A/N: Ok, so I know that this chapter is a little slow, but I promise it gets moving next chapter. Also, I've decided that I'll probably be doing this in parts, so it's probably gonna be pretty long. I'm working on the next chapter, which should be the end of Part 1, so I'll probably upload that in a week-ish. I have no clue what I'm going to do for any chapters after that, though.

Yeah.

Disclaimer: I don't even own my mind anymore. I sold that along with my soul.

"Now, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted by the end of the chapter—"

"Huh? Chapter? What do you mean?"

"Nothing, nothing."

Sammy threw her doll up into the air and caught it.

"Ahem. Plotbunnies are basically how authors come up with ideas for a story. You see, a plotbunny will just be hopping its way along," and Becky pantomimed a hopping bunny, "and it'll see an author. Since the bunnies are so stealthy, we usually don't know they're there until they bite us. Any questions so far?"

Maureen raised her hand. Becky ignored her.

"Good. Now, there are three main types of plotbunnies: Good Plotbunnies, Bad Plotbunnies, and Rabid Plotbunnies. Who knows what each type means?"

Maureen raised her hand again. Once again, Becky ignored her.

"How about… Joanne?"

Joanne looked around in shock. "Um… I'm guessing that Good Plotbunnies are good story ideas and Bad Plotbunnies are bad story ideas, but I'm not sure what Rabid Plotbunnies are."

"You get a B for effort," Sammy flatlined. Her heart promptly stopped beating and she fell over, nearly dead.

"Damn it, that's not what I meant!" Becky scratched out the previous line in her notebook. Sammy regained her heart's fantastical blood-pumping abilities. Becky tried again.

"You get a B for effort," Sammy injected. A giant needle appeared and embedded itself in Sammy's arm.

"Fuck this line!" Becky screamed. She scribbled out said fucked line in her notebook. "I give up."

The needle disappeared and Sammy continued admiring her Sambora doll as if nothing had happened.

"Anyway, you've got the main idea of it, Joanne. You see," A flip chart magically appeared. There was a diagram of three fuzzy pink rabbits on it. "A Good Plotbunny," Becky pointed to the first rabbit, "is a plotbunny that has not only a good plot, but also good grammar and punctuation. A Good Plotbunny story usually flows smoothy and is almost always beta-read."

At this, Sammy let out a 'woohoo!' as she tossed the doll into the air again.

"Moving on. A Bad Plotbunny," Becky pointed to the second rabbit, "has a bad plot. There might be a couple plot holes or choppy transitions. The author usually doesn't have a beta, so there are often grammar and punctuation mistakes."

Becky pointed at the third rabbit. "A Rabid Plotbunny is like a Bad Plotbunny, only ten times worse. The whole story is genuinely horrible. The characters are all out of character, canon couples are out the window, and the author is more focused on getting reviews than writing quality entertainment. The entire story is riddled with grammatical errors. The author often uses 'text talk' instead of proper English and never re-reads to check for said mistakes. While constructive criticism and a beta can usually fix Bad Plotbunny fics, neither of these will have any effect on a Rabid Plotbunny fic. It's just that bad."

The room fell silent except for the sounds Sammy was making as she played with her doll.

"So," Becky broke the awkwardness, "I've decided that the best way to teach you is by example." A cage appeared. "Inside this cage," Becky tapped it. The creature inside of it growled and shook the cage. Becky backed away slightly. "Er… Inside of this cage is a Rabid Songfic Bunny. I caught it this morning as it was nibbling on my computer wires. I—why aren't you writing this down?"

Mimi, Mark, and Roger quickly began to scribble in their notebooks. Maureen raised her hand. "What about the rest of us? We don't have anything to write with."

Notebooks and pencils rained from the ceiling.

"Er… thanks."

The rest of the bohos began to take down notes.

"Now, I'm going to show you what happens when an author of fanfiction gets bitten by a Rabid Plotbunny. I've given Sammy a laptop to use." A laptop appeared in her corner. Sammy squealed and abandoned her doll in order to revel in the glory of MySpace.

"Sammy will use the laptop to write her fic once I let the bunny go."

Maureen raised her hand. Again. Sheesh.

"Yes, Maureen?"

"What's a laptop?"

Becky blinked. "Um… don't worry about that. That hasn't been invented in your universe yet."

"…oh. Ok?"

"Anyway, you guys are going to see the effects that a Rabid Songfic Bunny can have."

Becky walked over to the table, cleared it off, and flipped it onto its side. "We're going to hide behind this as a safety precaution." The bohemians all scrambled behind the table. Well, all except for Angel.

"Angel, come on! Get behind the table!"

"Actually, she really doesn't need to. I'm not going to let anything happen to her, and besides, someone needs to let the bunny out of its cage." Becky strode behind the table confidently. The bohos shrugged.

Angel picked up the cage and moved it closer to where Sammy sat. She positioned the cage door to face the unsuspecting girl. Carefully, she lifted the latch. The cage door screeched open. Angel stepped backwards.

At first, nothing happened. There was no movement inside the cage. Sammy continued to type on the laptop and the bohos watched from behind the table.

Slowly, a fuzzy pink head popped out. It sniffed the air cautiously. Its yellow eyes took in its surroundings and its nose twitched. Yellow teeth flashed momentarily beneath the tufts of pink fur.

The bunny moved forward, its ears twitching and rotating to catch any sounds. The bohemians held their breaths in anticipation. Sammy didn't seem to notice that the room had gone completely silent.

Slowly, the bunny turned its scraggly pink head towards Sammy. Shivering with delight, the bunny inched toward the unsuspecting girl. It moved stealthily on its short rabbit legs.

In the blink of an eye, the rabid creature pounced on Sammy. It squealed in victory as it sank its sharp rabbit teeth into her shoulder.

There was nothing Sammy could have done. Before she knew what had hit her, she began to feel the effects of the plotbunny's bite. Her eyes glazed over slightly and her whole body went slack.

The bohemians gaped at the scene taking place in front of them. Little did they know that this was only the beginning.

TBC

Cliffhangers are my friend.

-Twisted