JESS 11

Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from Supernatural. They belong to Kripke. This is done strictly for fun, not profit. Also, if anything seems familiar, I don't own it.

A/N: Hello? Anybody still out there? Hello? Yeah, I know you all are probably saying, "About freaking time," on the update. So I'll just say sorry x infinity.

Spoilers: Season 1 up until "Shadow." I kind of flubbed the time line a little because technically in the U.S. the season finale had aired by the time Sam had his birthday, but in this story we're still before "Dead Man's Blood". But other than that, I hope I got things right.

A/N2: A reminder of what happened before. Lillian—the psychic/witch that ended up turning evil after getting a taste for stealing psychic's powers for her own before John killed her—has possessed Sam.

A/N3: Okay. To reduce confusion, when Sam is with Dean and John, Lillian is in control and I might refer to him as either Sam or Lillian. When he's with Jess, it's just Sam.

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"Sam? What'd you do fall in? Hurry up."

Sam hung his head and sighed heavily. "I'll be out in a minute, Dean." Sam a.k.a Lillian glared at the door for a second more before turning her gaze back to the mirror. Her eyes perused the length of Sam's body in the mirror once again admiring just how fine it was. The long, lean muscle that rippled beneath the smooth, tanned skin and chiseled abs make the form reflected in the mirror look like a roman god. Glistening beads of water left over from the shower clung to the chiseled planes and stirred a feeling of desire within her that she hadn't known in years.

"And to think he usually hides all this under layers of clothes," she mumbled shaking her head in regret before starting to get dressed. It had been almost a week since she had taken over Sam's body in the hospital and she was still trying to adjust to the differences.

For one, being so freaking tall.

The first time she had tried sitting down, she'd thought she'd missed the chair and almost made a fool of herself, but since then she had been taking time to explore Sam's strengths and weaknesses both physically and mentally to make sure that she could pull being 'Sam' off. And so far, it seemed to be working.

At least John wasn't suspicious.

Dean on the other hand? She wasn't too sure about him. She had known before that he was the wild card in the scheme just because he spent so much time with Sam, but the payoffs kind of offset the dangers of him finding out.

"Sam?"

Lillian huffed out a frustrated sigh and rolled her eyes before opening the door.

Dean was poised to knock again and had to physically stop himself from knocking on Sam's chest as the door opened before him. "What took you so long?" he almost growled searching Sam's face and then looking into the bathroom behind him.

"I just took a shower, Dean. I wasn't in there that long." Sam pushed passed Dean and he followed his progress across the room with careful eyes.

"Yeah, right. I know some girls that take less time to get ready. What? You couldn't get your hair to fall just so there princess?" Dean said with a slight smirk.

Sam stopped putting his clothes away and gave Dean a withering look. "Bite me."

Dean held his hands up in surrender and walked towards his own duffel. "Well aren't we pissy today? Come on, hurry up. Dad called and we need to meet him down at the diner in ten."

"Yeah, whatever," Sam grumbled and Dean stopped his packing his hackles rising.

"Hey what's your problem, man?"

Sam looked up from his bag with a fairly innocent look. "What?"

"Oh, don't give me that. Ever since we left the hospital you've been arguing about everything. You don't want to hunt. You can't even look at Dad without thinking the exact opposite of him. It's like…"

Sam stood up from his packing and faced his brother with arms crossed. "It's like what?"

Dean ground his teeth together for a moment before turning away back to packing his bag. "Nothing."

Sam's blood boiled at the brush off. "No, I wanna know. It's like what, Dean?"

Dean threw his bag down and turned back to Sam with angry eyes. "It's like you're frickin' eighteen again and I'm the one stuck in the middle between you and dad playing peace maker." He motioned towards Sam roughly before turning away not wanting to deal with this again. He'd had enough of it then.

"Who asked you too? I don't understand how you can follow him so blindly, Dean. If the man said jump, you'd say how high."

"That is not true, Sam," Dean growled getting angrier by the moment.

"No, you're right. You'd say, 'How high, sir'."

Dean stepped right up to Sam, his fists clenching and unclenching as he shot daggers at Sam with his eyes just daring him to say something else.

Sam glared back just as hard so ready to take a swing at the irritating man.

Dean shifted slightly and then stepped away slightly. "I'm gonna forget you just said that," he said with deadly calm. "Considering just a few days ago you were sick. Now finish getting packed. I'll meet you out in the car." Dean then turned and picked up his bag and stormed towards the door making sure to slam it behind him. God!

Lillian just stood there watching as Dean stormed away and couldn't help but smile slightly. Nothing like a little diversion to keep the enemy guessing. She so loved seeing how far she could pushing him before he snapped.

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Dean stomped out to the Impala shoving the key roughly into the trunk lock and throwing his bag in before heading for the driver's door. He slipped in behind the wheel and shut the door letting his head fall back against the seat with a deep sigh. Banging his head against the seat and clenching the wheel tightly he tried to get his anger under control. Concentrating on the slight ache in his hand and arm from where Sam had grabbed it tried to let that ground him.

He shouldn't have lost his temper like that. He didn't know what it was, but since Sam had woken up in the hospital he had felt on edge. Like he was just waiting for the other shoe to fall, and he wasn't sure why.

It wasn't like Sam showed any of the classic signs of being possessed. But something just didn't…feel right.

He heard the door to the motel room open up and glanced up to see Sam coming out.

And there it was again.

As Sam exited the room he didn't even look up and then immediately turned his back to lock the door and Dean knew that was a big no-no in their line of work. He still remembered their dad drilling it into his head as a kid to always be aware of their surroundings.

Sam finished locking the door and turned towards the car. He opened the passenger door and threw his duffel in the back before climbing in banging his knee against the dash and hissing in pain slightly before rubbing the offended appendage.

"You okay?" Dean asked giving Sam a once over noticing the almost permanent scowl on his face anymore.

"Peachy," Sam grumbled before settling back in his seat. "Can we go now? I figured you'd be chomping at the bit to get out of here."

Dean just bit his tongue trying not to say something too scathing and started the car. The throaty thrum of the engine purred to life and he pulled out of the parking space. At this point he was just wishing that something supernatural was wrong. Because if there wasn't he was going to kick Sam's ass.

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"Bye, thanks for coming."

"Hey Jess, thanks for inviting us. We had a great time," Becky said giving Jess a hug before turning to Sam to give him a hug also. "Happy Birthday, Sam."

"Thanks, Becky, and thanks for the gift."

"You're welcome. Now you be good," she said mock-seriously giving Sam a stern look and a pointed finger.

Sam just crossed his heart just as seriously before they all bust up laughing. Finishing their goodbyes, Jess closed the door firmly behind the last guest with a slight grin and a sigh. Before she even turned the lock completely, strong arms engulfed her from behind and she leaned back contentedly into Sam's embrace.

Quickly leaning down, he placed a small kiss on the side of her neck before resting his chin on her shoulder and just reveled in the silent moment between the two of them. "I can't believe you did that," he said quietly next to Jess's ear and could feel her smile.

"Did what?"

"Pulled a surprise party off for me without me even knowing anything about it? And in our own home no less."

Jess's smile just grew as she turned in Sam's arms so she was facing him and she wrapped her arms around his waist. "You didn't think I was sneaky enough?"

Sam just laughed slightly. "No, I didn't. I guess I'll just have to remember that for future reference."

Jess just chuckled slightly before pulling him in for another hug. "Well it wasn't easy. I thought for sure you'd figured it out this morning. But I'm glad you liked it."

"I did." He leaned down to kiss her again this time letting it linger for a moment.

After a moment more Jess smiled slightly and pushed away from Sam and headed back towards the table. "Ugh, I'm exhausted. I never knew trying to keep a secret could be so tiring." She began clearing the dinner plates not noticing the slightly uncomfortable smile Sam gave her.

"Yeah, I know," he mumbled slightly fidgeting slightly with the topic. "But I guess it was worth it. Look at all this stuff." Sam couldn't help but smile as he surveyed his pile of presents. There was a ton. And the best part about it…they were things that he actually wanted.

Granted, he had always cherished the meager gifts that Dean had gotten him over the years. Usually a book that he'd been eyeing for a while or a special pocket knife or trinket, but most of his gifts had been things that had served another purpose in his life of hunting. Or they were things that would get left behind in their nomadic life as being 'unnecessary'.

But looking at these presents, his apartment, and Jess, he knew that these were things that wouldn't be left behind out of necessity. He was done with that life.

"You okay?" Jess asked as she returned from the kitchen and noticed the change in Sam's mood.

He looked up at her again and smiled. "Yeah, I'm great. Just…I can't believe how lucky I am." He pulled Jess to him and she giggled slightly.

"Well, you deserve it."

They kissed again and then stood with their arms wrapped around each other just enjoying the other's company for another long moment.

"Sam?" Jess asked hesitantly before pulling away slightly so she could look him in the eye. "Why are the holidays so important to you?"

Sam just frowned slightly confused by the question.

"I mean…Christmas, Thanksgiving, Birthdays. You always seem so…happy to celebrate them like…you're a kid experiencing them for the first time."

Sam squirmed slightly in Jess's grip and then tried to disentangle himself. "I don't know. I just…"

But Jess wasn't letting go. She moved with him pinning him with her inquisitive gaze and Sam found that he couldn't look into her suddenly sorrowful eyes.

After another moment, Sam finally sighed accepting defeat and looked up at her. "We never really…celebrated those things when I was growing up. So now…I guess it is all kind of new to me."

Jess's gaze had turned confused and sad as he spoke and just blinked a couple of times as she tried to make sense of what he was saying. "Not birthdays…or Christmas?" she asked with an almost incredulous sounding voice.

Sam looked away suddenly very uncomfortable with the turn of conversation and moved to pull Jess's hands away again. "We just…it never seemed that important." Finally braking free he stepped back several steps to give himself some space turning his back to her. "Of course, Dean did try to do something every year at first. Usually a present and a cupcake with a candle. Nothing big. But as I got older it just wasn't…" He finally shrugged and tried a carefree smile that didn't quite reach his eyes as he turned back to her. "It was just the way we were."

Jess just stood there with a sad look on her face and Sam's smile started to slip slightly and he finally turned away to start cleaning up suddenly needing something to do.

Stupid, stupid, stupid! I shouldn't have told her that. Now she thinks I'm even more of a freak than she did before. Just great, Sam. Way to make an impression.

As he lifted a stack of plates from the table, small hands sliding around his waist stopped him in mid-motion. Standing there with his eyes closed against the emotions rolling through him, he just let Jess hug him from behind not sure what else to do. After a moment, she moved around beside him and turned him towards her. Noticing the stack of plates he still held in his hands, she gently took them from him and set them on the table.

Not sure what she was going to say, Sam just stood there looking into her piercing eyes and swallowed hard.

Putting a hand on the side of his face she smiled softly. "I like that you enjoy celebrating the holidays so much. In fact I think it's cute."

Sam searched her eyes for any sign of pitty but only saw her love showing back at him.

"I'm just sorry that that is the reason why. And if it means celebrating every holiday with a big party just so I can see that big goofy smile on your face?"

With that Sam smiled a half-smile and continued to stare at her.

"Then I guess I'll just have to be a little more social and invite the whole campus for your birthday party next year."

Sam blinked once and then laughed out loud before pulling Jess into a big hug. "Oh, God, I knew there was reason I loved you." He pulled back to give her a kiss and then let it deepen as their hands explored each other's body slipping over shoulders and under hems as their love intensified.

Reluctantly pulling away, Sam looked down at Jess's flushed face slightly breathless at how beautiful she looked and gave her a slightly mischievous look. "You still want to go to bed?"

She just looked up at him with slight confusion that slowly melted into hunger and love in her eyes before she smiled in the same mischievous way. "More than anything."

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Sitting in the far back booth, John was engrossed in the paper he was reading when his sons came in the front door.

Recognizing Sam's voice, he looked up and frowned slightly when he noticed both boys. Dean seemed frustrated but trying not to show it and Sam looked… He wasn't sure what Sam looked like.

Since he had been released from the hospital after his 'miraculous' recovery, Sam had seemed…different. He knew that his son was very vocal in his dislike of the hunt and still remembered some of the fights they'd had right before he left for college and at first had put it towards that and the fact that he hadn't seen his son in almost four years except for that little bit of time back in Chicago.

But this was different.

As the boys came closer, he could see Dean eyeing Sam warily and when they got to the booth they both seemed to stop and look at each other. John kept quiet waiting to see what would happen as both boys communicated with looks until finally Dean rolled his eyes and huffed out a frustrated breath before snagging a chair from the table next to them leaving Sam to sit in the other booth seat.

"Everything okay?" John asked still not quite sure what was going on between the two usually inseparable brothers.

"Fine," Dean said succinctly and Sam mumbled the same before the waitress came to take their orders. Dean took on his usual role of flirting and Sam rolled his eyes at his brother's antics leaving John feeling that at least something was still the same. But after she left, an uncomfortable silence seemed to settle over the table and John shifted slightly trying to figure out what was wrong.

But maybe it was best to leave it be. Let sleeping dogs lie or however that saying went.

"So did you boys get checked out alright?"

Dean looked up from his coffee and nodded. "Yes, sir, no problems there."

John just nodded and then tried to think of something else to say but nothing came to him so he just went back to his paper. Reading the obituaries he studied the little blurbs of death and would make notes on possible supernatural activity before heading back to the front of the paper to read the headlines.

Sam and Dean both seemed engrossed with their coffee not finding anything to talk about and everyone seemed to breathe a sigh of relief when their food finally came.

As he ate, John went over the last few days trying to figure out what could have caused such a rift between the boys but couldn't really find anything out of the ordinary. Of course, Dean had hovered like a mother hen over Sam after he had finally woken up. Fussing and asking questions of what Sam might remember about when he was sick and if there was anything to connect Lillian to this, but so far Sam had not come up with anything saying that it was all pretty much a blur.

And for some reason this didn't seem right.

After all, John had been pretty sure that after what Dean had told him about Sam's illness and his run in with Lillian before he'd killed her that this was probably all connected.

But of course he had been wrong before.

"So do you boys have any idea where you want to go from here?"

Dean and Sam both looked up and then glanced at each other before shaking their heads. "No, sir, we hadn't really discussed it. Do you have any possibles?"

John looked down at his plate for a moment and then took a sip of coffee before answering. "Not really. I've got a possible lead on the Demon though."

"So you're leaving," Sam said without looking up from his food stopping both John and Dean. Putting his fork down, Sam sat back in the booth and crossed his arms. "Right?" he asked with obvious accusation and John just stared at him unable to deny the accusation.

"You know well enough that this is something that needs to be looked into."

Sam just huffed out a little laugh and turned away shaking his head. "Right. Because it couldn't possibly be like the other hundred times you thought you had a lead on the Demon," Sam said bitterly while silently Lillian was thinking this was perfect.

"Sam," Dean started but Sam cut him off.

"No, Dean. It's always been like this. We both know the hunt is more important to him."

"That's not true," John said his voice going cold as his anger flared.

"Isn't it? You never came when I called about Dean dying. Hell, you even left us after the Daevas attack."

"I did that to protect you."

"Right," Sam said laughing slightly. "Because we're more of a target if we stay together." Sam shook his head and bit his lip as he continued to stare at John. "That is such bullshit."

"Sam!" Dean called out a little shocked at how Sam was acting and looked around at the ever increasing sea of eyes turned towards them.

"Watch what you say, Son," John replied evenly staring down Sam fully aware of the crowd of onlookers.

"Or you'll what? Turn me over your knee and spank me? I'm not a kid anymore, Dad. So don't try to justify your leaving with that load of crap. Just say it for what it is. You. Can't. Stand. Being. Around. Us."

Both John and Dean just sat there with slightly shocked expressions on their faces at Sam's words.

"That's not it at all, Sam," John said quietly which only seemed to infuriate Sam even more.

Clamping his jaw tightly trying to keep up the act and not to smile at how well this was going, Sam threw his napkin down on the table before starting to get up from the booth. "I'm not hungry anymore," he said before storming towards the door leaving a room full of people staring after him.

The waitress stood back a little from the table watching as the angry, young man walked away from the others and wondered what had happened. She turned back to the table slowly not sure what to do. "Coffee?" she asked hesitantly.

Dean looked up at the waitress and then got up to go after his brother. As he pushed through the door he saw Sam sitting against the Impala almost nonchalantly and his blood began to boil. "What the hell was that?"

Sam looked over at him with an unconcerned look and just shrugged. "Just thought it needed to be said."

Dean started to say something but couldn't. After a few false starts he finally managed, "What the hell is up with you, Sam? Or is that the problem?"

Sam turned to him with a confused look. "What are you talking about?"

"What happened to you? Ever since you woke up from that…sickness, you've been a totally different person. If I thought it was possible, I'd think you were…"

Sam got up from the Impala's hood and squared his shoulders to meet Dean head-on. "You'd think what? That I'm possessed?"

When Dean didn't say anything Sam paused. "You think that's it don't you?" He held out his arms wide. "Well go ahead. Test me." He pulled his arms in and glared at Dean. "I'm not possessed, Dean."

Dean bit his lip. "I know," he said softly never taking his eyes off of Sam.

"You-" Sam started then stopped confused before Dean's answer registered. "You tested me?!" Inside, Lillian was impressed with hunter's thoroughness but knew that the usual possession tests wouldn't work on her.

"You would've done the same thing, Sam."

"Bullshit, Dean," Sam said now completely furious. "You don't think that about your brother."

"Yeah, well, when he's been acting like an ass. I do. And since we both know that your 'illness' wasn't exactly normal I can't help but wonder."

"I told you, Dean. I don't remember," Sam said in frustration and then taking a deep breath huffed it out before dropping his head for a moment to cool down. "Look. If you don't think you can trust me, then don't."

Dean opened his mouth for a retort and then stopped. "What?"

"Don't. I don't care anymore. If you think I'm not trustworthy, then I'll save you the worry. Just open the car and let me get my stuff."

Dean felt like a fish out of water after that blow. Sam wanted to leave? When did that happen? How did that happen? "Sam-"

"Don't," Sam said holding up and hand in protest. "Just don't."

Both brothers stood there for a moment before Dean moved slowly to open the door.

Sam reached in to get his bag and computer before settling them on his shoulder never once looking up at Dean.

"Sam, please," Dean said softly hoping that Sam would listen.

"Goodbye, Dean," Sam said flatly and then walked away leaving Dean standing there holding his keys in front of the open passenger door watching Sam leave him once again.

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Sam woke with a start, breathing hard and staring out into the dark in confusion.

What the hell?

Bits and pieces of the dream drifted through his mind and only served to confuse him more.

Why was he leaving, Dean? He hadn't even talked to his brother in almost three years. But then why was he dreaming about them fighting? And him being possessed? Too many thoughts flitted through his mind and he couldn't make any sense of them.

"Sam?"

Jess's sleepy voice came from beside him and he looked towards her even though he couldn't really see her in the dark.

"It's okay," he said quietly reaching up to grab her hand that was resting against his shoulder and kissed it lightly. "Just a dream." Or at least he hoped it was.

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A/N: Okay. Yay! I hope it was worth the looonnnnggg wait. Let me know what you think by sending me a review. I love reviews, they help stimulate my creativity. And I PROMISE it will not be this long between updates again.