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Onward and such!

Chapter 9

It's all going terribly, terribly wrong.

The little 'tour' took longer than anyone expected. Not because of the size of the base, which was a given...but Tai found everything she came across entertaining. Everything!
Especially when they passed a huge pile of storm drains the mechs have yet to take to the shooting range.

Apparently procrastination was a problem everywhere in this universe.

When she saw the pipes, she squealed excitedly and scampered over to the huge pipes, dropped her bag on the concrete floor with a loud clunk and climbed up onto the top of the pile.
'I'm the Queen of this...general area!' She announced, pumping her fist in the air. Blurr looked like he was about to suffer some sort of break down as did Ratchet and even Optimus.

'Please Tatyana be careful...' Was Optimus begging? Sam scratched his head in confusion. He sounded a lot like a concerned father. But than again, he did sound and act like a father to everyone else so maybe it's just a commander thing.

'Don't worry O.P.' She said, waving off his concern. 'I've done this millions of times!'

Optimus, not believing it, turned to Blurr for confirmation. What he didn't expect was for him to nod.
'Andthescarypartisthatsheisn'tjoking...' He said, annoyance ringing clearly in his voice.

'Hey Tai...come on...we'll play in the pipes later.' Sam called up to her. 'We got to get this over with...my rents are having a barbecue for you...they want us back by seven!'
'They know we're here?' She called back in amazement. 'Hanging out with Alien Robots?'

'Yes...now get down..I'll explain on the way home!' Sam called back.

Ironhide grumbled in annoyance and stalked away back to his shooting range to get some much needed practice in. He did not have time to watch a human act like a spoiled sparkling.

Bumblebee stared after his guardian in annoyance.
'How rude!' The voice of Stephanie Tanner played through his radio. Even though he had his voice back, he still loved annoying the others with the radio.

Ironhide stopped for a second but than got over it and continued walking.

'That is totally awesome!' Tai leaned against the pipe that was in front of her. She didn't seem to care she was thirty feet up in the air. Or the fact that Ironhide just got up and left. Either that or she didn't notice.

'Why thank you.' Bumblebee clicked out in her direction. 'But maybe it is best if you get down.'

Tai rolled her eyes. 'But it's fun up here.'

'Tatyanahowmanytimeshaveweaskedyoutogetdownbeforeyouhurtyourself?' Blurr chastised his charge, he himself acting like a strict father.

'A lot...' She pouted, poking her lips out.

'Exactly...nowgetdownoryou'regoingtobeintrouble...' He than shook his large pointer finger at her. She raised her pierced eyebrow but shrugged.

'Whatever you say Blurr-a-rino.' She smirked.

She than gripped the upper area of the angled pipe and said in a bit of a slobbery, geeky voice.
'It's like a secret escape hatch!'

Than with a whoop of joy, threw herself in the pipe and slid down. 'OW!' She exclaimed, laughing hysterically as she landed on her back.

Blurr scooped her up in a panic, holding her upside down. Now she just looked annoyed.

'Dude...What are you doing?'

'Areyoualright? Anythingbroken? Anyrushingfluids?' Blurr kept asking every medical question he could possibly think of.

Ratchet looked appalled that someone else was doing his job.

'Blurr...' Tai said, looking deadpan.

'Sometimeyoucan'ttell...areyouwhoozy?' He held her upside down again.

'Blurr...' She murmured again, sounding really annoyed now.

'HowmanyfingersamIholdingup?' He held up all five of his fingers.

'I'm fine....' She whined out, her face getting redder and redder by the minute. Whether it was the blood rushing to her head or embarrassment, Sam couldn't tell.

'Answerthefingerquestion!' He snapped impatiently.

'Five!' She said, widening her eyes in annoyance.

'NO! Seesomethingisseriosulywrongwithher!' He turned to his comrades in a panic.

'I'mholding..one...two...three...' He seemed to realize that she was right and than he look very embarrassed.

'Ohwell..you'reokay..' He said sheepishly.

'Umm..Blurr, could you put me down...all my blood is rushing to my skull.' She said, kicking her legs.

He winced and placed her down next to Sam. She swayed a little bit, but luckily Sam held her up.
'Whoa headrush...' She said, shaking her head. Her face color was returning to the normal color and she glared up at her guardian in annoyance.

After a moment of silence, Optimus finally spoke. 'Alright...shall we continue?'

Somehow they had managed to convince Ratchet to let them show her the med bay. Sam knew that that took quite a lot of convincing that they wouldn't touch anything. Well, the ones who knew Ratchet knew that...Tai however, had to find out the hard way.

'My biggest fear has come true...I'm in a giant doctor's office.' She pretended to look horrified as she slammed her back into the door, her eyes wide.

Ratchet smirked. 'Don't worry, from what I've seen, you are perfectly healthy...unlike some people who shall remain nameless...' He glanced over at Jazz, who looked away pointedly. He looked down when he felt two paws on his leg.
Psyche had taken an instant liking to Ratchet apparently, she barked loudly and wagged her tail excitedly, poised in an excited position. His faceplates stretched into a wide grin and held out his hand, she hopped right into it and sat down, her tail still wagging.

'Aww she likes you...!' Tai said with a smile, climbing up onto Ratchet's large metal foot and climbed up his leg like a kitten wanting food.

Sam raised his eyebrow in astonishment....she had clearly been doing gymnastics in the past ten years. Even more so than when they were kids.
She managed to climb up onto his shoulder, apparently on her way up, she pinched a few sensitive wires, because Ratchet made a few noises that sounded like the human equivalent to a giggle.

'Oh sorry...didn't know you were ticklish.' She laughed, walking across his arm carefully and sitting next to her dog, who promptly laid herself in her owners lap. Tai swung her legs casually and whistled.
Ratchet, not knowing how he became a taxi, placed the girl and the dog on the table. Tai slid off of his hand, while Psyche almost tripped over her huge paws. The giant dog just yawned tiredly, her huge tongue lolling out before stretching and laying down on her side, letting out a loud snoring type noise.

'She is already tired?' Ratchet asked curiously.

'Yep...all that activity tired her out.' Tai said not looking at him as she examined a giant screen that looked like a huge heart monitor.
'Big, lazy mutt is what she is...Great Danes are giant couch potatoes.'

Not knowing that human term, Ratchet went on the internet to figure out just what that meant.
After a couple of minutes, he understood. 'Ahh yes...I see...' He said.

Sam meanwhile, was still on the ground and he couldn't see what was going on up there, he really wanted to know.

'Hey Bee...can you give me a boost?' He asked the camaro hopefully. Said Camaro nodded and lifted up his charge and set him on his shoulder.
'Better.' He said with a smile of thanks. Bee gave a thumbs up.

'Ohhh what is this?' She asked with interest, reaching for the tray of tools that was stacked neatly on top of the table.

'No touching!' Ratchet exclaimed, making everyone jump. Tai jumped about a foot off the surface she was standing on, and landed in a weird looking dance pose.
'Okay okay Jeez...keep your aft on!' She said, raising her hands in surrender.

'Ratchet, now be nice.' Optimus scolded the medical officer. 'She did not know.'

'It doesn't matter...you know I don't like anyone touching my instruments.' He had turned his back to Tai, who had a look of mischief on her face. While the CMO was talking to Prime, she placed her foot on the large wrench and made a face at his turned head.
He turned back around and she gave him a look of innocence. Shaking his head, he turned back to Prime and continued talking to him.
She than did something that really made it hard for the others to keep a straight face, even Optimus found it hard to pay attention to what Ratchet was saying.

She skipped up onto the wrench and started doing a hilarious tap dance on it, before hopping off and standing up straight before Ratchet turned back sharply and gave her a look.

'Yes! Yes, I understand.' Optimus said quickly, not wanting Tai to get onto Ratchet's bad side even more.

'Alright than...now if you all don't mind...kindly shoo.' He waved his hand. 'Except Psyche, she can stay...'

Tai giggled before bending down to give Psyche a big hug and walked to the edge of the table.

'Hey Blurr...' She called to her guardian. He looked up and before he could ask what she wanted, she leapt off the table. Everyone yelled in alarm but Blurr caught her swiftly and placed her on his shoulder.

Sam placed his hand on his chest. 'Jeez Tai...are you trying to make me have a heart attack?!'
Bumblebee gave him a look of alarm. Sam patted the side of his head. 'It was a figure of speech Bee...I'm fine.'

Tai grinned sheepishly. 'Sorry, guess I could've warned you.' She shrugged. 'Blurr and I do that all the time.'

'Okay...everyone...scoot, shoo, skedaddle!' Ratchet grabbed a wrench. 'Out!'

They all hightailed it out of there before the wrenches started flying.

'Wow...don't piss him off.' Tai said with wide eyes.

'Yes...unfortunately, not everyone listens to him.' Optimus sighed, feeling embarrassed.

'Really?' She said, looking surprised. 'I'm up for 'sticking it to the man' as much as the next chick but even I know to listen to a Doctor...especially one that large.'

'Try telling that to Sideswipe and Sunstreaker.' Jazz chuckled.

'Who?' Sam and Tai asked at the same time.

'I'll tell you who...' Ratchet called out from behind the closed med bay doors. 'The spawn of Unicron! That's who!'

Tai and Sam looked at each other with raised eyebrows. 'Wow he has good hearing...' Tai whispered to Sam, who nodded.
'Spawn of Unicron?' Sam said slowly, trying to make sure he heard correctly.

'They honestly can't be that horrible...can they?' Tai looked up at Optimus.

Optimus let out a very human sounding sigh and shook his head. 'No...but they do have a attitude problem...especially Sunstreaker.'

'Hold on, hold on...before you go anything farther...who is Unicron?' Sam asked in confusion.

But before Optimus could answer, Tai piped up. 'The evil version of Primus...Unicron created the decepticons, at least that's what Blurr told me...'

Sam nodded, his face showing understanding. 'So Unicron is Satan pretty much?'
She nodded with a funny look on her face. 'Pretty much, yeah...'

'Smart..' Jazz murmured to Bumblebee, who nodded. Blurr couldn't help but look a bit smug. He had taught her all there is to know about Cybertron and Cybertronians...the rest she figured out on her own.

She was always way too smart for age. Way to smart even for a human.

Tai walked around a little more and spotted a sign, which looked like it was welded into the large metal door.

Keep out...or be blown into Space dust. Unless I say it's okay. Sincerely, Your Weapons specialist, Ironhide.

'Hey...' She said, getting everyone's attention. 'This may be a wild guess...but I'm guessing this is where Ironass goes to blow something up...?'

Optimus nodded. 'That would be correct...I wonder what gave it away.' Everyone could clearly hear the sarcasm from the Autobot commanders' voice.
'Hot damn! I gotta check this out!' But before she could get near the place, Blurr was right in front of her.

'NoTatyana...Ihavetoputmyfootdownthistime!' He tried to sound firm, but his fast paced speech made that almost impossible.
Tai crossed her arms and looked up at him with an annoyed expression.

'Icannotallowyoutogointhereandgethorriblyinjured!'

Sam glanced at Bumblebee. 'Ironhide wouldn't really hurt any of us would he?'
'No! He cares very deeply for all life forms...it's just he really get's into shooting and blowing up pretend 'Cons.' Bumblebee said, patting his charge on the back with the tips of his metal fingers.

'Okay...that's a slight relief...' Sam said, blowing out a stream of air.

They turned back to Blurr and Tai, who seemed to be engaged in yet another little argument.

It was uncanny how much they acted like brother and sister. But he guessed being around each other so long, it didn't really matter if you were human or Autobot. Also, it was hilarious to watch a thirty foot robot being outdone by a 5'2' human girl.

'I'm no longer listening!' Tai sing songed, plugging her ears and singing a very off key tune.
'La la la la!'

'Iknowyoucanhearmemissy!' Blurr was talking very loudly now, the tone was so loud it was hurting Sam's ears. He quickly plugged them before his hearing was damaged.

'Icangoonallday!'

'Scottish Terrier!' She suddenly shouted. Blurr let out a very girly sounding shriek and dove behind the large couch.

The Autobots and Sam both raised an eyebrow (or Optic ridge) at the display.

'Yeah little dogs terrify him ever since the 'incident'...I know it doesn't really make sense since all dogs are small compared to these guys, but he doesn't mind big dogs, like Psyche.'

She checked on her guardian and saw his shaking frame.

'Just kidding...'She laughed, before running into the shooting range, a loud explosion echoing just seconds later.
Sam gasped.

And that's all for this chapter!
Muhahaha!

Please don't hurt me! :ducks behind desk:
The next chapter will be when I bring the humans we all know and love in!

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