AN: Not my characters. Thanks to le beta 'cause she's one of my favorite people ever.

Hold me tight

Tell me I'm the only one

And then I might

Never be the lonely one

- The Beatles, "Hold Me Tight"

…June 1966…

The sun shines down on the two of them as they sit in the park, letting the warmth overtake them. Their picnic has long been forgotten as Bella and Mike stare into one another's eyes, enjoying their summers. Mike has just turned nineteen, and has also just graduated; Bella will be a senior in the fall at Newton High School. He is the grandson of the school's namesake, and therefore seen as their "Golden Boy". She is the daughter of Dr. and Mrs. Carlisle Cullen, and her family is considered old money and respected in town, despite the fact that the Cullens' history is not rooted in Connecticut. Mike and Bella have been dating for two years and are, for all intents and purposes, seen as the 'it' couple.

"I can't believe I graduate next year," Bella muses, extending her left hand to trace Mike's hairline. He is lying on the blanket they brought in a relaxed pose and responds by covering her hand with his own and closing his eyes, enjoying the feel on her fingertips on his skin. It is early June and the weather is perfect: all sunshine and blue skies.

"No kidding. I feel like you guys just moved onto our block yesterday, but it was eight years ago," Mike replies, remembering the summer that the Cullens moved from Washington State to Hartford. Bella had been the most beautiful girl on the block from day one, and Mike had harbored a crush for years before he felt confident enough to ask her to go steady.

Bella smiles at him as he opens his eyes. His blue eyes focus on her brown and he sits up, adjusting his position so that he is next to her. "Bella, I… have something to tell you."

"What is it, Mike?" she asks, genuinely curious.

He is nervous; it is apparent in his very demeanor now as he scratches his chin and takes a deep breath. She plays with the hem of her khaki skirt and her eyes dart downward, wondering if he intends to break up with her because he's been accepted to an out of state college. It's not something they've talked about – staying together – but she had assumed …

Mike's anxious voice pulls her out of her contemplation.

"Bella, I don't know how to say this…" His voice falters and he finds himself staring at his hands. He is looking at his knuckles, gathering the courage he needs to admit his secret and then ask what he needs to ask when Bella's hands cover his hands with hers. Her quiet, strong voice speaks.

"Mike, you can tell me anything. What's going on?"

She is too good for me, he thinks, but takes a breath before beginning his confession.

He swallows hard and then it all comes out.

"Bella, I've enlisted in the Army. You know Vietnam is ugly, and I want to fulfill my duty as a citizen of the United States. I feel this is a responsibility for me, Bella, and I can't turn back now."

She is silent and wide-eyed as she croaks out, "When?"

He is grave. "I leave in three weeks for basic training. It lasts three months and then they'll ship me out to Vietnam."

Tears well up in her eyes as she considers her life without him: beginning her senior year alone, while he is halfway around the world. No homecoming, no Christmas traditions, no prom. He will be gone for her birthday; unreachable in the camp where they will mold him from the young man who stands before her now to a product of the US Army. She wonders if he will change, if he will become a whole new person – one she doesn't want to know.

The tears tumble over her eyelashes and her chin presses into her chest as her emotions overwhelm her. She has spent two years with Mike and he will be gone in three weeks. How could he wait this long to tell her? They have scarcely enough time …

As though he has heard her thoughts, he interrupts them. "Bella, don't cry. Please don't cry. It's not all bad." She looks up at him through her veil of tears, incredulous. He grins at her and reaches into his shirt pocket, pulling out a simple gold band and placing it in her opened palm. "This is my promise to you, Bella, that I will return and be yours always, if you'll have me. There's no diamond, but we can consider this a promise ring, if you'd like. Will you wear my ring?"

She stares at the ring in its position lying flat in the palm of her hand and almost doesn't take it.

Marrying Mike is not necessarily unappealing; the idea that she will be a housewife and mother is, though, and she knows this is part of the plan for him. She doesn't want to marry so young, but the idea of a promise ring, implying that one day they will become husband and wife, is a wonderful one. At the thought of a happy future, a smile finally quirks the corners of her lips upward. She reaches behind her neck with one hand, giving the ring back to him with the other. Bella pulls the clasp of her necklace – a simple gold chain – to her chest and unclips it. Then, she looks up at him, her smile now full-blown, and whispers, "Help me put it on?"

He crushes her in his arms and she sighs, feeling a mixture of anger at his withholding of information and young love because he has given her a ring and they have spent two years together. She closes her eyes and ignores the fact that in three weeks, she will be alone in Hartford while he prepares to place himself in the line of fire.

They part and he clips her necklace together, moving the clasp to the back of her neck as he kisses her forehead. His relief is evident; he thought she'd react in a way that was much worse than a few tears.

She sits perfectly still as his arms wrap around her and they settle into a comfortable position together. The stillness of the park is magnified and she fingers the ring that now hangs around her neck. Mike's arms are a comfort to her, and she feels safe and protected with him. He is hers, and hers alone, and though she is certain that his absence will hurt, she will stand by him and wait for his permanent return home.

*~*~*

Mike walks in with Bella early that evening and calls a meeting of the Cullens in their living room. "I have something I'd like to announce, and I want you all to hear it," he says, and Carlisle and Esme quickly enter the room, taking seats on the couch. They notice their daughter looks resigned and unhappy, but cannot consider this for too long because Mike begins to speak.

"I just told Bella this, and I wanted to announce it to you all, face to face. I know Jasper's not here, but I can't wait until Thanksgiving or whenever he's supposed to visit again." Mike wrings his hands and takes a deep breath. For some reason, he is more nervous about telling his girlfriend's father that he has enlisted than he was to make the same announcement to her. It makes no sense, but he continues to speak, regardless. "I've enlisted in the Army, and I ship out to basic training in three weeks. I'll immediately be sent to the front lines in Vietnam."

It is silent in the room as Carlisle stares at the boy in wonder. He could have been something special, Bella's father thinks. He could have been the top of his class at University. He sends a small grin at Mike and says "Well done, my boy," as his wife stares at their daughter. Esme can see through her daughter's façade. Mike's enlistment is a source of pain already to her youngest, and she wonders whether there is more to it than the fear of losing him or missing him in his absence. She makes a mental note to speak with Bella about it later, and finally diverts her attention to Mike, who is standing in front of them and appears to be relieved that Carlisle hasn't ripped his head off.

"What made you join, if I may ask?" Esme queries.

Mike looks at her, meeting her eyes with his. "My sense of duty, ma'am. Uncle Sam needs fighters; they'll have one in me."

Esme nods meekly and as her husband and Mike strike up a conversation, she glances to Bella. It appears that her daughter's mind is elsewhere. She sighs to herself and hopes all will be well.

Mike leaves that night proud and content as Bella watches him from the window of her second floor bedroom.

The uneasiness in the pit of her stomach has not lessened over the last few hours; in fact, it has only grown worse.

*~*~*

…July 1966…

Three weeks pass quickly, and before she knows it, Bella is standing with Mike as he awaits his plane. It will take him to Basic Training, and then he will be gone. For a while, talk circulated about him having the ability to visit Hartford again before he leaves for Vietnam, but in the end, they learned that a visit was not a possibility; he will finish basic training on October 19th, and he is scheduled to fly to another base on October 21st and then halfway around the world on November 1st. Two days is not enough time to come home, so for Mike and Bella, this is truly goodbye.

She holds tight to an address that Mike has written on card stock; it is the address that will forward mail to him. He asks her to write. She says she will try. He smiles and looks down at her sad eyes. "Bella, sweetie. Don't cry. I'm going to be fine. I'll be back before you know it and then you and I can begin our life together."

She nods blindly, staring at the buttons on his shirt as he continues to speak. "I love you, Bella. Don't forget it," he says.

Finally, she looks up at him and stretches upward. Bella presses her lips to his and wonders whether she will really cry later. For now, all that she can muster are a few tears, and she feels as though her reaction to her boyfriend leaving to face death on a daily basis is insufficient. Instead of focusing on what she views as her emotional deficiency, she allows herself to get lost in the kiss they are sharing. This is their goodbye, and she intends to make it worth Mike's while.

Their tongues tangle languidly, as though he does not have a plane to catch. He pulls her body flush with his own, wrapping his arms tightly around her. She finds that she is unable to breathe, but continues to kiss him.

When they finally part, she whispers, "Be careful, please. I will miss you."

Mike releases his grip on her and says, in a voice that is fervent and full of determination, "I will think of you every day, Bella. I love you."

He stares evenly at her for a moment before turning over his left shoulder and heading to Gate 32A.

Her 'I love you' echoes in her mind. The words will not form on her lips.

*~*~*

While Mike is being pruned for the life the Military can offer him, Bella is in Hartford, spending time with her friends and family, and missing Mike. There are times at night when her loneliness overtakes her and she weeps into her pillow, glad to be the only child in the house. If Jasper were home, he would have heard, and would surely come to check on her.

Bella stares at the ceiling on some nights, wondering what Mike is doing and willing this feeling of quiet despair to disappear.

Her first letter from Mike comes a month after his departure. It says that he enjoys Basic Training, that he's tired and worn out every day, but that the commanding officers say they see promise in him, which bodes well for the future, should he choose to make the Military a career. Along with that, he gushes about how much he misses Bella – how he longs to hold her again, and how he knows she will start school in a matter of weeks, and how much he wishes he could be there to drive her.

Bella cannot find the words to respond well, so she sends him a care package: home made sugar cookies and a spice tea, as well as a journal to keep a bit of writing in, if he so chooses. In the box, she includes a note that simply reads, "Enjoy this. I miss you. Bella."

The conflict she feels is indescribable. She misses him, but she doesn't. She cares for him, but her feelings for Mike seem to have drastically changed.

Even with the written word she is unable to say she loves him, and she cannot understand why.

*~*~*

Newton High School starts on August 23rd, a Tuesday, and Bella is not excited in the least. She is a senior and well aware that she should be happy about that, but she can't seem to find it inside of her to properly care. She dresses simply for the first day – jeans and a soft white peasant top with brown sandals - and pulls her hair back into a low ponytail.

Even as she approaches the main entrance she is apprehensive. These emotions do not make sense. She has attended NHS for three years, knows most of the students and has no reason to feel nervous. Bella refuses to believe that she is anxious because Mike is not at her side. She is a stronger woman than that. In fact, if she is honest with herself, Bella has felt off ever since Mike announced his enlistment.

She cannot pinpoint whether it is because she misses him some or if the unease she feels is because she needs to cut ties with him. It is almost as though his absence has been too easy for her to handle; She only yearns for him when she gets lonely; when force of habit reminds her that he is not there. When she goes to her locker, a pang in her stomach reminds her that Mike would have met her there and walked her to class. When she goes home this afternoon, another pang will over take her when she realizes that it is her friend Angela driving her home, not Mike. She is not lonely like she thought she would be.

Her inner turmoil continues…

She misses him.

But not enough.

Perhaps this unease she feels is guilt.

Over this strange cocktail of emotions, Bella feels a pull to go elsewhere; it is like Mike's leaving has given her the ammunition to think outside of the cookie cutter world she has lived in for the last eight years.

At home, Esme makes an effort to talk to her about the things going on in her life – she asks when Mike's last letter came and whether Bella has had a chance to write back yet. She can tell her daughter is off kilter; she is too quiet, too demure. The Bella that she, Carlisle and Jasper know is opinionated, fiercely loyal and intelligent. This new Bella has recessed into herself and is not vocal unless it is absolutely necessary.

Esme worries about her daughter, but knows that when the time is right, Bella will let her in.

Even Jasper, through telephonic conversations from his dorm at Princeton, can tell his sister is different; changed, somehow.

At school, Bella sits down in her first period class and puts on an act. She smiles, pretends she is peachy keen and gives pseudo-updates on Mike and his well-being. She tries out for cheerleader, sits at the head of her usual table at lunch and signs up to write for the school's newspaper. She appears to be the same Bella as she was the last school year – her performance is masterful.

All the while she is wondering if there is something more than life in Hartford.

AN: Bella's quite conflicted. Hopefully, you see the quiet references to why. Next up, we'll see a boy who is searching for something in Liverpool. Reviews are love.