You Haven't Changed, Have You?

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KPOV

I was now 8, and a half months pregnant and I didn't know how much longer I was going to last.

I started seeing articles about Rob, and how he started dating Camilla Belle, and it was "pretty serious"

It made me so mad when I read about how he said "I love her with all my heart."

HE ABANDONED ME, AND OUR BABY, AND NOW, HE WAS SAYING THAT HE LOVED SOMEONE ELSE!

AT THE HOSPITAL

The pain was too much to bear, and it hurt so bad.

The contractions were getting closer, and closer together, and I was only dilated to a 7, so I had about another hour before I could start pushing.

There was still nothing from Rob. No phone calls, no letters, nothing.

After another hour passed, it was time for me to start to get this thing out.

The adoptive parents were outside, with my family. I didn't want anyone in here, beside the doctor, and of course, myself.

"Okay Miss Stewart, on three, I need you to push for me okay sweetie?"

I nodded, and inhaled slowly.

"One…Two…Three."

I pushed with all my strength.

"Uahhhhhhh"

I held my knees, and collapsed back into the bed, screaming.

After about 4 more pushed like that, I was completely exhausted, and I just wanted to stop.

I tried not to cry, but It was hard not to.

"Okay Miss Stewart, just one more, and you'll meet your baby, alright?"

I nodded again, and pushed as hard as I have since I began.

Then I heard it, a loud, screaming cry of a baby.

"it's a girl!"

I laughed euphorically, and looked up to see the bloody mess.

She was beautiful, even with all that gunk all over her.

This was going to be a lot harder than I planned it would be.

Then after she was cleaned up, they handed her to me. I was hesitant, because I knew that once I laid my hands on her, that I wouldn't be able to give her up.

I held my baby in my arms.

Her eyes were shut, and she was waving her little fists around. I started crying.

I took her hand in mine, and kissed her forehead.

"Hi."

She whimpered, and cooed.

"How am I supposed to let you go?"

I didn't want to let her go, ever. I wanted to hold her in my arms forever, and I would do anything to protect her. I couldn't do this. Then, I heard the door creak open, and Ellen, and Domenic walked in.

Their eyes went straight to the baby, then to me, and Ellen looked pained, and upset. She knew.

"Kristen…she's---beautiful."

She slowly walked over to me, and I suddenly became very nervous, and tense, and my grip on my baby tightened.

She noticed, and stopped in her tracks.

I looked at her, then back to my daughter.

"Ellen--I--I--cant do this..I am so, so sorry. I--"

She sighed, and walked closer.

"Sweetie, its okay, I understand."

She started to walk away, but I called for her.

"Ellen, wait…"

She turned back around, and wiped her tears.

"I--I want you to be---her---her godmother."

She stopped breathing…I could tell.

"You don't have to do this honey. Its alright."

"No, I-I want her to know you."

"Thank you honey."

I smiled, and she and Domenic left, leaving me alone with my daughter.

I rocked her a little, and held her fist.

"Mommy loves you so much, you know?"

She whimpered, and opened her eyes.

"Ohh! Hello angel."

She stirred, and adjusted her eyes to mine.

She looked like Rob so much.

I started crying…again.

"Hi baby…"

I kissed her forehead, and then, a nurse came in.

"Sorry to bother you hun, but we have to bring her down the nursery, but first, have you picked a name yet?"

I looked down at the baby.

"Lily Elizabeth Pattinson."

It pained me to say his name.

"Its beautiful."

She walked over to me. I didn't want her to talk Lily. I wanted her to go away, and leave me be with my baby, but I had to let her go, and be with the other babies for a little while.

She took her from me, and I watched as she left.

I slouched into the bed, and placed my hands on my flat stomach. I missed my bump.

I closed my eyes, when I heard a knocking at the door.

The door opened.

I saw him then. Still the same man. But then, I saw her. Camilla.

She really was beautiful. She just looked right with Rob.

I just stared him in the eyes.

I felt like I couldn't breath.

"R--Robert?"

He hesitated, and looked to Camilla, who nodded, and he entered the room, but she followed.

"What are you doing here?"

"Kris, she's my daughter."

I laughed cynically, and turned my head away from him.

"She's not here. She's in the nursery."

"Okay."

Then, I heard her British voice.

"Kristen…I hope you wouldn't mind, your baby…calling me…mom?"

I wanted to fucking kill her…AND HIM!

"Like hell I will."

"I--I'm sorry---"

"No, the answer is NO. You WILL NOT be anything to my baby…do you understand me? Nothing. She is not yours. She is mine. Mine. You got that?"

"But Kristen…Robert and I are---getting married--and---"

Holy fuck.

"Wait…what?"

Rob cut in.

"I'm sorry Kristen."

"No, don't be..because YOUR NOT SORRY!"

Then, the nurse walked back in with my baby.

She started. "Are you--"

I cut in.

"Can I have my baby?"

She walked past Rob, and handed her to me. She gurgled, and stirred.

She left, with the door slam.

Rob just had his eyes fixed on our baby.

Then, she started to talk.

"She's gorgeous Kristen."

"Shut up. I don't want you having anything to do with her."

She shut it.

Rob came closer, but I took my hand from underneath Lily's back, and held it against Rob's chest.

"Don't. You. Dare."

"You're kidding me, right?"

"NO Rob, I am not."

"I know that you used my last name..that counts for something."

I sighed, and turned my head to Camilla.

"Get out. I don't want you here. You're not welcome."

She looked upset, but left the room quietly.

I turned my attention back to Lily.

He sat in the chair next to me, and I looked to him.

"Why did you do it Rob? You left us, and now your…with her?"

"I do love her Kris."

I whispered. "I don't give a damn. She is NOT being my daughter's step-mother or anything having to do with her."

He just nodded, knowing he shouldn't cross me.

He hesitated, but touched Lily's foot.

She squirmed, and I shifted her in my arms.

"Shh…its okay angel. Mommy's here."

I kissed the top of her forehead, and she settled right away.

I looked back to Rob, and took his hand in mine.

"Kristen…I--"

He was cut off by Lily's screams, and cries.

I sighed, and shifted her again, looking back to Rob.

Without thinking, I held out the baby very slowly, and carefully to Rob.

"I---I cant."

"Its okay, just, put one hand under her head, and the other on her back. It's alright."

He took the baby every so gently, and she quiteted her lamb-like noises.

He grinned, and sighed.

"You look like your mom."

I laughed.

"She's beautiful Kristen. Just like you.."

I looked away, and rubbed my arms.

Then, the baby started to wine.

He started getting ready to hand her back to me, but I shook my head, and just sat there, watching Rob's next move.

He took the baby back into his arms, and rocked her very gently.

"Its okay…shh…its okay…(K: He hesitated) Daddy's here."

I broke down then.

I put my hand on his arm, and he looked up at me.

"Kristen---I still love you, you know that. Camilla…she…she's just, she's like you. That's why I'm with her. It has always been you. Always."

He kissed the top of my forehead, and brang his attention back to Lily.

"I--I love you. Yea, I--I do."

I smiled, and put my hand on Lily's foot.

"Kristen, I never, ever forgot about you. I left because…I was scared. I didn't know how to help you, and I just felt so powerless. I was stupid, and I am so..so sorry for what I put you through, what I did to you. Can you ever..ever forgive me, for our daughter's sake?"

"Yes, I can forgive you. But just promise me that you will never leave me…our our baby, ever again?"

"I can't promise you that Kristen. Because I can swear you it."

He kissed my lips, and was interrupted by Lily's wails.

"Okay, okay, back to you angel."

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