A/N: Yay, chapter two! Thanks fishylishy for reviewing!

Disclaimer: I don't own Zelda or any lyrics mentioned in this chapter.

Meeting Girls

Link wakes up to find himself trapped in a jail cell and chained to the ground. He tries to bite the chain off but looks up quickly when he hears someone laugh. He looks up to find a little imp with a big thing on her head floating at the other end of the cell.

Little Imp With A Big Thing On Her Head: Eee-hee! I found you!

Link: (barking but somehow the imp can understand him) How did you find me?! Have you been stalking me?!

LIWABTOHH: (looks around shiftily) Um, no . . .

Link: Okay . . . so who are- OH GODDESSES YOU'RE NAKED!

LIWABTOHH: You just noticed that now?

Link: Put some clothes on woman!

LIWABTOHH: I don't have any clothes in my size! Besides, how am I supposed to put a shirt on with this big-ass thing on my head?

Link: You have a point there.

LIWABTOHH: Yes. So anyways . . . (turns into bubbles and floats through the cracks in the cell door and then reforms) I'll make you a deal. If you can find a way out of the cell, I'll help you get back to normal.

Link: Okie-dokie!

Link spends the next hour butting his head against a wall while receiving a few hints from the imp. She laughs at him for a while but then gets bored so she decides to give him a big hint.

LIWABTOHH: FOR GODDESSES SAKES! JUST RUN INTO THE EFFIN' CRATES!

Link runs into the crates and digs his way through a random hole in the ground which really shouldn't be there since a prisoner even a little smarter them Link could have gotten out in about two seconds.

LIWABTOHH: (lands on Link's back) Now you have to be my slave! Muhahaha!

Link: AHH! IT'S ON MY BACK! GET IT OFF! (starts spinning around in circles)

LIWABTOHH: Wah! Stop spinning! You're going to make me throw up!

Link: (stops) –gasp- Then you'll ruin my shiny new coat!

LIWABTOHH: Exactly! So just do what I tell you! Go find a way out of here!

Link walks into the other jail cell and finds a loop on a chain.

LIWABTOHH: Just press the 'up' button if you need to talk to me.

Link: Why did you just tell me that?

LIWABTOHH: I'm not really sure . . .

She and Link both turn to look at the camera and then turn back.

Link: Do you ever feel like you're being watched?

LIWABTOHH: Um . . . no, you're just going crazy! Now hurry up!

Link and the imp go through a tunnel that opened and come to a ball of light.

LIWABTOHH: Ooh, use your sense view to look at the ball of light!

Link: Ugh, fine . . . (turns on his sense view and sees a spirit) AH! GHOST! IT'S A GHOST! RUN AWAY!

Link runs as fast as he can with the imp screaming and holding onto his fur for dear life. Link runs with such force that he crashes through the gates and comes to a stop at the gate at the end of the tunnel, sending the little imp flying. She just manages to turn into bubbles before she goes flying through the gate.

LIWABTOHH: YOU STUPID WOLF! YOU COULD HAVE GOTTEN ME KILLED! I'M TOO IMPORTANT TO BE KILLED!

Link: Ow, my wittle paws . . . (looks at his paws which are bleeding from running over random spikes stuck into the ground)

LIWABTOHH: Ugh, you're not even listening to me! You know what? Just for that, go find your own way out!

Link: B-but . . .

LIWABTOHH: GO!

Link turns and runs. He finds another random lever and bites it, making the water level go down. He runs back to the imp and finds a tunnel and crawls through it. He comes out and the imp lands on his back, hard.

Link: Ow! What the hell?!

LIWABTOHH: Go up the stairs.

Link: Don't I get a cookie for figuring that out all by myself?

LIWABTOHH: No.

Link: Then why the hell am I helping you?!

LIWABTOHH: (grabs Link's ear and screams into it) GRAR!

Link: AH! I'm going!

Link runs up the stairs a little ways before it collapses, making him and the imp fall into the water. The imp gets pissed off and decides to help Link jump across. The two of them continue up the stairwell before coming out onto a roof.

LIWABTOHH: Yay, we're almost there! Now hurry up!

Link: Where exactly are we going, may I ask?

LIWABTOHH: We're going to that really pointy tower. Oh look, another spirit! And don't you dare take off running again!

Link: (turns on his sense view) I see dead people . . .

LIWABTOHH: Yes, I do too. Now get going!

Link: You don't seem too disturbed by this.

LIWABTOHH: You get used to it.

Link: Um, okay . . .

Link and the imp travel across the roof, killing a few twilight kargoks and nearly falling to their deaths several times. They make it to the really pointy tower and go in through the window. They run up another staircase and enter a bedroom. They walk over to a cloak figure standing by the window. The imp giggles as Link growls at the figure. The figure turns, startled, when she hears the growling.

Cloaked Figure: Midna?!

Midna: 'Sup.

Link: Oh, so that's your name . . . I was just going to call you shorty.

Midna: (glares at Link and says through clenched teeth) What did you just call me?

CF: Midna, calm down . . .

Midna: Whatever. So, aren't you going to tell the dog what you've managed to do . . . Twilight Princess? Eee-hee!

The supposed "Twilight Princess" tells Link about how she was just minding her own business doing her nails when a big guy wearing a frog-like mask stormed into her castle. He gave her a choice to either surrender to him or he would just walk away and pretend that nothing ever happened. So, naturally, she surrendered and doomed her world to perpetual twilight.

CF: (takes off hood) I am Zelda.

Midna: Wow, really? I would have never guessed . . .

Link: ZOMG MIDNA LOOK! IT'S ZELDA!

Midna: (rolls her eyes at Link)

Zelda: So, even though I could just sneak out of the castle quite easily myself, I want you to save Hyrule!

Link: What?! Are you effing serious?!

Zelda: Yes, I am. And let's watch the language please. There are children present.

Midna: Hey! Just because I'm small doesn't mean I'm a child!

Zelda: Yeah, yeah. Now hurry up and leave! There's a guard coming!

Link: How do you know?

Zelda: Uh . . . I'm psychic! Ooooh! (waves hands around like she's predicting something)

Midna: More like psycho . . .

Link: Oooh, predict something!

Zelda: Um, I predict that you will get your ass kicked by an imp with orange hair if you don't get moving soon.

Link: (turns to look at Midna) Hey, you have orange hair!

Midna: Yes, I do. Now get moving before I kick your ass!

Link: Yes ma'am. Bye Zelda!

Zelda waves and Link and Midna leave. They go back out onto the roof and Midna bounces over to the very edge.

Link: (thinking) Hmm, it wouldn't be very hard to push her off . . . if I could just get close enough . . .

Midna: Don't even think about it dog boy! Besides, I would just float right back up.

Link: Dammit.

Midna: So, what do you want to do next? (turns into Collin and then Ilia)

Link: Ah! You turned into the &*#%*!

Midna: Excuse me?!

Link: Ilia. She's a &*#%*.

Midna: Um, okay . . . so I suppose you'll want to help them, huh?

Link: -sigh- Sure, I guess . . .

Midna: Good. Then I can use you as my slave to help me achieve my dream of killing the mentally ill person who took my kingdom away! Muhahaha!

Link: What was that?!

Midna: Um, nothing . . . well, let's go!

Link: Yay! I'm going home, to the place where I belong. Where you're love is always strong enough for me!

Midna: Uh, okay . . . that was awkward . . . Oh by the way, I'll have to go with you and you'll have to be my slave.

Link: But-

Midna: You will be my slave? Great! Here we go then!

Midna warps Link back to Ordon Village. But little does Link know that the people in his village don't take to kindly to random wolves showing up in the middle of the night . . .