Daphne's POV

Justin had recounted the events he could remember from last night and this morning, and, now, he was telling me about the nightmare he'd had earlier.

He shuddered. "It felt so real, Daph, like the Sap was really licking my cock."

"Do you think that that part of the dream is related to yesterday (like a memory) or does it represent what happened at the Sap's party?"

He shook his head and sighed. "I don't know. That was a year ago. You'd think I'd be past it, but maybe I'm not."

"Justin! You were drugged and nearly gang raped…"

Brian jumped up from where he was lying on the couch. "WHAT??"

Uh oh.

Justin buried his head in his hands.

"You were nearly gang raped at that party? Why the fuck didn't you tell me?"

I stood up and put my hand on his chest. "Okay, slow down, Tex. Justin. Don't worry. Brian's not really angry, well, not at you. He's just doing the protective boyfriend thing. You know that, right?"

Brian, realizing what he'd done, looked apologetic.

Justin lifted his head up, glancing at Brian and, then, at me. He replied softly, "Yeah, I know."

I breathed a sigh of relief. "Brian and I are going to have a little chat."

Pointing at Brian, I said, "You. Outside."

When we were in the hall, I crossed my arms and snapped, "What the hell were you thinking? Yelling like that!"

Brian looked at the floor. "I know. I know. Fuck. I just…when you said, well, what happened…I lost it."

My anger replaced with sympathy, I patted his arm.

"Why? Why didn't he tell me?"

Brian's eyes were filled with confusion.

I retorted sharply, "Your reaction should be answer enough!"

He looked down.

I sighed and continued more softly, "Look. You told him that he shouldn't work at Babylon. That he shouldn't go to that party. That he should just accept another loan from you. So how the hell was he going to tell you that the unthinkable almost happened because he didn't listen? He really blamed himself, and he thought that you'd blame him, too. He felt stupid for going and (in his mind) allowing himself to be drugged, weak for having to fight so hard to get free, and filthy for putting himself in a position where he could be pawed and nearly raped by disgusting men. You already knew he'd let the Sap blow him for a better spot, and you weren't exactly kind and understanding about that. He took that stupid job so that he could be independent and in control. Ultimately, the opposite happened. He felt like he'd worked so hard only to fail, and he knows how you view failure and weakness."

Brian rubbed his face roughly. "Fuck!" He sighed. "Okay. Can you give us a little time? Maybe go to Starbucks and get some Komodo Dragon. That's Justin's favorite. I'll try to remove the foot I put in my mouth, apparently, many, many times."

"Sure. But if it looks like it's getting sexual, call or text me. I've seen enough of your cock to last a lifetime."

Brian scoffed, "Now that's just crazy!"

I crossed my arms and tried to glare at him.

He just laughed. "Okay. Okay. I'll warn you if we start getting it on."

I went back in, grabbed my purse, smiled at Justin, and left.

Brian's POV

Justin's voice small, a little desperate, he asked, "Where'd Daph go?"

"Oh. Just to get something she forgot earlier. She'll be back soon."

He breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh. Ok."

It killed me that being alone with me made him nervous. Fuck! Were we back to the time just after the bashing? Would he flinch if I touched him? I took a deep breath and walked over to where Justin was (now) sitting on the couch. I kneeled on the floor in front of him. I leaned toward him, touching my forehead to his, and waited to see how he would react. When he sat there calmly, his breathing even, I nudged his nose with mine and kissed him gently on the lips. Then I sat back.

"Look. When you started working at Babylon, I didn't want to tell you what to do, but I did want to give you what I thought was a better option. I realize now (sigh) that I didn't give you the best option, one that would help you achieve what you really wanted."

"Do you actually know what that was?"

"Control over your life. Independence."

Justin looked shocked. Thank you, Daphne!

"My miscalculation is even more clear now after our time apart. After you left, I know Mikey talked shit to you because I had been paying for your tuition and because you had been living with me. Of course, I didn't tell him that I kept paying your tuition even after. Didn't want to fuel the fire. It never occurred to me that Mikey or anyone else would view you as my boy toy. I mean, I've helped nearly every one of our friends financially. How was this different? And you are, and have always been, your own man, always doing your own thing."

Justin swallowed hard. "Unfortunately, yes."

"Don't do that. Making your own choices is not a bad thing. Sometimes, you'll be wrong, but, if you only ever listen to other people, you'll end up totally miserable. Isn't that what you realized when you left Ian? That you'd been listening to all our friends and Mother Taylor too much? That you'd stopped trusting your own instincts? Do you regret coming back to me?"

Justin squeezed my hand. "No. Of course not."

I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding. "Good. Talking to Daphne also made me realize that I was kind of an ass when you and I spoke about the job itself. The things I said were…"

Justin sighed. "You don't have to do this. We both know that sharing isn't your strong suit."

We both smiled.

"I want to do this. I need to try."

Justin gave me an intense look and said, "Okay" softly.

"I was…"

I closed my eyes tight for a moment, remembering what the rape counselor had said: "I can understand why you wouldn't want to share your experiences with your partner. Doing so would make you feel vulnerable, and you're probably afraid of losing your partner's respect. But don't you see that that is exactly how your partner feels?"

I then looked at Justin again and admitted, "I was jealous. I didn't want every gay man in Pittsburgh watching you dance half-naked on the bar."

Justin smiled. "How Puritanical of you."

I couldn't help but smile back. "Ridiculous, I know. Why do you think I didn't just tell you that? Well, other than the fact that I didn't want you to know exactly how much I cared. That I felt…fuck!...vulnerable…"

Justin looked astonished.

"…You were (and are) my…my Kryptonite. But you also make me stronger somehow (sigh) In addition to being jealous, I was worried, frustrated, and angry. You were, are, worth so much more than the hundred or so you made a night. I couldn't understand why you were so hellbent on paying your own tuition. I didn't even think about what I would have done in your place. I was so busy being afraid that you'd lose your innocence."

Justin laughed. "What, more than I already had at that point?"

I bumped him with my shoulder.

"No, not like that. I mean, I was afraid that you'd lose the light in your eyes. No matter how many three-ways we'd had by then, you'd never lost that light."

I put my head in my hands and, then, looked up at Justin nervously. "That's it. I'm done. I have officially become a lesbian."

Justin didn't laugh. He just stared at me. Then he leaned his forehead against mine. I put my hand on the back of his neck, gently running my thumb along his spine.

After a few minutes, I cleared my throat and blinked a few times.

Then I said, "Even though you were a go-go dancer, no one had the right to touch you without your permission. No one had the right to drug you and try to force you to participate in an orgy. Hell, you should be able to walk around naked all day and all night, wiggling your tight little ass, without being touched inappropriately."

Justin burst out laughing. "Wiggling my tight little ass?"

"You wiggle your tight little ass constantly. Admit it."

He crossed his arms and harrumphed. "I admit nothing."

I smiled. "Whatever. That's why we have hands."

"My wiggling ass is why we have hands?"

"Twat. Yes, your wiggling ass is why we have hands. But not exclusively for grabbing it or fucking it or kissing it. You have the right to be hotter than hell, walking amongst the trolls, exuding sex, without being manhandled, and everyone else has the right to jerk off (or whatever girls do) with their aforementioned hands, if your hotness has driven them crazy."

"Well, I have been known to set off waves of mass masturbation when I walk down the street."

I put my tongue in my cheek. "Really?"

Justin nodded his head seriously and, then, started giggling.

"On top of that…let that one slide, would you?...Fuck! I can't stop talking in sexual innuendoes."

Justin was laughing so hard, he cried.

I cleared my throat. "Anyhow…anyone can be subdued. With drugs and especially with more than one person attacking, anyone can be made vulnerable. No one is immune. I'm actually very proud of you."

"For going to a fuck party and being surprised when the smelly middle-aged men tried to rape me?"

Trying to control my anger at his self-deprecation, I replied firmly, "No. You were drugged and several men tried to hold you down and fuck you, but you fought back and managed to get the hell out of there. You always do that."

In a voice full of self-mockery, he asked, "What?"

"Survive terrible experiences and somehow emerge stronger."

He responded in almost a whisper, "I don't feel very strong."

I pulled Justin into my arms and rubbed his back.

"At your weakest, you're the strongest person I know."