Mulch is probably the most difficult character for a 'how to annoy list' as he's generally pretty laid back. But, all the same, I can't just leave him out. This was co-written by cherry chocolate pie, because he rocks!!!
And to all the people thinking, and more importantly saying, that I can't write humor: I KNOW!!! I believe I have already said that I am not, by nature, a comedy writer; I am in fact a fantasy, horror and drama writer. Read my Inheritance cycle fics if you want proof. I like to try different styles. As much as I like being flamed, please pay attention to what I put in the authors notes, I don't write them for the fun of it you know.
10 Ways To Annoy Mulch Diggums
1, Try to make him sing 'hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work I go'.
2, Try to hook him up with snow-white.
3, Tell him if he keeps letting his skin dry out he'll end up looking like a goblin.
4, Tie him to a chair and hold a piece of gold in front of him.
5, Tell him to loose some weight or he'll start getting stuck in the tunnels.
6, Lock him in a room with a goblin.
7, Chase him with a lit match (or flame thrower, if you like being OTT like me).
8, Remind him of all the years he has spent in prison…
9, …And that the only reason he isn't there now is a certain mudboy.
10, Tell him that (insert name of thief from cartoon/anime/book/film) is better than him.