JESS 12

Chapter 12

Spoilers: Season 1 up until "Shadow." I kind of flubbed the time line a little because technically in the U.S. the season finale had aired by the time Sam had his birthday, but in this story we're still before "Dead Man's Blood". But other than that, I hope I got things right.

A/N: I'm so sorry for the incredibly long wait but I was having trouble with getting the story to flow from where I was to where I wanted it to go. I think my muse went on hiatus for a while but…I've pretty much got it finished now and I WILL be posting it with more regularity up to the end.

My goal is to post a chapter every two weeks until it is finished. Hopefully, if the Gods allow, next weekend I'll have the next chapter up. Thanks to those who have stuck with me for this long and I hope this is worth the wait.

A/N2: Okay. To reduce confusion, when Sam is with Dean and John, Lillian is in control and I might refer to him as either Sam or Lillian. When he's with Jess, it's just Sam.

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John watched out the window as his two boys exchanged words and worried where this might lead.

He had hoped that he and Sam could put their differences aside and focus on the hunt knowing that Sam now knew what it felt like to lose the love of his life to the Demon. But obviously he had been wrong. He watched the discussion between the two brothers heating up and suddenly realized that he wasn't the only one. Suddenly feeling very uncomfortable at the extra attention he got up to leave. It was time to nip this in the bud before it got any more out of hand.

Flipping out a few bills to cover the tab, he quickly made his way towards the door past the watching customers and waitresses with an uneasy smile. By the time pushed through to the parking lot, Sam was heading down the road with his bag over his shoulder and Dean was just standing there watching him go.

After standing there for a moment in stunned un-comprehension he finally stepped down off the curb and headed towards his eldest son. "What happened?"

Even though he tried to cover it, John could see Dean start a little at his words and then turn sad eyes to his Dad and then John just knew. Sam was leaving. Again.

"He's gone," was all Dean could say without his voice cracking before turning back to watch Sam's retreating back until he finally turned a corner and was gone from sight.

"What do you mean gone? Where's he going?" John asked not liking his eldest's resigned tone.

"I don't know," Dean said turning towards the Impala and pulled his keys out of his pocket only fumbling them slightly as he tried to keep his emotions under control.

"Dean…you have to go after him," John said as he looked to where Sam had gone and then back to Dean.

"No, I don't." Dean's hands shook slightly and his fisted them to keep them from betraying his mind's turmoil. How could this have happened? How could Sam say…? "Why couldn't you just stay for a little longer?" he asked turning to look at his Dad with disappointed eyes. "Does he really mean that little to you?"

John almost took a step back as if Dean had hit but managed to restrain it and just stood a little taller as anger flowed through his veins. Is that what Dean really thought about him?

"You two mean everything to me," John said bitterly. "That's why I left in the first place."

"Yeah, well…you sure have a funny way of showing it," Dean said with sarcastic flair as he stared his father down. "Have fun tracking down your lead," he managed to bite out before getting in the car.

"Dean," John said his anger rising at Dean's attitude—knowing that Dean was right—but trying not to think about. "Dean!"

Dean for his part just started the Impala and revved the engine before starting to pull away without looking at his father the whole time.

"Dean get back here right now!" he shouted as Dean pulled out of the parking space and drove off in the opposite direction as Sam.

"Damn it!" John clenched his hands in anger and then kicked the gravel at his feet sending a few stones pinging off the surrounding cars as he watched Dean drive away. He ran his hand across his face in frustration before glancing back at the diner and then headed towards his own vehicle cursing the whole way.

Damn it! Nice one, John.

How was it, he managed to track down the most obscure hunts from seemingly innocent facts, and yet he couldn't ever seem to read his own sons' emotions?

As he reached his own truck, he forcefully jammed the key in the lock and yanked the door open before slamming it closed behind him. He beat a hand against the steering wheel and cursed out loud a couple of times at his stupidity. Great, John, Sam's barely even out of the hospital and you're already looking for a way to split up again. Of course, he knew that it was for the best but it didn't mean he had to like it.

He hated it in fact.

He hated that he had to be separated from his boys. That he hadn't been able to save Sam the heartache that he had experienced when he'd lost his girlfriend. But most of all, he hated that he had created two soldiers instead of two regular young men.

No, Dean… We both know the hunt is more important to him.

Why couldn't you just stay for a little longer? Does he really mean that little to you?

John closed his eyes against those hurtful words, but he also knew that they were the truth.

Somewhere along the way, he had lost track of what was important and let his thirst for revenge—for the hunt—take over. No matter how he looked at it, the hunt always seemed to come before his family anymore. And he knew it probably would continue until he found and killed the Demon that had killed Mary. But it didn't mean that he couldn't try and change it now.

With a final sigh and a few more curses, he pulled out his phone and hit speed dial. "Jim…we've got a problem."

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As Lillian walked down the street, she couldn't help the giddy rush that went through her at the idea that Sam was all hers now. No more pretending to be the simpering little brother or the insolent son. Now, she could explore Sam's abilities without shame.

She smiled to herself at how easy it had been to get rid of the two idiots that were keeping her from doing what she wanted. And, frankly, she was surprised with herself that she hadn't done it sooner. It would have been so easy to use Sam's powers to just kill the two hunters, but this…this had been so much sweeter.

The look on their faces alone… Ha! Priceless.

It hadn't taken much to find what buttons to push to hurt both John and Dean the most and she had pushed them with flourish.

Especially Dean's. His had been the easiest to figure out.

For all of his tough guy antics, Dean was actually pretty transparent when it came to what he feared the most. And that was Sam's disappointment in him, with only his family leaving him coming in a close second. As for John…all she needed to do was question his orders and throw in a little attitude about the hunt and he went postal.

But now she was free. And with Sam's powers…the sky was the limit.

But first things first.

After walking a few more blocks to make sure that nobody was going to come after her, she casually picked a car on a deserted side street and then used Sam's powers to pop the locks. Digging through Sam's memories, she soon hot-wired the car and was soon zooming down the highway and towards her next target.

"Next stop, Missouri."

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Sam sat staring at the book in front of him not really seeing it as he was lost deep in thought.

His dream the night before had left him wondering and curious about what it meant. He had tried to remember if he'd ever had that argument with his dad and brother but couldn't come up with anything in particular. Of course, after a while all the fights on the subject had started to blur together culminating in the one that had sent him packing.

But the things he had said in his dream?

He closed his eyes and shook himself from the depressing thoughts. He really needed to stop thinking about this. But the idea just kept nagging at him. Why that dream? Why now?

Maybe it was just his subconscious working through his feeling for his family. His discussion with Jess about his family the night before had probably triggered those thoughts and old frustrations. Plus the fact that he had seen his Dad following them earlier that day probably had just added to it. And his dreams had just taken those thoughts to action.

Wow…wasn't that very psycho-analytical thank you very much.

Sam groaned in frustration and threw his head back before rubbing his hands across his face.

God, sometimes he hated how much he over-thought things.

Sighing heaving he shook himself and tried to go back to his reading.

Okay, focus. Gotta study.

He looked back down at his blank notebook and the open book before him and realized he had no clue what he was reading. With a little growl of frustration, he shut the book with a smack and then leaned forward to prop his head on his hands and then ran his fingers back through his hair before working his fingers into the knots at the base of his neck feeling the beginnings of a tension headache brewing in the tight muscles. He just needed to relax. Everything was fine.

Keys rattled in the lock and he looked up to see Jess coming through the door with a stack of books in one arm, and two cups of coffee in the crook of her other arm, while her purse dangled precariously on one shoulder ready to slip down her arm at any second and take out the whole works.

Sam was on his feet and over to the door in two strides reaching for the coffees before they made the trip. As she pulled the keys from the lock, Jess smiled her thanks around the few letters she had held in her mouth.

Finally having a free hand, she grabbed the couple of letters and headed towards the living room. "Ugh, thanks, I was beginning to wonder if I was ever going to get home. You wouldn't believe how busy the coffee shop was," she said as she dropped the books unceremoniously on the side table and then shook out her arm trying to return feeling the numb limb.

Sam just smiled and tried not to laugh as he walked towards her sitting the coffees down on the table. "Long day, honey?" he asked playfully and she just gave him a scathing glare in return.

"Just because you don't have any classes today doesn't mean you have to rub it in," she pouted slightly before coming forward and giving him a hug. She sighed contentedly into his chest as she continued to hug him feeling her shoulders finally start to relax.

Sam wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her hair. He always loved her scent. Like…fresh flowers with a touch of vanilla.

After a few more moments, she finally started to pull away and Sam let his arms slip across her shoulders to where his thumb brushed against one of her collarbones. "Better?"

She nodded and turned away to grab her coffee before slipping off her shoes and heading towards the couch. "So what have you been doing all day?" she asked casually knowing it would draw Sam up short.

"Oh, not much just…studying," he said casually as he plopped down on the other end of the couch and she instantly swung her feet up into his lap.

Taking a sip of her coffee, she looked over at the stack of books on the kitchen table and noticed that it looked incredibly neat and tidy. "Studying what?" she asked casually.

Sam opened his mouth to say what but for the life of him couldn't remember exactly what subject it was. "Um…" When he looked back at the table and then back at Jess, he knew that he was busted. "To tell you the truth…I'm not really sure?" He smiled weakly to try and hide the awkwardness of that statement but failed miserably.

Jess just smiled at him in return. "Yeah, I could tell. That table is waaayyy too neat for you to have been in full study mode," she said pointing back at her obvious, neatly stacked, evidence.

Sam gave a lop-sided grin and blushed slightly as he rubbed her leg self-consciously. She was right and he knew it. He had never been a neat person when it came to research.

Dean had commented on many an occasion that it looked like a notebook had committed suicide and torn itself apart when Sam was researching something in particular.

"Well at least I always make it look nice when I'm done," he said sheepishly and Jess couldn't help but laugh before turning serious again.

"So what's on your mind?"

Sam was quiet as he picked at the seam of the couch and just shrugged.

"Was it about Dean?"

Sam looked up at her in surprise and she just smiled.

"You said his name in your sleep several times last night." Her eyebrows slid together then as if a thought just occurred to her and she pulled her feet up under her. "Does it have anything to do with that nightmare you had the night before?" she asked suddenly with a little worry in her voice.

Sam didn't say anything for a moment and turned his attention to the knee of his jeans. "Yeah," he said quietly. "I guess…it just got me to thinking about him I guess."

"Do you think something might be wrong?" Jess asked with concern in her voice and sat up a little straighter.

Sam went to answer and then stopped. He hadn't really thought about it that way. It had always seemed like when they were growing up that he and Dean seemed to have a sixth sense about the other and their Dad had always been the one to say follow those feelings. Sometimes, your gut instincts are the only thing you can really trust in this life.

But, that had been before. And that had been a different life.

"No," he said shaking his head in denial. "Nah, he's fine I'm sure." But now that it had been brought up, he wasn't truly convinced that was true.

"Have you talked to him lately?" Jess asked still slightly worried.

Sam wanted to laugh at the thought. He hadn't really spoken to any of his family since he left for college, but of course, he couldn't tell her that. He didn't really want to think how long it had really been. For all his talk of wanting to be normal, he missed the un-normal of his life growing up and he really missed his brother. "No, but…I would have heard if something bad had happened." He hoped.

"Yeah, I'm sure you're right," she said softly and bit her lip before turning her gaze to her coffee cup and began fiddling with the lid.

Sam knew that Jess didn't believe in the supernatural the way that he did, and she didn't know how dangerous their life could be or had been growing up; but she was never one to think that there wasn't some kind of higher power that worked in mysterious ways.

And sometimes dreams weren't just dreams.

"You think I should call him, don't you?" Sam asked knowing the answer already.

Jess just sighed in relief and nodded in agreement before looking up at him again. "You never know, Sam. I know it sounds…crazy, but…sometimes…you just can't ignore your intuition."

The similarities between what she had just said and what their Dad always said sent a shiver through Sam and just had to nod not knowing what else to say.

Jess set her cup on the coffee table and scooted across the sit next to him and gave him a small kiss as she ran her fingers through his hair. "Call him. For me?"

Sam just nodded and leaned his forehead against hers for a moment before she pulled away.

"I'm gonna go take a shower. I'll be out in a little bit." And with that she left him alone.

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A/N: Please go and leave me a review and let me know what you think. I really like to know what you think good or bad. Thanks again for reading. See you next time.