Audrey
The horrible, terrible things that Yeerk made me do. It gives me nightmares to even dwell upon it. All of the humans made slaves, all of the Controllers' bodies disposed of along with incompetent Yeerks. I never want to remember that element of my life. But you need to know. You need to know what will happen. Or maybe you already know, and now it is too late. Every three days, I would fall unto the floor in one of the cages, curl up into a ball, and wait for the Hork-Bajir to come. Some days, a familiar human would be in the cage with me, telling me to never give up hope. And some days, he was not. I almost lost sight of what it meant to be human. Three days spent locked inside my mind, another locked in a physical cage. The pattern repeated until it all became meaningless, and I lost who I was.
One day, amidst the hell that was now my life, I gleaned some information. Askel 15702, the Yeerk inside my head, was to be promoted. His new position was far too important for him to control a lowly teenage girl as myself. Some glimmer of hope came to my then fragile mind, and the slug monitoring my every thought chuckled darkly.
Do not worry, my little Audrey, he mocked. You shall soon receive another.
I realized it then. I was to be given to a younger, less-experienced alien.
Very good, human, the slug sneered condescendingly.
I will remember that day for the rest of my life, for not only did that vile and evil creature leave my head, but I also met Arysis 452.
* * *
Arysis 452
When I first came into existence, I did not open my eyes and see. I did not open my mouth and taste. But I could smell. I could smell the fumes of the Yeerk Pool, along with a metallic tint I could not at first comprehend. I could sense my brothers, my sisters, all swimming freely alongside me. And yet, we were not free. We were slaves, prisoners to our limited senses. Of course, we had no knowledge of what we missed in those first days, but as our intelligence grew, we all began to long for those heightened senses of which our elders spoke so highly. To have a body, to move in the air, to see bright splashes of color—this was something I dearly wished to do.
The three Yeerks who sacrificed themselves to create me—along with my siblings—died in a crude Pool, far away from our home world. We could never return there. The Andalites, our greatest foe, hovered over the planet, preventing any of our kind from departing, poised to punish those who dared to return. I was taught very young my hatred of the Andalite people.
One day flowed into the next without any sense of its passing. All I know is that it was some time later when I came to one of my siblings to find him at the computer controls of our stolen Andalite ship, accessing the memory drives.
What do you do, brother? I questioned in that strange thought-speech the elders had taught us. Only later did I learn it came from the Andalites themselves.
I study the Andalites, little sister, he replied distractedly.
And why do you study them, Esplin 9466?
They are interesting, for one, Esplin answered, turning his full attention towards me. But this knowledge will also give us an advantage in battle. I wish to have a permanent host.
And you believe this knowledge of the enemy with endear yourself to the elders?
I am almost certain it shall, came my brother's thought-speech. He seemed very determined, but I could detect a hint of loneliness.
Well, I began, pushing through the Pool towards him, perhaps we may study our great foe together?
I could sense the warmth of his pleasure. Yes, Arysis 452. Perhaps we may.
My brother's efforts were indeed rewarded. From palp to palp, the elders sent a message to him. They had retrieved a new host, which Esplin 9466 would be the first to infest. It was a high honor, when we had so few available bodies for training and infesting. Perhaps this fact would now change, and I would finally be able to experience the world in an array of new and wondrous senses. Yet I must wait. I was female, young—with no experience. I would not be among the first to infest this new species, this species who called themselves Hork-Bajir.
He had done well for himself, my brother. Already the title of sub-visser seventeen had been bestowed upon him. The fool Seerow had been living upon this planet, but no more. He and his family, all eliminated. Only his young daughter remained alive…if she had survived the attack others of my kind had not.
Through the influence of my two brothers, Esplin 9466 the primary and his secondary twin, I was moved to the makeshift Pool upon the planet in order to be placed within my first host. I almost died upon that day. The free Hork-Bajir, led by the Andalite filth Aldrea-Iskillion-Falan, attacked our base. My brothers, my sisters. All dead, starved for nutrients or crushed beneath the cruel talons of the Hork-Bajir. Yet I survived. Why should they perish, and yet I remain? Those twisted, barbaric creatures. Why would I have any desire to control one of them? To see through those eyes, eyes no doubt blinded by madness and murderous rage? I could not even begin to fathom it.
I vowed it then. Never would I submit myself to the emotions, the tendencies of those horrifying creatures. I spent my entire existence swimming, suspended in the Yeerk Pool lit by the glow of the life-sustaining Kandrona rays. One would think I would have had ample time to reflect upon the horrors of that day, yet the events still haunted my thoughts. Visions of what I had experienced virtually through accessing the memory drives of our altered ships reappeared, time and time again. The screams of my siblings, helpless to the attacks of the Hork-Bajir, still echo within the depths of my mind to this day.
Days, weeks, months, years. My species have no conception of time, suspended in the warm light cast from the portable Kandrona. Yet I know there came a moment when I was alone. Esplin 9466 and his twin had departed—either fled, or occupied with new weight and responsibility. One could say I experienced some aspect of loneliness. I had none to converse with, naught to occupy my time. My kind believed me futile, weak. Some called for my destruction. What use was I, a Yeerk who would not occupy a host? Yet there were hardly enough hosts to supply all of my kind, and so the Council of Thirteen found no merit in my extermination.
There was a time when this loneliness would have consumed me, when the cage of my limited senses made existence all the more difficult to bear. Life held no meaning, no purpose. But there would come a day when all this would change. I was moved to another Pool—no longer in orbit, but upon a new planet. A planet called Earth. Why a species would desire their home world to be the namesake of dirt was beyond my knowledge. It was there, upon this strange new world, where I came into contact with Aftran 942.
Greetings, Arysis 452, an unfamiliar Yeerk spoke to me, connecting a palp to mine in order to communicate. Unlike our foes, physical contact is necessary for us to communicate through thought-speech, or to communicate at all via these inadequate bodies.
Indeed, friend, was my cautious reply. I do not believe I have the pleasure of your acquaintance, I continued smoothly. At this moment, I knew not this strange Yeerk's rank or position. One wrong word could mean instant death if I were conversing with a superior, no matter the new protocol dictated by the Council of Thirteen.
Indeed, you do not. The Yeerk hesitated, as if carefully weighing her options. Even through the limited senses allowed this native body, I could still discern this creature's gender. I am known as Aftran 942, and I have heard a very intriguing story concerning you, Arysis.
And what have you heard, Aftran 942? I questioned boldly, caution no longer a necessity. This Yeerk held no rank—not even that of a low sub-visser. Then again, nor did I.
I hear you have refused to acquire a host. Is this true, Yeerk? Have you refused your birthright, the birthright of the Empire?
My birthright? I questioned, slightly taken aback. No, it is a choice. And I have no desire to hold control over the sad, twisted creatures who removed my siblings from this world.
Pity echoed within her thoughts, although it was probable she had no realization of the fact I noticed this. Thought-speech is a strange form of communication—numerous emotions passed through the connection without the knowledge or consent of the sender. I begin to see, now. The Hork-Bajir are young, foolish. They were not designed to understand the subtleties of war.
I severed the connection for a moment as hot anger seared throughout my body. Was I to forgive the species responsible for the death of so many simply because they lacked the intelligence to comprehend what they did? Emotions once again under firm control, I blindly reached forward, extending my palp to hers. Were any of us truly designed for an understanding of death and destruction? For some reason, I was suddenly weary.
There is a way to bring this war to an end, the Yeerk responded swiftly, as if she had been waiting for this moment.
How do you suggest a method for it to cease? The Empire's lust for conquest and complete control holds no limits.
There was silence for a long moment, as if she knew I spoke only to glean more information. I almost withdrew contact before she thought-spoke again. You may not be aware of this fact, but a resistance exists upon this planet.
I have no desire to hear of how a species is willing to destroy the lives of others in order to be free.
Aftran who broke the connection this time, yet I knew she had yet to finish. I waited, thoughts churning through my mind. Her hesitation was understandable, given her subsequent words. How are we any different?