Phase Three

Chapter 7: It Isn't Love, If You Don't Want to Talk About it

~.~

Rachel practically ran into her apartment, glancing at her watch. 2 o'clock on the dot. Not late yet. Looking around, though, she realized that Chandler wasn't there yet, either. They'd agreed on 2, right? Just as she frowned at the clock on the stove, Chandler burst through the door, a grin immediately spreading across her face as he slammed the door behind him, rushing over to her. Wrapping his arms around her, he kissed her frantically on the lips before kissing her neck as well.

"Monica?" he finally said, and Rachel shook her head.

"Working lunch and dinner," she replied, moving his face back up for another kiss on the mouth. "Joey?"

"Auditions all day," he mumbled, again kissing his way down to her neck as they moved towards the kitchen table. "Phoebe?"

"Clients until 6," Rachel replied as she loosened his tie. "God, I wish I didn't have to go back to work…"

"You have to go back?" Chandler frowned, pulling back for a moment, "I took the rest of the afternoon off."

"Sorry," she apologized, kissing him again as she attempted to make it up to him.

"That just means we'll have to make the most of it," he smiled against her lips, lifting her hips up so that she was actually sitting on the table. Rachel undid his belt, quickly unfastening his pants as well. Chandler gasped when she pulled him forward by the tie, trying to get him to lean back on top of her.

"Maybe not," Rachel laughed. "We might break the table."

Chandler scoffed, "Uh, hasn't broke yet…"

Rachel just nodded, kissing him again as he ran his hands up her thighs, pushing her skirt up in the process. "Wait, what?" she pulled back. "Who else has had sex here?' Chandler just laughed, shaking his head as he tried to kiss her again. "No, seriously," she repeated. "Who has? Joey?" she asked expectantly, "Phoebe? Monica?"

Chandler again laughed. "Yes, yes, yes, and yes. You might just be the only one who hasn't."

"Right," Rachel scoffed, not believing him.

"Phoebe and some guy, not too long after she moved in. Ross and Carol. Monica and Fun Bobby. Joey and lord knows who, and," he paused.

"And…" Rachel tapped her finger on his chest. Chandler shrugged shyly. "You and…?"

"Well, we're about to make it you and me, so, let's not talk about that," he laughed, kissing her again, though this time with long, slow, infuriating kisses instead of the hurried kisses from before.

"Mmm, okay," Rachel mumbled against his lips as he lifted her slightly up off the table, sliding her panties down.

"And people say I talk too much," Chandler laughed, but quickly stopped as she pushed his pants to the floor. He kicked them off, along with his shoes, as he moved completely between her legs, pressing himself up against her as her kisses became more intense. As she wrapped her legs completely around his body, he forgot that they hadn't even bothered to lock the front door. But, at that moment, Ross or God or Rachel's mom could walk through that door, and it probably wouldn't have stopped him for a second.

~.~

Chandler sat in the green chair beside the orange couch at Central Perk, reading the paper and tapping his foot to the song running through his head. He practically jumped when he reached for his coffee, seeing that Phoebe had been watching him for quite some time. She sat down beside him, almost on top of him, and he looked at her curiously.

"What's up, Phoebs?" he laughed, wondering why she was sitting next to him in the chair instead of on the couch.

"Oh, I was just seeing what all of the excitement of this is about," she motioned to him, and he still looked at her like she was crazy.

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, Monica has been all cuddly with you for as long as I've known you. And Rachel seems to have jumped on that bandwagon lately as well," she explained. "So, I thought I would see why. But, this," she motioned between them, "doesn't work so much with us, does it?" Chandler squinted at her, still trying to figure her out. Did she know something was up with him and Rachel, or was Phoebe just being…Phoebe? "Yea, no, we don't have the right chemistry," she attempted to get up, but was having trouble. "Yea, I'm carrying a litter of babies, so I'm gonna need some help here…" Chandler laughed, helping her get up. "Oh, you," she patted him on the head before walking up to the counter to order. Chandler continued to stare after her, trying to figure out exactly what that was all about. He finally shrugged, going back to his newspaper and foot-tapping.

And, at that moment, Rachel walked in the door. And he thanked God and a taxi driver and New York City traffic for her not walking in thirty seconds earlier. Because when he saw her, and she saw him, he grinned in a way that warmed him to the very core of his being. And there is no way in hell Phoebe wouldn't have caught that if she had still been sitting beside him.

And, in that moment, both of them failed to notice Phoebe watching them from the counter, knowing smile on her face as her suspicions were even further confirmed.

~.~

"I've got something that's gonna make you happy," Rachel walked into the guys' apartment. Chandler looked up from where he was sitting at the foosball table, eating a sandwich and reading a magazine.

"Other than your presence?" Chandler smiled sweetly, and Rachel rolled her eyes, handing him the Knicks tickets from behind her back. "Holy shit, these are practically courtside," he looked at her in disbelief

"Yea, my mom got them from my dad in the divorce, and she gave them to me, so," Rachel shrugged, but looked at him like there was more.

"And…"

Rachel sighed. "And, Monica kinda told me to use them to bribe you guys to get our apartment back. You don't have to, though. You can have them anyway. Well, that might be hard to explain. You can unofficially have them, either way," Rachel frowned.

"You can have your apartment back," Chandler grinned, standing up and giving her a quick kiss. "I mean, I'll have to talk to Joey, but these could be the worst Knicks tickets in the world, and he would still be okay with it because it's the Knicks."

"You're the best," Rachel grinned, giving him another quick kiss.

"You just gave me season tickets for the Knicks. Pretty sure you're actually the best," he wrapped his arms around her. "And, I'm not so sure this whole living arrangement is very legal…"

Rachel laughed, but pulled away from him quickly with the door opened. Monica walked in, raising her eyebrows at Rachel. Rachel nodded, and Monica grinned.

"I knew you boys would be easy to crack!" Monica pointed her finger at Chandler, who just shrugged, grabbing his tickets and heading to his room.

~.~

Rachel smiled, resting her head against Chandler's chest as she ran a hand through his sweaty hair. "You're the best, you know that?"

"I do what I can," he grinned in return, kissing the top of her head.

"No, seriously," she added, grinning as well. "You are the best. How did you get to be the best?"

Chandler laughed, holding a finger up as if to say to hold on for a second before getting out of bed.

"Hey," Rachel objected as he left her side, pulling boxers on as he went over to his dresser. Instead of staying put, she followed him, pulling on the tshirt he had been wearing earlier.

"You're impatient," he teased, digging through one of his drawers. "And, I'm pretty sure you are also the proud owner of a good three-fourths of my tshirts," he grinned, pulling a box out of one of the drawers.

"Is that a jewelry box?" Rachel laughed, moving closer.

"It might be," Chandler said defensively. "In my defense, my grandmother left it to me when she died, since I'm the only grandchild," he explained, pulling a small piece of paper out and handing it to Rachel. "It's probably worth some money, but I'd feel pretty bad selling any of it."

Rachel took the paper, literally laughing out loud. "Oh my god, I can't believe you kept this!" she continued to laugh, staring at the drawing that Monica had made for him when he was dating Kathy.

"It has been very informative," Chandler nodded with a grin.

"Well, you, mister, are a very good student," Rachel smiled, wrapping her arm around his waist as she moved in to look at the rest of the contents of the box. "That's really pretty," she picked up a necklace from the jewelry box.

"Huh," he looked at the simple necklace she was holding, a thin chain with a single, small pearl in the middle, an also small diamond on each side. "It's not too…boring for you?" he asked, not really picturing it as something that would fit her tastes.

"No, it's simple. In a good way," she nodded, and he took it from her hands, moving to put it around her neck. "Chandler," she shook her head in protest.

"What? It's been sitting here for the past, like, ten years. For all I know it's not even worth anything. Might as well be worn," he put it around her neck, brushing her hair out of the way and planting a single kiss on the back of her bare neck that sent shivers up her spine.

Rachel smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Oh my god, I lo-"

Chandler cut her off, kissing her hard, to the point that he knocked her backwards, stumbling towards the bed. She couldn't say that word. They hadn't even discussed what they were. For all he knew, they were just messing around. They would still have lunch every day, hang out (though more with everyone else around since both Monica and Phoebe were acting suspicious), and then would sneak over to see each other in the middle of the night, some nights for sex, some to just sleep together.

Did that make it a relationship?

Even if it did, they hadn't talked about it. It seemed like an unspoken agreement not to. It wasn't complicated if they didn't speak about it. Kind of like, it wasn't dating unless they called it dating. It wasn't a relationship if they didn't call it a relationship. If they didn't say the L-word, they couldn't be feeling it. That would really make it too complicated.

Thank god for Ross being occupied with Emily lately. Even though Ross and Emily were getting serious, Chandler still couldn't move past the fact that Rachel had been Ross's Rachel for so many years. And he had not too long ago gotten out of a relationship that had begun by breaking Joey's trust; he didn't want to do that to Ross as well. He didn't want to see the look on Ross's face that he had seen on Joey's.

So, they didn't talk about it. And Chandler tried his best to avoid any alone time with Ross, too consumed with guilt that he, in all actuality, had no reason to be feeling.

Rachel pulled back slowly, out of breath from the kiss. Or from what she had just about said out loud. She hadn't even meant to; it had slipped. She didn't really feel that way, did she? It had only been a few weeks. They weren't even anything. They weren't together. They were just friends. Friends who really, really, really enjoyed each others' company.

Staring into his eyes, she realized his chest was rising and falling with the same intensity of her own. He leaned down to kiss her quickly on the lips, then the tip of the nose, then the forehead, before leaning his forehead against hers. Rachel wrapped her arms around him, his arms securely around her as well. She closed her eyes, not sure if she had freaked him or herself out more by almost saying those damned three little words.

God damn those three little words.

~.~

"Ugh, why did we move apartments the first time?" Rachel groaned, carrying a box back to her own apartment. "Oh, right, because you lost our apartment," she smiled at Monica.

"And then got it back!" Monica walked across the living room to her former bedroom, glad to have it back.

"No, Mon, I got it back," Rachel argued, walking back out the door for another box. She came back this time with Chandler, who was holding an even bigger box, following her into her room.

"Well, I wish I could help, but," Phoebe motioned to her very pregnant belly, sitting in one of the guys' chairs that had yet to be moved back to their apartment.

"God, these are really all shoes?" Chandler asked, practically dropping the box in Rachel's room. "How many pairs of shoes do you have?"

Rachel looked at the ground, mumbling.

"I'm sorry, I didn't catch that?"

"I said, I have one hundred fifty-seven pairs of shoes," she admitted, to which Chandler's eyes became very wide. "And, I wear them all," she grabbed one from the box, tossing it playfully at him.

"Whatever," he shook his head in disbelief, tossing the shoe back into the box before heading back for more. Rachel watched him walk out, starting to put things away in her closet. "Hey, what's going on?" Chandler asked as he came out of Rachel's room, this time to find Ross, Emily, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica all gathered around.

"Ross was just about to tell us something big," Monica explained.

"Well, uh," Ross started off nervously, "Emily and I, we, um…we've decided to get married."

The other four in the room exchanged glances, not sure what the reaction should be to that.

"Oh! Are you pregnant, too?!" Phoebe finally asked, sounding excited about that possibility.

"No," Emily shook her head fiercely.

"We just decided to-to just, go for it," Ross explained with a nervous laugh.

"I mean, we know it's a bit hasty, but it just feels so right," Emily added, stopping when Rachel slowly came into the room, leaning against her doorframe. Ross slowly turned to face her, trying to gauge her reaction.

"Hey, we were just telling the guys that, that we…"

"No, yea, I heard," Rachel nodded, swallowing slowly, trying to decipher why she still had that sinking heart feeling at that news, why it stung her heart like a slap across the face. Ross getting married shouldn't sting like that, should it? Ross was getting married. Ross. Her ex, Ross. Her so-called lobster, Ross. She was no longer Ross's Rachel, so it shouldn't sting at all to hear that news. She had moved on as well. There was no reason for her heart to sink. No reason to sting so badly. She stared at Ross for a moment, trying to read his emotions, to see if his heart stung at all as well, before looking around the room. Her gaze was met with sympathetic stare after sympathetic stare, and Chandler didn't fail to notice she didn't make eye contact with him. "No, no, it's-it's great," she finally nodded, forcing a smile as she moved to hug Ross. "I'm so happy for you!"

Monica, Phoebe and Joey exchanged another glance before shrugging, deciding that if Rachel could be okay with it, so should they.

"Congratulations!" They all stepped forward at the same time. Chandler looked at Rachel for a moment, who was now looking down, before deciding to congratulate Ross as well.

"Ooh, ooh, we should all go out to celebrate!" Phoebe jumped up and down, as best she could for being so pregnant. When the others agreed, she quickly shuffled them out, leaving Chandler and Rachel alone. Phoebe gave Rachel a sympathetic smile before closing the door behind her. Chandler looked after them for a moment, wondering if Phoebe really did know what was going on between him and Rachel.

Chandler stared at Rachel for a moment from across the room. She was biting her bottom lip, holding back tears. Both of them had yet to make even a small movement.

"You're, uh, you're not completely over him, are you?" Chandler whispered, watching her. Rachel shrugged. "Can you tell me, honestly, that you are?" he was still whispering, trying to keep his voice steady. Rachel shook her head slowly, looking down to avoid seeing the hurt she knew that simple action had caused. "Then what the hell are we doing?" Chandler snapped. "What is this?" he motioned between them.

"I don't know, okay?" Rachel finally spoke. "I didn't know I wasn't over him," she defended herself. "But, seeing them, and knowing they're getting married, it's just," Rachel shook her head. "I didn't expect him to move on so fast!"

"But you can," Chandler shot back. "Or did you not mean what you almost said last night?"

"Chandler-"

"No, Rachel, what is this?"

"I don't know!" she finally yelled, just as frustrated with herself as he was. "I don't know…"

"Well, at least we're not really anything, right? At least we're just friends," Chandler angrily spit out.

"Right. We're just friends," Rachel laughed sarcastically. "There's nothing here," she dropped her hands. "Maybe you're right. Maybe I'm not over Ross at all. Maybe this is just a rebound thing, and you were right across the hall, so you were just the most convenient person for it to happen with!"

"Well, maybe you're just a rebound thing from Kathy, too," Chandler shot back.

"Yea, you just tell yourself that."

"Oh, I don't have to. You're telling me everything I need to know," Chandler shook his head, looking down. "I don't know why I ever thought this was anything less than a catastrophically bad idea. I don't know why I let myself get so attached to you," he laughed. "I mean, you're Rachel. Princess Rachel. You get everything you want because you're a spoiled brat, and you can just walk all over me, because I'm beneath you."

"The only reason you're not good enough for someone is because that's what you think of yourself," Rachel interjected. "And if you're not just the pot calling the kettle black with the spoiled thing. I'm sorry, aren't your parents both successful at what they do and not so down-on-their luck themselves? Poor, spoiled rich kid, your parents sent you to the best schools on the East Coast and gave you everything you could ask for, but we should pity you because they were divorced, and your dad's gay. Grow up, Chandler," Rachel spit out.

"Fuck you!"

"Yea, right back at you," Rachel nodded. "Good thing we're not together. That means we don't have to break up."

"Perfect," Chandler nodded, turning to leave before the fight went any farther. After slamming both her door and his own, he leaned back against it, closing his eyes as he forced himself to swallow the knot in his throat. He stood up, hesitating as he again reached for the doorknob. Thinking better of it, though, he shook his head, punching the door before walking away. He held his fist, immediately regretting the action, but glad that he had pain to focus on other than the searing pain in his heart.

How had he ever thought this was anything less than a catastrophically bad idea?

And, if it wasn't a break up, why the hell did he feel so broken?

~.~

I've been working on this chapter for weeks. Mainly because this fight wasn't supposed to happen for another couple of chapters, but when I wrote this, it just kinda happened. And, no matter what I do, I can't make it work the way I originally intended it to work, so I'm leaving it as is, and I'll just have to deal with it and re-work the next couple of chapters, I suppose. So, it might take a bit longer to post. Expect another part of I'll Be There For You before this one, probably.

I also feel like defending Rachel's feelings here, because I feel like people are going to attack me for her actions at Ross's engagement. I would have to say, from experience, that there is nothing like an ex moving on (even if you have as well) to make any old feelings resurface. Facebook messages from my ex after my engagement, I would have to say, pretty much confirm this isn't just me feeling this way, ha.

Anyway, thanks so much for the reviews for the last chapter! Keep it up :)