("Band of Gold"
By Freda Payne

Now that you're gone,
All that's left is a band of gold
All that's left of the dreams I hold
Is a band of gold
And the memories of what love could be
If you were still here with me

You took me from the shelter of my mother
I had never known or loved any other
We kissed after taking vows
But that night on our honeymoon,
We stayed in separate rooms

I wait in the darkness of my lonely room
Filled with sadness, filled with gloom
Hoping soon
That you'll walk back through that door
And love me like you tried before

Since you've been gone,
All that's left is a band of gold
All that's left of the dreams I hold
Is a band of gold
And the dream of what love could be
If you were still here with me

INSTRUMENTAL BRIDGE

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Don't you know that I wait
In the darkness of my lonely room
Filled with sadness, filled with gloom
Hoping soon
That you'll walk back through that door
And love me like you tried before

Since you've been gone,
All that's left is a band of gold
All that's left of the dreams I hold
Is a band of gold
And the dream of what love could be
If you were still here with me
{repeat and fade out} )

CHAPTER 3: Sake and TV

She awoke in the dark alone, like some many times in the past. As always, it was 4:23 a.m. She couldn't fall back asleep after that time, the reason unsure to her. She remembered that morning when she first awoke at 4:23 a.m., from some sort of dream that she couldn't really remember, except small fragments that now were faded to the further regions of the library in her mind. Maybe she had misfiled it somewhere, not that it mattered much in the past four years.

Has it really been that long?

She was unsure for a moment, but then assured herself it had been four years. It had been four years since she killed that one little life, four years since the El Paso Massacre and four years since Greg left her. She couldn't help about think about that one day, where two of the most major events of her life took place. One of them was at that Twin Pines chapel, where she and the Vipers and Snake Charmer himself decided to pay a visit to Black Mamba. Even a while after, she was surprised that she had survived the gunshot to the head, delivered from Bill's Colt.

At least she's sleeping, she thought to herself.

She tossed the pillow she was hugging aside on the bed, looking up at the ceiling as she turned onto her back. She wondered if the cause of awaking at this particular time was because of Greg leaving her. She hadn't been able to get herself into the familiar, comfortable position that she used to when she was with Greg. She tried everything she could think of: sleep aides, warm milk, lip-stick red Seconals and sex. But she still awoke at that particular time. She wasn't sure what to call it, but she believed it wasn't insomnia. She knew that she fell asleep and then wake up at that time. Insomniacs didn't get any sleep. She climbed out of bed, switching on the light on her bedside table.

Her bedroom had wood grain walls and black tiles floors, a dresser, a night stand and a king size bed. The apartment was a lot bigger than the one she used to share with Greg. A center oval-shaped hallway connected everything: kitchen, dining room and study. There were two bathrooms, the guest one being near the entryway to the study.

O-Ren pulled her hair into a ponytail, the robe hugging her as she walked from her bedroom to the study. None of the Crazy 88 were required to be there, seeing that the building that the apartment resided was heavy on security. She didn't need to worry about other yakuza clans sending someone to kill her. In one more week, she would rule the crime council or die trying to.

The study had become more of a video store and TV room, O-Ren having to become an avid collector of various 70s grind house cinema films, including exploitation films like "Coffey" and "Assault on Precinct 13". She also dug the B-horror and some kung fu and samurai films. One of her favorite B-Horror movies happened to be "The Velvet Vampire". She had acquired the taste for such movies from Bill, who actually owned a few of the 35mm masters for the samurai films. She would remember the Saturday nights that she and he would watch them, back when she was in her teens. It was in that she came to realize what assassinations were, an honorable public service. Her whole collection of VHS and DVDs rested on the shelves of the study where books were normally at. She did have a few books about the genre of films she admired, including "Sex & Zen and a Bullet to the Head", one of her favorite Hong Kong Cinema reference books. Also in the room was a mini bar, where she retrieved a bottle of warm sake and a small cup. It would be unusual for someone to have sake at that time in the morning, but then again, sake was always good at anytime. She sat the cup and bottle on the table in front of her as she sat down on the couch. It took her a minute to find the remote to the flat-screen TV, seeing that it has fallen somewhere into the cushions of the couch. She finally found it and turned it on.

There wasn't much on at 4:30 in the morning, except a rerun of the TV show "Sexchores". Not even the sex being shown was stimulating in any way. Normally, it would in more ways than one, but not at that moment. That was beside the point. She felt as if she were lacking, as if she were a jigsaw puzzle that wasn't complete. The feeling had lingered since Greg left that day after her return from El Paso. No matter what she did, no matter what emotion she hid or shown, it was always there. She tried to fill it in with platonic partners, trying both genders. Though they seemed willing to love her, she didn't feel the same as she had when she was with Greg. It was through this search that she met Asimi Yubari, the oldest of the three Yubari sisters. She had met Asimi at a bar called "The Stone Fish". She was a skilled assassin, much like O-Ren had been. Asimi had a connection, which gave O-Ren the sense that she was trustworthy. Not only did Asimi watch O-Ren's back, but was also a good partner, for a while. A few months later, Asimi decided to retired from the world of the assassin. She wanted to leave Tokyo and move to the country side, where she would take care of both of her younger sisters, including the slightly unstable Gogo. However, Gogo didn't want to leave. O-Ren knew how hard it was on Asimi, also knowing the fact that Asimi wouldn't be able to leave her sister behind. O-Ren then decided to help out, by promising Asimi that she would make Gogo a bodyguard for her and to keep an eye on her. Asimi and Yuki left, and Gogo's repetition had at that point begun to skyrocket.

She got up from the couch, deciding to put in a DVD. She went over to the case, pulling out one of the martial arts DVDs. It was "Bai fa mo nu zhuan II", the one that she started her collection with. She placed the DVD into the player, heading back over to the couch. She accessed a certain scene, but not before switching the audio language to English. Though she could have had it on any other languages available on the DVD, she chose English for pure aesthetic value. The scene she had jumped to was almost towards the ending of the film, where Cho Yi-Hang comes back into the life of the white-haired Bride, Lien Ni-Chang. At times she felt like Lien Ni-Chang, alone and a bit angry at times. She often caught herself thinking about Greg and her life four years ago, much like how the Bride with White Hair did with Cho Yi-Hang. The only difference, other than that O-Ren was real, was that she hoped that Greg would come back. She was hoping that security would call up, letting her know that Greg Lowndes was there to see her. She would stand in the doorway, waiting for him to step off the elevator, like a puppy waiting for its master to come home, ready to love without question or thought.

Yet four years had past, no word or trace. She had tried to track him down within the first six months after he left, but the W.M.T.P. was the only path that lead to Greg and was also the only obstacle she had to deal with. Unfortunately, like the doctor/patient privilege, they weren't allowed to give out where Greg had chosen to go. It wasn't easy for her to track down Greg like it had been for Bill to find [BEEP], for the pure fact that Bill didn't have to deal with the U.S. Government. The W.M.T.P., which Greg failed to inform her, was a part of the World Health Organization, which itself was a part of the United Nations Organization. She tried everything she could think of, including talking with Greg's family. They didn't know where he went to, but he had told them that he would be interning a whole for the W.M.T.P. They assumed that O-Ren would be with him during the internship. After giving up the search, a few more months had passed. Within those months, O-Ren felt useless. If it weren't for Sofie being there for her, she never would have been able to pull herself out of the slump that she was in. One whole year had passed when O-Ren finally felt somewhat better. She had decided to go home to Tokyo and try to take over the business of crime, with Bill's support. It was, after all, the only thing she had that she knew about well. Before moving, she took Greg's car to his parents' house, as well as the key to the storage unit, where all of Greg's stuff that hadn't been broken had been stored.

She had a third cup of sake, which was going to be the last one for the day. She had taken it back over to the mini bar. At that point, the lovers on the screen had re-embraced each other once again, with a soft and powerful melody about love and youth playing over the soundtrack as they kissed. The song began to make O-Ren tear up, as it had so many times before. She never watched this film in front of anyone, not even Sofie. She didn't want anyone to see her cry or close to crying. She was so close to achieving her goal. Any sign of weakness to any member of her group would signal the fall of the Crazy 88. How could they victorious if their leader was weak?

She wiped away the forming tears, collecting herself before she could collapse into a sobbing mess. She stopped the movie and turned off the TV, heading back to her room. She got into a hot shower, hoping that it would help clear her mind up. It sort of helped, washing away the thoughts of earlier. After drying her hair, she pulled it back into a ponytail. During the search for Greg, she had completely forgotten about wanting to grow her hair out. It was after she begun her new venture that she decided to grow it out. She decided to be casual today, putting on a black T-shirt and pants to match. She donned a pair of Prada boots, draping each leg of the pants over them. She put on a pair of earrings, not caring about what pair it was. By the time she finished, it was already 5:33 a.m. Her housekeeper wouldn't be in at 6 to begin making breakfast.

She headed back to the study, turning on the TV once again. She flipped through the channels, trying to find one that had the morning news. All she could find was a show where amateurs performing human tricks could send in videos. She tuned in, just in time to see a teenage girl break a metal spoon using her butt and a pair of thong underwear she was wearing. O-Ren noticed that the girl's hair color and the fact that she was wearing a schoolgirl outfit.

Say, that girl looks a lot like Gogo from behind, O-Ren thought to herself with an awkward smirk as she changed the channel, to one that finally had the news.