Justin's POV

I entered the loft and tossed my bag across the room. It landed in the kitchen with a loud thud. I threw myself on the couch and buried my head in my hands. Suddenly, my cell phone rang. I retrieved it from my pocket with one hand. My head was still buried in the other.

Gruffly, I answered, "Hello."

Brian snarked, but with amusement in his voice, "Is that any way to greet your Master, Angel?"

I laughed softly. I was still in awe of the effect Brian had on me. Just hearing his voice caused me to relax, to smile. I replied apologetically, "I'm sorry, Master. I…I didn't even look before I picked up."

Brian's POV

I wondered what was wrong. Justin sounded tired or, rather, like he'd suffered some disappointment.

I asked, in as nonchalant a voice as I could manage, "How was school?"

Justin's POV

I didn't answer. I didn't want to tell Brian that I wouldn't be going to school, not for a while, because the moment I did, it would become real. I just sighed and closed my eyes tightly, trying hard to push down my anger, at Ethan, at PIFA's administrators.

Brian's POV

I was becoming anxious. This was the first day in quite a while that we'd been separated for any substantial length of time. Even when we hadn't been together, I hadn't worried because I'd left him with Daphne. I attempted to keep my anxiety out of my voice (Whatever was bothering Justin would only be made worse by any negativity on my part). So in a bright but soft voice, I urged, "Tell me, Angel."

Justin's POV

Despite my attempts to suppress my anger, I was still so angry and frustrated that I felt like crying. When would it end? Would the rape take over every aspect of my life? I sighed again, but then hesitantly answered Brian's question. "I…I was kicked out of school."

Brian's POV

My eyes shot open. I was angry and surprised, of course, but I kept my voice even as I inquired, "What reason did they give you?"

In a voice that barely rose above a whisper, he replied, "Ethan…"

I clenched my jaw and started tapping my pen on my desk. Softly, I said, "I'm going to need a little more, Angel."

Justin's POV

I explained bitterly, "PIFA's administrators had concerns about my returning to school. They worried that my attending this semester would serve as a 'disruptive influence' because Ethan is about to stand trial for raping me, a fellow PIFA student. They were also concerned about my ability to keep up with my studies during such an 'emotionally grueling' time. They suggested that I put all my energy into getting past my traumatic experience."

I gritted my teeth as I uttered the last sentence. What the fuck did they think I'd been doing? I suddenly had the urge to smash something. I clenched my fists for a moment, but then sighed and continued, "But whatever I do, I am not welcome there. Not until after the trial."

Brian's POV

While Justin was speaking, I had 'tapped' my pen so hard on my desk that the tip actually broke. Black ink was leaking from the gaping hole I'd inadvertently made and pooling up around the broken tip. But I didn't care. I didn't move an inch to clean it up, something I would normally have jumped to do, anal retentive freak that I am.

This was not good. As is, Justin still struggled with feelings of helplessness. And who could blame him? I'd helped him to take back ownership of his body. But he still had nightmares. And now this. He needed to get more control back. I took a deep breath and declared evenly, "So…we'll talk to Mel. See what your options are. There has to be a way to fight this."

Justin's POV

I sighed.

I said despondently, "Maybe we shouldn't bother."

What the hell was the point? If I spent days or weeks fighting their decision, I'd only fall further behind. Even if I did return to school this semester, I might need to count it as a loss, that is, if I couldn't catch up. In some ways, I wouldn't be able to anyway. Every day I missed class, I missed valuable time practicing techniques my professors demonstrated. It might be better simply to wait until spring and re-enroll in this semester's classes. Of course I might not be able to do that. The first segments of some two-part courses were only offered in the fall.

Brian's POV

I dropped my pen in the pool of ink and clenched my fist. But somehow I managed to keep the rage out of my voice.

I inquired softly, "Why is that, Angel?"

Justin's POV

I thought about the implications of what PIFA's administrators had said. When it got out that a PIFA student, a male student, had accused Ethan of raping him, most would probably laugh. Few men would admit that it's even possible to rape a man. On top of that, people who knew Ethan probably wouldn't believe me. It could get ugly. In fact, it most assuredly would.

I replied slowly, "Well…I was angry, I am angry about this, but maybe they're right. Ethan had a lot of friends. I can't even imagine what they'll say about me. Plus, no one wants to admit that they're vulnerable to crime. Most men, even if they didn't know Ethan, would probably think I was lying. It would be hard to face so much hatred at PIFA while also dealing with a trial. I've already missed so much school. I might not be able to catch up."

Brian's POV

I pinched the bridge of my nose. Justin was right of course. Now that the rape had been made public, Justin was sure to face a great deal of anger and prejudice. Homophobic people would probably think Justin had gotten what was coming to him. Homosexuality was a sin, after all. That is, according to religious types. Others just thought it was unnatural. Then, of course, generally speaking, men wouldn't want to believe that Justin had been raped because that might mean that they were not immune to that particular crime. Even if some did believe him, they would want to blame him. For the same reason. Then there were Ian's friends and family members, as well as students with whom he'd attended class. They wouldn't want to think of him as capable of such a monstrous act.

For a moment, I wavered. I could be with Justin at all times outside of school, and probably would be, but at PIFA, I couldn't protect him. But…Justin needed to stand on his own two feet, to know that he was capable of it.

So I stated in a soft voice, "That doesn't sound like the intrepid twink I know…Of course, it's your decision, Angel, but you don't want small-minded fools running your life, do you?"

Justin's POV

As I'd thought about what I'd be facing if I kept going to school, all my anger and frustration had quickly been replaced by fear and shame. Everyone, whatever they thought, would stare at me and whisper to friends as I walked by, and many, perhaps most, would bear me ill will. Who knows what they would say or do.

Still, I didn't want my life to be run by "small-minded fools." Even more, I didn't want to disappoint Brian. I wanted him to be proud of me. Hell, I wanted to be proud of myself. I hadn't allowed the jerks at St. James Academy to make me ashamed of myself, to make me hide who I was, and, in large part thanks to Brian, I hadn't let Hobbs scare me away from the Pride celebration. With Brian's help, I'd become comfortable in my own skin again, shaking off the fear the bashing had caused.

So though I wasn't sure I'd be up to the challenge, I stated firmly, "No. I don't."

Brian's POV

I knew Justin had to be scared. Anyone who'd been through as much as he had would be. I was so fucking proud of him at that moment that I smiled brightly, not quite a Sunshine smile, but close.

Then, I stated resolutely, "And I'll be right there with you while you dispute their decision…"

I added (mostly joking), hoping to lighten the somber mood this topic had inspired, "And even at PIFA, if you want."

Justin's POV

I laughed. Amused, I asked, "You're going to walk me to all my classes?"

Brian chuckled. "Sure, why not? I'll even sit through them all with you if you want me to."

I laughed as I imagined Brian in my life drawing class complimenting the model's cock.

Then I said, in as serious a voice as I could manage (I was still laughing), "I don't think that that will be necessary."

Brian retorted, "Afraid I'll embarrass you?"

I giggled and replied, "I know you will!"

In a mock hurt voice, he stated, "You wound me."

Despite the joking tone Brian had used, I knew that he would actually walk me to my classes and even stay with me during if I asked. But I couldn't do that. Just the fact that he'd offered made me feel stronger, more like myself. After taking a deep breath, I informed Brian, "Ok. Let's talk to Mel. I can't let them get away with this."

Brian's POV

I grinned. I declared brightly, "That's more like it."

Then in a softer voice, I drawled, "Do you miss me, Angel?"

Justin's POV

I whispered, "Yes, Master. So much."

Lately, I had become used to Brian being with me when the waters became rocky. His constant presence had such a calming effect on me that even when he didn't say a word, I felt comforted, safe.

Brian drawled, "I could come home for lunch…but only if you are very good."

I breathed, "I want to be, Master."

Brian chuckled. "I know you do, Angel. I'll be home at 12:15 on the dot. When I walk through that door, I want you naked, your skin all warm and damp from a hot shower, lying on the bed. I also want to see your cock hard and leaking, so a few minutes before I arrive, I want you to start jerking off slowly while thinking of me. Did you get all that, Angel?"

I smiled brightly. "Yes, Master."

Suddenly, the loft door slid open. I looked up in surprise. It was Daphne. She set a couple of suitcases on the floor inside the loft and then disappeared for a moment. I was too stunned to speak. In a flash, Daphne was back, this time pushing a folded up cot (the kind with a real mattress and retractable wheels on the middle legs).

Daphne grinned at me and said, "Hi, Justin! I thought you'd be at school."

I shook my head. "Don't ask."

"Ok…well, I'm going back downstairs to get the rest of my stuff. Back in a couple of minutes."

Brian's POV

I'd heard Daphne's voice and had been patiently waiting for the third degree.

Eventually, Justin asked, "Why is Daphne here? How did she get a key?"

I answered, just as cool as you please, "I made her one. She's going to be staying with us for a while."

I knew that Justin would need all the support he could get. Even more so now that he had to battle PIFA as well as Ian and Hobbs.

Probably in shock, Justin asked, "Do you know how much stuff she's got? She brought a cot and two suitcases and then went back for more. How long is she staying?"

I replied nonchalantly, "Oh I don't know. For a few months. She's going to sublet her apartment. Bring in a little extra money."

Justin exclaimed, "A few months?"

I replied brightly, "Yup."

Justin asked incredulously, "You're actually okay with that?"

Justin had every reason to doubt that I would be. I liked my privacy. I did allow people in my space, but not for very long. Generally, I had them in and out as quickly as possible. Mikey was allowed to stay longer than most, but not to spend the night. So far, Justin had been the only exception to all my privacy rules. I needed Justin, and Justin needed Daphne, especially now, so she was allowed long visits and even overnights.

More softly, I responded, "Sometimes I need to work late. I don't want you to get lonely. Plus, I imagine that you'll want to start planning the ceremony. I've heard that best friends come in handy for that sort of thing."

Justin breathed, "You never cease to amaze me, Brian Kinney."

A little uncomfortable with the compliment, especially given the awe in Justin's voice, I looked down and muttered, "Well, I suppose I should get back to work…"

Justin's POV

I was suddenly overwhelmed with love for Brian. I had loved Brian since the day we met, but there were moments in which I felt that love more intensely, much, much more intensely; these moments had been occurring with much greater frequency since we'd reunited.

I interjected, my voice low, "Brian…"

"Yes?"

I flushed a bit as I gently drew a finger over the ring Brian had given me the night before and said softly, "I love you."

After an unbearably long pause, just as softly, Brian replied, "I love you, too, Angel."

I smiled. "See you at 12:15."

Brian drawled, "Later, Angel."

"Later, Master." I shivered and smiled brightly. Calling Brian that gave me a thrill. Every single time.

After Daphne had set up her cot and her dresser (in the far right corner of the loft) and had put away some of her clothing while I told her about my meeting at school, she ran off to class. I still had an hour before Brian was due to arrive so I decided to start working on the painting that had begun taking shape in my mind when I first saw the warehouse, along with the abandoned plant, the railroad tracks, and the Monongahela River's dark water quietly lapping at the shore, the night before. I walked over to the chaise and carefully moved it aside. Then, I picked up a big heavy crate that had been sitting in the corner behind the chaise since the day I'd brought it from Ethan's. My painting supplies.

Before…just before, I'd done most of my work in the studio at school, but I'd brought some canvases, an easel, and paints to Ethan's just in case I was struck with inspiration at night. I hadn't touched the box in some time. I hadn't felt like doing much of anything, let alone painting. I set the box down carefully (I didn't want to scratch the floor) and opened it. I laid a drop cloth down and set up my easel and bench, slowly setting out tubes of paint and brushes.

When I reached into the crate to grab a fresh canvas, I saw the last painting I'd been working on. I'd started it during one of the lonely nights I'd spent without Brian. Ethan had been sleeping peacefully, but I'd kept tossing and turning. I hadn't been able to get that look on Brian's face right before I'd turned to leave the Rage party out of my mind. It'd haunted me. That night, every time I closed my eyes, that image appeared. So I had crawled out of bed and had started painting those eyes…the surprise, the unspeakable pain…

Suddenly, I thrust the half-finished painting back into the crate and took out a fresh canvas. I set it on the easel, but then just stared at it, motionless. I couldn't dislodge that image from my mind. It caused me even greater pain than before. None of the excuses that, together, had become a mantra for me (during the affair and after) helped. They seemed worse than empty. They accused me. Implicated me.

Brian had loved me at least since the prom, but during the year following, I had allowed doubt and fear, and everyone else's observations and opinions, to color the way I saw him. Brian was not perfect by any means. But still…I couldn't help but wonder helplessly why I hadn't been more patient… couldn't help but wonder when I'd started to think of myself not as the sole person who understood Brian, but as one of "them." Yet another victim of Brian's thoughtlessness. Another person Brian regularly disappointed. When I thought of everything that had been revealed at the "intervention" and everything Brian had done the night of my second prom and since, I felt sick.

I brushed away a tear and looked down. As I did, I just happened to catch sight of my watch. 11:45. Crud. The time had passed so quickly. I placed the lid back on the crate carefully, moved the chaise back to its original position, and rushed off to take a shower.

*******

Justin's POV

Brian slid the door open and entered the loft. I was stroking my cock slowly, remembering the night before, when he had sucked me off center stage in a warehouse full of people. When Brian caught sight of me, his eyes widened a little, but, as the seconds passed and his cock hardened, they began to close languidly. He set his briefcase down gently and then started rubbing his cock through his pants. Observing his reaction to what I was doing heightened the pleasure I was experiencing, lending it an urgency the slow pace I had set could not satisfy. Trying to control myself, I bit my lip hard. So hard that I tasted blood. Brian, Master, just stood on the other side of the loft, rubbing his cock lightly through the fabric of his pants.

I watched him closely, waiting for him to do or say something, to give me a clue as to what he wanted, what I should do. My frustration, sexual and otherwise, grew at pace with the seconds without a sign. More than anything, more than ever, I wanted to please Master. Today of all days, I had to, for today, PIFA's administrators had seen the mark of rape upon me and had sent me packing, as though the violence that had been perpetrated on my body were contagious. They had effectively punished me for being raped. I desperately wanted to believe that that was unfair, that I had done nothing wrong, but the unfinished painting of Brian belied that notion. I had let Ethan poison me, not only figuratively but also literally. Both had caused Brian unspeakable pain and had led to my being raped. No matter how many times and in how many ways Brian told me that nothing I had done had precipitated the rape, I had difficulty separating it from what had come before. I had done wrong, and I had been punished. Fuck, I was still being punished. Part of me felt that I had gotten, was getting, exactly what I deserved. Part of me felt that I deserved much worse.

I desperately wanted to be worth Brian's love. Worth his forgiveness. But I had no idea how to please him. I had no idea what he wanted. Should I ask? Or was what he wanted for me to anticipate his desires? Shouldn't I know intuitively how to please my Master? I tried to remember...what had he said exactly? He'd said he could come home for lunch, and, thinking back to the schedule, I noted that today was Monday.

On impulse, I crawled off the bed, onto the floor, and all the way across the room, dragging the fluffy white carpet along with me. Master watched, his face impassive as ever. I got up on my knees and resumed stroking my cock with one hand and added my other to his, rubbing his cock through his pants. When Master moved his own hand away, I unbuttoned and unzipped his pants and the slid them down (good thing I'm ambidextrous). Then I laid down on the floor, pulling him with me so that he was straddling my chest. I pulled his pants and shoes off, placed the tip of his hard cock into my mouth, and looked up at him with pleading eyes. He immediately placed his hands flat on the floor and began fucking my mouth, moving his hips slowly, sinuously. I moaned around his cock, eliciting a grunt from him as he struggled to maintain the slow pace he'd set. Then I again began stroking my now purple cock, again at an agonizingly slow speed.

Master lifted up his hands and removed first his suit jacket and then his dress shirt, one button at a time, looking down at me with dancing eyes. My eyes roamed his exposed skin hungrily. I loved it when he teased me. He had such a beautiful body. Suddenly he quickened the pace, fucking my mouth with an urgency that nearly drove me insane. I wanted to cum so badly that I was near tears. Then just as suddenly he stopped and pulled back. He just stared at me. I immediately rolled over and started rubbing my cock against the soft rug beneath me, spreading my legs wide. Master, doing what I expected, what I hoped he'd do, slid his bare cock between my ass cheeks, back and forth, establishing a steady rhythm. The pressure of his cock against my entrance sent a delicious shiver throughout my body, a trill of pleasure. I arched my back and rubbed my cock harder against the rug. I was sweating and panting. Master was hardly immune. His breath was ragged. When I was nearly overwhelmed with frustrated desire, my consciousness slowly slipping away, my body beginning to float, or so it seemed, Master placed his hands on my ass and slid his cock between my cheeks faster and faster. Moments later, he came with a half-whisper, half-moan, "Angel," spilling his seed all over my back. Then I let out a guttural shout, cumming all over the rug, my orgasm tearing through my body almost painfully. Master mopped up the cum on my back and on the carpet with his dress shirt. I moved to face him, sitting on a dry patch of the rug, just as he pulled a slip of paper from his jacket pocket. He tossed it into my lap. On it was scrawled, "I want to fuck your mouth, Angel, but I want to cum all over the soft ivory skin of your back, with you lying on the white rug."

My eyes widened. I asked incredulously, "This was a test? Of my ability to anticipate your desires?"

Brian nodded. Then he kissed my lips gently. "I needed to show you that you alone know what I want…"

I added, my voice barely rising above a whisper, "and that you alone know what I need."

Brian chuckled. Then he chastised me gently, "You know how I feel about your finishing my sentences."

He nudged my nose. "I should punish you, but…"

His lips caught mine in a passionate kiss that left me breathless. "But I guess I can let it go, just this once."