Chapter 28 Build Me Up Just To Let Me Down

"Uhh." Brenda set her hand on her belly, "I can't even look at any more ice cream. Thanks for letting me stay here Dylan." She leaned back slouching on the couch.

"No problem. Thanks for choosing me to stay with." Dylan looked over at her leaning his shoulder against hers as he sat back on the couch.

"Honestly?" Brenda looked over at him, "You were the first and last person I wanted to stay with." Brenda gave him a small smile.

"Oh ouch…why?" Dylan gave her a smile back.

"No…I mean not in a mean way, its just makes it weird I guess."

"It doesn't have to be…we were friends before."

Brenda laughed slightly, "Dylan…come on we have always been more than friends…always."

Dylan smiled and exhaled, "True."

Brenda stretched slightly, "What a crappy day…except rehearsal was good."

"Yeah? So when is the big day?"

"3 weeks."

"I'll be there…I wouldn't miss one of your plays."

Brenda slowly glanced his direction, "Thanks." she said softly. Brenda wanted to change the subject, the stares, the smiles, the feeling of being next to him was nice but awkward. They had so much history together, so much mutual respect and understanding, it was hard to be there just as platonic friends. "When do you have your next session?"

"Tomorrow…hey you should come with me." Dylan reached for her hand.

"Oh Dylan…I don't know." Brenda looked down at his hand.

Dylan squeezed her hand slightly, "Please…I think it would help. I think it would be good for us."

Brenda looked up at him and swallowed hard, "Ok." Brenda smiled.

Dylan smiled back. He reached up and moved her hair behind her ear as Brenda leaned into it. "Dylan." Brenda whispered.

"I know." Dylan said back looking down.

"David and Valerie are back together." Brenda said changing the subject again.

"What happened with David Bren?"

Brenda thought about telling him everything but changed her mind, it wasn't his business.

"It just didn't work out I guess…I guess when it comes down to it, we both weren't ready to move on. The thing I regret is that it seems we ruined our friendship in the process."

"It will be ok, just give it some time. You can get it back."

Brenda nodded slowly, "Yeah, I hope so."

The two sat there for a couple minutes looking in their lap. They were both thinking of each other. How comfortable it was being there with each other but how different it was also. Dylan sighed loudly causing Brenda to look over at him.

"Do you think we could ever get what we had back?" Dylan slowly looked over at her.

Brenda looked over at him and tilted her head sideways. She shrugged slowly, "I don't know."

Dylan without hesitation wrapped his arm around her shoulder. He pulled her into his chest and set his chin on the top of her head. "I'm sorry Bren. I blame myself for everything that has ever gone wrong with us. All you did was be there for me and love me and I guess when it comes down to it, I don't know." Dylan exhaled.

Brenda leaned out from his chest, staying close to him, "What?"

Dylan looked into her eyes, he had that longing look, the one he had shown her many times. She knew it well. His dark drown eyes stared through her. Brenda placed her fingers gently on his face. She gave him a soft smile and leaned in kissing him gently. She was surprised Dylan didn't try to go further. He just leaned out keeping his eyes closed resting his forehead against hers, "I'm sorry." he whispered saying it again.

"I know…me too." she whispered back finally leaning away from him. "We should get some sleep."

Dylan looked at her and nodded after a few seconds, "Goodnight Bren."

"Goodnight."

Dylan moved his hand down the back of her head pulling it into him as he kissed her forehead. He slowly got up walking toward the bedroom. He looked at her one last time before heading in.

Brenda took a deep breath as she stared down. What was she going to do? She knew she shouldn't even be there but there was nowhere else she wanted to be at the same time. Brenda swallowed hard turning and looking into the bedroom. She found herself getting up and standing in the doorway. She found Dylan sitting on the edge of the bed looking down.

"Dylan?" Brenda said softly.

Dylan looked over his shoulder at her. He didn't answer back or say anything and either did she. She walked over and stood in front of him she ran her fingers through his hair as he looked up at her. She slowly bent down kissing him. She continued to kiss him gently and slowly. She guided him back as she was over him, kissing him feeling his arms around her. Dylan wasn't sure what came over her but he didn't care, he had wanted her for so long. He brought his hand up to her face, moving it behind her neck as their kiss got more intense yet stayed unhurried and tender. Brenda felt his hands explore her, giving her chills and goose bumps. Dylan moved her to her back, he continued to kiss her. Her lips felt soft and loving and he realized more than before how much he had really truly missed her. He leaned up from her kiss and looked down at her lovingly.

"Make love to me Dylan." Brenda whispered tenderly.

Dylan nodded slowly kissing her; there was no uncertainty in her voice. There was no hesitation in his touch. There wasn't anywhere else they would have wanted to be at that moment. The didn't bother asking why or what it meant, they didn't even bother thinking about what was next, and for once in Brenda's life she didn't care. She wanted to connect with him again, like they always had. Emotionally it was already there but the physical part, which had always come natural to them, was what was missing. As they made love passionately and slowly, Dylan brought his lips to her ear. His soft lips rubbed against it, his hot breath exhaling into it.

"I love you Bren." He whispered softly.

Brenda closed her eyes and took it in. She exhaled as well and thought about how much she loved him. She brought her hand to the back of his head and ran his hair through her fingers like she used to. She moved her face so she was looking at him.

"I love you too." She whispered seriously, she wanted him to know she did and how much. She didn't want it to be in the middle of passionate love making, she wanted him to look into her eyes and to know she loved him. And he did.

**

Kelly sat up in bed and took a deep breath. She couldn't sleep at all. She had been tossing and turning for 30 minutes already and she officially stopped trying. She swung her legs to the side of her bed bringing her weight to them as she stood up. Kelly grabbed her robe and swung it over her and walked slowly out into the kitchen. The night had been agony for her, she didn't want to be rude so she stuck around with Gina and Brandon, ate dinner with them and watched the movie. Brandon wasn't all over Gina by any means; he would never do that whether the feelings were there or not. Kelly saw how they looked at each other and she was scared they were falling for each other. She would have never thought Gina would have been a good match with Brandon but they were actually cute together. It also didn't help that Kelly wasn't all that fond of Gina to begin with. Kelly opened the refrigerator, her eyes wandered around the shelves for something to eat. She looked up keeping the door open as she heard the bathroom door close. She slowly closed the refrigerator door and walked glancing down the hallway. She walked back into the kitchen and rested her lower back against the kitchen counter. What was she doing? Her and Matt were happy, right? Was she only feeling this way because Brandon was with someone? The toilet flushed and just as she looked up Brandon came around the corner. Pushing back his hair, he stopped and looked at her. Kelly gave him a small smile.

"Can't sleep?" Kelly said quietly.

Brandon continues to walk toward her as he smirked, "No…you?"

"Not at all." Kelly nervously played with her hands. "Want something to drink? Water or something?"

Brandon nodded, "Sure."

Kelly poured both of them a glass of water and she looked at him as she handed it over.

"We haven't really gotten to talk much since you have been back." Kelly said before bringing the glass of water to her lips.

"I know." Brandon nodded taking a deep breath, "I have to admit, I wasn't too keen on staying here, just felt weird you know?"

"Yeah…it's weird for me too. I'm glad you're happy though…you are happy right?"

"Yeah…it's been fun. It's new but Gina is sweet, pretty and we get along really well."

Kelly swallowed hard and forced a smile. "It's not easy seeing you together." Kelly admitted.

Brandon looked down before meeting her stare again, "I know…it wasn't easy seeing you with Matt either." Brandon took a deep breath, "I actually came back to see you, I knew you were seeing someone…Brenda had told me but I guess I just wanted to see if you were okay."

Gina stood in the hall way peaking her head around the wall. She had wondered what was taking Brandon so long he had left to go to the bathroom a while ago. She stayed quiet and eased dropped on them.

"Well I am okay, but seeing you has definitely made me think about my life, Matt…you."

Brandon stayed quiet as he looked at her. She was still so beautiful; here she was no makeup, hair pulled back messily, standing in her robe in the dimmed over lighting of the kitchen. Her eyes sparkled when she looked at him and he had almost forgotten how blue they were.

"Kel." Brandon said softly.

"What happened to us Brandon? I mean what really happened with us? We were so happy, we were going to get married and live our life together. We loved each other and now…"

"We're apart?" Brandon finished her sentence.

Kelly nodded as tears came to her eyes, "Yeah." She breathed out.

Brandon slowly shrugged, "I don't know…maybe it wasn't meant to be or maybe it is it was just the wrong time…I don't know…I ask myself the same question all the time."

Kelly began to cry a bit as the tears came free from her eyes, "I wish I had married you."

Brandon moved in quickly wrapping his arms around her embracing her, comforting her. He didn't say anything he just held her closing his eyes and feeling her next to him again.

Gina took a deep breath and shook her head. She sadly looked down feeling the tears surface in her eyes as well. She debated interrupting the touching scene in the kitchen but decided not to barge in. She took her index finger and wiped the tear off her face. She walked over to the bathroom closing the door some what loudly causing Brandon and Kelly to break from their embrace. Brandon took a deep breath and looked in the direction of the bathroom.

"You should go back to bed." Kelly said softly.

Brandon nodded slowly, "Yeah." He said biting the inside of his lip. "Goodnight."

"Night Brandon." Kelly said looking down away from his stare.

Brandon smiled and rubbed the back of his fingers down her cheek. "See ya Kel."

"Bye." Kelly murmured as she turned to watch Brandon walk down the hallway and into Gina's room.

**

Dylan groaned pulling Brenda into him tightly, his arms wrapping firmly around her nude body. A huge smile spread across his face as he thought about the night before. The feeling of her arms around him, the noises she made when he kissed her neck and navel and the curve of her body, the feeling of kissing her, making love to her. Now it was so vivid and clear.

"Stop smiling with your goofy grin." Brenda said with a smile and her eyes closed.

Dylan laughed out lightly, "How did you know I was grinning?"

Brenda turned to face him, still lying close to him, still in his arms, "I know you."

"Yes…you do. Maybe better than I know myself. I can't help but smile."

Brenda smiled back, "I know…me too."

"What time is rehearsal?" Dylan asked moving even closer to her bringing her lips to his.

Brenda moaned out smiling mid kiss, "3 o'clock, why?"

"Well…my session is at noon so that means we have a couple hours until we have to get out of this bed." Brenda giggled as Dylan pulled her on top of him, kissing her deeply. "I don't want anything to come between is this time Bren…no girls, your father, drugs…nothing."

Brenda nodded and smiled. She could not believe she was lying in bed with Dylan. They hadn't been together in months and hadn't made love since Thanksgiving. Here it was almost February and so much had happened in those short couple of months it was hard to believe it was even real.

**

Kelly poured herself a cup of coffee, adding some sugar and cream. She stirred it gently as thoughts of the night before popped into her head. When Dylan and Brenda had first came back to Beverly Hills she was confused with what she was thinking. She had gotten so weird about seeing the two of them together again she wasn't sure why she was having those feelings. She was nervous she still had feelings for Dylan but after time had passed she realized she was wrong...very wrong. Still something was still missing from her life and after seeing Brandon and having the talk they had the night before. She realized what it was, she was still in love with him. Kelly looked toward the hallway to find Gina making her way into the kitchen.

"Morning Gina." Kelly said nicely bringing the coffee cup to her lips.

Gina looked at her; she narrowed her eyes on her and didn't mutter a word.

"You okay?" Kelly noticed the dirty look.

Gina sighed, "No Kelly I am not okay. Why do you have to set this claim on the guys you have been involved with? What gives you the right to swoop in and ruin things because someone else has them? You and Brandon broke up and for once I met a guy I really like that likes me back. Who's honest and sweet and handsome and gets me."

"Gina I don't know what you're talking about." Kelly rolled her eyes turning to grab her toast from the toaster.

Gina brought her hand up placing it on Kelly's shoulder turning to face her.

"Hey." Kelly pulled away.

"You know exactly what I am talking about. You see something you want that someone else has and you go after it, you don't care about hurting those around you." Gina looked at her, she kept her glare but Kelly could see the tears starting to form.

"Gina…you barely know me, I don't know what you're talking about?" Kelly played dumb not really knowing exactly what she had heard the night before.

Gina looked down sadly, "Yes you do, you did it with Dylan in high school, you wanted what Brenda had. You couldn't stand the fact that a guy like Dylan would be interested in Brenda for more than to get in her pants because that's what you were used to. As soon as they got serious you went in and wanted him for yourself. Now you were happy with Matt, Brandon comes home and bam you want him back. You hate the fact he likes me because you don't like me and whatever is missing in your life with Matt it making you want Brandon back." Gina moved closer to her, stuck her finger in her face, "But we aren't in high school, and I am not going to give up that easily, you had your chance and you blew it."

Kelly was taken back by her forwardness, by her information; Gina had been talking to someone. She swallowed hard and just stared at her not really knowing what to say to her.

"Tell me you will leave him alone." Gina's tone changed from anger to almost pleading.

Kelly looked down sadly, she thought about saying no cause that's how much she wanted him back, "I'll leave him alone." Kelly said softly.

The two girls just glared at each other as Brandon came out to join them.

Kelly nervously looked away from Gina, "I made coffee; I am going to get ready for work." Kelly said quickly holding back the tears in her own eyes. She moved toward the bedrooms but turned around to look at them.

"Good morning sexy." Gina said with a smile wrapping her arms around Brandon's neck.

"Morning." Brandon said leaning in and kissing her gently.

Kelly looked down and sighed. She picked her heart off the ground and went into her bedroom where she could ball her eyes out, out of sight.

**

Dylan and Brenda walked up from the parking lot up to Promises. They had spent the morning making love, talking and reminiscing. Dylan was being overly nice to her but she thought it was sweet. He reached out and grabbed her hand tightly. He squeezed it and looked over to her and gave her a smile. Brenda was nervous about the session, she really didn't want to go but thought she owed Dylan and she owed their relationship the chance to get some stuff out on the table. Brenda didn't think they had a hard time talking to each other but the part that made her nervous was what if there was just too much to work out. Brenda looked around as they made their way into the treatment center. Being a girl she naturally looked around to see if there was any sign of Stacey. She didn't know why, curiosity probably.

"I doubt she is around." Dylan said glancing over in Brenda's direction.

"Who?" Brenda played dumb.

Dylan nodded with a smirk, "Okay…guess I don't know you as well as I thought."

Brenda smiled and slowly met his stare, "Ha ha…I was just curious."

"Uh huh. Susan's office is up the stairs." Dylan led her still holding her hand firmly.

Dylan knocked gently hearing Susan call out to come in. He gave Brenda a small smile and led her into the room.

"Hey Dylan." Susan said stopping and noticing Brenda.

"Susan…this is…"

"Brenda." Susan smiled holding out her hand. "I am glad you came."

Brenda shyly nodded, as Susan directed them to sit down. "Well last time you were here Dylan we were discussing Baja, Brenda's parents but you left abruptly. Now I know things may be a bit different today because Brenda is here but is it okay to discuss that further or should we discuss something else?" Susan looked back and forth between them.

Dylan looked at Brenda and waited for her to respond, Dylan was there to talk and work out some of the issues holding them down but he only wanted to talk about stuff that Brenda felt comfortable talking about.

"That's fine." Brenda said quietly.

"Don't be nervous Brenda…we are here for Dylan and we can stop or discuss whatever you feel comfortable discussing. Okay?"

"Okay." Brenda said giving Susan a small smile.

"So…Dylan said your parents weren't too fond of him but you guys went to Baja anyway."

Brenda took a deep breath, "Yeah…my dad…well he is controlling. If it wasn't guys he had opinions about it was my brother and I getting A's, sports, the usual. My father isn't a bad guy, he actually is a very good father it just scared him."

"What did?"

"Dylan and I, we were young and he knew how I felt about him. I was in love with him. I was more in love with him that I was probably fully prepared to handle. He saw the way we were together, he knew we were sexually active he knew I would do anything for him. I mean now that I am older I can understand it. I mean I was 16 years old. Baja was the last straw, he said no. I went anyway."

"So he was mad I take it." Susan knew the story up to that part anyway.

"Yeah…mad was an understatement. But Dylan had always told me to follow my heart and to stand up to them. That they couldn't keep treating me like a kid forever."

Dylan looked down, this was where he had his revelation the last time and he was hoping Brenda would forgive him for giving up on her.

"Dylan said you did exactly that." Susan made a note on Dylan's chart.

"I did, I left home. I was over it and if he wasn't going to accept Dylan in my life then he wasn't going to be in mine, but something happened." Brenda looked down and bit her lip gently. "My parents decided to send me to Paris to keep me away from Dylan, get us all to cool off and I think they had hoped I would grow up a little while I was gone."

"Did you?"

Brenda smiled and nodded, "Yeah but it wasn't worth it."

"Dylan? You have been pretty quiet, you want to add anything?" Susan brought her attention to him.

Dylan nodded, "I knew Jim wasn't going to back off calmly, he had threatened to freeze my accounts, Jim was my trustee, and he was prepared to charge me with statutory rape, because Brenda was only 17 and she was living with me. If I didn't..."

Brenda's head shot over and looked at Dylan, "What?"

"I didn't tell you because at the time I thought it was best for you to experience Paris and to try to get back on your parents good graces."

Brenda eyes filled with tears, "You knew they were going to offer me that trip didn't you? When you went to talk to my father he threatened you." Brenda raised her voice.

"I did it for you." Dylan tilted his head saying sorry with his eyes.

"You did it so I would leave, move out of your house because I was cramping your style, move me and all the drama with my family out so you could get yourself back. You motives were strictly selfish and you know that." Brenda was very upset. Upset at her father for threatening him and mad because she knew what had happened on that trip, mad at the fact Dylan and her father had set up the plan behind her back.

Dylan looked down, he knew Brenda was mad at him and part of the stuff she was saying was true.

"Why are you so upset Brenda?" Susan was surprised at what had unfolded in front of her.

Brenda looked at her as tears fell from her eyes, "I am upset because that was the worst trip ever. I had fun and I did grow up but when I got back and found out about Dylan and Kelly my whole life crashed around me." Brenda looked at Dylan, "You broke my heart, you didn't just break us up, you broke me. It took me a long time to trust people again and I had always regretted going, and you were in on it."

"Brenda I am sorry…it was a long time ago, I was a kid."

"But it's the same thing over and over again. You build me up just to break me down. You gave up on me when I would have left my family for you. Time passes and even though it's in different context it's the same. Our daughter died and what did you do, you left me for 3 days, went on a drug binge and even when you came back you were gone. I cried myself to sleep every night alone, no one to hold me, no one to take care of me. You left again emotionally, physically because you wanted to give up." Brenda was almost hysterical. She stood up and looked at Susan, "I am sorry, I don't want to be here." Brenda wiped her face and moved toward the door, opening it and slamming it behind her.

Dylan looked down and shook his head, "You should go after her." Susan said sadly.

"Yeah." Dylan breathed out.

Sooooo you likey? So close, we were so close to getting Brenda and Dylan back weren't we? Are you kidding me I have more plans for their reunion so nope not yet. Anyway I made a video to go with my story if you guys want to check it out. Pm me and I can send the link on. Please review!