I speed down the road away from her gripping my steering wheel so hard that I think for sure I am going to snap it off. I glance down at my odometer and notice that I am taking my baby, my Vette, down the parish roads faster than I have ever dared before. I have always loved to drive fast but I have never been foolish by any means. Going nearly two hundred down unpaved roads is not exactly the smartest thing in the world to do, even if I am a Vampire, if I crash I most likely would survive but anything could happen.

Perfect example I heard a story last year about a vampire out on the west coast somewhere, Oregon coast I think, who got thrown from their car when it crashed and was impaled on a rather large tree causing there final death. It was all very odd; there was a lot of if only they hadn't done this or that, or if only they had landed a little higher or lower. I remember that it was a huge shock in our world. I had just scoffed; we are not Gods just harder to kill humans in a new shell. Humans deal with sort of tragedy on a daily basis why should it be so different for us.

I ease off the accelerator and slow to a more reasonable speed, it was just the effect of that woman. THAT DAMN WOMAN! SOOKIE STACKHOUSE, I cannot understand her. I never understand where she is coming from, one minute things with her are perfect the next she is screaming and crying and throwing me out of her house. I hit the steering wheel hard and I hear it moan in protest. We were having a perfect evening, I took her to a fancy dinner, (Pam's idea, with her obsession with dear Abby I figured whatever advise she can give me on human emotions is right on the money) then we go dancing and my beloved wife, I scoff and roll my eyes at that thought, seems to be having a marvelous time.

I was so anxious, I had been planning this night for weeks, the big night when I would ask Sookie to be mine in human law as well as vampire, to renew our vows in front of the Gods and everyone. To finally move in with me in my home, to take her rightful place by my side, we were already pretty much living together, and although the words had never been spoken aloud I knew that she loved me more than anything. So I set out to create this perfect evening for us, romantic dinner, dancing, (Sookie loved to dance and I loved watching her dance, her face always glowed with a jua de vive while she danced that amazed me. It was part of the reason I love… loved her so much, her zest for life rivaled my own.) then a long drive thru the country under a full moon with the top down. While I was out with her my child would slip into Sookie's home and light hundreds of candles, light a fire, and spread rose petals throughout the entire house.

The night was going perfectly, as we pull up to her home we can just make out the flicker of the candles and fire threw the glass windows in her living room. I notice Sookie stiffen with concern and push her brows together, I could tell by the look on her face that she was "scanning" the inside of her home for the presence of others with her "disability" as she likes to call it. When she notices that no one is there she looks over at me and I just smile lovingly down at her and she visibly relaxes. I pull around to the back of her house and park next to her car, (ugh when I make her my wife in truth that will be the first thing to go.) I want her to take in the romantic gestures I have for her in increments instead of all at once. That is the reason I had decided to park in the back where she normally enters instead of in the front as I always do.

I kill the engine and speed around to her side of the car with my vampire speed before she even has an opportunity to lay one delicate finger on her seatbelt to release her. I lean over her, unbuckle her quickly and sweep her up into my arms bridal style, and carry her through her enclosed back porch and into the kitchen. The entire time she giggles softly, it's always a chancy thing with her carrying her like this, sometimes she seems to absolutely love the "Rhett and Scarlett moments" as she likes to call them, and other times it seems to infuriate her saying things like "I am not a damsel in distress needing to be rescued."That woman is a ball of contradictions which is why I am never sure what to expect from her. I know she loves the idea that she is so small compared to me it makes her feel safe, I felt this many times through our bond, but at other times when I have gone out of my way to put myself in front of danger for her she explodes exponentially at the gesture of my, what is the word she uses, high handedness at protecting her. Fortunately for me, tonight she seemed to be enjoying the gesture; perhaps my child was right all the extra wooing of the restaurant and dancing and moonlight drive was just what human women needed to be soft and yielding.

I set her on her feet gently when we enter the kitchen and place a reverent kiss upon her lips; she is a Goddess and deserves to be worshipped as such. I feel her lust roll through our bound but I pull away as gently as possible. I would not have my plan ruined by my inability to keep it in my pants; I want everything to be perfect. She pouts at me a little and all I can do is laugh gently at her obvious disappointment. I spin her on her heel, point her in the direction of the living room, and pat her butt lightly to get her moving in that general direction. I slip one hand in my pocket moving my fingers stealthily over the ring I had bought for her, I rub it gently over and over again, and Gods I cannot wait to see the look on her face. She followed the trail of rose petals out into the living room and I could hear her gasp as she took in the scene before her. Pam had really out done herself I would have to give her a huge bonus maybe something shiny and pretty for her to play with.

On every possible surface of the living room there where hundreds no thousands of candles, there soft light glimmering softly dancing back and forth across the room, the flames move back and forth hypnotically with every stir of air, even the flames seem drawn to Sookie's very presence in the room. She truly was a canary in a coal mine everything and everyone was drawn to her shining presence. I only wished that she would see it, she never seemed to see herself very clearly. She stumbled foreword a few more steps to the quilt, the one that she had tucked around me when I was under the curse of Hallow to keep my feet warm, that was spread before the roaring fire. I knew the meaning of that quilt in front of that fire was not lost on her.

I was suddenly so nervous; I bit my lip over and over again drawing a little blood with every bite. If I was a human I would have been pouring with sweat and my heart would have been racing, she turned to me and her angelic voice broke my nervous bout. "Oh Eric this is absolutely beautiful, I couldn't ask for a more perfect end to a perfect evening."

She positively beamed at me and I felt my heart just ache with that look, this was the reason I was going through with this silly little ritual. I knew it would make her happy and I wanted nothing more than to have her look at me like that for the rest of my undead life. "Well I can think of a better way to end this evening. It would seem a shame if we let all these beautiful romantic gestures go to waste by simply calling it a night." She waggled her eyebrows suggestively at me purring in her most seductive tone of voice. I was more tempted than ever to just throw her down right then and there and fuck her until she passed out.

She took one step forward and I took one step back shaking my head. She pushed her eyebrows together obviously confused by my reluctance to take her. I cleared my throat nervously and said. "Sookie." I stopped damn my stomach felt like it was doing flip flops and my heart felt like it was going to leap out of my chest. 'What if she rejected me? I worried suddenly. Why would she? I admonished myself, she loves me I know she does. Come on get your act together your ERICE FUCKING NORTHMAN SHERIFF BAD ASS VAMPIRE you can do this!' I took a very unnecessary breath and started again.

"Sookie, this is not easy for me but I have something to say to you and I need you to listen."

She looked visibly concerned but shook her head in the affirmative and said lightly. "What's wrong baby?"

Baby, again with the friggin' pet names, that one in particular really got my ire but I just ignored it and pushed through. "Sookie nothing is wrong, everything is fine, no perfect. Sense the first moment I met you I knew you would be mine. I have worked long and hard these many years to bring you to my side and make you mine. I have fought long and hard and finally we are together and everything is perfect. You are perfect in every way Sookie Stackhouse."

I paused briefly and she looked confused she opened her mouth to say something and I just cut her off. "No Sookie let me finish," 'Okay Northman it's now or never just tell her how you feel.' "Pam says that part of the reason you are so recalcitrant towards me and refuse to yield to me fully is because I am ignorant in the ways of human woman. She say's the best way to get you to be mine fully is to make a huge romantic gesture."

I kneel in front of her and look up into her eyes. "So," I pull the ring, which I had spent so much time picking out trying to fine just the right one, out of my pocket and hold it up to her. "Sookie Stackhouse be my wife in the eyes of your human laws, enough of this silly little charade that we put on. Let me take you from here and care for you properly and buy you beautiful things, quit that infernal job with the shifter, take your rightful place at my side as my queen."

I had expected Sookie to throw herself at me in happiness and joy with this proposal but instead she just stands there and looks at me obviously dumfounded, 'well of course she is stunned I'm Eric Fucking Northman God's gift to woman.' I probe the bond gently to see what is going through that pretty little brain of hers and find nothing, well that was weird and then all at once it hit me her anger. It hit me so hard that I actually fell back slightly. She took one step towards me and said venomously. "You want to marry me Eric?"

"Sookie." I said confused. "I just told you that I did, didn't I make myself clear? We are already married technically speaking so the gesture of getting married in the human laws is really unnecessary but I know that it is important to you. Besides, it does not look good that you refuse to live with me, and sense I know that you will not consent to 'live in sin' as you so eloquently put it without being my bride under human law I figured I would remedy that."

She held her hands in front of her in a stop gesture as if she could halt the feelings or evening in place. "I do not understand what the problem is here Sookie." I was starting to get angry. I rose to my feet and took one step towards her, towering over her tiny little frame. "You are mine, you have been mine for some time now, we are already husband and wife, we know each other in every way, why are you being so …" I searched desperately for the word I was looking for in English, she had me so irritated that my brain was refusing to think in anything but my native tongue. "dåraktig, I mean foolish. Damn it woman YOU ARE MINE WHAT IS THE PROBLEM! I thought that this is what you would want?

"Is this not every little girls dream to have the man in her life purpose and bring her to his side, shelter her, care for her, protect her? Is this not what I already do for you? I am YOUR BONDED ALREADY, I have sheltered you, clothed you, protected you from harm whenever I could, and I make love to you like no other man ever could. I do everything for you!!! I put you first in all things it should not be so difficult for you to give me a little concession and agree to be my wife. I am tired of looking like the fool in front of my people because I cannot keep my human in check."

She just stood there staring at me for a long time; I could feel her emotions careening around inside of her so quickly that I could not make heads of tales of them. After a long moment she just bobbed her head up and down slowly and said. "Do you even love me Eric?"

"Sookie are you kidding me, you are killing me here, and how could you even ask me that? I just went through with this whole idiotic custom to ask you to be my wife in human law because it is what YOU would want."

She rolled her eyes at me. "See that's what I thought. You can't even say it, you didn't ask me to marry you. You commanded me to marry you."

I cut her off immediately. "WHY DOES EVERY THING HAVE TO BE A FIGHT WITH YOU WOMAN?! I SPENT YEARS CHASING YOU TO GET YOU TO BE MINE AND THEN YEARS MORE GETTING YOU TO A PLACE WHERE YOU WILL LET ME LIVE WITH YOU AND NOW, I DO THIS FOR YOU." I gesture around wildly at the room. "AND YOU ADMONISH ME FOR MY EFFORTS, I DID THIS FOR YOU. DO I LOVE YOU, GIVE ME A BREAK SOOKIE. I DO NOT HAVE TO TELL YOU HOW I FEEL! YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL IN OUR BOND!" I turned away from her pacing back and forth angrily like a large cat stuck in a cage for far too long and for me that cage is Sookie Stackhouse.

"You just don't get it Eric, in all the years we have been together you have never once, not once said those three magic words." I hear her voice break slightly damn it now she was going to cry, I hate it when she cry's. I turned towards her to pull her to me and comfort her but she just takes a huge leap backwards and shakes her head. "Just get out Eric, just go, I don't need you to take care of me, I don't want you to come around here anymore, you don't understand a thing about me."

I was in complete and absolute shock. "Sookie…"

"Don't … just don't… just go Eric."

"SOOKIE!" I was getting angry again.

She stalked forward and slapped me hard as her little fist could manage across my jaw. "JUST GO ERIC, GET IT THROUGH THAT THICK VIKING SKULL OF YOURS I DON'T WANT YOU ANYMORE JUST FUCKING GO!!!!"

I threw myself into the night unbelievably pissed and this is how I got to where I am at this moment careening down a parish road at break neck speeds. Tonight should have been the happiest night of my life instead my woman had just thrown me out on my ass. At least she hadn't rescinded my invitation this time. "AGGHHH" I scream into the night. I do not understand that woman. I clicked the radio on hoping that I could get my mind off of Sookie but again my efforts are thwarted because that DAMN WOMAN had been messing with my radio and it was on some crappy contemporary station that she loves.

Just as I was getting ready to flip the station a haunting and yet sexy woman's voice comes over the radio the woman's voice is quite lovely so I stay my hand. 'I don't mind it, I don't mind at all, It's like you're the swing set, And I'm the kid that falls.' Wow now that is perfect poetry, most modern music does not speak to me, and maybe it was just everything that I was going through tonight with Sookie but I completely understood what this woman was saying. I truly felt like one of those tea cup humans falling off from a large height and hurting myself badly with no one around to pick me up and kiss my wounds away. The person who had always picked me up to kiss away my troubles had slapped me and thrown me out of our home.

'It's like, the way we fight, The times I've cried, We come to blows, And every night, The passion's there, So it's got to be right, Right?'

"Yeah!" I said out loud to no one really, or maybe I was speaking to this mysterious woman who was singing straight to my heart. Sookie and I had so much passion and love for each other no matter how many times we fought we still, no matter what happened, had this amazing connection. We were meant to be together our undeniable passion attested to our connection. Even now with all that was occurring I wanted her here in my arms making love to me, screaming my name into the night as I plunge into her over and over.

'No I don't believe you, When you say don't come around here no more, I won't remind you, You said we wouldn't be apart, No I don't believe you, When you say you don't need me anymore, So don't pretend to, Not love me at all.'

Wait what, why would she not believe her lover if they were telling her that they don't love her and that they don't want them around anymore. Hadn't Sookie said almost this exact same thing to me? I thought about this a bit, Sookie even used to tell me that we would never be apart that she would always be mine, why wouldn't this woman not take her lovers words for anything but truth I just didn't get it?

'I don't mind it, I still don't mind at all, It's like one of those bad dreams, When you can't wake up, It looks like you've given up, You've had enough, But I want more, No I won't stop, Because I just know, You'll come around, Right?'

It did feel like a bad dream, all of this crap with Sookie tonight felt like a horribly bad dream that I just wanted to wake up from. I wanted to just wake up and find myself in her arms right now after having made love to her all night. I pull off to the side of the road and leaned my head against my steering wheel and begin to sob. How could she do this to me? I love her so much; I just wanted her to be happy. Hell who am I kidding, I wanted her to marry me, I wanted to hear her say 'Yes Eric I will marry you and spend the rest of my life with you.' Could I fix this? Did I want to? Was she right had I gone about it the wrong way? Did I truly not understand my beloved?

'No I don't believe you, When you say don't come around here no more, I won't remind you, You said we wouldn't be apart, No I don't believe you, When you say you don't need me anymore, So don't pretend to, Not love me at all.'

Wait, I caught a word this time during the refrain that I hadn't caught before, this woman said pretend. Pretend? Was Sookie pretending that she didn't want me because of I had fucked up some how? Had I hurt her so badly that the only way for her to cope was to pretend she didn't care as this woman was insuating her own lover did in this song? Did humans really do this to spare themselves pain? It had been so long sense I had been human that I was struggling to remember if things had been this way in my life. The world was a very different place now then it was then though. We didn't marry for love we married because we had to. It was an added bonus if you fell in love with your partner then.

'Just don't stand there and watch me fall, Because I, because I still don't mind at all'

I was falling and hard, in several ways. I fell the moment that I saw her the first time she came into my bar. I fell every time she was strong and brave. I fell when she saved me and Pam in Rode's. I fell every time she stood by me no matter how selfish I was being. None of those things were negative though, I fell in a good way, I fell in love with my little blonde telepathic fairy. Now I was falling on my ass hard because of her rejection. But why had she rejected me? Gods this whole thing was an eerie echo of my very thoughts earlier this evening.

'It's like the way we fight, The times I've cried, We come to blows, And every night The passion's there, So it's got to be right, Right? No I don't believe you, When you say don't come around here no more, I won't remind you, You said we wouldn't be apart, No I don't believe you, When you say you don't need me anymore, So don't pretend to, Not love me at all. I don't believe you.'

The woman's eerie melody comes to fruition and the last notes flit off into the warm, sticky Louisiana night. A new more upbeat song comes over the waves and I click off my stereo. I slowly examine the words of the song. The woman doesn't believe her lover because despite all that they had been through she knew with a surety of the soul that they belonged together. Didn't I KNOW that exact same thing? I thought that Sookie had too. This song seemed to be my destny to hear tonight, it was like the Gods reached down and put it in that woman's head to sing directly to me on tonight, the night of my lovers rejection. What was this song truly saying to me? Why had tonight gone so horribly wrong?

I slowly played over the events of the evening in my head, this time though I tried to remember what it was that was coming through the bond as I had made my statement to Sookie. I started at the very beginning where I had got down on one knee in front of my beloved. I moved over that image slowly her face was ecstatic seeing me there kneeling in front of her. I probed my memory for what had been coming though the bond and found a great happiness there. So why did she reject me if she was so happy? I could tell from the emotions in the memory that she was excited and knew exactly that I was going to do and could barely contain her joy at the prospect. This made no sense.

I played through the memory in almost fast forward but I isolated all my attention on Sookie's face and her emotions that where screaming at me through the bond. I had ignored it at the time so caught up in myself and my reasoning. Her emotions went from happiness to extreme sadness at my words; with every word that I spoke to her I felt her heart break just a little bit. Then from sadness it careened into anger but there was distinct disappointment there as well. What the hell?

I quickly restarted from the beginning this time listening to not only what Sookie was feeling but what I was saying. I examined every single nuance of every single thing I was saying in slow motion and compared it side by side with Sookie's reactions. By the time I was done I was hitting my steering wheel hard and I heard a loud crack. "SHIT!" I totally fucked up and now to make my evening perfect I broke my car!

I threw open the bond and panicked, Sookie had to be in trouble with the things I was feeling coming through. I flew out of my car and flew towards her house at top speed. I was getting wave after wave of anger, fear, panic, and pain so much pain. I hadn't felt this kind of pain from my girl sense the fairy's had taken her over two years ago and tortured her for hours. I land quietly, just at the edge of her property and stealthily made my way up her property but the only scent that I could pick up was ours, hers and mine. No one else had been on this property that I could smell.

I searched the bond and knew she was still in the living room, as silent as I could I went to the window of the living room, if she was in trouble I didn't want whoever was doing this to her to know that I was there. I needed to assess the situation before I could act. Strategy after strategy flew through my head, I forced myself to focus I had to know exactly what I was facing before I could begin to move any of the pieces around the board.

When I finally reached my vantage point, I saw my beloved collapsed on the floor in front of fire. Tears were streaming in an unending river down her face, but no one was there with her in that room to be causing the feelings she was having, I was confused. I made a quick loop around the house floating from window to window trying to see if someone was hidden somewhere that I could not see. Sookie's pain was coming through the bond so thick it was palpable but no one was here. What the hell was going on?

I examined all the things I was getting from our bond more closely as I made my way back to the living room window. I just watched my beloved while I read through everything and took in what I was seeing first hand from her. I was examining things from every angle and I just wasn't getting anywhere closer to understanding what was going on. Perhaps I needed to look at this from a different angle. I closed my eyes and just let myself feel, I let myself ride the waves of not only Sookie's emotions but everything I was feeling and opening myself up to the human that Sookie had made of me.

After what felt like years but was probably only minutes I finally put two and two together and if I had a stake I would have sent myself to my final death right then and there. Sookie's heart was breaking into a million pieces, I had done this to her. She was right; I had never told her how I felt about her and in my arrogance I had always just made assumptions that she understood. Maybe she did but it wasn't enough. I could hear the words of the singer in my head. 'You've had enough, But I want more' she needed more. I was a selfish ass.

Without a thought I strode into the house and walked right up to her. She looked up at me clearly startled by my presence. She was a mess, her eyes where puffy and swollen, her nose was bright red bulbous and running, her hair was strewn in about a million directions and despite all of this in my eyes she was absolutely perfect she was still the Goddess that deserved to be cherished and loved. "Eric… what are you doing here?" she said shakily between sobs I could tell she was trying to compose herself because of my presence.

"I don't believe you." I said simply repeating the words of that siren on the radio.

"You … don't believe me, Eric what are you talking about?" She stuttered through her sobs.

"I don't believe that you don't want to marry me Sookie."

"Eric, please, I can't do this." I could hear the heart break in her voice and my own heart felt like it was being ripped out and trampled on just simply listening to that pain in her voice. I knew that I had done this to her, I had never hurt her so badly. I had done a lot of things to my beloved but I had never hurt her like this. I had never let her down when it mattered the most.

I fell to the floor in front of her and buried my head in her lap. "Please, Sook, please." I begged. I could feel her confusion screaming through the bond now.

"Please what Eric? I am sorry I am completely baffled here."

"By the Gods Sook do not apologize min älska."

"Eric?"

I cut her off. "Sook," I looked up at her, completely unashamed of the tears that I knew I now had streaming down my face. I watched the concern jump on her face instantly at seeing my pain, not only could I see it but I could feel it screaming louder than her own pain and grief that I knew was there. Oh Gods I was an ass at the first sign of my pain she pushed everything she was going through aside and instantly started to care for me. She wiped my face of my tears tenderly and I only started crying harder. "Pride goeth before the fall Sook."

I saw her stiffen in anger. "Eric Northman if you are saying that I am the one who was being PROUD SO HELP ME….." I pressed my lips to hers tenderly to stop her from screaming. I felt shock and surprise; I pulled back gently and looked at her.

"Not you Sook." I whispered. "It used to be your pride that got in our way, not tonight, not for a long time. It is my fault all my fault." A ragged sob tore from my chest and she just sat and watched me fall. Fuck how much was my life going to be like that damn song. "I fucked up Sook!"

She gasped. "Eric, you just cussed!"

"I cuss all the time Sook."

"No you don't." She almost giggled; I could hear the suppressed peals of laughter in her voice.

"I do you just never understand it because it is never in English. This is not the point ugghhhh."

"So what is the point Eric?" She said coolly, it sounded callous but I knew that her insides where practically doing the rumba.

"I don't believe you, when you said you don't want me to come around here anymore. I don't believe you said that you don't need me. I don't believe that you don't love me."

"Eric," she sighed. "that's not the point I was trying to make earlier."

"I know Sookie, like I said, I fucked up here. ME! THE GREAT AND MIGHTY ERIC FUCKING NORTHMAN!" I let my head fall into my hands ashamed of my actions. "The great and mighty Eric Northman. HA! What a joke. More like the fool of fools Eric the town idiot Northman."

I felt her run her fingers through my hair so softly, fuck I loved this woman. Why was I so proud? Why can't I just be honest and tell her how I feel? How is that I could be a thousand years old and be so stupid? I looked up at her beautiful spring blue eyes and my world spun just from looking at her. She was my everything; I never wanted to be without her. "I am an idiot."

She smiled a small little indulging smile and said. "You said that all ready baby."

I closed my eyes and just shook my head a little, again with that friggin' baby. Then I tried to picture my world without ever hearing her call me that again and another sob broke from me in a ragged howl. "I … I … I cannot live without you Sookie. I am an arrogant ass, I am a vampire and I always worry worry worry about appearances that is all I ever think about, that's all I have ever had to worry about. I can never allow myself to slip out of that façade." I look up at her again but all I saw in her eyes was kindness urging me on.

"Sookie, the one place I should be able to let that mask go is with you. I should trust you enough to let you see me, all of me. I should know better than to think that you of all people would judge me. Hell you love me for the monster that I am. Why would I be ignorant enough to think that you would not love the humanity that you have awoken in me? I am a fool.

"For years I told you, stop running from me, yield to me and your feelings for me, stopping being such a child and just admit how you feel. You fought me every inch of the way, but you stopped my Sookie. You stopped running but I did not, I did not even realize that until this night. I am an idiot.

"I set up this beautiful wonderful evening for you, not just because I knew it would make you happy but also because it makes me happy to see you happy and well because it was what I wanted for you. I wanted to be human with you tonight. Instead I let myself slip into my façade at the last minute because I was nervous and scared that you would reject me. I told you all the wrong things; it is not that any of them are not true it is just not the reality of why I wanted you to marry me. Why I still want you to marry me."

I fell silent for a moment trying to find the courage within myself to say what needed to be said. I laughed at myself, a thousand year old warrior who has faced more foes in battle and I was scared to death of a five foot four human woman who couldn't weigh much more than a hundred pounds soaking wet. I roared with laughter at that. "What is so funny?" she asked. I could hear the anger in her voice and I looked at her.

"I am scared to death of you."

Sookie gasped in disbelief. "You! Big bad scary vampire! Are scared of a tiny little blonde bar maid! Why do I not believe you? I am not even the tiniest bit scary. Not even a little. You could crush me with your pinkie if you wanted to."

I could hear the incredulity in her voice. Did she really not get it? I looked at her for a long moment and about fell over. She didn't, she truly did not understand. "Sookie, now I know I am an idiot."

She arched an eyebrow at me and I almost laughed, it was one of my favorite looks that I always gave her. Gods it looked cute as hell on her. How had she managed to pick up and imitate my mannerisms so perfectly? Oh yeah duh because this woman loves you more than anything in the entire world. "Well please explain to me what I must be too stupid to figure out because I don't get it." She spit out at me venomously.

"Sookie damn it." I growled. I took a deep breath. "First of all never ever call yourself stupid again; you are not stupid not even a little bit. Although I know you love to pretend to be and in many ways that shows an even greater intelligence in you because make sure that everyone around is disarmed by you and takes you for granted."

I watched as shock crossed her face. "How is it that you put it?" I thought for a minute about that little human saying I had heard her use. I growled in frustration. I imitated her trying to copy something she had once said to me and was extremely frustrated that I could not get it right. "My Gran always said sometimes hunny you need to serve yourself a big ol' helpin' of pie."

She giggled and said. "My Gran always used to say. In life sometimes you have to suck it up and serve yourself a big ol' helpin' of humble pie and move on."

"THAT'S IT!" I exclaimed. "I am going to be serving myself pie and telling you how I feel. I am going to be honest and forthright with you like I should have been a long time ago. I am going to take my own wise advice that I once gave to you and stop running from how I feel."

I sat there a minute trying to gather my thoughts and figure out my strategy I quickly start moving the pices around the board seeing every possible angle and outcome when she slapped my shoulder. "WHAT WAS THAT FOR!" I exclaimed.

"Your plotting, strategizing your next move, stop it, I don't want that, I want you to just feel and tell me what you are feeling."

"I told you I was an idiot."

"No," she said kindly. "you are not an idiot, well sometimes you can be short sighted when it comes to certain things but that isn't idiocy it's not the same thing."

"See you are brilliant." I beamed at her.

"Yes, yes I am smart and you know it, moving on." She laughed. "Don't strategize when it comes to what you feel Eric. That isn't the way it works. Either you feel something or you don't. No matter where you move the pieces on that board you have in your head your feelings are your feelings and no amount of strategy or preparation can indicate how I respond to said feelings. They just are what they are. Stop being a vampire and just be a man, no wait don't be a man either because men suck at expressing their emotions. Just dig down deep and find that soul inside you, that I know is there, and speak to me from that place. It will steer you in the right direction." She paused for a moment in quite contemplation and said. "You were right in one thing earlier." She confessed softly.

"And what would that be?" My curiosity was honestly peaked; I could not see any right in any of my actions earlier this evening.

She laughed. "I do know exactly what you feel because of the bond, but it's not enough Eric. I need to know, I need to hear it from you." I opened my mouth to protest but she just held up her hand for me to wait. "Do you know how I feel about you?"

"Well of course I do."

"How do you know?"

"Because of the bond of course, I feel everything you feel. You are a part of me and so I know exactly what you are feeling all of the time."

She shook her head at me closed her eyes and all of the sudden I couldn't feel my beloved anymore. "How do I feel Eric?"She kept her eyes shut tight concentrating.

"You shut down the bond how am I supposed to know how you are feeling?" I asked incredulously.

"Well, you could simply ask, or I could just tell you. One of the things I love most about being with you is that I don't have to hear you in my head all the time. I have to actually work at figuring out what you are thinking by either reading your body language or by simply asking you. I know that you will not ever directly lie to me so if I really want to know I simply ask. Most of the time though I don't have to because you are just forthright with me and tell me exactly what is going on in that pretty blonde Viking head of yours." She laughed, opened her eyes and I felt her emotions come back into me. I breathed a sigh of relief I hated that feeling of not having that pieces of her inside of me.

She laughed again. "See now I know exactly what you are feeling right at this moment. I felt the relief, that you felt when the bond reopened. Because I know you so well I would even care to hazard that without that piece of me there you felt incomplete."

I nodded once at her. "But, you didn't tell me things, I figured them out through the bond and our time together for the last four years. But it's not the same thing." She shook her head softly. "How can you truly know the depth of my emotions for you, the things I think and feel about you, you have never heard them pass my lips? Sure you may glean some from the bond and the years we have known each other but it's not always accurate. There have been lots of times where I have made assumptions and jumped to conclusions just by relying to heavily on the bond. For example if I thought that every time you felt a murderous rage sweep over you that you had killed someone there would be bodies littered from here to Asia.

"Just because you may feel something doesn't mean you act on those feelings or that those feelings are even genuine for long. Just because someone feels something at one point does not mean that they genuinely act on those feelings or even truly feel that way. People, vampires and humans alike feel a ton of different things every day. It's the way we act on and express those feelings that really matters." She sighed slightly.

"This is going to sound harsh and I know you came here to apologize but here are the things that I do know. I know you enjoy my companionship because you have told me so many times. I know you love having sex with me again because you have told me so. I know that you think I have a smoking hot body again because you have told me so. I know that you care in your own way you have showed me by doing some very thoughtful things for me over the years. I know that I am 'YOURS' but what does that really mean? I am your property." She rolled her eyes. "Beyond this I know nothing. You told me stop running from my feelings and I did a long time ago. I know how I feel about you. I never tell you though, simply because I am not going to blather on with my 'human' emotions to someone who is not willing or able to reciprocate those feelings."

I felt like she had just slapped me in the face, she wasn't being cruel just honest. She still had a kind loving look to her. She was simply expressing her feelings to me, and she was right, although I could read the blood bond that we shared I had had no idea that she felt this way. I shook my head sadly. "Sookie it is not easy for me."

"I know." She said simply and shrugged. "Why do you think I never push, I never ever ask, and I most certainly don't expect it. You are what you are. I cannot expect you to change for me, it would be unfair. I know that you have to be strong in front of the others because if you weren't they would kill you. I could never stand that so," she shrugged again. "I don't ask, and I don't push you into being something that you aren't. I expect nothing so when I do receive it is all that more precious to me."

"That does not seem very fair to you Sookie."

She shrugged and just smiled. "What am I really supposed to do Eric? You asked me to stop running from my feelings and face up to the facts. Fact one, I can't live without you in my life. Fact two, if something were to happen to you I don't know how I would go on. Fact three, you're always there for me, you always have been and you always will be as long as I allow it. Fact four …" she stopped hesitantly I could feel her fear at admitting whatever fact four was.

"Fact four?" I said questioningly.

"Shit in for a penny right?" she sighed again. "I fucking love you Eric Northman more than anything else in this world. I would give up everything if you asked me too. You have more power over me then you will ever truly understand." She sounded so strong and sure but I watched her little heart break as she said it, silent tears rolling down her cheeks.

I gasp slightly. "What?" she says confused.

"Sookie Stackhouse you just cussed." A huge grin spread across her face and my heart just melted with that smile, Gods that smile meant the world to me.

"I cuss all the time you just don't ever hear it." She said giggling. Gods and that giggle, it was heavenly. I sigh deeply. "What is it hunny?" she asks concerned.

"I think for the first time, I wish you could hear my thoughts."

"OH GOD ERIC why on earth would you want that." She asked truly shocked. "I don't think I could take all the scheming and plotting and machinations that I know must occur in your head."

I laugh slightly; see it was moments like this I wanted her to see from my perspective. She is so fucking smart, when she allows those walls down, which only occurs with very few people myself included and always in private, she is so perceptive and intelligent. For the sake of the Gods she just made and extremely intelligent statement using a word that most people would never even understand let along use properly. Machinations indeed, this girl was perfect in every way. I tilt my head at her slightly taking in the entire picture of her. "Gods Sook, you are perfect in every way." She rolled her eyes at me. "Don't you roll your eyes at me you are!"

"There is no possible way you could mean that Eric, goodness sake you must have been with hundred's, no scratch that thousands maybe millions of women in your time. Hell you probably have known and slept with every beautiful intelligent woman throughout history, except maybe Cleopatra, I think she was before you time." She joked.

I push my eyebrows together in confusion probing the bond to see if she was sincere and I was shocked to see that she was. I mean I had gotten the sense before that she felt this way when I had said things like this to her but she had never verbalized those feelings. "You are serious aren't you?" I just wanted to be absolutely sure I was reading this right; after all she had just lectured me about asking about the feelings in the bond.

"About what?" she asked confused.

"You do not believe me when I say that you are perfect."

"Oh come off it Eric," she laughed slightly. "there is no way possible that you could truly think that. I mean really, I know that we are going to make up and move past this whole incident tonight we always do. You don't have to try and flatter me in order to get in my pants." She was joking around sort of but she was also absolutely sincere.

I shook my head sadly. "I am an idiot." She raised her eyebrow at me and opened her mouth and I put up my hand to stop her this time. "Sookie… if I wanted to just get into your pants as you so eloquently stated there are many other ways to accomplish this then to pay you such a profound compliment. That is not even a compliment really it is just a simple fact. The idea that you do not see this for what it is and that I am sincere and honest in my statement shows me how much of an idiot that I am."

I shook my head at her again and she said. "I don't understand Eric. Help me out here because I am out of my depth as to what you are trying to say."

"I know." I said sadly. "This is how I know I am an idiot, an imbecile, and a pitiful excuse for a lover and partner." She looked well and truly lost with this last statement.

"Eric I…"

"No, don't." I place my hand on her cheek and cup her beautiful face, I feel fresh tears start to slide out of my eyes and she quickly dashes them away for me. "Sookie how can you not think I am sincere when I say you are perfect? You are right I have been with many, many women so I am the perfect judge. I know what I am talking about. You are smart and funny and loyal and beautiful, you are hard working and sincere, your sexual prowess is matched by no one I have ever been with, and when you cum you are the most extraordinary creature on the planet."

She blushed deeply and I admonished her. "Stop that, do not blush it is true and nothing to be ashamed of. You know that I never lie to you, that I am always honest and sincere in everything that I say you said this yourself. Listen to my words and hear their honesty, listen to the bond and feel that what I am saying is the truth. For the love of all the Gods Sookie you are the most perfect being I have ever known.

"When you walk into a room I feel the entire world just slip away my entire being revolves around you. You are my sun, my moon, my stars, my earth; you are the air that I breathe and the water that I drink, the food that give me substance to live each and every day."

"Eric, you don't eat or drink water or food and you most certainly don't breathe." She joked.

"Do not make light of what I am saying Sookie I am serious." I said angrily. "When you laugh everyone stops and listens because your laughter is the most pure and perfect thing ever and everyone laughs with you simply because they would die if they could not hear that laughter again. I would die if I could never hear that laughter again. When you smile it causes the heavens to open and angels to sing at its beauty, the flowers grow and bend to you with the pure sunshine that radiates from you when you truly smile. You could bring down kings and nations with that most pure smile. I would meet my final death if I thought for one moment that you could never smile again.

"Every person you meet loves you the moment that you open that perfect mouth. I have watched you bend the most stoic and distant of men and women to your will by simply being you. You are gracious and kind and everyone respects you. You continually save those whom I would deem unworthy of your attentions, time and time again."

She waved her hands back and forth slightly. "Stop."

"I will not, you cannot take the truth and it only endears me to you more. You truly believe that you are unworthy of me saying such things to you; it embarrasses me that you think this. I think," I tilt my head slightly probing the bond truly for the first time sorting through and thinking about all of her actions over the last four years. "By the Gods Sookie you think you are unworthy of me." She blushed slightly. I laugh bitterly. "How could you think such a thing? Me a vampire, I have done terrible things in my long life, how could you think you are unworthy of me?"

I paused waiting for her answer and she just stared at me. "Answer me woman!" I demanded and she jumped just a little and I could hear her heart race with a small amount of fear. Even after all this time and I still get this reaction. I sigh deeply.

"Because you are you Eric, Jesus just look at you." I raised one eyebrow at her. "Well let's see, you're funny and intelligent and god's gift to women in the sack to say the least and you are drop dead gorgeous, no pun intended. You're powerful and loyal everyone that works with you loves you even if they never say it. And I am just me, plain old crazy Sookie Stackhouse barmaid extraordinaire or I should say not so extraordinary. I am just a simple girl from a little back water hole in the road, nothing special. How could I possibly not think that someone like you couldn't do better than someone like me?

"Sookie…" I was stunned. "Do you really think of yourself this way?"

"Well yeah, how else would I think of myself Eric?" she said obviously confused.

"Sookie, do you not believe me when I said the things I said to you?"

"No, not really, I mean I know you believe them." She shrugs.

"Do you think me stupid?"

"Of course not Eric." She gasps.

"Would you say that I am a poor judge of character or that I am unable to see through the veil of bull shit that is constantly laid before me in my life?"

"Well…"

"Do you think that after all of my years that I would have survived this long to misplace my loyalties?"

"Of course not."

"So tell me then beloved," I said softly. "why is it that you do not believe me when I tell you that in all my years on this earth I have never come across someone as perfect as you? By the Gods Sookie you made me feel love for the first time sense I lost my human life. I love you Sookie more than anything in this world. I love you more than my job, or my power, my possessions or even my own child; I would and have moved mountains to make you happy or to keep you safe.

"No one has ever affected me the way that you do. I broke my corvette because I was so hurt by the thought that you had rejected me. Not that I do not understand why you did but I was heartbroken by it. When I saw you crumpled on the floor in such pain, pain that I knew I had caused you I could and would have sent myself to my final death right then and there if I did not know that it would only cause you more pain in my committing such an act. You are a Goddess and deserved to be worshiped each and every day. I worship you my love. How could I not? I love you more than life itself."

I felt empty, spent, there was nothing left, I had given her everything I had inside of me. I just prayed that she would not reject me again. I do not think I could take it again. I watch silent tears roll down her face and I feel like a broken man. I had hurt her again, by all that was holy I could not keep doing this to her. I sigh deeply and stand up looking down at my beloved. If she is this hurt by me and would not have me the sun surly would. Then she would be free, free of the torment of me. Free to be happy and find someone who truly deserves to worship her.

I turn away from her, I cannot stand to see her broken form any longer knowing I had done this to her killed me even more. I slowly start to walk away listening to her heart race knowing this is the last time I would hear it. "Wait, where are you going?" she moans and gurgles between her sobs.

I stop, not daring to turn back and look at her. I do not think I have the strength of character to not be selfish and stay if I see her beautiful face. "I do not wish to hurt you any more my beloved."

"What the heck are you talking about?" She asks confused.

"You are hurting, I did this, I cannot keep doing this to you. I love you too much."

There was a long pause and I take another step knowing I had finally been dismissed from her presence. I get to the bottom of her porch and I hear her pounding across the floor running towards me and she screams. "Eric you are such an idiot." I stop dead in my tracks, wasn't it enough that I was leaving her be, but now she insults me. "Turn around and look at me!" she commanded.

She commanded of me, who does she think she is! I felt my anger rise but I quickly squash it down she doesn't deserve it. I just simply start walking away again. "I cannot look at you Sookie, I just cannot if I do I will not have the strength to leave." I felt a hard thunk at the back of my knees and I topple forward unexpectedly. What the hell! I could feel her small body pressed firmly against my back. Oh Gods this temptress was going to be my undoing.

"Say it again." She whisper's softly in my ear. Now I was really confused. She must have felt my confusion through the bond because she lightly pulls on my shoulder forceing me to roll onto my back and straddles my waist. She rolls her hips just slightly and I instantly come to life. "Fuck Sookie."

"No, Eric that is not what I want to hear. Not yet anyways." What is she playing at? She slides off of me and pulls my shirt so that I am sitting up staring at her. I am so confused that my whole world is spinning what more does this woman want from me? "Tell me you love me."

I could feel millions of thoughts pinging through my brain. She slapped my chest lightly and said. "Stop strategizing you stupid vampire and just feel." I close my eyes and listen to our bond and find extreme happiness. Holy shit! I let my eyes fly open and stare at her. "Remember what I told you about leaping to conclusions?" For the second time tonight I reexamine the last few minutes of mine and Sookie's discussion and I could have hit myself over the head. I had only been reading her body language but even that I was reading wrong.

I took her face delicately in both my hands and said. "I love you Sookie Stackhouse, I always have and I always will." She beamed at me a brilliant smile and stood; as she stood she pulled me to my knees.

"Now, ask me." She commanded.

I thought a moment about what it was she wanted me to do. I read her emotions and her body language carefully and I smiled a huge grin at her as I figured out what she wanted. I gingerly pull the ring out of my pocket and said. "Sookie Stackhouse, sense the first moment I laid eyes on you I knew that you and I were destined to be together. I love you more than I have words to express. Would you do me the great honor in becoming my wife in truth?"

"YES, YES, YES, A MILLION TIMES YES!" she exclaimed gleefully bouncing up and down slightly and I couldn't help but laugh as I slowly slip the ring on her finger. Before it was even on all the way she threw herself at me knocking me backwards once again and kissing me fiercely.

I felt the passion building between us and I knew that before long I would be ripping that dress off of her and giving in to my animalistic nature and claiming her right here in front of the Gods and everyone, when she pulled away from me. I groaned at the loss of her lips pressed against mine and she just giggled. "Eric?" She asked seriously.

I knew this evening was not going to progress any further unless I answered whatever burning question she had in the pretty little mind of hers and right now I wanted nothing more than to just fuck her senseless so the quicker I dealt with the situation the better. "Yes my beloved." I said gently kissing her jaw and neck trying to get her mind back on track.

"Why did you come back tonight? Not that I am complaining but, well it doesn't really seem likely that you would swallow your pride after the things that I said."

Hmmm that was an interesting question, why did I come back? I stopped kissing her as I played it over and over again in my head and I just kept coming back to that damn song that spoke to my soul. "I heard a song on the radio."

"Must have been some song?" She said quizzically.

"It was," I laughed lightly. "it put things in perspective. It made it so that I didn't believe you when you said to me that you don't want me anymore."

"Hmm" she kissed my lips lightly. "remind me to send a big thank you note to whomever sings that song." She parted my lips with her tongue and let it slide all the way in to my mouth. I groaned slightly Gods I loved, loved, loved, this woman.

I pulled back slightly and she pouted, it was so endearing that I laughed. "Remind me tomorrow and I will make sure we will go and say a big thank you to whomever she is together and with that I swiftly stood and swept her into my arms, carried her into our home to start our new lives together as husband and wife.

"Eric?" She whispered as I was carrying her up the stairs to our room.

"Yes, my love?"

"Did you really break your car?" I just let out a huge burst of laughter as I kicked the door shut behind us.

FIN