Chapter 7 London

David knocked softly on Brenda's door. He had left her alone for a couple days because he knew she was really upset about Dylan. "Bren?" he peaked his head in.

"Yeah." Brenda said softly.

"I brought you a sandwich from the Peach Pit." David said softly as he carried in a to go box and a bag.

"I'm not hungry." Brenda said as she laid in the dark under the covers.

"Come on Bren…you have to eat something." David begged.

"Ok…ok." Brenda sat up and ran her fingers through her hair.

"Guess what else…ice cream…movies." David smiled as he held them up one at a time.

Brenda tilted her head, "Thank you…why are you single again?"

"Dude…I have no idea." David playfully held up his hands, he smiled.

"Come on." David held out his hand and dragged her into the living room.

Brenda plopped on the couch and opened up her sandwich box. She took a bite as she felt David looking at her. "What? Do I have food on my face?" Brenda said innocently.

"Can I tell you something and I know its totally bad timing and probably pretty inappropriate but you look really pretty without make up."

Brenda let out a laugh as she covered her full mouth, "Yeah…ok."

David looked straight ahead, "Everyone has been asking about you. Wondering where you and Dylan have been."

Brenda nodded, "I figured."

"You're going to have to tell them eventually."

"I know…no one has seen Dylan?" Brenda looked over at David with tears in her eyes.

David shook his head.

"I hope he's ok." Brenda put down her sandwich.

"Well…it's probably better because if I see him and he acts like he did a couple days ago, I may not be able to contain myself. I almost popped him Bren." David rubbed his hands together.

"I know…he wasn't himself." Brenda shook her head.

David looked over at her; she was either crazy or amazing. The things he said to her and they way he treated her, he wasn't exactly quite sure what hold they had on each other and he was beginning to understand what Kelly had been complaining about for years.

"What movies did you get?" Brenda leaned forward putting her food on the coffee table.

David got up hearing a knock at the door, "I got Waterboy….and for the girl in me…Dirty Dancing." David swung open the door.

Dylan stood wet from the rain…he looked like he hadn't slept at all in two days. David went to shut the door in his face but Dylan set his foot in the door.

"Please…can I talk to Bren?"

David shook his head, "Don't you think you have hurt her enough?"

"Please...five minutes" Dylan moved his hand across his mouth as he began to cough.

"David…it's ok." Brenda stood up and walked toward the door. David shook his head and rolled his eyes as he moved out of the way.

Brenda swallowed hard and crossed her arms. She didn't say anything she just looked at him.

"Bren…I'm sorry…I didn't mean to say those things to you." Dylan shifted not making eye contact.

"I know."

"I don't want to be without you." Dylan gently lifted his hand and moved her hair behind her ear. Brenda backed away from his touch.

"You need to go into a rehab Dylan. You need help."

"I know, I will but no rehabs, I'll do it myself."

Brenda shook her head, "That's not good enough." Brenda grabbed the door and gently closed it on Dylan.

"Brenda." Dylan hit the door.

Brenda closed her eyes and she rested her forehead and her hand on the door. Brenda jumped as she heard more banging.

"Brenda…please. You're my family." Dylan said in tears.

Brenda turned her back to the door leaning against it. She looked toward the ceiling while tears streamed down her face. "I know." she said back.

"Baby. I'm sorry." Dylan begged.

"Brenda…Open the door." Dylan banged on the door harder, it was apparent he was getting angrier and more desperate. "Can you at least give me 20 bucks?" Dylan banged again, "I don't have anywhere to go."

David looked at Brenda, "Why doesn't he just go to a hotel or something?" David said softly.

Brenda opened her eyes, "I moved his money into another account. He doesn't have any."

David eyes got wide, he was pleasantly surprised, Dylan without his millions to get high off of. She did it, she was standing tough.

Dylan started to bang louder, "Damn it Brenda." Dylan yelled.

Dylan leaned himself against the door and closed his eyes, "I loved you" he whispered. "I trusted you." Dylan hit the door again.

Brenda turned and looked at the door. She covered her mouth and began to cry harder. She reached for her purse that was by the door and grabbed a twenty. David gently put his hand over her hand holding the money. She looked up at David and could tell by his eyes giving Dylan money at this point was not a good idea. Brenda handed the money over to David. She dropped her face in her hands and cried. Turning Dylan away was awful but she knew it was for his own good. The trouble with Dylan was that most drug addicts don't have millions to buy drugs with. After finding out Dylan had put Brenda on his account, after what had happened at the police station, she decided the best thing to do was take it away. Brenda lowered herself to the ground. It took everything she had not to open the door and take care of him. She heard him cussing and yelling and banging on the door. Brenda knew he didn't mean the things he was saying. It had been 2 days since he had used and he had probably gone to take money out and realized there was none. She knew it was the reason he was really back, not to apologize or tell her he had wanted to go to rehab. As Brenda sat with her back leaning against the door, she finally heard his car rev up and drive away.

"When we first got back together, my parents had called and Dylan answered. They were shocked that he was there, that's when Steve's birthday was going on and we figured we had better clue Brandon and whoever else on us living together before they heard anyway. My father of course had an opinion about the situation. Not because he didn't want us to be together but he knew how I felt about him and he also knew about Toni and even though he never explained his reasoning I knew it was because he thought Dylan and I were rushing things." Brenda shrugged, "Those days were amazing, living together, being together, it was just us like old times but better. About a year ago, I found out I was pregnant." Brenda smiled slightly, "I was so scared to tell him. I thought for sure he would freak out." David walked over lowering himself to the floor beside her. "He didn't actually, he was really excited. I just had finished a play and the timing really couldn't have been better. Dylan and I lived in our own little world over there, I realize now how weird it was we never told anyone." Brenda's looked down.

"What happened did you miscarry?" David said lowering his head to look at her.

Brenda shook her head, "No…I was about 6 months pregnant. Brandon and Kelly's wedding was around the corner, my doctor had giving me restrictions on flying because of some spotting I was having the week before so we told Brandon we couldn't come due to me being on tour, but we were excited they were going to meet us in Corsica on their honeymoon and we figured we would surprise them then and tell them our news. The day after they had called off the wedding, Dylan and I had decided on renting a car and heading down the English country side. We were having a lot of fun, driving around exploring, talking about the baby and what we were going to name her. I remember there was this truck behind us, driving really close. I had told Dylan to pull over to let him pass us which he did. Brenda flashed back.

Dylan pulled off the side of the road to allow the truck behind them pass. He looked over at her, her hair wind blown from the convertible. She smiled and leaned in grabbing his shirt and letting his lips touch hers. "Mmmmm…you taste good." Brenda said licking her lips.

Dylan raised his eyebrows and smiled. "Have I told you I love you today, you and…Danielle."

Brenda laughed, "Yes you have told me but not her." Brenda playfully smiled and shook her head, pointing down at her prominent belly.

Dylan leaned down putting his head to her belly, he whispered something and Brenda couldn't make it out.

"What did you say?"

"I said her mom was sexy and that I am going to turn around because I need to be alone with her." Dylan wiggled his eyebrows at her.

Brenda playfully hit him, "You did not…you liar." Brenda smiled.

"That's what I said." Dylan shrugged

Brenda laughed as Dylan looked at her; he turned the wheel to make a u - turn. Dylan tried to hit the gas when he noticed he had turned his car into an on coming car hitting it lightly. The convertible spun around twice as it crashed into another car. The sound of crushed metal sounded as Dylan hit his head on the steering wheel hitting the horn.

"That's the last I remember. Dylan told me there were people that had seen the accident and there was an ambulance there. He said after realizing what had happened he noticed I was unconscious. The car had hit the passenger side door hard enough to push it in. They used the jaws of life to pull if off."

**

Dylan lay in a fetal position on the sand of Zuma Beach. He banged his fists against the sand as the aching ran through his body. How did he get like this, when did it spiral so out of control? Dylan began vomiting and coughing, he lay down on his side and pulled his legs up to his chest. He closed his eyes.

Dylan opened his eyes after what seemed like a second but obviously it had been longer he looked around. He saw an ambulance, people talking and looking in the distance.

"Brenda." he whispered as he looked over. Brenda laid head back on the seat unconscious. He looked down to see the side of the door pushed in by the car and laying against the side of her stomach.

"Brenda…Brenda." he nervously called her name. Dylan climbed out as he ran to her side and tried to pull the door but it was stuck. They rushed Brenda to the hospital. Dylan remembered the ambulance as they asked him questions.

"What's her name?" The paramedic asked him.

"Brenda." Dylan looked in horror as they worked on her.

"How far along is she?"

"Six months." Dylan mumbled still in shock.

Dylan remembered running next to the gurney through the hospital talking to her calling out for her. Then she disappeared behind two double doors. Brenda was in surgery for an hour, due to the baby being in distress. Dylan climbed the walls as no one had come out to tell him what was happening.

Finally a doctor approached Dylan. "Mr. McKay? Brenda is ok, she came out of surgery fine. You can see her if you want."

Dylan got up quickly and nodded.

"She isn't awake yet but there is something I have tell you…we weren't able to save your daughter…I'm truly sorry for your loss."

Dylan rushed to her side and grabbed her hand. He looked around at some doctors that come in to check on her. Dylan looked down at her flattened belly and cried. It was his fault. He killed his father by letting him move that car, he killed his wife by telling her to head on to her fathers without him, and now he killed his own daughter.

**

"Dylan and I buried our daughter on May 15th. We had a small service with a few friends." Brenda broke down as David put his arm around her to comfort her. "We both didn't talk about it much. Dylan took off for a couple of days…I thought he was being such a selfish ass. Then I realized he blamed himself. He had blamed himself for his dad, and Toni and now Danielle. I know that Dylan started using when he took off. I saw it in his eyes right away when he got back. It started out slow, maybe him using it once a week, then his dreams got worse and became more frequent. We needed each other more than anything at that point but didn't want to really deal with it and even though I didn't agree with what he was doing…it almost felt easier to deal with the loss having someone to take care of, someone to take it away from me."

"My God Bren, I'm so sorry." David said in shock.

"About a week ago, Dylan came to me almost in tears that he wanted to get out of London. Come back to the states. He needed to get away from the memories there and begged me to come with him. I decided that maybe he was right, maybe it was time. I thought for his sake maybe it would be different here, away from the accident, away from the drugs. That night we held each other and finally talked about what had happened. It felt like a step in the right direction and we made a promise to each other, that no matter what…it was always him and me. That we were family."

"Bren? Have you ever told Dylan it wasn't his fault or that you really didn't blame him?" David said curiously.

Brenda shut her eyes tightly and shook her head.

"Do you?" David asked softly.

Brenda lifted her head slowly and looked over at him, "I think I did at first but I don't anymore."

David and Brenda sat quietly for a second.

"Come on." David got up and held out his hand.

"David, I don't want to go anywhere."

"Let's go for a drive or something, lets get out of here." Brenda looked at David and saw the need to get out, she responded by nodding and taking his hand.

Brenda looked out the window as they drove down Sunset toward Malibu. The rain had stopped and the sun had finally made its way out. She thought about Dylan again and the fact that even if he was to get clean, the stuff they had been through in London and losing their daughter may actually be too much to go back. David turned right onto Pacific Coast highway and started down the coast. Brenda looked over at David that had his eyes steadily on the road. David felt her stare and looked over at her. He gave her a weak smile as Brenda took her hand and ran the back of it down the side of his cheek. As David looked into her eyes he knew she was saying thank you. He reached over and took her hand. They laced their fingers together and he squeezed tight. David had learned more about Brenda in these past couple of days then he did in the 4 years of seeing her everyday. David drove down to Zuma beach and pulled into a space off the side of the beach access road. He moved the car in park and looked over tat her again. She looked at him longingly and leaned in, she shut her eyes softly, taking her hand to the back of his head and pulled him to her. She set a soft peck on his lips and lingered there for a second.

Their lips parted and she spoke closely keeping her hand on the back of his neck and her eyes closed. "I like you David…I probably even love you." Brenda leaned away from him a bit, "I haven't felt this close to a man since Dylan and it is scaring the shit out of me." Brenda sighed.

"I know...me too."

"I'm not ready for heavy David and I think we are such good friends, I don't want to ruin it."

David looked down disappointed but knew she was right. "Yeah, you're probably right."

Brenda smiled, "Let's walk."

David nodded as he watched her slowly get out of the car. "Bren?" David stopped her.

"I think we could be good together....and…I'm probably in love with you too."

Brenda smiled softly, "Come on." Brenda motioned with her head.

Brenda walked down the beach taking in the salty air. She crossed her arms and looked at the sand hit her bare feet. David and Brenda hadn't said much to each other since they began their walk. It felt nice to be outside and out. Brenda had felt like had been in a mental prison for the last 2 days and after telling David about what happened in London she felt almost relieved not to have to keep it inside anymore. Brenda looked toward the rocks by the bottom of the cliff and saw something. She stopped and allowed her eyes to focus a bit because of the bright sun.

"Oh my God, David…its Dylan." Brenda said as she began to run over to him. She knelled down and moved him from his side to his back, "Dylan…Dylan." She called his name. "Go call an ambulance." She looked up at David in which reached for his cell and began dialing.

Brenda saw he was breathing but slowly. She leaned down putting her mouth to his ear, "Dylan…I'm here…stay with me please." She whispered. Dylan eyes fluttered but he didn't open them. Brenda lifted his head onto her lap and gently ran her finger through his hair.

"Stay with us Dylan, it's ok." She said over and over.

Dylan lifted his hand and set it on top of Brenda's hand that was resting on his chest. "I'm sorry." He whispered barely audible. Brenda's eyes filled with tears, "I'm sorry I killed our baby." He continued. Brenda exhaled and shook her head. The paramedic came quickly and pushed Brenda out of the way as they started working on Dylan. She stood next to David with her hand covering her mouth as they tried to get him stabilized.

OK guys so that was the secret. I know so sad but it had to be a big enough deal for Dylan to be the way he is. Did any of you see it coming? Was it predictable? Let me know what you're thinking. REVIEW REVIEW!! The story isnt not over yet. :-)