A/N: Alright, I'm still not really sure where I'm going with this, but I suppose I'll have to figure that out soon enough.

I'm likin' Rapp Fan's idea though, so maybe I should start heading in that direction soon. I dunno. It all depends on whether Sammy's ok with it.

"And, reading reviews, some girl wants you to sedate me?

Ouch. Now this is how it feels when you're an actor and people hate your character and want to kill it off.

The pain."

Oh well. I'll figure something out. If anybody's got some ideas they'd like to share, please do so.

Mmkay. Moving on.

Disclaimer: Not mine. Nope. Sorry.

"Previously on 'Sanity is Overrated'—"

"What the hell?! Who the fuck is that?!"

"Shut up, Mark! That's the announcer dude, and I'm paying him, so you'd better let him do his job!"

"—ahem. Previously on 'Sanity is Overrated': Two lovely ladies in a battle for one man. Will this be the end of Mimi, or shall true love prevail?"

"…right."

The two girls circled each other cautiously, taking the other in, eyeing each other up, until, with a giant battle cry, they—

"Ohh, Sammyyyy! Look what I've got!" A sing-song voice interrupted. Sammy glanced at Becky and gasped.

"A Richie Sambora doll!" She squealed, and promptly snatched the doll away to go play in the corner.

Mimi relaxed and the other bohemians sighed in relief. They had flirted with disaster and had escaped unscathed.

Disaster, who was overjoyed at being flirted with, skipped away happily to go brag to Anarchy, Chaos, and Destruction.

The bohemians watched it go.

"Well, now what do I do? I've written myself into a corner." Becky grunted and plopped down onto the couch.

"Well," Sammy called from her place of childhood fun, "Why not introduce the Renties to fanfiction? Y'know, start from the basics."

Becky jumped up at the idea. "Sammy, you're a genius!"

"Well, duh."

"Says the teenage girl playing with a doll…" murmured Mark. Roger sniggered.

"Hey, pay attention!"

Suddenly, Mimi, Mark, and Roger were all sitting at desks. A notebook was in front of each of them. Becky stood in front of a chalkboard that had magically appeared.

"Now, first and foremost; fanfiction is a broadly defined term for fiction about characters or settings written by admirers of the original work, rather than by the original creators."

The bohemians stared with blank expressions. There was a short silence, interrupted by the ringing of the phone and the infamous 'SPEAAAAK!'

"Hey Roger, Mark, it's Maureen. Throw down the keys. I'm coming up. Oh, Joanne is here too."

Becky squealed. "Oh, this is perfect!"

Mark got up to throw the keys down.

"Might as well get Collins here too, otherwise you'll have to explain everything over again," Sammy called from the corner.

"Right."

Collins appeared with a little 'popping' noise. "…whoa. I am never drinking again."

"Honey, we're hooooommmmeeee!" Maureen called from the doorway. She stopped short, seeing the two strange girls. Joanne nearly ran right into her. "What's going on?"

Becky addressed her. "I'm Becky, and that girl in the corner," she pointed at Sammy. Sammy 'cooed' and made the Sambora doll wave one of his hands. "…Right. That girl with the doll is Sammy. Pull up a chair, folks. This is Fanfiction 101."

Collins plopped onto the sofa and Maureen crawled into a chair. Joanne hesitated because the author needed to draw some attention to her character.

"Ok, now that you're all here, I have one more thing I need to do," Becky announced, drawing attention away from Joanne.

A loud 'crack' filled the room and there was a bright flash of light. The bohemians shielded their eyes. When the light faded, the bohos cautiously looked up. Before them stood…

"Angel?" Collins questioned. She smiled softly. "But… how? You're… you're dead."

"Uhm, hi." Becky drew attention away from Angel. Wow. What an attention whore. "That would be me. I brought her back."

The moment of pleasant shock was broken when Collins, Mimi, Maureen, Joanne, and Mark all leapt towards Angel and glomped her simultaneously. Roger lingered in his chair, not wanting to be crushed to death by the mass of bodies.

"Yo!" Sammy called. Everyone glanced at her in a surprised fashion, because this author thinks the phrase 'in a surprised fashion' is cool.

Anyway.

"Sit down and listen!"

Obediently, the reunited bohos sat. Becky grinned thankfully at Sammy. "Now, I'm going to teach you the basics of fanfiction. When I'm done, you'll know how to treat OOCness, know where Mary Sues are spawned from, and you'll even know how to survive a fangirl attack."

"But I thought fangirls were only a myth!" Maureen exclaimed.

"No talking!"

"…okay."

"I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, and even put a stopper in death."

"Really?"

"No, not really. Now, Sammy, where do we start?"

Sammy was cradling the Sambora doll in her arms and singing a lullaby.

"Sammy, pay attention!"

Sammy sighed. "Basics, remember? Start with something small and work your way up. Something like… oh, I don't know. Something like… plotbunnies."

The laugh that escaped Becky's throat chilled the bohemians. Icicles began to grow on their eyelashes.

"Damn, it's cold in here," Becky exclaimed. She scribbled in her notebook and a crackling fireplace appeared in the far wall. The icicles melted.

"That's better. Now, where were we? Oh yes, plotbunnies…"

TBC

I've got nothing important to say.

Oh, other than that you need to review because it's nice.

Yes. But that's it.

-Twisted