Drabble Two: Falling
Having a pretty girl as your teammate sometimes got its disadvantage, especially when the girl was bossy, troublesome and could drive you mad – forget that you've known her almost all your life. 'Cause some things just won't change and Shikamaru and Chouji were well aware of that. There came a point in their lives when they realized they could have fallen in love with her anytime and knowing that it was the worst thing ever happen in their lives, the duo thought it was best if they take some precautions before the most feared thing happen. So every time when it was just the two of them (and it usually at the rooftop, their cloud-watching spot) the topic about 'How to Avoid from Falling in Love with Yamanaka Ino' never ceased from their discussion.
Their conversation always started like this:
"Have you noticed that dog-boy Kiba was ogling Ino the other day? He looks like his eyes are going to fall from its sockets." Chouji looked mildly terrified.
"I swear Neji Byakuganing her when she went past him the day we come across Team Gai," Shikamaru muttered in somewhat irritable tone. "No, don't tell me I was wrong. I know what I saw. And I'm sure that girly-boy's name is Neji."
Chouji laughed bitterly. "Even Lee seems like he was serenading her on her birthday party –"
"Our birthday party," Shikamaru corrected.
"– singing something about beautiful flower in his springtime of youth… I've told you he's mental. I thought he likes Sakura…he still likes her, right?"
"Search me. Shino that bug freak seems drawn to her too. I know flowers attract bugs but this is a different case…"
"Those sempais – Izuma and Kotetsu – cornered me one day, asking about her," Chouji recalled gloomily. "They were desperate to know her!"
"They're troublesome, I tell you. But don't give up information though."
It was weird to hear Shikamaru and Chouji talked bad things about other people but not many knew that they were very protective of their female teammate (even they were unaware of that!). It was unbelievable, seeing Shikamaru and Chouji considered caring about Ino troublesome. But it was the truth.
"How come half of Konoha are so deeply in love with her?" Shikamaru voiced his annoyance.
"Shikamaru," Chouji said in a matter-of-fact tone. "Since we were little kids, we both know the fact that she's pretty and when she grow up, she's going to be very, very pretty. Guess other people realize that now."
"I guess," Shikamaru was staring at a spot in the sky. "Even that stoic-face Neji notices…"
The boys sat straight abruptly. Their breaths stuck in their throats.
Then slowly, both turned their faces facing each other, eyes widening.
"If Neji could fall in love with her –"
"– then it's only a matter of time before we –"
"– could've fallen in love with her ourselves," Shikamaru finished, looking aghast. "No, no way…"
"Yeah," Chouji nodded. "There's no way we could've make her our girlfriend – special girlfriend, Shikamaru…no way… She's bossy…"
"Troublesome."
"Loud."
"Pain in the ass."
"A nightmare."
"True."
Their eyes locked for several seconds, each looking like they had swallow a cockroach. Their faces turned white.
"It's a wonder we still haven't feel for her yet," Chouji muttered.
"Maybe it's because we knew her too well?" Shikamaru suggested.
Chouji nodded gloomily.
"We have to do something," Shikamaru said. "Anything that could help us from falling in love with her."
"Any suggestion?" Chouji asked hopefully.
Shikamaru shot a helpless look, shaking his head. "We'll think of something."
They had spent countless days searching for the right solution but found none. Even the genius Shikamaru was clueless. Chouji kept suggesting useless things. Meanwhile, the blonde in question never noticed their dilemma.
She met them everyday for training and every passing second seemed like life threatening. Shikamaru and Chouji tried so hard to avoid her beautiful face and ignore her dazzling smile from reaching their hearts. It was difficult for them when Ino was being nice and sweet (because it was easy to fall for her then) but thankfully their ignorance set her on fire.
She went bombastic.
"What's wrong with you guys?" She boomed when their eyes weren't focus on her when she was talking. "Do I look like a ghost or something?"
Their answers came as mumbles while their eyes still everywhere but her face and Ino was filled with rage.
She showed no mercy. She bossed them all day.
But maybe Shikamaru and Chouji was so used to her bossing that they found it natural to follow her every demand. Of course they felt scared when she yelled at them from the top of her lungs but that still wasn't enough as a precaution.
"So have you thought of the solution yet?" Shikamaru's bored voice cracked the silence one afternoon. He was on his back; his hands tucked under his head and eyes transfixed on the masses of white roamed freely above. His companion, Akimichi Chouji was sitting cross-legged on the wooden plank by his side, eating potato chips. They were cloud-gazing at their usual spot.
The bigger of the two paused mid-air, as the question hit him squarely in the face. He quickly whipped his face around to watch his best friend's expression and the sight made him chuckle. Shikamaru frowned, "What?"
"You look like your mom beat the hell out of you. Don't tell me you haven't got the solution yet?"
"Why, you sound like you've found one."
Chouji nodded, shrugging. "I do."
"No way," Shikamaru jerked up. "Even I didn't get it – how?"
"It's easy when you don't think hard about it," Chouji answered calmly. "It comes naturally."
"So what's your solution?" Shikamaru asked eagerly.
"That's simple; I just thought of her as a vegetable and the feeling goes."
"A vegetable?!"
"It really works. You ought to try it. Now every time I think about her, I just feel some nasty, yucky feeling." Chouji pretended to throw up. "You know for me vegetable is not that delicious."
"Yeah… But how?"
"Okay, every time you start to think how beautiful she is, or how nice her hair smells, or how you love seeing her smile, or whenever she cross your mind, don't let yourself get carried away. Wipe those images from your mind and picture her as something you dislike instead, something you found gross.
"Imagine she's your favorite food. I like to eat BBQ meat, chicken, burger, ramen…so every time I think about Ino, I just swap her with a big, chubby, green cabbage – something I absolutely hate. Trust me; it kills my appetite."
"Does it work?"
"Oh yeah," Chouji grinned. "Now I found her gross."
"Okay, it doesn't hurt to try," Shikamaru shrugged and closed his eyes. He saw Ino and thought about his favorite food which was mackerel and kelp and quickly swapped her image into a rotten cabbage.
For a split second, he felt some kind of bitter feelings in his throat and he almost gagged but then the visual changed. From an ugly cabbage, it turned into Ino once again and when Shikamaru forced his mind to turn her back into a vegetable, she turned into a small, fresh, red tomato instead.
"It doesn't work," Shikamaru opened his eyes. "Instead of thinking her as a cabbage, she turned into a tomato. And it's a cute one, too."
Chouji didn't laugh. "Oh, man that's bad. Cute, red tomato?"
"I guess food doesn't work for me."
Chouji thought for a second. "Okay, let's try this. What is the thing you love the most? Watching clouds! Say, if you are going to fall in love with Ino, then you cannot watch the clouds anymore for the rest of your life."
"And why's that?"
"'cause she wouldn't let you! She will drag you everywhere for shopping and she'll make you carry those shopping bags! Worse, she'll make you pay!"
Shikamaru straightened up. "That's troublesome." Compared to tailing a girl shopping and watching clouds, the latter sounded much, much better.
So he closed his eyes once again and imagined. He pictured himself watching clouds and soon Ino came and dragged him away. They spent countless hours shopping and now his arms were laden with enormous shopping bags and his wallet in her hands was shrinking…
Then the images vanished and changed with scenery of a hill. He was watching clouds but not alone. Ino was lying beside him; her head on his shoulder, her heavenly hair spilled on his chest, her pale arm draped around his waist. She was close, so close…
Shikamaru jerked open his eyes and sighed. "It's not working. I pictured her watching clouds with me instead."
Chouji groaned. "You are falling, Shikamaru."
"And like I allow myself," Shikamaru grunted. "It's working at the beginning then the pictures will change. As always. My mind is used to that kind of thing."
"Right, you're a genius. You could predict 200 moves in milliseconds. It's not a surprise those images change spontaneously because it's just natural."
"Sometimes I just hate this brain of mine," Shikamaru moaned.
"But don't let it drag you down," Chouji cheered. "Come on, let's try another. How about shougi? Okay, if you are to fall in love with Ino, then you cannot play shougi for the rest of your life because she hates that boring game and will slam your face on the board if she catches you play."
Shikamaru closed his eyes once again. He saw a shougi board between him and a faceless opponent and he was just about to make a victorious move when suddenly Ino appeared from nowhere, her face red with anger and with monstrous force, she slammed his face onto the board, the pieces flew everywhere, some of it cut his face, his cheeks bled…
Then just like before, the scene changed. He was still battling the faceless opponent when Ino came but this time she didn't look angry anymore. Her face glowed with happiness as she smiled widely at him and he realized that she was actually cheering him. When he won, she gathered him in her arms and gave him a tight, big hug and her mouth searched his…
Shikamaru opened his eyes and shook helplessly. "She was cheering me."
Chouji smacked his forehead. "Can't you just focus? It's not that hard!"
Of course with someone with a simple mind like Chouji could focus on one thing easily. But for someone who had a complex mind like Shikamaru found it was hard to do. He was so used to predicting moves that whatever he was thinking always spun and twirled, changing rapidly.
"I just need practice," Shikamaru scowled. He was pissed at himself.
"Maybe," Chouji agreed. "I had to practice a couple of times myself. But let's do that later. I'm starving!"
"You just had snack," Shikamaru pointed at the unfinished chips.
"Yeah, but it's lunchtime. Let's go to Yakiniku! Or should we go to Ichiraku?"
They got up and walked down the stairs, discussing something else. Chouji mentioned what they should eat and Shikamaru suggested they order usual set. They walked past the shops and as they rounded a corner, an image of a girl they avoid to see these days was walking in opposite direction accompanied by someone with bubblegum pink hair.
Instantly, their jaws dropped and their eyes threatened to fall out its sockets.
But their focus wasn't on the striking pink head. It was on the girl in purple outfit.
Beside Sakura, Ino was talking animatedly while carrying a dozen shopping bags in her arms. Like her companion, she looked very happy and very energetic. Her whole body was glowing and her dazzling smile never left her face. She looked ten times more beautiful than usual.
But her beauty wasn't the factor that attracted Shikamaru and Chouji's attention. It was something else; specifically, her body.
Obviously she and Sakura just came back from shopping and she had changed her old clothes with new ones on the spot. The outfit she wore certainly left little to the imagination. Her midriff was bare; free from bandages, her smooth arms were uncovered from their usual arm warmers and her legs…Kami-sama…every inch of her long, creamy-white, hair-free legs were exposed to their naked eyes. Every step she took beckoned every eye on the street and within a minute, everybody had their eyes on Ino.
Her ironed fringe seemed to block half of her view because she didn't seem to notice that every male was staring at her. She was even unaware of the sharp gazes of her own teammates as she walked past them. And she didn't realize that the said gazes still burned the back of her skull as their owners turned their body following her direction.
Shikamaru and Chouji were drowning into Ino's lustful fantasy. Now they knew why half of Konoha were in love with her. She was just so…tempting.
Chouji was the first to resurface. He blinked his eyes a few times and after making sure he was still breathing, he hurriedly forced the image of delicious Ino out of his mind and replaced her with a big, chubby, green cabbage instead. He even added a worm as an effect.
And his method worked. Shuddering and gagging, Chouji opened his eyes and the second sight of Ino in that outfit didn't amaze him anymore. Quite pleased with himself, he turned to Shikamaru.
And froze.
Shikamaru looked like he was hypnotized. His small, dark eyes were wide and his mouth was slightly open. He wasn't breathing. His gaze was transfixed on Ino's fading blond hair and he seemed like he was going to stay like that forever if Chouji didn't do something.
"Shikamaru!" Chouji quickly shook his best friend's body. Desperation was all over him. "Wake up, WAKE UP! You are falling!"
But Shikamaru was still soulless.
"She's not a cute, red tomato! She's a rotten, green cabbage!" Chouji shouted like mad. "Wake up, Shikamaru! She's not delicious! She's green and she's chubby! She's a cabbage! CABBAGE, YOU HEAR ME!
"She's not cloud-watching with you but she drags you around shopping! USING YOUR MONEY! She won't let you play shougi! She slams your face on the board! Come back, Shikamaru! She's not cheering you but she's beating the hell out of you! She's dangerous and she's ugly! She's not delicious! She's a cabbage – no – SHE'S AN UGLY EGGPLANT!"
But it was effortless. It was obvious that Shikamaru was falling.
"SHIKAMARU!" Chouji bellowed for the last time. "Come back! Forget about her! She's a troublesome girl, a pain in the ass, A NIGHTMARE! You wouldn't want to fall in love with her because that would be your death sentence! She'll make a troublesome girlfriend! She'll make your life even more troublesome! She'll boss you for a lifetime! Shikamaru! COME BACK!"
The said chuunin didn't respond. His gaze was still transfixed forward, hypnotized.
Chouji stared at his best friend helplessly. It was too late.
Shikamaru had fallen.