Spike paced the hospital corridor, glad that the ICU had no windows. He didn't need the clock over the nurses' station to tell him it was well past sunrise - past noon, in fact. He also didn't need the doctors telling him that the next few hours were the most critical for Gunn; over a century of judging just how far to drain a man before he died told him that without any poncy young resident acting solicitous. What the doctors couldn't tell him was what he should do. What Gunn would want him to do.

On the one hand, Gunn hated vampires. He'd come to respect Angel, and he tolerated Spike himself, but Spike had no doubts that Gunn's hatred for all other vamps burned bright. He respected that - at all stages of his life and unlife, he'd respected that kind of obsession. Except when it led to outhouses full of crosses, but one had to draw the line somewhere. On the other hand, he was also certain that Gunn wanted to live. He'd been willing to lay down his life to fight the Circle of the Black Thorn - that went without saying - but now that they'd won, Old Charlie-boy would want to live, just like any other bloke. And if the doctors couldn't help him, Spike could - after a fashion, at any rate.

The question was, would Gunn want to be vamped, if it was the only way he could live? Spike just didn't know, which was why he was pacing back and forth in the hospital corridor, his duster billowing behind him almost like the Big Poof's. Illyria had kept up with him for awhile, but since he couldn't even make his dilemma understandable to himself, let alone her, she'd decided that communing with the plants gathered in one corner of the waiting area was more interesting than following her pet as he wore down the molecules of the floor a few thousandths of a millimeter. Her words.

The thing was, if Spike sired Gunn, he wouldn't be the same person. Spike didn't know just how different he'd be - it seemed to vary from vamp to vamp, and as far as he could tell, there was no way to know ahead of time how much the demon would change the human's personality. He didn't actually have much experience in siring, anyway - when he'd been with Dru, she'd sired enough for the both of them, plus looking after her was enough of a job. He hadn't needed any sodding fledglings running around after them. And then there'd been the chip, and now the soul...he knew he'd sired a few fledges when he'd been triggered by the First, but he hadn't met any of them after they'd risen. Not to talk to, anyway.

And none of that addressed his main problem: what would Gunn want him to do? He could just ask him, if he could get to him, but since both Spike and Illyria were quite obviously not relations of Gunn's, they hadn't been able to see him since he'd been admitted. That wouldn't stop Spike if he knew Gunn was dying, but it seemed pointless to fight his way in, possibly hurting innocent people on the way, just to ask Gunn a question. Not for the first time, Spike reflected that life - or unlife - had been much easier without the soul.

"Do you know why you're pacing yet?"

"Gah," Spike said, almost smacking Illyria in the face. Almost, because she stopped him, though she didn't look upset. She never looked upset. "Sorry," he said. "Can't get used to you sneaking up like that - shouldn't do that, y'know. Could get - well, no, I suppose you couldn't get hurt, but you still shouldn't."

Illyria nodded. "I will remember," she said. She didn't say anything more, just looked at him, and Spike realized she was still waiting for the answer to her question.

"Yes and no," he said. "Look, how well do you know Gunn?"

"The shell knew him intimately," Illyria said.

"Yeah, that's right," Spike said. "Can you...can you remember that time?"

"I can," Illyria said, and suddenly Fred was standing in her place, bouncy hair and sweet expression firmly in place. "What do you want to know about Charles?"

Spike recoiled as though she'd hit him. "Change back," he said. Growled, really. "Change back. Please."

"As you wish," Illyria said, and did so. "What do you want to know?"

Spike swallowed, trying to get Fred's image out of his mind. "If Gunn were dying, would he want to be vamped?" he said as fast as he could. They were speaking too softly for any normal human to hear them at that distance, but he didn't want to run any unnecessary risks.

Illyria studied him, her head on one side. Or maybe she was examining her memories, because after a few moments, she said, "No."
"No?" Spike said, staring at her. "That's it - just, no?"
"Gunn staked his sister after she became a vampire," Illyria said, sounding as though she were reading the weather report.

"Oh," Spike said, understanding now. Really, dealing with family who'd been vamped never seemed to go well. So Gunn wouldn't want Spike to sire him. The problem was, Spike still wanted to do it.

He started pacing again, trying to sort out his thoughts. He liked Gunn; that was the problem. He didn't like to think of a world without Gunn in it. And soul or no soul, Spike had the power to keep Gunn around, or part of him, anyway. If Gunn wouldn't want him to do it, it would be a purely selfish act, but it wasn't as though he hadn't done one of those before. And they had a witch who could do the resouling spell; all they'd need would be an Orb of Thessala, and this was L.A. There had to be some of those around; there was everything else.

That settled it. If Gunn was dying, Spike would sire him. And none of these poncy doctors would stop him -

"Excuse me."

Spike turned to see a plump, cheerful-looking nurse smiling at him from the other end of the corridor.

"It looks like your friend is going to be fine," she said. "His blood counts are up, and he's fallen into a natural sleep."

Spike slumped against the wall of the corridor. "Can we see him?"

"Well," the nurse said, studying them. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Spike wondered what she thought of them. They couldn't be the norm of hospital visitors, but then, it was L.A. "He's asleep, like I said, but I suppose...one at a time, mind."

Spike waved at Illyria to go first. He needed some time to recover.