Phase Three

Chapter 3: Not Ready for This Sort of Thing

How, you may ask, is this going to have some Mondler in it? O-oh, you shall see, my friends…You shall see :) I'm super excited to write this series. Like, really super excited. Oh, and Rachoey? Don't even get me started on my dislike for them as a couple…Randler works together much better, in my opinion, despite my deep love for Mondler and general affection for R/R. That's just my opinion, though.

~.~

"Well, good morning, you," Monica laughed as Chandler finally emerged from his room in boxers and a t-shirt with an open robe, obviously hung-over. "Judging from the state that you and Rachel are in, I would guess you guys had some fun last night."

Chandler scoffed at her statement; if she only knew. He sat down on, or rather landed on after barely making it across the living room to the kitchen, one of the bar stools next to the foosball table. "Yea, something like that," he mumbled.

"You want something to eat?" she offered.

Chandler groaned, "Yes, but no." He leaned his elbows against the foosball table, resting his cheek in the palm of his hand. Whatever they had been drinking the night before seemed to be having a worse and worse effect as time went by. "Where is everyone else? "

"Well, Rachel is in about the same state you are, but in our bathroom," Monica explained, starting to make some toast, ignoring his request for no food. "Which, by the way, is really disgusting, because I don't think it will ever come clean from you boys," she looked at him, and he gave a slight smile in apology. "Ross is still with Emily, and," she thought for a second. "No idea where Phoebe and Joey are," she shrugged, buttering the toast after it popped up in the toaster. "By the way, Ross is bringing Emily over later for dinner so we can all officially meet her. Hopefully you're more coherent by then," she added with a smirk, setting the toast down in front of him.

Chandler shook his head. "Thanks, Mon, but," he made a face, "tequila chased with beer just doesn't stay down as well when you're on the 30 side of 25 and not the 20 side of 25."

Monica laughed, sitting down next to him, her own bowl of cereal in hand. "What the hell did you two do last night?"

Chandler laughed out loud, purposely avoiding the question. Instead, he took a small bite of the toast before standing up, hoping that would appease her. "I'm gonna go shower. Thanks for the toast, Mon," he patted her shoulder as he walked past her and into the bathroom, hoping a shower would clear his mind. He needed to get out of there, worried he looked as guilty as he felt, and that Monica would somehow miraculously figure him out.

~.~

Rachel looked up from her spot on the couch, wrapped up in a blanket and reading a book, when the front door opened. "Hey," she whispered, setting the book down in front of her, still gripping its edges.

"Hey," Chandler replied, crossing the kitchen slowly. "Are you reading one of my mom's books?" he asked, after seeing the cover of what she was trying to sneakily hide.

Rachel looked down at the book, then back up. "Only if you don't judge me for it?"

"Well, as long as you don't judge me for being her son, we're even," he grinned, sitting down beside her and pulling the book cover forward so he could see it. "Lust at Dusk. That's a good one."

"Oh! Have you read it?!" Rachel leaned forward in excitement, causing Chandler to laugh out loud.

"Right, because reading about sex that was written by my mother wouldn't completely mess me up or anything."

"Really can't do much more damage," Rachel grinned, going back to her book.

"Hey now," Chandler replied pretending to be hurt as he took the book from her.

"Hey!"

"Well, if you can't play nicely, you don't get your porn!"

"It's not porn," Rachel insisted as she grabbed it back. "It's a romance novel," she huffed, causing Chandler to laugh.

"Whatever you have to tell yourself," he smiled, patting her arm as he settled beside her.

"Are you flirting with me?" Rachel again closed the book, turning to face him.

"Not if you're not flirting with me?" he replied slowly, not sure which answer she was looking for.

"Hm," Rachel sighed, thinking it over for a moment. "Well, we probably shouldn't do that."

"Definitely," Chandler nodded in agreement, watching as Rachel went back to her book. "Hey, um, what are you doing today?"

"Why?" Rachel again looked up.

"We can hang out, right? I mean, we're friends, so, hanging out's ok, because, I think, by definition, hanging out is what friends do," he rambled. "So, what are you doing today? Wanna hang out, or…something?"

Rachel laughed at how cute he looked in his uncertainty. "I think hanging out is allowed. I'm, uh, getting a mani/pedi later," Rachel said, getting an idea. "Oh, you should come!" She grabbed his arm. "There are always a couple of guys there, too!"

"Um, like getting my nails done?" Chandler shook his head. "These guys aren't straight, right?"

"You don't have to get your nails painted or anything," Rachel said as if that should have been obvious, turning towards him completely. "If you get a pedicure, they just massage your feet and legs and file your nails and stuff. It's like…heaven."

"Mmmm," Chandler hummed, thinking it over.

"Oh, come on!" Rachel grabbed his arm in excitement. "Oh! I'll buy you dinner after?"

"Hey, I'm not Joey. You can't just buy me with food," Chandler feigned offense, crossing his arms. "And, I don't think this whole manicure thing would do anything for my supposedly questionable sexuality…"

"Fine, stay here alone," Rachel dropped his arm, standing up, but Chandler grabbed her arm as she turned to go to her room.

"No, stay here and hang out with me."

"No, you come with me," Rachel challenged back, taking his hand off of her arm so she could go to her room to get ready. "And, for the record," she added as she turned around at her door, "I don't think your sexuality should ever be in question again." She winked at him before closing the door.

Chandler sighed in defeat. Damn her. "Fine, but you'd better be taking me somewhere really nice for dinner!" he yelled after her through the closed door.

~.~

"Well, that was fun," Chandler said through gritted teeth as he and Rachel left the nail salon. "One," he held up a finger, "no other men there, but our mailman. Two," he held another finger up, "we run into Janice. And three," he held up a third finger, glaring at Rachel, "You tell Janice we all need to get together to catch up. That woman is going to be calling me for weeks!"

Rachel laughed, grabbing the three fingers he was holding up. "Come on, was it really that bad?"

"Oh, Janice, it's so nice to see you," he began mocking Rachel, pulling his hand away from hers. "We should really all catch up sometime. Oh, dinner? All six of us? That would be so much fun!"

Rachel laughed. "Sorry," she smiled apologetically. "If it makes you feel any better, we do have your apartment, so she's actually going to be calling us for weeks, not you…"

"Well, that makes me feel a little better," Chandler said with a nod as they continued walking. "And, it might have been just a teeny, tiny bit fun other than that," he grinned sheepishly.

"Told you," Rachel elbowed him, and he smiled at her.

"So, where you taking me to dinner?" Chandler asked, purposely brushing his hand against hers every few steps as they walked. Rachel didn't fail to notice, but didn't stop him. She was half hoping he would just hold her damn hand. This felt like an awkward first date in high school, not like two adult friends hanging out.

Friends. He shouldn't hold her hand.

"What?" Chandler finally asked, off the look on Rachel's face, having been glancing at her for the past few minutes. "I don't know your looks."

"Exactly!" Rachel nodded, pointing to one of the usual pizza places they ordered from. Chandler nodded, crossing the street as well.

"Exactly what?"

"You don't know my looks because we, you and me, never hang out," she explained. "Why don't we ever hang out, just us? You hang out with Monica, I hang out with Monica, why isn't it ever just the two of us?" Rachel stopped walking as they reached the restaurant.

"Well," Chandler started slowly. "It's just that, I've kinda always felt like…"

"You've felt like," Rachel urged him on.

"I've kind of always felt like, when it comes to you and Phoebe…I kind of annoy you guys sometimes. Well, a lot of the time," Chandler answered honestly.

"What? Chandler, that's, well, you do sometimes tell just a few too many jokes at our expense, and you don't make the best first impression in the world, but it's not like we dislike you or don't want to see you," Rachel touched his cheek. "You don't annoy me anymore than any other man in the world, if that makes you feel any better."

Chandler laughed. "A little better," he said softly, placing a hand on her forearm, gently pulling her hand away from his face. "This might be pushing the limits on what's allowed…"

Rachel nodded, taking a slow breath in and out, noticing the discrepancy between his words and his actions. He was still holding onto her hand. "Hypocrite," she finally choked out, hating that this still felt like a high school date. Her heart was racing, and he was only holding her hand, standing only slightly too close.

Chandler shrugged, casually dropping her hand as he opened the door for her, placing the same hand on the small of her back as she walked through in front of him.

"Hypocrite," Rachel repeated, glancing back with a playful look in her eyes that showed she didn't really care one bit.

"Guilty," he leaned forward, whispering into her hair as they walked inside. He glided his fingers across her back, his heart skipping a beat when she took his hand this time. If his heart hadn't been about to beat its way out of his chest and possibly half-way across the country from there, he would have smiled. But, with senses or emotions or hormones of something in complete overdrive, he couldn't even force one.

In that instant, he knew. He was more sure than he had been at any time earlier in the day. In that one instant, he knew. Part of him hated it, but he knew.

He was in trouble. Big, big trouble.

~.~

"Today was a lot of fun," Chandler smiled, turning to Rachel as they entered the hallway between apartments 19 and 20.

"Yea, it was," Rachel agreed with a nod. "Well-"

"Where have you guys been?!" Monica opened the door to apartment 20, obviously having heard them come home. Off of their looks, she added, "Ross wanted to bring Emily over, and for all of us to have dinner with her…"

"Oh my god, Mon, I completely forgot," Chandler apologized, suddenly remembering their conversation that morning.

"Sorry, Mon," Rachel added.

"Well, there's still some food. Hurry before Joey gets it all," she moved to let them come in.

"Well, we kind of already ate," Chandler continued apologetically.

"Chandler!" Joey jumped up as he came in. "Did you do anything today worth mentioning?" he asked accusingly.

"I, I, um, I," Chandler looked around the room, suddenly finding it hard to swallow. That didn't take long.

"You need a hint?" Joey moved closed. "Oh, My, God."

Chandler laughed, having forgotten about running into her. "Oh, Janice called, did she?" he continued with a laugh. "Yea, we ran into her today. Rachel here decided it would be a good idea to agree with her when she said we should all catch up sometime."

"Rachel!" Joey stepped towards her. "Why would you do that?! You know she has a way of sucking poor Chandler in. Do you want to make him, and by him, I mean, us, miserable for the next month or so?"

"Who's Janice?" Emily asked, and the other six in the room turned towards her.

"Chandler's ex, very annoying," Ross answered. "Where were you guys all day that you ran into Janice?"

"Nail salon," Rachel replied, sitting down in one of the barca loungers. Everyone else in the room turned immediately towards Chandler.

"You couldn't have lied?" Chandler grumbled, crossing his arms defensively.

"You got your nails done?" Ross asked with a laugh.

"No! Well, not painted, like some people let Rachel talk them into," Chandler shot back defensively, and Ross backed off, suddenly very interested in the pattern on the plate in front of him.

"Dude, seriously?" Joey looked at Chandler.

Chandler shrugged. "She bought me dinner."

"Ah, gotcha," Joey nodded, obviously agreeing that a free dinner would be worth the small hit to his own masculinity as well.

~.~

Chandler sat on the balcony, out of view from anyone who might be inside. The girls had gone home earlier, and Joey had gone to bed early, saying something about an early audition. After Ross and Emily had headed back to Ross's place, he was finally alone. Taking the pack of cigarettes from the flowerpot beneath the window, Chandler sighed.

He couldn't get her off his mind.

She was off-limits, so maybe that was why. Ross, one of his best friends, since college, Ross, had loved her for years. Had dated her. That made her off-limits. He couldn't date her. Couldn't sleep with her. Couldn't kiss her. Couldn't go around holding her hand and acting like he was dating her like he had all day.

He was breaking every damn rule in the book.

And he wasn't even over Kathy yet. He didn't want to be in a relationship. He didn't even want to like someone. How dare she go and make his heart race and his mind become even more incomprehensible than usual when he didn't even want it at the moment.

And why was it Rachel of all people?

Taking a deep drag of his cigarette, he looked up as someone came out the window as well. Speaking of the devil.

"Hey, you," she whispered, brushing some dirt from the ground as she sat beside him.

"Hey," he replied, smiling in spite of himself. She smiled in return, watching as he put out his cigarette, though it was far from gone.

"Was that a date we went on today?" Rachel asked, picking at the chipping flowerpot in an attempt to avoid eye contact.

"I'm kind of afraid it was," Chandler answered, and Rachel nodded in agreement.

"We can't do this, though, can we?" she whispered, looking at the lights from the building across the street rather than at him.

"I-I don't think so," he whispered in return, playing with the pack of cigarettes in his hands, both of them obviously afraid of what eye contact would mean.

"Because of Ro-Ross," Rachel stumbled over the name.

"Because of Ross."

"But, Ross has Emily," Rachel pointed out.

Chandler nodded, more to himself than anything, since Rachel still was avoiding looking at him. "I've thought about that. But…I don't know. He just, he practically worshiped you for so long, and it took so long for you guys to be okay around each other after you broke up, and…I care about him, and you, too much to just go and screw that up as soon as everything is finally normal again."

"Right," Rachel whispered. "God, you're right, huh?"

Chandler brushed his hand against her cheek, turning her face so it was towards him. "You can't just tell me I'm wrong about all of it?" Rachel closed her eyes, shaking her head fiercely before leaning against the brick building behind them. "I know," he whispered, removing his hand from her face. "I've been trying for hours to convince myself of that…"

"Can I-Can I have one?" Rachel choked out, reaching for his cigarettes.

Chandler smiled, nodding as he handed her the pack. "As long as you don't waste it," he said softly, and she smiled, holding back the tears that threatened any second. Less than 48 hours before, this conversation wouldn't have been taking place. How could so much have changed so quickly?

Rachel took a short drag, holding the smoke in her mouth for a moment before exhaling. "We're in pretty big trouble here, aren't we?"

"A whole shit-load of trouble," Chandler agreed, lighting his own cigarette.

"What do we-what do we do?"

"Keep on ignoring it?" Chandler suggested.

"Right," Rachel laughed. "Like we did today? We tried to ignore it, and we ended up on a date."

Chandler nodded. "Yea. Maybe we need to work on our ignoring skills…"

Rachel paused, frowning at the sky as she looked up. When she finally spoke, it was in a barely audible whisper. "I don't want to ignore you, though."

Chandler closed his eyes. His taste for off-limits women was impeccable as of late. He slid his hand beside hers on the concrete, his pinky barely brushing up against hers. "I don't want to ignore you, either."

~.~

Review, please and thank ya! :) Extra credit if you can guess, by chapter titles, what song inspired me to continue this…