Penny stood under the pounding water until it ran cold. She had gone straight to the shower from the guys' apartment, moving on autopilot, not allowing herself to think. She had stayed there as the aches in her muscles slowly eased, before climbing into her sweats, and, ignoring the daylight glinting through the drapes, lay down on the bed.

Only then did she permit herself to entertain the images that wanted to replay themselves seemingly over and over.

Sheldon on the bed, crying. Sheldon in her arms. Sheldon's face, filled with lust, huge blue eyes boring into hers.

And then, interspersed; Leonard's face, filled with pleasure at seeing her again after three long months.

Her pillow felt damp, and she realised she had been crying.

Way to go, girl. You've done some stupid shit before, but this…this is a whole new level of dumb.

Oh God. How the fuck was she going to tell Leonard?

There was a hammering on her door. Her stomach plummeted a thousand feet and simultaneously threw bile into her throat. It was an angry knock. Leonard had apparently put two and two together.

Well, that's one problem solved.

She felt bad at her relief, but picturing the look on his face when he found out had been making her feel sick.

She lay for a moment, wanting to postpone the inevitable confrontation, but she heard the door open anyway. A spark of irritation flew through her; couldn't he tell she didn't want to talk right now? It was immediately quashed by a swell of guilt, and she screwed her eyes shut, trying to drive the images of Sheldon out of her head.

She really had no right to be angry with Leonard right now.

She kept her eyes closed as she heard him appear in the doorway behind her. He was breathing hard, but didn't speak. Instead, he came over and sat on the bed next to her.

He sat for a long moment, then cleared his throat; she felt her body tense.

"You slept with Sheldon." He paused. "You slept with my best friend, while I was waiting for you here."

It was a statement, not a question, spoken softly. She could hear the break in his voice, and her heart broke a little in return. She hadn't felt so confused about a guy since...well. Ever, really. Even when Kurt was being an ass, she still knew she loved him. That had been the problem.

But inside, she wondered which guy she was really confused about. Sure, she had been pissed at Leonard; but cheating just wasn't her thing. God knows, she had put up with much worse behaviour from guys in the past, and none of it had led to anything like this. She usually just crashed with a bottle of hard liquor.

An insistent voice in her head was whispering that it wasn't actually cheating, since nothing had really happened between her and Leonard yet. But an emotional betrayal? Yeah, probably. Hell, definitely.

And she had a horrible, horrible feeling that Leonard's actions had just been her excuse. Was it an excuse she had been waiting for, she wondered?

What had happened with Sheldon hadn't been planned, but contrary to popular belief, she didn't sleep with just anyone. She had to be attracted to the guy. Case in point: Howard Wolowitz.

She had been so busy stressing over Leonard, she hadn't realised that under all the drama she was developing…something…for his best friend.

The whole three months they had been away, she had thought of Leonard. It was who she was supposed to be thinking of. Any other thoughts had been immediately suppressed, because it was Leonard who wanted her, Leonard who had been lusting after her for two years. And she did miss him…but in the same way she missed her family. The passion wasn't there, no matter how much she willed it to be.

The passion with Sheldon had been undeniable.

She felt more tears trickle down her face. Her head was completely messed up. She needed perspective. But first, she needed to apologise to Leonard.

He was still waiting for her response. She sat up and turned to face him, and was momentarily stunned to see how awful he looked. The look on his face implied he was thinking the same of her. She certainly felt blotchy.

"I'm so sorry, Leonard. I really am. It shouldn't have happened, and I don't even know how it did…" It came out whispered, her voice croaky.

He looked suddenly like he was deflating, and she wondered if he had been hoping for a denial.

He cleared his throat. "Ok. Alright. But, what does that mean, for…erm. For us?"

She looked at him, confused. Did he still want her? She had assumed that this would be too much for him to deal with, that he wouldn't want to date her anymore. She realised she had been happy with the assumption; she wouldn't have to make any decisions. Now his question forced her to confront her own feelings on the matter. And to hurt him again. A few hours ago, and she would have settled for a relationship with him. And that's what it would have been; settling. For second best. Now, she might have another option, one she never could have imagined before. Now, even if it wasn't an option – even if she couldn't be with Sheldon - she still couldn't go back.

"I think it means…maybe we shouldn't be together. Don't you think?"

He suddenly looked angry. "Just, tell me why. Why him? What the hell has he got that I haven't? He's not even interested in you! He only used you to get back at me!"

That made her angry. She didn't know if the implied insult had been intended, but it was certainly picked up on. "What? Why wouldn't he be interested in me? And what do you mean he 'used' me? How the hell would you know?"

She only realised afterwards that her angry reaction betrayed the fact that she cared what Sheldon thought of her.

Leonard obviously picked up on the fact, and narrowed his eyes at her. "He told me, Penny! He told me exactly what you said. While you were…fucking him. He wanted me to know."

She froze, blanched. "What did he say?" she asked faintly.

Leonard looked down, embarrassed, but then met her eyes determinedly. "He said you begged him to fuck you." His expression revealed his distaste and he searched her face for a response, but it was blank. She felt stunned. Sheldon had told him that?

"Did you, Penny?"

She shut her eyes briefly, unable to look at him.

"Do you really want me to answer that, Leonard?"

He sat, frozen, for a minute before standing and walking to the door. Before he left he turned to look at her again, his face inscrutable. But his final word, uttered with a quiet absence of emotion, conveyed his feelings perfectly.

"Slut."

A/N: I'm not sure about this one. Felt a bit...confused. But then so was Penny :o) Can other people imagine Leonard being this bitchy or is it just me?