Chapter Eleven
Ended
Previously:
"I might actually return your feelings?" He laughed, the sound cold. "Or that I might actually have a heart? Somewhere, beating inside my chest? Or were you going to say that I was actually scared and that I've been denying this whole time what I've denied myself from the very start?"
He laughed again, this time it struck her somewhere deep inside, threatening to bring an entirely different meaning to the phrase "a broken heart." She'd had that before. No, this was a demolished heart. One that had been trampled, tore, burned, and scorned upon.
"Because if you were going to say that then," He looked at her, eyes flashing. "You were exactly right."
And with the grace of a predator, he pulled her face to his, and pressed his lips upon her own.
There were no words for this.
Not that she could form any at the moment. Sasuke was cradling her face in between his hands, while his lips moved against hers.
Contrary to any misconceptions, he was not made out of stone. Only she was. Sakura could not bring herself to form any sort of a reaction. There was only room for surprise and that in itself felt like a punch in the gut. A rather good punch in the gut. If, she wondered briefly, that even made sense. One minute they had been arguing and then next thing she knew – bam! – He was all over her making face time.
It was like a dream but she knew it not to be one because his mouth felt very real. And alluring. He seemed to notice her lack of response but it did nothing to stop his persistence. If anything, it was like she had been waving the customary Uchiha fan in his face and now the flames had grown.
Oh what the hell.
Her hands were locked in his hair, pushing forcefully so that he was forced to back up. When there was nowhere else for him to rear into – his back connected with the wall. Her hands – his hands – were tangled together in some intricate web that she almost didn't think it was possible that they were still standing.
They both heard the paper paneling of the wall rip a bit and the "Ooops!" she had been about to say was swallowed by another kiss. "The wall - "she started but stopped when he silenced her. "I'll replace it."
Under the haze of moans and groans, Sakura began to realize several things. His hands were under her t-shirt grazing over the toned flesh of her stomach, his kisses were deepening, and the emotions circulating between them had gone haywire.
Her earlier hesitance had only been a prelude – she realized too late. Panic, fresh from a year's worth of pent up emotions, erupted in her throat. She thought she had screamed. It sure felt like it. But to Sasuke, it was probably another intimate sound of bliss.
She pushed against his chest, but it did little to sway him. His actions, while at first pleasing, now had the opposite effect. It was hitting too close to home. The emotions – lust, confusion, frustration, desperateness, love? – bounced between them as a ping pong ball would do. This coupled with the weight of his lips – which felt good but too urgent – brought back the sensations of that night.
When his hands, that were under her shirt, grazed over the tiny scar above her breasts where he had used the binding jutsu, she lost it.
Pushing with more force than necessary, Sasuke was forced to separate from her.
"What's wrong?" He breathed against her lips.
Panting, she fixed her shirt. Sakura had the distinct impression that the Uchiha probably hadn't even realized that she had been resisting let alone about to have a break down. "I –I…it's too much. It brings back memories of that night…"
"I see."
Truth be told, it made her smug to see that he was breathing just as heavily as she. She smirked a little which he returned.
He went to sit on the couch yet she remained standing. The pink haired medic wasn't sure what had transpired between them or if it was going to affect their already awkward relationship in any way. "Sakura," he said calmly. "Come sit with me."
She faltered but in the end, she decided to obey. It was almost comical how she sat on the farthest cushion from his body. Sighing, Sasuke pulled her next to him with one sweep of his arms. "Quit being so jumpy. I'm not going to hurt you."
She blinked, and then relaxed.
"I know this must be," he thought for a moment, "…different. And I don't want you to think that this is something casual. I want you. I want this." Sasuke watched her still guarded expression with determined eyes. "But, I can wait. I mean I'm not going anywhere. There's nowhere for me to go. Not that I would want to, not now."
"Why are you so cruel to me?" Now that the impossible had just happened, hence the kiss, she might as well ask something that she had never dared ask before.
He bowed his head, ashamed. "Is that what I am? Cruel?" He laughed shortly. "I'm not used to this. To these feelings. And because of that I get so damned frustrated all of the time. And you're just an easy target. Sorry."
"What are we now?"
He eyed her slowly, taking his time. An eternity seemed to pass before he answered. "I don't know." Her body instantly tensed, locking down for the rejection that was so close to coming. "And maybe you're not ready. Hell, maybe I'm not ready. I just – I don't want to lose you. Not to him. Not to anyone."
"Sasuke?"
He looked at her imploringly. "You once told me that we went wrong somewhere. But maybe it was meant to be that way. Maybe it took all of that so we could find each other now. I think that you leaving the village allowed me to grow. Not just in my abilities. I was twelve then, just a girl. But we're both adults now. You're twenty one and I'm twenty. I'd say, we've waited long enough."
And then she kissed him. It was softer, more delicate, now that she was in control. He seemed surprised when she moved to be on top of him but said nothing. "Too fast?" He whispered in between a kiss.
"No." It was the truth. Now that they had settled several things and had come to some understanding, she was more at ease. His teeth caught her lower lip when she made to move her head, and his hands softly tangled themselves in her hair.
"Uchiha!" An infuriating voice drifted into the confines of his bedroom. He glanced down at the woman in his arms, who was asleep and then at his door.
He glared at it for several minutes before sighing. Carefully, he lowered her still fully clothed body onto a more softer spot on his mattress and padded lightly into the hallway.
The raven haired shinobi knew who it was on the other side. Not that it took a genius to put two and two together. Shiranui Genma was like an annoying insect that he just wanted to crush beneath his heels.
The door swung open slightly, and Sasuke leaned against the frame.
"Uchiha," the brunet male growled. He noticed that he wasn't addressing him by his first name and that his normally pleasant tone was gone. "I know that she's in there!"
Sasuke shrugged. "So what?" There was no point in denying it. And why should he? It wasn't like he had to answer to the fool anyways. Which brought up an interesting conundrum. Why had he answered the door in the first place? Oh right, because Sakura was trying to sleep.
"Why?" He hissed.
"I'd let you ask her but she's asleep. Worn out actually." Sasuke smirked. Let him make of that whatever he would.
It nearly gave him pleasure to see the sneer drop from his face and form into an expression of incredulousness. The senbon nin looked like he wanted to explode yet simultaneously pass out. Hah. That would be like Christmas come early. "She's with you?"
"Yes."
Genma laughed to himself. "I guess it can't be helped. And I know that she could do better…"
"- like you?"
"….but she could do a lot worse. But tell me this, Uchiha: if she won't let go, will you?"
And his words struck him somewhere. It brought up all of the reasons why he shouldn't have spent the night with her, kissing, and talking like there had been no tomorrow. Was he so selfish that he would let her get hurt? Even if he wanted her more than anything? People were trying to kill him and he was going to try and pursue a relationship with her?
The idiot had a point.
Genma smiled, this time it was triumphant. "I'll take good care of her."
But Sasuke had already closed the door in his face. It was one thing to be right but it was another to gloat. He knew what he had to do. What he had to say.
He padded back towards his bedroom and slipped into bed with her. Very carefully, he slipped his arms around her waist like he had never left.
She was going to hate him.
And somehow, he didn't know why, that thought seemed more unbearable than the thought of his lost family. Because she was all he really had left. Before, he had been living day by day, expecting nothing out of life. He had accepted the reality of dying alone and discontinuing the clan. What would be the point?
But then, with one kiss, he was sure that he'd found his reason. His goal. And he could see himself with her for the rest of his life. He could see himself watching her grow to surpass her mentor, and then rise to new heights.
He could see himself coming home to her every night, with her in his arms, and her sighing his name in ecstasy. He could see her round with his children. He could see a ring on her finger and with a new name.
He could see her smile.
And then reality had settled back in – and once again everything was being taken from him. No that wasn't true. He was going to give her up willingly. It was for her. All for her. Because it was not just about him anymore. He'd forgotten that.
The moment he had bound his life to hers – he should have known. But she was his responsibility now. And it was for her sake that he was going to give her up. So that she could have a life.
With another man.
Not him.
But he'd be damned if he was going to watch her life slip away because of him. She would not become a target. There would be no liabilities. Why did he do this to himself? Why? Why had he hoped?
But he couldn't bring himself to regret it. This night had been the best in a long time. Once past the initial iciness, he could be at ease with her. They had kissed, talked for hours, and had eventually fallen asleep. Nothing serious.
But it had changed him. Somehow. And knowing that this would be the last time – because it would be – it killed him. They had ended before they had even begun. It had ran its course.
He breathed in, committing the moment to memory, and closed his eyes.
"NO!"
She shot up, reaching for him. Gasping, shuddering, and crying all at once, she felt like the world had been ripped from her. That had been no dream. Genma had been here and Sasuke didn't want her.
He stared at her, his face too composed. Perhaps he had already grieved while she had slept and had blocked it from her. Or perhaps he didn't care as much as she would have liked to think.
"It's over, Sakura." There was no remorse in his voice. Just emptiness. As if he had lost the will to care. "I don't blame you, it was me. I should have known. Your safety is a hell of a lot more important than what I want. What I need."
"We can make this work, we can!"
"Make what work? We shared a kiss. That's it."
She stared at him, helpless and hurt at the same time. "I thought it was different for you…"
"It was," he explained, empty. "But it's over. And now you can be free to choose whoever you like. I'm no good for you anyways. It was pointless to think so." And she could see it in his eyes that he truly meant that.
He got up from the bed, body numb. His hands were shoved into his pant's pockets,as if to keep from reaching for her,as he walked to the door. "That's it then?"
"Yes."
"And you're not even going to fight?"
"No."
"Don't I mean anything to you?"
"YES!" That seemed to trigger something in him. "This is for you! God, I want you. To keep you. But…I will not let you die because of me."
"But what about if these ANBU are captured?"
"What if they aren't? What if I never find them?"
"But…"
"And if I do. Years from now that is. If I finally am able to kill them all and there is no danger, what then? You will have moved on and it will be too late. So to save us both the pain, I can't see you after tonight."
"What? You can't even look at me now?"
"It makes it harder."
"All these years…I thought that I was weak. But I was so wrong." She shook her head, a tear in her eye. "You are the weak one. You are the one who is giving up on us before we even started…"
"Say whatever you like," he turned away, face wiped clean. "When I get back I expect this house to be empty, Sakura."
The door closed, leaving the room in total darkness. Sakura stared at the spot he had been standing in with wet eyes.
She did not see how she was going to make it through this one.
TBC
A/N:
No they didn't do the dirty. Almost. But not quite. I tried to imply this several times but for those that will ask, I repeat, no they did not do the deed. Sheesh. And I know this is M. But there will be no lemons. This is for ahem, I don't want to ruin the plot, …future violence. You perverts, you. Although I would like to inform you that I am working on four new projects. One twilight fic. And three SasuSaku stories that are an AU, one-shot, and multi chaptered. IAnd one of those will include lemon(s) or maybe all of them. I don't know when I'll get around to posting them but I know it will be after I am finished with this story and Conceiving With You.
And I promise that I will update my other story right after this. I can't help it; my muse has bitten me in the butt. I like keep cranking out chapters because I already wrote the ending – w00t – and I have the general idea of where I want the rest of the fic to go. And yes for those of you who asked about the almost rape scene, that does have a greater purpose, not just to let Genma look cool( or somewhat). And yes I will serve you more Genma to all you Senbon loving fans. And yes I hate Genma as much as you do (Team Sasuke fans. Haha) in this chapter. But its hard to stay mad at him when I am the one who wrote it out. LOL. Review, please. With sugar. Now I have to go meet up with the boyfriend.
Surmise