Chapter 29 Crumbling Walls

Dylan rushed out of the treatment building, looking around for Brenda. She couldn't go too far, how was she going to get home from Malibu? He looked on the beach, around the building and she wasn't anywhere. He took a deep breath and walked down to his car. He stopped and exhaled when he saw her. Leaning against it arms crossed looking down. Even from afar Dylan could tell she was deep in thought. He saw her wipe her face as he walked closer to her.

"Bren?" Dylan said softly as he joined her leaning against his car.

Brenda didn't look at him, she stared at the pavement. She stayed quiet thinking about everything they had been through.

"Say something please." Dylan scooted his butt closer to her. He waited for a response from her but didn't get one. She didn't say anything at all.

"I." Dylan exhaled.

"Why didn't you tell me about my father's threats? Why did you agree with him? I realize now why you were so for me going. You wanted me gone; you wanted to take those 6 weeks to be alone. Everything was too much." Brenda wiped her face again, "You gave up on me before I even got on that bus." Brenda sobbed. "After I put myself out for you."

Dylan looked down and shook his head, "I know…I gave up…I know." Dylan rubbed his hand across his face feeling guilty.

brenda sighed loudly, "Let's go." Brenda shook her head in tears and opened the door to the Porsche.

Dylan looked at her, the sadness in her eyes and face was breaking his heart. He searched in his mind for something to make it up to her, to make it better. All he wanted was to be where they were last night and this morning. He had her, she was right there in his hand literally and now she was gone again. Dylan slowly got in the car and drove back to the hotel.

Brenda looked out the passenger side window as they drove down Pacific Highway. The flashback started.

"I'm being realistic here…so what if your father's motives are bogus and heavy handed, so what if he is trying to set our agenda again for us, we are talking about a chance to see Paris. Ok? I've been there, you haven't…and I think that you are making a big mistake if you let this opportunity to see that part of the world slip by just because your father pushes you too hard and doesn't know when to let go, do you know what I am saying?"

"Why are things always so complicated?"

"I don't know…seems pretty simple to me really. You just get on a plane and have the time of your life."

"What about us?"

"Us? Well…if our relationship can't survive 6 weeks without seeing each other. Maybe your father is right, we don't belong together."

Brenda rested her elbow on the side of the door. She brought her hand to her face and started to cry again. Dylan looked over at her and tilted his head.

All these feelings were coming back to her, painful ones she had pushed far down. It was so long ago that all this took place and so much had happened since but the pain was just as fresh now. It had never gone away really.

Dylan eyes stayed on the road as he thought about that time.

"Dylan."

"Jim."

"I understand my daughter is going to be on a plane tomorrow."

Dylan nodded his head, "You got what you wanted."

"Well I wouldn't go that far. With Brenda one learns to distinguish between what you want and what you get."

Dylan laughed playfully, "You can say that again."

"In any event…I think having her go to Paris might be the best thing for all of us."

"I think it's the best thing for Brenda…that's why I went along with it and I didn't tell her about the little chat in your office today."

"I appreciate that."

Dylan started for the front door but turned around and faced Jim, "In the future…I would appreciate it, regardless of what happens with me and Brenda or you and Brenda…If you want something from me, you don't have to put a loaded gun to my head. Just ask me."

"Ok." Jim nodded.

"See ya around."

"Take care of yourself son."

Dylan looked over at Brenda. She wouldn't look at him and had her attention out the window. Dylan could only see the side of her face but he knew she was crying. The car ride seemed like forever when Dylan finally pulled into the hotel. As he pulled up to the valet he looked over at Brenda who was wiping her face. "Bren?" Dylan said softly.

Brenda opened up the car door and got out walking slowly into the lobby. Dylan followed behind and met her at the elevator. He kept glancing at her, hoping he would get a look, any eye contact what so ever but she never did. The elevator ride was quick and as they walked down the hallway and came to the door of the room, Dylan unlocked it and opened it holding it for her. Brenda walked in taking her sweater off and angrily throwing it to the couch.

"What? Just say it, stop with the silent treatment and get it out." Dylan almost yelled it.

Brenda turned to look at him, she glared in his eyes, "I deserve better than you."

"You just realized this now." Dylan threw up his hands, it bothered him she wouldn't just tell him what she was thinking, or yell at him. He wanted a reaction from her and besides the outburst he wasn't getting one.

Dylan tilted his head as he looked at her, "Brenda…I am sorry."

"You're always sorry, don't be sorry just stop." Brenda yelled, "I feel like I am always accepting apologies from you. For cheating, for being an asshole, for drinking and for the drugs…well I am sorry ok, I am sorry because I don't forgive you."

"Bren…I understand why your upset, I get it, but you are going to throw what we have away because of something that happened 6 years ago. You're over reacting."

Brenda breathed heavily through her nose, "I am throwing us away?"

"What do you want from me Brenda? Yes I didn't tell you about Paris or your father's motives, so what? We needed a much needed break and you know it. I thought it was best for you, not Jim, not me, you. Something you could experience for yourself." Dylan walked closer to her and talked calmer, "What are you going to do hate me forever? You know you can't do that."

Brenda looked up at him, "I want to hate you. With all the bullshit you have put me through, there is nothing more I want than to hate you."

Dylan stepped even closer to her, he had a way of being sexy and intense at the same time and Brenda couldn't stand it. "What do you want to do Bren? We have being together in the palm of our hands and I want to know what you want to do."

Brenda kept her stare she shook her head and exhaled, he drove her crazy. He was trying to get to her, he was trying to be irresistible and intense and serious all at the same time and normally it would have worked but this time she was over it. "Do you know what I want Dylan? For you to leave me alone." Brenda broke down, "It's taking everything I have right now not to hit you." Brenda said angrily trying to catch her breath from crying.

Dylan held out his hands to the side, "Do it then Bren…get it over with. Everything that I have put you through, just get it out." Dylan yelled the last part.

Brenda's lips quivered as she looked at him, for everything that they had been through, for everything he had put her through. She loved the stupid bastard, she couldn't help it and that made her the angriest. She couldn't get rid of him. He had her since the day they met and it pissed her off. She couldn't believe it but she did it…she raised her hand and slapped him across his face as hard as she could.

Dylan showing little emotion stood there and stared down at her, "Better?" he said smart ass.

"No." Brenda yelled, Dylan moved to hold her, Brenda tried to push him away but Dylan grabbed her. Brenda fought back, she hit him a couple times in the chest and tried to squirm away. Dylan picked her up as she tried to free herself but couldn't. Brenda was fighting back and she found herself against the wall. Dylan leaned his body against hers pining her to the wall, he took both his hands cupping her face as she stopped squirming. He leaned in and kissed her hard. Brenda exhaled into his mouth and kissed him back. The kiss was rushed, eager and passionate. She was so mad at him not only because of the Paris thing but for everything, realizing he had won again she pushed him away. Without even looking into his eyes she moved from in front of him, grabbing her purse and leaving the hotel. Dylan's reaction was to go after her but all he did was reach for the door as it closed. He set his hand on the door, trying to tell himself not to follow her, to let her calm down. Dylan turned around and shook his head. He brought both hands through his hair and cursed to himself as he walked away.

**

Brenda still had an hour and half before rehearsal; she drove to where her girlfriends were Donna's store. By the time she got there she had calmed down a little. As she walked from her car her cell went off, she grabbed it looking down at it and it was the hotel, she knew now what the number was. She hit ignore sending it straight to voice mail and continued on her way. As she rounded the corner she walked into Brandon.

"Sorry Bren, you should look up when you're walking." Brandon joked.

Brenda looked at her brother and didn't smile; she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him.

"What's wrong Bren?" Brandon saw she how upset she was.

"Everything." Sighed Brenda as she leaned out from him.

"Well come on, join Gina and I, you want some coffee or anything?"

"Yeah." Brenda nodded and walked seeing Gina at a nearby table.

"Hey Brenda. Long time no see, where have you been hiding?"

Brenda took a deep breath and sighed again, "Dylan's I guess."

"Oh." Gina lifted her eyebrow and leaned closer.

Brenda just looked at her, "I guess that means not good?" Gina said innocently.

Brandon set down a cup of coffee in front of Brenda and sat next to Gina, "So? What's going on, is it David?"

"He's another one…but no its Dylan. Did you know our dad, threatened to charge Dylan with Statutory rape if he didn't talk me into going to Paris?"

Brandon's eyes widened as he shook his head, "No I had no idea."

"I went to a therapy session with Dylan today and all that stuff came out. Am I stupid for being upset? I mean Brandon tell me the truth."

"Upset at dad or Dylan?"

"Well both but I guess more Dylan. I mean dad had his reasons and well its dad but Dylan was in on shipping me away and then he cheated on me with Kelly."

Brandon looked at her with sympathy, "Well no…I guess you're not wrong for being upset."

Brenda started to cry, "I don't have anywhere to stay, I should have never come back here. It's been drama after drama since I came back, I don't belong here."

Brandon felt bad for Brenda, with everything he knew about the past, it looked like Brenda was hitting her own bottom. All the walls she had put up were crumbling around her and he saw it. As Brenda got older, after her and Dylan broke up she began to almost became withdrawn, keeping her feelings more to herself. When Dylan left her for Kelly back in high school, it hit Brenda really hard, the lack of loyalty, the betrayal, the loneness. It killed her spirit. Brandon and Brenda had slowly drifted apart and she kept pretty much to herself. This was the old Brenda, the one that when asked what was wrong she would respond with "everything". When realistically not everything was wrong but this time maybe it was true. He hadn't seen Brenda break down like this since he had been back and he hated seeing her like this.

"You can stay at David's Bren." Brandon rested his hand on her shoulder.

"No." she said sternly wiping her tears, "We aren't even talking and besides he told me to leave."

"Bren…stay at the beach apartment, I mean its not permanent but I know the girls would want you there." Gina said sweetly.

"It's crowded." Brenda shook her head.

"No its not, Brandon can stay at David's and you can sleep with me." Gina gave her a small smile.

Brenda wiped her nose, "You don't think Kelly and Donna would mind? My play has its opening in 3 weeks but I could help with bills and stuff and in the mean time I will look for an apartment or something." Brenda shrugged.

"I know they wont mind. Come on…lets go tell them." Gina leaned in pecking Brandon and wrapping her arm around Brenda leading her into the store.

Brandon smiled, it was nice to have a girlfriend that got along so well with his sister. He was thankful she had been there, no matter how there you are for someone, sometimes girls just have a better understanding of each other.

**

Brenda walked into rehearsal, the day had been long and draining and it was only 10 till 3. She held on to her play book making her way over to the stage. She said hello to a few of the people she had introduced herself too the day before. Brenda sat in one of the seats. Kiss Me Kate was a musical. Brenda would feel better if it was a tragedy, at least that was were her mood was. It was a play within a play of Shakespeare's Taming Of The Shrew. She opened up her playbook thinking that maybe this rehearsal would keep her mind off her personal life.

"Brenda Walsh." she heard.

Brenda smiled recognizing the British accent anywhere. She looked up and there he was, Roy Randolph. Brenda got up and walked toward him, "Roy? What are you doing here?" Brenda gave him a hug.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that question? Last time I saw you a few years back you were living it up in jolly old England."

Brenda smiled and looked down before meeting his gaze, "I moved back in November."

"Well…well…imagine my surprise when my assistant director, Eric, gave me the list of my new possible leading ladies that were coming in for call backs. I saw your name on there and told him to call you right away, there was no need for call backs." Roy smiled.

Brenda looked confused, "That explains that…You're directing this play?"

Roy nodded and lifted his eyebrows, "Yes, I was in New York and the bloody theatre caught fire, opening night was pushed back so I sent Eric over to start without me." Roy smiled his flirty smile at her that Brenda had learned not to look too much into. Roy was a flirt and she had known him for a while now and he had always been nothing but respectful to her. She owed her acting career and education on him.

"I'm glad you are here." Roy smiled as he clapped his hand together to get everyone's attention.

Brenda sat down and couldn't help but smile and shake her head. Now she was excited for this play, with Roy on board it was going to be great.

"Everyone…I am Roy Randolph, I will be your director in this performance of Kiss Me Kate. Everyone this is Brenda Walsh, an old friend and my leading lady." Roy moved around the front of the stage, "Kiss her feet, she's a real actress." Roy winked at her.

Brenda smirked, who knew this day would maybe end on a high note?

*evil grins* BIG PLANS I have big plans I tell you. I would love to hear your guesses. Click review friends : )