Chapter 7 Just A Reminder

Brenda shifted her weight as she waited to hear news regarding Dylan. She kept her eyes focused on the blue carpet they had in the waiting room. The whole gang had learned of Dylan's drug problem and everyone had come to the hospital to show their support to both him and Brenda. Brenda hadn't said much to her friends, not because she didn't appreciate their concern, she just felt a bit guilty not opening up to them or filling him in on Dylan's issues. They knew about Danielle too and Brenda felt sympathy from them just by their eyes. She didn't want their pity, she just wanted them to be supportive and normal. As she glanced up, she tried not to make direct contact with anyone. Brenda knew her friends didn't know what to say and she thought about it and probably wouldn't know what to say either if the roles were reversed.

"What is taking so long?" Steve murmured getting Brenda's attention. She could always count on Steve to break the ice; he was never good with uncomfortable silence.

Brenda walked over to one of the couches in the waiting room and sat down. She leaned her elbows on her knees and nervously played with her hands. She kept thinking about what Dylan said, it ran through her head over and over. She didn't blame him for their baby, and even though Brenda knew he blamed himself for it, hearing the words just made her feel guilty and horrible. Guilty because she let him blame himself for the last six months and horrible that he had carry that burden. Brenda continued to look down as she felt someone sit closely to her. She looked up and weakly smiled at David. He didn't say anything just handed her a cup of coffee. He wrapped his arm around her as she leaned back into him, pulling her legs underneath herself. She felt the eyes of the gang on them and she didn't care. David was the only one that had opening comforted her and at that moment in time she needed it more than ever. She had no idea if Dylan was doing okay, she had no idea what was going on. Brenda had lost Dylan emotionally already, but losing him physically was too hard to even think about.

"You doing ok?" David whispered

Brenda slowly shook her head but her attention moved to Matt who had just arrived from Dylan's hearing.

Brenda stood up, "How did it go?" She asked nervously.

Matt looked around at the gang, "Well looks like he lucked out. I talked to the DA and she agreed to drop the charges to a misdemeanor if Dylan is willing to check himself in to a 90 day rehab center and does 80 hours of community service."

"We just have to talk him into going." Kelly said frank.

"Well…its either that or jail." Matt expressed Dylan option.

"I'm sure he will choose rehab." Donna said naively.

"Well maybe if we knew what was going on." Brenda raised her voice slightly in hopes one of the near by nurses would hear her. She breathed out heavily and plopped back down in the couch. "This is ridiculous."

David looked at her sympathetically, "I'll go see if they have an update." David walked toward the nurse's station.

David came back shortly with a doctor in tow, "Are you Brenda Walsh?" The doctor approached her.

"Yes." Brenda stood up quickly, "How's Dylan?"

"He is stable, he was in pretty bad shape when they brought him in. He's awake now but we have talked to him a bit and he has agreed to go through a medically supervised detox."

"What's that?"

"It's a way to detox medically with medication under supervision. The withdrawal from heroin is painful physically so we use a mixture of medication to ease the physical withdrawal."

"And he agreed?" Brenda was relieved.

The doctor nodded slowly, "Yes he did after some persuading…we are going to start the medication shortly but he will be heavily sedated."

"Can we see him?" Kelly spoke up.

"Actually he asked to see you before we get started." the doctor smiled at Brenda.

Brenda looked around at the gang, "I'll call you and give you updates. Thanks for being here, we really appreciate it."

The gang nodded and made their way out as Brenda followed the doctor into Dylan's room. She came to the door and stopped as she saw him laying with his eyes closed. She slowly walked over sitting on the edge of the bed. The small movement made Dylan open his eyes and look at her.

"Hey." Brenda whispered with a small smile.

"Hey." Dylan answered back.

"You ok?" Brenda reached up and caressed the side of his face with her hand.

Dylan moved his hand on top of hers, "I'm sorry Bren, you know I would never intentionally hurt you. I'm pretty messed up."

"I know you wouldn't Dylan. I just want you to get better."

"I wouldn't blame you if you hated me and didn't want anything to do with me anymore." Dylan looked down.

Brenda shook her head, "I could never hate you. We have been through too much together. Do you really think I would actually leave your side? You know me better than that." Brenda just looked him intently. "I'm not going anywhere."

Dylan took a deep breath, "I don't deserve you."

Brenda tried to lighten the mood a little, she tilted her head from side to side, "Probably not." she smiled to show him she was kidding.

The nurse walked in, "Hello Dylan, I am going to go ahead and start the first round of medication now, you're going to feel really sleepy but you wont be in pain anymore." The nurse smiled as she checked his IV.

"Can you give us just a minute?" Brenda asked sincerely.

The nurse nodded slowly and walked out of the hospital room.

"Dylan…before they knock you out I just wanted to tell you something." Brenda sighed, "You are so much more than you know. I feel lucky we met and fell in love and got back together after everything. And even though it's hard and probably the hardest thing we ever will have to deal with, I'm thankful you gave me a daughter even though we didn't get to meet her or watch her grow. It was something that came from me and you and will bind us together for the rest of our lives." Dylan looked down once he heard her name. "I know you blame yourself for what happened but it wasn't your fault. It wasn't anyone's fault. It was an accident and I hope one day you will be able to forgive yourself. I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like it was your fault. We may not know the reason why it happened or ever understand it but things happen for a reason and I guess we are going to have to trust it." Brenda blinked as tears rolled down her face.

Brenda could tell even talking about Danielle made him uncomfortable and she decided to drop it but she just wanted him know that stuff because ever since he told her at the beach she couldn't stop blaming herself as well. "Ok?" she asked him, almost making sure he was listening to her.

Dylan swallowed hard, "They told me about this medical detoxing thing and I sat here and thought about it for an hour. Do you want to know why?"

Brenda ran her fingers through his hair and nodded, "I guess it sounded too good, too easy and I thought that I deserved to suffer through it."

Brenda exhaled, "Please don't say stuff like that. Everyone deserves a chance no matter what and Matt said your hearing went well. They are giving you 80 hours community service and will drop the charges down to a misdemeanor if…you…agree that when you get out of here you will attend rehab for 90 days. It sounds like a hell of a deal, no jail time, so obviously I'm not the only one who thinks you deserve it."

Dylan took a deep breath as the nurse came back in. He looked at her and nodded.

"Say you will consider it?" Brenda looked at him with pleading eyes. "Rehab."

"Yeah I will consider it."

"Alright Mr. McKay, I'm going to give you a series of medications, they will make you sleepy but you wont have to go through the withdrawals. You can wait in the hall, I'm going to place a catheter in Dylan and then you can come back."

"Why don't you go home Bren…get some rest, I'll be fine." Dylan gave her a forced smile, he was really scared but didn't want her to feel as if she had to stay.

"I'll be right outside." Brenda said as she stood up. She leaned down and kissed him right below his ear, "I love you." he whispered to her as she was close to him.

Brenda nodded, as she moved in front of his face, she leaned in again this time kissing him on the lips. "Just get better." Dylan looked at her almost asking her to say it back to him with his eyes. "I love you too." she gave in. Who was Brenda kidding, she did, she always would and she would always be there for him but she also knew he needed to work on himself before they could take off where they had left off 6 months ago.

Brenda looked at him one last time as she left the room. She looked up as she walked into the hallway and saw David.

"I thought you went home?" Brenda said surprised.

David shook his head, "I wanted to make sure you were ok."

Brenda stared at him, a wide smile crept across her face. "You have no idea how glad I am you stuck around." Brenda went over and grabbed his hand. "Want to take a walk? Get some more coffee, something downstairs at the cafeteria? They kicked me out to start Dylan on those meds."

David nodded slowly as he led her down the hallway. As Brenda walked hand and hand with David to the elevator she couldn't help but feel relieved with him around. She would never desert Dylan in this time of need and she would never want to but something kept pushing her toward David and she wasn't exactly sure why it was happening. Whatever it was and whatever she wasn't sure about didn't matter. There was one thing she did know and that was whatever feeling she was having for David needed to be squashed. She knew he was feeling the same way and now wasn't the time to look into what they had been feeling for one another. Brenda loved Dylan, she was going to be by his side and love him and support him and do anything to make his recovery just a tad bit easier. That's the way it was…the truth…the way it has always been………….so why was Brenda reminding herself.

Sorry it was such a short chapter but I felt like it was a good stopping point before it carries along. So what cha guys thinking? Please review, I live for it and it sure as hell makes me write faster. I promis the next updates will be the older stories :- )