Chapter 13 – Nervous Energy Outlier

Sai Summers

"So…yeah," I started. "Why don't you guys take off for the night?" I stood from the floor and wandered to the doorway.

Liz looked mildly surprised. "What about Kid?" It wasn't so much a question as a generalized statement of what either of us was going to do about him in his current state of mind.

I thought for a moment on it. "Leave him. I'll send him on his way in the morning. If I can get him to emerge from this…dread." I bit my lip in debate.

Patty looked at me with bright eyes. "Oh! You're gonna let him stay here, huh?" She giggled. "What about…?"

Liz cut her off and scowled at her. "I think you've said plenty for the evening; let's go." She began dragging Patty out of the doorway by the arm.

I shut my bedroom door quietly behind them, and sighed.

"But sister…!" Patty whined, her voice growing fainter as they left the apartment.

I walked over and sat back down at Kid's right; he continued to take up residence in my sleeping-futon, buried under the comforter. "Are you asleep?" I questioned in honesty.

His answer was muffled. "No."

"Do plan on coming out of there?"

"No." His voice sounded depressed.

Not the answer I was looking for.

I decided to try another tactic. "Do you plan on rearranging my desk because it's in complete disarray?"

Kid sat up with a start and looked at my desk. The only thing on it was the quartz-timer clock I had used to mention the time earlier.

I cocked my head to the right. "I haven't finished unpacking yet."

He blinked and hung his head. "That was a cruel joke."

I nodded. "And it worked." I paused. "So why are you hiding in my bedding? Was what she said something horrid?"

Kid started scratching at his shirt collar, ignoring my question. It was loose from the upper buttons being opened and it appeared to be bothersome. "Where's my tie?"

I motioned to my desk chair in the far corner where his tie and jacket hung. I had left his well-shined black boots under it. "I figured you'd be more comfortable. You've been laying there for a quite a while."

He started to scratch at his hair.

I got curious, unfortunately. "What's the matter?"

He ignored my question and continued to scratch.

"Kid…?" I started.

Kid seemed unable to stop, and he started to pant. I grabbed his wrists, forcing him to cease and desist with the activity.

He sighed, and gave a half-smile. "Sorry, nervous energy." He explained, and I released his arms; he left them in his lap.

I then noticed Kid's gold eyes reflected his level of exhaustion.

"Maybe you should lie back down. You look like you could use some more sleep."

He eyed me unconvinced; he raised an eyebrow. "I figured you would want to discuss what just happened."

I shrugged. "I'm not going to push you to discuss something that makes you so obviously uncomfortable. Despite my jokes, I'm not that cruel."

Kid's eyed narrowed. "Then why did you drag me out from under the blankets if you didn't want to discuss it with me?"

I laughed. "You're not seriously going to get upset that I didn't want to let you cower in fear from me?"

He seemed taken aback. "What if I was upset about that?"

And he got a smile from me in response. "Then I'd say you're full of it!"

Kid turned away from me, staring at the floor to his left.

There were several moments of silence.

This meeting-of-the-hearts wasn't going well.

I sighed, and stood half-way up. "Anyway, sorry…I should have just left you alone. We're arguing about nonsense."

Kid's iron grip grabbed my left wrist; I didn't turn to look at him.

"Wait. Say again what you said a moment ago." He asked of me, quietly.

I gathered my thoughts. "I'll just assume you don't mean the part about being full of it." I paused. "I said that I didn't want you to cower in fear from me."

He was unconvinced. "No…You said you didn't want me to let myself cower in fear from you. Why did you say that?"

I chuckled. "I already forgot how perceptive you are." I shook my wrist and looked back at him with kindness. "Um…I'll sit down again if you let go of me. Promise."

Kid released my wrist and returned his right arm to his lap.

I bit my lip. "When you were asleep you kept talking about being afraid of people. You seem nervous a lot. You have anxiety…." My voice trailed off. I had lost the purpose of my thought.

His eyes narrowed again. "But what was your point before? Why is me allowing myself to be afraid a problem?"

I had no immediate response for him. "You're a striped ball of nerves and I worry about that?" Was all I could come up with.

He gave a slight sigh and a scowl. "You're using humor to cover up what's really bothering you…it's irritating."

Kid was so perceptive; to the point that it hurt. I didn't know how to word it, how to say it. I lowered my head.

I could hear the distress in his voice. "What is it, Sai?" He paused. "Please tell me." He asked quietly. "Fine, I'll say it. Patty wasn't really making it up. I do like you…but if it's a problem, I'm sorry…" He allowed his voice to trail off.

I struggled to make my thoughts coherent. "It's not…Kid…"

I just wasn't sure I could say it. The tears welled up in my eyes.

Kid lowered his head and looked up at me. "Sai?" He paused and turned away. "I guess I really am that bad…you don't even want to tell me you're not interested."

I can't tell him! I don't want him to be afraid of me, too! I realized.

I jumped up from the floor and bolted for the door. I flung it open and ran into the living room. And unfortunately for him, right into Soul who was carrying a white plastic bowl of freshly popped popcorn.

"Whoa!" He dropped the bowl and its contents scattered. "What's the matter?!"

I covered my face with my hands to hide my tears. Soul held onto my shoulders.

I heard footsteps behind me; Kid had run into the living room and stood outside of my room.

"Did he say something mean to you?" Soul asked quietly, smoothing my hair with his left hand.

I shook my head "no" hard.

Soul seemed confused. "Then what's wrong?"

I heard Maka's bedroom door open, and she wandered into the living room. "What's going on? Everyone looks upset." She stood with her arms crossed against her chest.

"I think Sai's too afraid of the way I am." Kid muttered. He scratched his head and looked at the floor.

Soul made a sour face and sighed. "Actually Kid, I think you have it backwards."

There was confusion in his voice. "Then…?"

Soul didn't waste time on a basic introduction. "Sai has the ability to consume a Meister while they're alive. She essentially absorbs their entire existence – mind, body, and soul. She spent five years out of the country, in a remote area of Iceland, trying to learn how to restrain that ability."

I heard Maka whistle through her teeth.

"I'm a monster." I muttered through my hands.

Soul pulled my arms down and pushed me into sitting down on the green, polyester couch. "No you're not, and it's not your fault."

There was silence from Kid for a long moment. "I wonder if that would only apply to human Meisters…" I heard him debate quietly with himself, after a moment.

Soul patted the top of my head and I looked up at him. "Even amongst our Weapon-laden family, it is one of the strangest abilities. No one else alive currently has the faculties to perform it."

I sniffed. "On the chart of abilities, I fall way to the outskirts of normal."

Kid wanted the details. "Is it only Meisters?" He asked abruptly.

Soul sat down on the couch at my right. "We believe so, yes."

He seemed reluctant to ask. "Has is ever happened? The eating of a Meister…"

Soul shook his head. "No. It's just a latent skill for now."

"What triggers it you think?" Kid asked curiously.

Soul and I answered at the same time: "Extreme rage."

Kid seemed mildly bemused. "I want to say it's strange, but I would be the pot calling the kettle black. But I'm not sure it really matters. After five years, and it's never actually happened, why would you be so afraid to mention it?"

I tried to hide my shame with humor again. "Because most people don't want to die?"

Kid scowled. "Be serious for a moment, would you?"

I tried to smile. "Because you already seem to have so much you're afraid of, and I didn't want to add myself to that list. That's why I didn't want to say anything. But I didn't want to hide it – I knew you'd go looking for an answer about it anyway. Soul told me you're very curious about what is unique or of concern."

Kid leaned against the doorjamb, crossing his arms across his chest. "I can see that being something worth being afraid of." He paused. "But you've already realized I have some unrealistic fears, right? I have fears – some like other people – some not. And do you really think dying is one of those for me?"

I shook my head.

He wanted to test me. "What is your real fear in this whole scenario?"

I already knew the answer. "Myself."

He smiled. "Then we're even."

I looked up at him, and then hung my head. "I'm still afraid I could hurt you."

Kid ignored my comment, and walked to my right, into the kitchen. He returned a moment later with a sharpened steak knife in his right hand.

I felt my eyes grow large.

Maka was silent in confusion, but Soul tried to comment: "Kid…what are you doing…?"

He stabbed himself in the left shoulder with the knife, and then abruptly pulled it out. It made the sound of slicing through meat, and the room smelled like coppery blood. He gave a light grunt, but made no other motions of discomfort.

Maka and I shrieked. Soul stood aghast.

A thin line of blood ran down his chest and stained his shirt, but it wasn't nearly as much as I had expected.

Kid walked over and stood in front of Maka, offering the knife to her handle-first. "Would you like this back? I'm done using it. " He asked in all seriousness.

Maka threw a fit, her arms rigid at her side. "No!!! Of course not! What are you doing?!"

He shrugged and stepped in front of Soul. Soul took the knife from him, and asked no questions.

Kid stepped next to me, bowed at the waist, and pulled his white dress-shirt back. He exposed the puncture wound he had just made. It had already ceased to bleed.

"I'll take my chances with death." He stated with a smile. Kid then realized his own pun and chortled. "Chances with death. Nice." He stood up and walked back towards my room. Over his shoulder he stated: "If you don't mind, I am going to rest for a bit longer. I'm still a bit on the tired side."

I tried to put my thoughts together. "Uh, that's fine."

"Thank you. And I'll leave the shirt on the chair. I wouldn't want to get blood on the bedding."

I smiled. "Th-Thank you." I managed to get out finally. I was still suffering from shock.

Kid gave a final nod and shut the bedroom door behind him.

Soul – with the bloody knife still in his hand – and Maka both stared at me.

"Kid just stabbed himself over you." Soul stated flatly.

I nodded. "I know. And that scares the absolute hell out of me."