Chapter Ten

Blurred


"You confuse me," she answered in a small voice.

That had been the truth. Clean cut and undiluted by excuses and ramblings, that was as plain as she could put it. His words were cryptic and her only guess was that if it didn't make sense to her, one could only hope that it made sense to him.

She had only been awake over a span of just two months yet it was enough for her to notice that Sasuke could not handle emotions. And on the singular chance that he could recognize a particularly powerful one, he expressed it in all the wrong ways.

"What the hell is confusing about that?"

"Because I don't know how to interpret it – your words I mean."

"I'm not speaking another language," came his dry reply. "I…just…it's complicated. Far more than you know. Than anyone knows…"

"Than you know?" She offered.

"I know, but I wouldn't expect you to understand."

She folded her arms across her chest in a determined fashion. It was a clear attempt at trying to appear less foolish and more established. "Try me."

He glanced at her, heat in his gaze; though she could tell none of it was directed towards her. "I could have thought of anyone. My parents, Kakashi, the dobe…my brother…hell that sick freak," Sakura shuddered at the mention of Orochimaru. "Yet I couldn't bring myself to do it. There was…just you. And I don't get it!"

That had done it. His outburst had set off Tsunade who they could hear bustling down the hallway. The door opened and Tsunade poked her head in. "You," She directed towards Sakura. "Out. And you get ready to have one hell of a long week in here. Best wishes." She disappeared through the doorway, presumably to attend to another patient.

A team of medics stalked in, shouting orders all at once. It was to Sakura's knowledge that they were going to transfer him to a more comfortable room where he would dwell for the remainder of his stay.

They wheeled his bed out, his eyes never leaving her face. His facade was frustrated, whether at the interruption of their conversation or at the words that had been spoken between them, she didn't know. Sakura could not bring her eyes to stray from his face so they remained glued to his until the door forced them to separate.


A week passed. It went without much disturbance aside from the occasional blunder from Naruto. And it was he who finally reminded Sakura that their friend was due for his leave of the hospital.

So it was on that early Sunday morning, when she found herself baring the cold weather to go pick up her ex-teammate. Her feet carried her down the usual shortcut she took when walking to her shift. The pink haired woman pulled her scarf tighter while inwardly wishing that she'd thought to wear gloves before leaving the house.

With a sigh that turned into a puff of chilly fog she rounded the corner of a vacant laundry mat. A blinding pain erupted into her forehead as she bumped into something hard and solid.

"I'm sorry…" She mumbled the apology without quite looking at the person she'd ran into. Sakura made to move but was surprised to find that the figure had her wrist in a vice like grip.

"I'm not." A gruff voice sniggered. Immediately her eyes narrowed into slits as she recognized the man, rather the idiot that was now grinning. He was nameless as far as she remembered and she only knew him by face. He was good-looking, if you liked the scruffy kind she supposed.

He'd tried to hit on her the previous week but was deathly disappointed when she was everything but responsive. As she had already predicted, he'd gone into a fit of anger and tried to kiss her. That only resulted in the breaking of his right arm which she was still smug to see was in a sling. A quick glance around revealed that there was three men standing behind him, most likely his buddies.

"Hey there Sakura, remember me?"

She rolled her eyes and then jerked her arm back. "I'm trying not to, trust me."

This was not the answer he had been hoping to hear, for his grin was wiped into a frown. "Likeable bitch aren't you?" With his good arm, he pushed her stomach which resulted in her back hitting the brick wall behind her.

He used his right leg to part her thighs and stand between them, while Sakura shook off the stars in her eyes. If anything, she was nothing short of pissed.

He was so not trying to do what she thought he was trying to do because if he was, she was going to castrate him. And then burn his unmentionables into a pile of dust.

A look over his shoulder revealed that his three friends were sprawled in the snow, groaning. Huh, that was odd. She could have sworn they had been standing two seconds ago.

Going back to the matter at hand, she simply brought her knee up, carefully applying some chakra to the blow, and watched as he stumbled back wheezing. "If you ever touch me again, I'm going to break your face," Sakura said calmly, dusting her coat off.

It was then that the man was tapped on the shoulder, and Shiranui Genma peered down at him cheerfully. The man was still grunting in pain, so he had no time to react.

With his senbon still pleasantly situated in his mouth, Genma thrust the other male's broken arm in an odd angle. A dry scream of agony erupted from his throat and his eyes swam with moisture.

"It's too bad that its already broken…maybe I could give your other one a go…?"

The man was already limping down the pathway, the smoke from the laundry mat blowing in his face.

"I could have handled that," came Sakura's surprised voice.

Genma smiled at her. "Oh, I could tell. I don't think you noticed his friends though." He helped her up from the wall and released her arm when she glared at him.

"I did. I was going to get to them – eventually."

And then his smile was gone and his voice was quiet. "He was going to rape you. And his sick friends were going to watch. Disgusting."

"But he didn't."

"Yes, but what if you'd been particularly tired this morning? That guy could have been a ninja and so could his friends. And don't look at me like that because I'm only trying to be practical here."

"I know. Thank you, Genma." She smiled and it seemed to infect him also. "But I could have beaten those men by myself. You know, maybe I didn't hit him hard enough down there."

"You are quite welcome. And did I ever tell you that you are one scary woman?"

"No, but thanks?"

He chuckled, the laugh lines on the side of his eyes appeared. Now that she really had the chance to survey his face, he was all smiles and sunshine. In reality, he appeared to be close to her age, possibly twenty-six. Sure he was a flirt and maybe even a bit of a ladies' man but there was something about him…

"Want to go get something to eat?" He asked as he stepped on one of the sprawled out men. He groaned but they both ignored it as they rounded the corner.

"Yes but," she checked her watch. "I have to pick Sasuke up pretty soon."

"How soon is soon?"

"An hour…"

"That's enough time to grab some food. I'll even walk you there. My treat?" His brown eyes seemed to twinkle down at her.

"Fine, so you can stop bullying me into agreeing. You're like some kid with an inferior complex from the academy or something that waits everyday at the swing to take my lunch money."

"Wait, why am I stealing your money again?" They laughed and she nudged him playfully causing him to wince slightly.

They stopped outside of a convenience stand after several minutes of walking. "Anything you like." He gestured grandly at the limited menu that hung above the stand and over their heads.

She thought it over but decided that she was too hungry to care. "I'll take whatever you're getting." Genma shrugged and told the elderly man something.

He returned with two small dishes of Gyoza and a smile. The delicious smell of cooked dumplings and meat wafted towards her and before long she was already throwing the empty container away.

Genma glanced down at his barely eaten dish and then at her face with an amazed look. "Did you just…?"

She grinned sheepishly. "I did."

"I don't really mind," he said as he finished what was left of his own meal. "I mean it's kind of sexy in a weird way."

She didn't know whether that was good or bad. They continued onwards towards the hospital, chatting amiably about the most random things, like how in Sakura's genin days, Ino's front bang used to defy gravity.

The wind was whipping past so she unconsciously leaned into the nearest warmth. At the last second, Sakura faltered but was reassured by Genma's pleasant whisper. "Go ahead, unless it's because I have offensive body odor or something."

She giggled which turned into a sneeze. "You don't." Genma's embrace was comfortable and warm. Contrary to her earlier thoughts, his arms were bigger than they appeared and quite impressive. But nothing like...

"Sasuke!" She blurted out suddenly.

"What's wrong?"

"We're sort of late. Look," Her watch said they were in fact several minutes late. "Let's hurry."

By the time they crossed a small intersection and went over the boardwalk, the white hospital loomed into view. "So I'll see you around, right?" The brunet asked as they neared the front doors.

"Well if we keep meeting like this then I'm pretty sure you will," she joked.

His face was suddenly apologetic. "About that…er…I don't want to come off as a stalker or anything," he laughed nervously. "But I was worried about you and I sorta waited for you this morning. Those ANBU are still out there and who knows? They may have a bone to pick with you. So be careful and…try to stay away from Sasuke as much as possible. And yes, I know you guys are friends but they attacked him. And I don't think they suddenly grew a heart and will spare you if you cross paths. Sorry for making you late. I'll see you later gorgeous."

"Wait!"

He turned, eyes twinkling with amusement. "Yes?"

The rosette haired medic bit her lip nervously before asking, "Thanks for earlier with those men. I don't know, but I feel like I owe you so do you need anything? Anything at all?"

Was it her imagination or did his chocolate eyes suddenly flicker to her mouth? He grinned, the senbon moving to the corner of his full lips. "Stay safe," was all he said before continuing down the road.

Somewhat miffed, Sakura scratched her head and then darted into the entrance.

"I'm here for Uchiha Sasuke," Sakura muttered breathlessly to the middle aged secretary.

"Sorry dear, but he already checked himself out. A strange boy that one is. He was quite fine-looking though…"

Sakura thanked the secretary and dashed out into the snow. Knowing him, he was already half way to his house. She turned the next two streets and made a left out into one of the more desolate parts of town. His house was only a block away or so…

"What are you doing here?"

She turned towards his voice, already apologizing. He shrugged and continued walking. "I'm not interested in apologies. What you do with your time is no concern of mine."

She caught up to him in a few strides. "Well I don't really have to check up on you today. I mean I'm pretty sure your attending medics cleaned and changed your dressings."

"They did."

"That's good."

"If you say so." It was clear that he was disinterested in starting a conversation with her and that his only matter was getting home as quickly as possible.

"So I'll be by tomorrow morning, then."

"The door will be unlocked."

Thinking that it was best to leave, she pivoted on her heel and headed in the opposite direction. Some twenty-something minutes later, she reached her apartment and opened up her door. Sakura collapsed onto her couch. She was already dozing off when she realized that she wasn't the only one seated.

"Sai!"

He watched her with a blank expression. Now normally, this was his normal attitude. But there was no hidden laughter or curiosity in his eyes. Only a deep seriousness lined his face and for a second she could have sworn it was Sasuke sitting across from her.

"Sakura," he said, voice low. "Stay away from Uchiha Sasuke."

"Wh-"

He was already rising from his seat, intent on leaving. "It's been almost two years since I've seen you. You look well or as well as you're ever able to look." Sakura was no fool. His teasing had been forced, or rehearsed. There was friction in his eyes and she knew it.

"Don't you want to catch up?"

"I'm working on an assignment, actually."

"And that would be…?"

"-Classified." And with that, he vanished through the doorway.


She was still chewing over Sai's cryptic words when she knocked on Sasuke's door. After several minutes, she tried the lock which turned. So he had not forgotten to unlock his door.

She removed her shoes at the front and tiptoed into the hallway. "Hellooo? Sasuke?" She ventured into the living room where she saw him seated, arms folded.

"You're late," came his stoic reply.

"Thanks captain obvious." She set her bag down on the small coffee table and dug through it for her stethoscope. Upon finding her desired tool, she went immediately to work. It was almost cruel how she had to force herself to look at his body in the most detached and clinical fashion.

Sasuke, as cool as a cucumber, seemed just about as affected as a lamp post when her fingers grazed across his skin. Sakura finished dressing his arm, which had previously sported a nasty gash, and packed her things.

"About earlier…I'm still confused," Sakura revealed slowly. The Uchiha simply looked at her with a vacant façade. "It's really not in my nature to explain things."

"You're telling me that you are not able to explain a simple sentence?"

There was no hiding the incredulity in her voice.

"Maybe I should clarify. It's not in my nature to explain things to you."

Sakura growled, throwing her arms up in the air in defeat. "But you just "explained" something to me. It defeats the purpose!"

"Caught that, did you?" He sighed. Behind him, the afternoon light wafted through the curtains and threw odd beams of sunshine in his hair and eyes. For a moment he appeared to be a myriad of colors and when the sunlight withdrew, he reverted back into an obsidian Adonis.

She blinked, shaken from her thoughts, and cleared her throat. "You're an asshole."

Nothing changed about his body and that in itself was enough to drive her up the wall. "You can leave, Sakura."

Determinedly stalking back towards the couch, she seated herself several spaces away from him. He growled and eyed her speculatively. She shrugged. "You can make all the weird noises you like but I'm not leaving until I get some answers. Some damn good ones."

He looked at her strangely, and it was then that she could see that she'd struck a chord.

"It's annoying that whenever I'm with you, I have to strain myself to be normal. Or what I've trained myself to believe normal is. The rules, the restrictions, they don't seem to apply to you. It's killing me – you're killing me," he said slowly, so slowly that she could repeat his words in the same tempo.

"And the frustrating part is I can't decide which is worse. You making me feel alive or the fact that you're killing me. Funny."

"I don't understand…"

"Of course you don't. You don't get it. I don't get it! One minute you're dying and the next you're in a coma and now you're here and the dobe is making sense, which doesn't make sense, and you are…killing me," he rushed out but faltered at the end. "Every day, I'm dying piece by piece, breaking down into something else. What happens when there's nothing left to break? When there's nothing left to fix? What happens when I look in the mirror and I'm not the same? Tell me, Sakura, once you've stripped me of everything will I still hold that fascination? Will you still love me?" He spat.

He shot up and paced backwards, knocking over everything in sight. "Or is it just the mystery of the Uchiha that draws you in? If I wasn't so fucked up would you even look at me? Am I just one big puzzle for you to put together again?" He crouched in front of her, looking her dead in the face. She wanted to flinch away from him, or run. Sakura wanted to sink into the cushions or the floorboards – anything – if it would take her away from his black ire.

"Or is it something else?" He whispered, his face mere inches from hers. She tried her best not to flinch away when his black eyes flashed precariously. She could see it, the way his eyes very carefully darted towards her lips and back toward her gaze.

And suddenly she was pulling his head towards her own and the next thing she knew her lips were about to descend upon his…

"Exactly as I thought," he whispered to himself. "Just shallow and aesthetical reasons. Even I know that this isn't love, what you feel, its lust."

And with that, he pushed himself up, leaving her in a confused daze. When it all came rushing back – it really came with surprising clarity. He had been testing her, seeing how far she would go. Obviously, she failed, in his eyes at least.

"You ass!" She screamed, the humiliation hitting her. Hard. Against all reason or judgment she'd been about to kiss him and it looked like he'd wanted to kiss her too. But leave it to Uchiha Sasuke to turn something as simple as a kiss into a mind game.

"If you had any sense then you would know that I've loved you since I was twelve! Never have I stopped! So don't call my reasons "shallow and aesthetical". If anything you are more supercilious than I. You know that I love you and then you throw it in my face! What is that? Noble? Hardly."

She looked at him, and shook her head. "You know what? I think you're scared. That's all it is. You're scared of what you're becoming. This isn't about me or what I'd do if you suddenly became a better person. No. This is purely about you being frustrated at yourself. Newsflash! Sasuke you are changing for the better. And maybe just maybe, those things that make you angry and sad, those things called emotions, are changing. Maybe you're feeling something different. Maybe you might actually…" And then she stopped herself.

Because it was ridiculous. She could really slap herself for putting her foot in her mouth. He couldn't possibly feel that way. Not even if someone shoved him in a cocoon for fifty years and he emerged under a new personality.

"I might actually…?" He asked, softer somehow.

She turned away and swallowed down the lump in her throat. "It doesn't matter." But he was suddenly there. She did not know how but he had materialized in front of her, with a blurred look on his face.

"I might actually return your feelings?" He laughed, the sound cold. "Or that I might actually have a heart? Somewhere, beating inside my chest? Or were you going to say that I was actually scared and that I've been denying this whole time what I've denied myself from the very start?"

He laughed again, this time it struck her somewhere deep inside, threatening to bring an entirely different meaning to the phrase "a broken heart." She'd had that before. No, this was a demolished heart. One that had been trampled, tore, burned, and scorned upon.

"Because if you were going to say that then," He looked at her, eyes flashing. "You were exactly right."

And with the grace of a predator, he pulled her face to his, and pressed his lips upon her own.


To be continued…


A/N: You want to kill me. Don't you?

Surmise