Phase Three

Chapter 13: Every Time She Sneezes I Believe It's Love

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Thanks for the reviews! I know I've said it, like, ten million times, but I really appreciate the reviews on this fic, especially considered how few people are still in this fandom, and the fact that Randler goes so against the canon couples of the show. So, thanks again :)

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Ross stormed down the stairs from Monica and Rachel's, heading back to Central Perk to grab his forgotten coffee. He winced as he grabbed at his hand. Why doesn't anyone tell you that when you hit someone in the face, it hurts your hand just as badly as it hurts their face?

"Forget that?" Gunther asked him, nodding towards the coffee cup on the counter, and Ross just nodded, gritting his teeth in pain. "What happened to you?"

"Oh, this?" Ross held up his already bruised and swelling hand, wincing at even moving it. "Nothing," he squeaked, through gritted teeth.

"Ross!" Rachel yelled as she stormed through the door. "What the hell was that? Are you, like, 16? You just going around punching people now?!"

"No, not just people, but-"

"But, what, Ross? Why is it your place to get pissed off at Chandler? Did you see the three people in the room when you walked in? Were we fighting?" she paused, "No. We were talking. Which is probably what we should do. Or what you should have done with Chandler instead of hit him!"

"I'm sorry, he slept with my sister at my wedding, and he's been dating my ex-girlfriend behind my back for god knows how long! Really, what better reason is there to hit someone?" Ross yelled back, receiving a few odd looks from the other customers in Central Perk. Rachel moved a few steps away from them and closer to the couch, Ross following.

"Okay, first of all, Monica can take care of herself. You know that better than anyone," Rachel started. "Second of all…What right do you have to me, Ross? We broke up two years ago, you just got married….I'm not yours! You have no claim over me! You cheated on me. We tried and tried and all we do is fight," Rachel finally took a deep breath. "And I don't see what problem you should have with me dating Chandler. You would think that if you had a problem with me dating someone, it would be with dating some random person. I mean, don't you like Chandler?" Rachel waited for an answer. "That wasn't rhetorical…."

"Y-yes," Ross answered slowly.

"Is he a bad person?"

"Well, no, but-"

"But, what, Ross?"

"He's my best friend, Rachel…"

"That is my point, Ross!" Rachel threw her hands in the air. "You would think you would want me to date someone who you like and can trust and who makes me happy!"

"Yea, but it's Chandler," Ross interrupted her, but Rachel didn't wait for him to finish.

"You know what, Ross?" Rachel cut him off. "If you're going to be immature like this, fine. Screw you and the goddamn horse you rode in on," she turned to leave in a huff, but Ross reached out for her arm.

"Rach, wait," he grabbed her arm, but then pulled his hand back. "Oh my, oww!" he grimaced, holding his hand to his chest.

"You should really get some ice for that," Rachel whispered, still ready to leave.

"Rach, I-I'm sorry," Ross finally said quietly. "I-I, uh, I got served divorce papers today," he forced a laugh. "It's actually why I'm not at work right now. I've been married less than a week, and, already," he trailed off, shaking his head. "Let's just say, today hasn't been my best day."

"Oh," Rachel replied. "Well, I'm sorry about that, but you didn't have to take it out on Chandler's face. Although I think that you hitting him did help to ease his conscience," Rachel smiled, grabbing Gunther as he walked by. "Can he get a bag of ice?"

"So, what, exactly, happened with all of that?" Ross asked, sitting down on the couch, Rachel sitting beside him. "How did all of this happen?"

"Chandler and I?" Rachel laughed. "Well, see, that's the funny part. It happened right after he broke up with Kathy. We went to a bar and both got just completely wasted and woke up together. But then we spent a good month or so trying not to be together, and you know why?" Rachel asked, and Ross shook his head. "Because Chandler felt like he was betraying you. He cared more about your feelings than his own."

"I didn't know that…"

"Well, you didn't ask," Rachel replied, still a bit angry. "But then I ended things before you guys left for London, pretty much because Chandler went all, well, Chandler and freaked out about stuff, so that's how that ended up happening with Monica," Rachel continued. "But, anyway, he showed up at the airport today, and," Rachel shook her head, "I love him. I spent a week thinking about nothing but him, and, I'm sorry, no, that's a lie, I'm not even sorry if you're not okay with that. Because you need to be okay with that," Rachel paused. "Just because we have a past doesn't mean you have some claim over me forever. And I love him."

Ross just nodded, now holding the ice pack to his hand. "I'll try really hard to be okay with that," he finally replied. "It's just hard seeing you with someone else, even after all of this time. Especially one of my friends…."

"I know," Rachel nodded. "It was hard for me to see you getting married to Emily. But you know what? I care about you, and I want you to be happy."

"I do want you to be happy, Rach. I-I want what's best for you. And if he is it…I'm okay with that. I'm not sure if I can say I'm happy for both of you yet, but I will be. I promise."

"Thank you, Ross," Rachel smiled, grabbing onto his good hand. "Now, what do you say we get you to the hospital and see if you actually broke anything in there? There's, like, fifty bones in your hand, so I'd say there's a pretty good chance you did," she motioned to his other hand.

"Well, actually, there are twenty-seven bones in the hand," Ross corrected, but then stopped, thinking about his throbbing hand. "Yea, it doesn't feel so good, so we probably should go get it looked at…."

~.~

"Hey, Phoebs," Chandler greeted Phoebe as he walked into her room.

"Where is everyone else?" Phoebe asked, watching behind him after no one else entered with him.

"Nice to see you, too," Chandler smiled at her. "Joey was having some really bad stomach and back pains in the cab, so he is actually being checked into a room right now, and Monica went with him," Chandler shrugged. "I think she's avoiding me."

"Oh! Did you talk to her? Oh, what happened with Rachel?!"

"Things are good with Rachel," he grinned. "And I'm pretty sure things will be okay with Monica, too."

"Aw, yay! Oh, but what happened to your eye?" she asked, noticing the bruising around it. "Did Monica hit you?"

"Ha! No, Ross did. He somehow found out about me and Rachel, and then Joey spilled the beans about me and Monica, so," he shrugged. "Kinda feel like I deserved it."

"Rachel!" Phoebe exclaimed as she walked through the door.

"I came here with Ross to get his hand looked at, and we ran into Joey and Monica in emergency room!" Rachel laughed. "Mon said you were up here. Are you okay so far? Is it as bad as they say?" she asked, walking over to Phoebe's bed and running a hand through her hair.

"Oh, it's worse. You won't be able to take it," Phoebe nodded insistently.

"Huh," Rachel replied, not sure what to do with that, before turning to Chandler. "Hey," she grinned, staring into his eyes.

"Hey," he replied, returning her grin.

"Hey!" Phoebe added, receiving two confused looks. "Oh, this was a two player game," she motioned between them. "Okay, I get it now."

~.~

"Hey," Chandler's eyes popped open as he sat up, Ross's voice startling him. He was sitting in the waiting room, Monica and Rachel both in Phoebe's room, and Joey waiting for what turned out to be kidney stones to pass.

"Hey," Chandler replied to Ross, who sat down next to him. "You're not gonna hit me again, are you?" Chandler asked, motioning to the cast on Ross's hand.

"Not for the next four to six weeks, at least," Ross laughed, and Chandler laughed as well. "Look, I'm sorry. And, I know you don't need it, in any way shape or form, but," he paused. "You have my blessing. With Rachel. I know you don't need it to be with her, but-"

"Thanks, man," Chandler smiled, patting him on the shoulder. "That means a lot. And I'm sorry we went behind your back-"

"Don't worry about it. It's all over."

"So, we're okay, then?" Chandler asked, and Ross nodded.

"We're okay. And I am sorry I hit you," Ross laughed.

"We've known each other for, what ten years? It was bound to happen eventually. I'm just glad it was you hitting me, not Monica," Chandler laughed.

"I know, right? She is so freakishly strong!" Ross replied, causing Chandler to laugh harder. "Hey, you think we should go check on Joey?"

"Yea, probably," Chandler said as he stood up, laughing suddenly.

"What's so funny?"

"Oh, just us," Chandler replied, still laughing. "You and your broken hand, me and my black eye, Joey and his kidney stones, Phoebe in labor with her brother's babies," he trailed off, still laughing. "We make quite the group, don't we?"

~.~

"What a long day," Rachel yawned, sprawling out on Chandler's bed next to him.

"No kidding," Chandler agreed, wrapping his arms across her as he pulled her closer.

"I think babies should actually be delivered by storks. It would be so much easier," Rachel continued. "When I have kids, they are so gonna be delivered by storks…"

"Is that so?" Chandler laughed, and Rachel just nodded. "God, I'm glad today is over. And that everything turned out alright," he paused. "I can't help but think that we could have made this a lot easier by just talking to Ross about this months ago…"

"I won't say 'I told you so,' but only because I'm okay with this, because everything turned out okay," she craned her neck so she could kiss him.

"Only okay?"

"Well, maybe a little better than okay," she sighed with content, settling into his arms. "So, how does it feel to be a namesake to someone? You know, to actually have another human being be named after you?"

"Kinda cool," Chandler nodded. "Although, after the third baby turned out to be a girl, I think they could have come up with a different name. I mean, Chandler is a pretty masculine name…"

"Eh, works on you," Rachel teased, causing Chandler to push her away. "Oh, you know I'm kidding," she giggled, moving back towards him. "I mean, you are clearly the picture of the word 'masculine,' what, with your black eye," she touched the edge of his eye, causing him to wince, "and your I-haven't-shaved-in-two-days stubble," she ran her hand over his face before running her fingertips across his lips, smiling when he kissed them. "God, I love you," she grinned, leaning in to kiss him before laying her head down, suddenly very aware of how many hours she had actually been awake. She hadn't slept at all on her flight home from Greece, and that had been well over 24 hours ago.

Chandler pulled her down so that she was lying completely on top of him, head resting on his chest. He kissed her temple, sighing with content as he closed his eyes as well. "I love you, too."

~.~

I'm pretty sure this fic is the most of Ross I've ever written. Ever. I find him so hard to write…He's a complete mystery to me, ha.

Also, just btw, I am totally a fan of Chandler as a girl's name. I liked it as a girl's name before they went and used it as one for little baby girl Chandler on the show. I'm pretty much a fan of boys names for girls in general, though….says the girl named Jamie, who has two parents with the same first name (no joke!).

Anyway, review, and I shall continue wrapping this up soon :) One more part to go! Can you feel the excitement?! Can you, can you?! :)