without another word I shut the phone, staring down at the offending little device that had delivered me the worst possible news I could have ever heard.

Love. Life. Meaning. Over.

I flew out the door and ran into the street, not even thinking about the sunlight or the shimmering skin that shocked the humans around me.

I flicked the phone open again and dialed the number that was still embedded in my mind, in my heart. Her number.

The phone was answered by the second ring. "Swan residence," a deep gruff voice said.

It wasn't a voice I recognized, so I twisted my voice a little as I spoke: "This is Carlisle Cullen, is Charlie Swan there, please?"

"He's not here," the man answered flatly.

"Well, where is he? I need to talk to him."

"He's at the funeral."

No! my mind roared. It can't be! She promised! She promised!

I snapped the phone shut without realizing and tossed it into the garbage bin I was standing next to.

I rushed back into the room where I had stayed. Pacing the floor, growling at the agonizing pain in my chest, I tried to sort through my messed up thoughts. I couldn't form a coherent thought, no matter how hard I tried. All I could feel was the pain of losing her. My love. My life.

She was gone. I would never see her brown eyes again. Her creamy skin, her rosy blush, gone forever. Never again would this earth be graced with her laughter. Never again would I feel her arms around me, her lips on mine. I would no longer hear her heartbeat quicken as I smiled at her, or see he stumble over her own two feet. She was gone. The meaning of my life was gone.

I begged God to bring her back to me. I just wanted to hear her voice once more. I just wanted to hold her in my arms once more.

For another breathless moment I allowed myself to drown in my pain and then, finally, I managed to get my thoughts together.

Contingency plans.

I needed to get to Italy at once. Fast enough to stop Alice from coming after me to keep me from what I was supposed to do.

I was going to the Volturi.

A/N: I am starting to find it increasingly difficult to write this story, as you maybe can tell by the short chapters. I am trying my hardest to keep writing it and I am committed to finish it to the best of my ability, but I hope you will bear with me during the long periods between updates.

Mo