Hey guys, thank you all for the amazing reviews, you guys are total rock stars!!
It is so awesome to get positive reviews for chapter 9!
me4son – Thank you once again for your kind words, you are definitely very sweet (but I doubt you have to try very hard). I'm so glad you liked the chapter!!
hugbuddy13 & LoveAsh87 – Thanks and I'm glad you like seeing our girls get back on track, I love them together too much to not have them starting to find their way.
2bz2breading – thanks heaps. I really wanted to have Spencer invite Ashley to dinner because I felt that the Carlins would be missing Ash too and it seemed like a way of Spencer literally letting Ashley back in.
DontMindBnCrazy – Thanks for your review, hope you like the next instalment.
I am a bit nervous about chapter 10, so please let me know what you think.
You Have To Go There To Come Back
Chapter 10
Spencer's POV
I was so excited to be at Ego for the launch of Arona's first single. Ashley had worked so hard on this and I so wanted it to go perfectly for her. It was incredible to see how hard she had worked for this. I made small talk with Kyla, Aiden and Glen, all the while keeping my eyes locked on the stage waiting for the launch to begin, or more specifically waiting for Ashley to walk onto the stage. I tried to tell myself I was just excited for my friend, but we all know I was totally lying to myself.
Finally Ashley made her way to the microphone. She was looking beyond hot that night and I was having to fight the urge to drag her backstage and do some things to her that I'd never want my Mom to know about. Ash smiled at the audience and winked at me (insert dreaming stare and dorky sigh here), "Good evening guys my name is Ashley Davies and I wanted to welcome you to the official launch of the first single from a truly awesome band, Arona. The single is called 'Facing Who I am' and is now officially available at all record stores, with their debut album coming soon! Dirty Mind Records is proud and honoured to be a part of this journey with an amazingly talented bunch of people. So let's get em out here!"
Ashley paused to let the crowd cheer and applaud. "Ok so on lead vocals and guitar we have Hope," more applause, "on bass we have Africa," applause and a fair few catcalls, "on vocals and drums we have Grady," yet more applause, "and finally on keyboard we have Helix!" The crowd went wild as the last band member joined them on stage.
"Ok so I'm going to hand it over to Hope and Grady and then, if you're really lucky, we may be able to convince these guys to perform a few songs for you!" Ashley ran off the stage to thunderous applause, which I'll admit was loudest from me. I think I may be a groupie! Wait do record label execs have groupies? Oh well who cares?!
Hope and Grady walked over to the microphone, beaming smiles out over the crowd. "Hey everyone, thanks for coming out tonight to help us celebrate the launch of 'Facing Who I Am.' We just wanted to take this opportunity to thank everyone at Dirty Mind Records, yeah even you Grey," Hope teased as the crowd laughed. "But special thanks have to go to Ashley Davies who took a chance on us, a dinky little band from the 'burbs and gave us our shot, thanks Davies you are truly awesome!" Hope stepped back as Grady stepped in front of the microphone.
"We also want to thank our fans, friends and family for the endless support and encouragement, especially Africa's Mom who let us use her garage as a practice space and carted us to gigs in the family minivan. This has been a wild ride! 'Facing Who I Am' was jointly written by our very own lead singer Hope and our hero Ashley Davies. If you guys don't mind we'd love to play it for you now," Grady said with a big smile to the audience. The crowd loudly cheered their approval and the band took their place behind their instruments. Grady tapped out the count on his drum sticks and the band launched into the song.
Glen, Kyla, Aiden and I left our table and hit the dance floor. Glen and I started dancing together only to have my beautiful brunette cut in. Glen graciously bowed out, giving Ashley a huge smile, and I let my self be pulled into Ashley's arms. I could lie and tell you it was a dance between friends, but I won't do that. From the second her arms went around me 'friends' went out the window.
We swayed to the music, arms wrapped around each other and cheeks resting on each other shoulders. The song was beautiful, melodic and haunting. I clutched Ashley to me as the lyrics made their way over me and into my soul.
'I'm made too many mistakes babe
Made one too many wrong turns
I've messed up and broken down
But I think I've finally leaned
I lost sight of the person I was babe
Forgot who I wanted to be
I screwed up and ran away darling
But I know now what I need
I'm facing who I am babe
Seeing what I missed
Reliving where I went wrong
History no longer doomed to be repeated
I'm facing who I am
Facing who I am
The road has been long and winding babe
Confusing and downright hard
I lost it all now I'm fighting back
It's time to tear down this façade
I hurt you and I know that babe
God I wish it wasn't so
In losing you I lost it all
God only knows how I stopped so low
I promise I will fix it babe
I swear I'll make it right
I can't face another moment alone
I swear I'll make it right
I'm facing who I am babe
Seeing what I missed
Reliving where I went wrong
History no longer doomed to be repeated
I'm facing who I am
Facing who I am
History no longer doomed to be repeated
I'm facing who I am
Facing who I am'
As the last note faded out the audience broke into thunderous applause. I stood stock still in Ashley's arms just gazing into her eyes. That song could have been written about us. After a moment I tore my gaze away from Ashley's and joined the applause, feeling a little dazed to tell you the truth.
As the band started the next song I found myself back in Ashley's arms. She seemed to be able to tell how dazed I was and tenderly swayed me to the music. She put her lips against my ear and whispered, "Hope and I wrote that song about us. I wanted a way to tell you that I know I screwed up but that I won't ever be that person again." I pulled back so I would see her mocha eyes and gave her a smile before I kissed her tenderly on the cheek. I was so overwhelmed! I had a multitude of emotions racing around in my head, it was all a bit much really.
"It's beautiful Ashley, thank you so much, it means more to me than I can say." We fell into a comfortable silence and continued swaying to the music. I think Ashley could tell I was a bit overwhelmed. I couldn't stop thinking about the song Ashley and Hope had written. The lyrics touched me more than any piece of music ever had. I held Ashley as close to me as I could and buried my face in her neck, drinking in the unique scent that was all her. My God I loved her. After a few songs Ashley had to excuse herself to run back stage. I watched her go with a strange feeling settling over my heart.
I missed her already and she'd only be gone a moment. I wanted her with me, always. It was in that moment that I realised that I had completely forgiven her and was ready to move on, with her. It was in that moment that I realised it was all ok. I knew that I was completely and irrevocably in love with Ashley Davies and I couldn't let the past ruin our future.
I wandered back to the table in deep thought. I sat down and pondered the last few weeks of my life. Being with her, having her in my life, made everything better. While I was with Ashley everything felt right in my world and I felt truly alive. I couldn't pinpoint the exact moment I forgave her, I guess it had been a gradual process as I got to see my Ashley back to being herself.
I was pulled from my musings by the applause as the band finished their last song. I clapped along with everyone else, but kept scanning the room for my girl. I had to talk to her, had to see her. I had to hear her say, what I knew in my heart to be true. That she loved me. Glen, Kyla and Aiden joined me at the table giving me big cheesy grins that I found a tad suspicious, hell maybe they'd all hit the red cordial or something?
Hope stepped back up to the microphone and called out, "Ok ladies, gentlemen and not so gentlemen," the audience laughed, although I was in my own little world and didn't really register, "so we have a little treat for you all tonight. The lovely CEO of Dirty Mind Records has offered to grace us all with a song which she wrote." What, wait…what did she say? I was confused until I saw Ashley walk out onto the stage with her acoustic guitar. Kyla, Aiden and Glen shared knowing glances but I barely noticed, my eyes were trained on the breath-taking women on stage.
She took a seat on a stool in front of the microphone. "Thanks Hope, let's give it up for Arona one more time!" The crowd cheered and clapped, I sat frozen, my eyes locked on my girl. "Ok well if you guys don't mind I've written a song for a very special woman who's here tonight and I'd like to play it for her if you'll indulge me," the crowed cheered their approval, "Spence this ones for you, it's called I Promise You."
Our eyes locked and held as she began strumming her guitar and the band took their places ready to come into the song in the right moments. I could barely breathe as her husky voice washed over me.
'In the morning, when I wake
dear,
Your memory comforts me.
In the darkness, when I'm
frightened,
I can see you in my dreams.
Though I'm far
dear, though we're parted,
I know that time can change
nothing.
So if you feel afraid, and if your hope is gone,
Just
remember all these things I promise you.
I will move
heaven,
I will move hell and earth to be where you are.
I will
move heaven,
And it might take my life,
It might take
forever,
But I promise you.
As I sail through, stormy seas
dear,
You come to still my heart.
As I walk through, a path of
danger,
You lead me through the dark.
Though I'm far dear,
and though were parted,
I know that time can change nothing.
So
if you feel alone, and if your faith is gone,
Just remember all
these things I promised you.
I will move heaven,
I will
move hell and earth to be where you are.
I will move heaven,
I
will move hell and earth to be where you are.
I will move
heaven,
And it may take this life,
It may take forever,
I
promise you.
I promise you.'
I think I held my breath the entire time she was singing, either that or she literally took my breath away. I felt tears start to trickle from my eyes as I stood up. Ashley followed suit, laying down her guitar and hopping off the stage. We started to move towards each other as if pulled by some gravitational force. All I knew was that I simply had to get to her. There was nothing on earth that would stop me from getting to my girl in that moment.
The crowd parted like the Red Sea, everyone else in the room melted away and all I saw was my girl. We reached each other and both hesitated, waiting for the other to make the first move. I guess we were both scared that if we moved it would all disappear and the dream that was the moment would be gone. I smiled warmly as I tenderly reached out to hold her and pull her to me so I could kiss her with all the love I felt. She responded instantly and we sunk into sublime ecstasy as our mouths moved together and our hand held each other closer.
Her body was crushed against mine, my hands in her gorgeous brown curls, while hers circled my waist. We broke apart breathing heavily, resting our foreheads together. Her eyes bore into mine, reading my every thought and emotion. It was then that I became aware of the screams of approval and loud clapping of the audience, I was sure I could discern Glen's loud cheers of approval from the general din.
I blushed a deep crimson and laughed, happiness bubbling over me. Ashley cupped my face in her hands, tenderly wiping the remaining tears from my cheeks with the pads of her thumbs. She kissed my forehead, then the tip of my nose before capturing my lips in a sweet kiss that made me feel light-headed and kinda drugged.
She took my hand and led me from the room, away from the masses and into the back of the club. Once we were away from everyone she turned to face me with the biggest smile on her beautiful face. She bit her lip and moved to stand before me. She almost looked scared, like she thought I was about to blow her off or something. I held her gaze as I took her hand in mine and whispered, "It's ok Ash. I love you and I want us again."
Ashley's POV
"It's ok Ash. I love you and I want us again." My girl whispered to me. I had been waiting to hear those words for so long I was almost positive I was dreaming. I reached out to gently stroke the smooth skin of her cheek, a huge smile making its way onto my face. I was touching her face and she wasn't disappearing, this was real, it wasn't a dream.
"Really? You mean it?" I was in a kind of daze and needed to hear it again.
Spencer tilted her head and gave me the smile that I know is reserved for only me, "Yeah I mean it. I love you and I have missed you so much. I need you Ashley and I want to be us again."
I crushed my lips against hers, feeling deliriously happy. I pulled back and kissed her on both cheeks, her eye lids and her nose before I whispered to her, "I love you too and God do I need you. So are you my girl?"
"Always," she whispered simply. I pulled her back into my arms and kissed her with all the love I had. I wanted there to be no doubt in her mind that I loved her and was committed to her. I don't know what deity smiled down on me and brought my girl back into my arms but I will forever be in debt to them.
We sat down on a couch and kissed for a long time before just holding each other. I never thought I could feel so blissfully happy. I had Spencer back, that day would go down as one of the best in my life. I lovingly stroked her hair as she snuggled against me. "Baby can I take you somewhere?" I asked in a raspy voice, making out for ages will do that to you.
"Sure, anywhere you are I want to be," She replied with the sweetest of smiles. I think I fell even more in love with her in that moment. I held her hand in mine and we left the club through the back entrance to avoid the crowd. I paused when I felt my phone vibrating. I quickly read the incoming text message before laughing and giving the phone to Spencer so she could read the text message. She shook her head and laughed. The text said,
-bout damn time u 2. Glad u finally figured out what we all knew, that ur meant to be. Have a grt night. We luv u – Ky, aid and glen
"They're right you know," Spencer whispered as she wrapped her arms around my waist.
"What do mean?"
"That we're meant to be." I turned in her arms and kissed her adoringly. I will never get tired of kissing Spencer Carlin.
"We certainly are, now lets get out of here." I walked her to my car and opened the passenger side door for her. Hopping in the driver's side I started driving towards a place that held a special meaning to both of us. I held Spencer's hand in mine the whole way.
I parked the Porsche in a space at the beach and we got out. Both of us abandoned our high-heels in the car and walked barefoot, hand in hand, to our spot under the pier. It was the spot where we had sat and talked the day Spencer had told me she liked girls.
I spread out the blanked I'd grabbed from the backseat of my car and we sat down, me leaning back against the wood of the pier and Spencer in between my legs, leaning back against me. I circled her waist with my arms and she placed her hands over mine. We snuggled together, just enjoying the thrill of being in each others arms, it was magic.
"Ash?"
"Yeah Baby?"
"Even before you sang that song to me, actually just after we danced together I realised that I'd forgiven you. You walked away to go back stage and I already missed you. I don't even know when exactly I got past everything Ash, I just realised that it was ok and I know that I want to make this work between us. No more messing around, I don't want us to mess this up again, this is it, this is real," she turned so that she could look up into my face.
"Yeah, I don't want to go messing this up, you're right this is real and it's all I've ever wanted. I don't want to screw this up again, ever. I just want you. Nothing matters without you. Life without you is life half lived. I want to live completely, a 100% crazy life of adventure, love, passion and all those other wonderful things that give this all meaning and I want it all with you." I kissed her on her full lips before cuddling her closer to me. "So where do we go from here?" I asked tentatively.
"Well we take things slowly. We talk, we be honest and open with each other, we spend time together and see where this road takes us. We have forever together, but for the moment I just want to snuggle up in the arms of the beautiful woman I love with all my heart and enjoy the here and now." I kissed the top of her head and held her to me.
"Sounds perfect to me," I murmured against her silky hair.
We sat like that all night. Talking, cuddling and well making out like horny high school kids from time to time. I held her in my arms as the sun came up, bathing the world in gold. The sky became a mass of purples, pinks, blues and golds, an array of colour just for us. I watched the sun shine off her golden hair and tilted her face so I could see into her cerulean eyes. "I love you Spencer Carlin, thank you for giving me another chance and I promise I will spend my life trying to make you as happy as you make me," I murmured.
She smiled up at me and said softly, "There was never any doubt in my mind that I'd give you another chance Ash, I love you and I couldn't comprehend a future without you in it. All I needed was time, we both did. Everything that happened, all the pain and hurt, it all led us here. Maybe we had to lose each other before we realised just how much we really needed each other."
"Maybe. I'm just glad we got here. But I think I should get you some breakfast hmm?" Right on cue her stomach grumbled loudly and we both laughed as Spencer blushed a pretty spectacular shade of red, she is so cute when she blushes. "Ok the stomach has spoken, breakfast it is."
We walked back to the car hand in hand and sat and watched the tide for a moment. Once Spencer's stomach rumbled again we headed off to the best place on earth to have breakfast, casa del Carlin. As we pulled up Mr. C came out to get his paper, just like he had the morning I came to pick Spencer up when she was coming to move into the loft.
We walked up the path towards him hand in hand and he smiled warmly at us, "Well if it isn't my favourite girls. Rumour has it that you two finally got your act together and are a couple again."
We beamed at him and Spencer rolled her eyes, "Let me guess, this rumour came from Glen?"
"I can't reveal my sources," Mr. C said with a twinkle in his eye, "actually the gangs all here if you lovely ladies would like to join us for one of my Sunday morning breakfast extravaganzas."
"Just lead the way Mr. C," I joked. We followed the Carlin patriarch into the house and were met by a very emotional Mrs. C.
"Oh it's true?! That's so wonderful, come here both of you!" before we could move Mrs. C had us both bound in an extremely oxygen-restricting hug. "I am so happy you found your way back to each other!" I almost can't believe the 180 this woman turned. I remember when she first found out Spencer was gay and to be frank I still have nightmares about it from time to time. I much prefer this version of Paula Carlin.
After we extricated ourselves from Mrs. C's octopus-like hug we entered the dinning room and faced the interrogation squad, by which I mean Glen, Kyla and Aiden.
"So what happened to you two last night? Hmm? After the whole public make out? Are you finally gonna stop all the crap and be together? Oh wait did you to have sex last night?" Glen asked, earning a punch in the arm from Spencer and a glare from Mrs. C.
I took Spencer's hand in mine and kissed her knuckles, she turned to me with a broad grin, earning an 'aw' from everyone but Glen who pretended to gag, earning him another punch from my girl, wouldn't want to be Glen Spencer has a mean right hook.
"Well I guess it's pretty obvious, but we're together again. I love Ashley and I get the impression she kinda likes me," Spencer paused to grin lovingly at me, "the past is just that, past and now we'll move on. Thank you guys for supporting us both while we sorted ourselves out. I really love you all, even you Glen," Spencer gave her brother a cheeky smile and wrapped her arm around my shoulder.
"Well this calls for a celebration, everyone have a seat and I'll get this breakfast feast on the table!" Mr. C said with a huge grin. I took a seat next to Spencer then almost passed out at the sight of all the food Mr. C had prepared for us. There were three different types of pancakes (butter, chocolate chip and strawberry), fresh fruit, scrambled eggs, toast, bacon, sausage and hash browns. Glen beat us all to it and started piling his plate high with food. Some things never change, but there is definite comfort in that. We were soon all digging in to second and third helpings of everything, I really wonder how Paula, Spencer and Glen are not hugely fat living off the delicious culinary creations of Mr. C.
After breakfast a rather tired Spencer dragged me upstairs to her room where she pulled me into bed with her and we soon fell asleep, wrapped in each other's arms content and at peace.
Hope you enjoyed this chapter, please let me know what you think. Also if you have any idea where you'd like this to go please let me know!
Love to all who review!
The songs used in this chapter were:
Facing Who I Am – Written by yours truly (sorry if it sucks!)
I Promise you – Judith Owen