Alex shot up from behind the Quattro and began her run with the boys behind the huge house. Gene stormed ahead to get the people out of the area with Chris closely on his tail.

"Bolly, Raymondo, cuff the bastards!" he shouted, turning back briefly before kicking the door of the house down and running inside with Chris. Half of Armed Response followed and half made their way over the fence, into the garden and into the marquee.

"On it, Guv!" Ray shouted back, approaching the fence with Alex right behind him.

"Oh you are kidding me," Alex groaned.

"Come on, Ma'am!" Ray urged her, beginning to climb over.

"And how exactly do you propose I do that?" Alex barked, unsuccessfully trying to hitch herself up. She hated the weak woman role, but at the moment things weren't looking good.

"Oh bloody 'ell," Ray sighed, climbing back down, "women in the police force just isn't right. Ma'am, gimme yer foot. I'll give yer a leg up, but be bloody quick about it."

"You most certainly are not! Find me something to stand on."

"We ain't got till bloody next Christmas, there's a bomb about ter go off!"

"But you'll stare at my arse!"

"No I won't."

"You'll grope it."

"Only for five seconds then yer over, so bloody 'urry up!"

But as Alex's professional instincts kicked in and she went to approach Ray, it happened. There was a huge roar and an explosive light, blowing the fence into splinters and sending Ray flying backwards, Alex soaring and landing on top of him. Screams of panic echoed through their cloudy minds and then everything went black.

--------------------------------

Ray tried to open his eyes. His eyelids felt heavy as he tried to focus. All he could see was white. Am I bloody dead? He thought incredulously. As Ray's vision became less blurred, he realised that no, he was not dead, but merely in what appeared to be a hospital ward. He was strapped up with weird tubes and monitors and the room was empty. Sitting up, Ray realised that his hair was bobbing around his shoulders and in front of his forehead.

What the…little nancy poofters messin' wi' my hair! Ray thought angrily. But when he reached up to touch it, he got the shock of his life. Dancing between his fingers was loose, glossy brown curls. Ray smacked his hand back down and onto the bed forcefully, breathing heavily. What in the name of Jesus was going on? It was then that Ray realised has fingernails were painted a deep red colour.

This is not happening. This is bloody not happening. Hallucinating. Dreamin'. That's it. With a gulp, Ray realised that something else was wrong. Something major. Patting his smooth, slender shoulders, he traced his hands lower until he reached his worryingly ample chest. With a rough squeeze, he screamed out loud.

He had breasts.

He had bloody breasts.

"AAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!" Ray hollered, dashing out of bed and colliding into one of the doctors of the hospital.

"Ah, Miss Drake, we're glad to see you awake, but I must ask you to –"

"MISS DRAKE?" Ray thundered. "WHAT IN THE BLEEDIN' 'ELL?" It was then when Ray caught sight of himself in the hall mirror. But what he saw wasn't a big, tough, Northern copper in his forties with tiny permed curls. Reflected was his one and only DI, the sexy curves, dark curls and endless legs of Alex Drake.

"AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!" Ray screamed, before promptly fainting at the doctor's feet.

------------------------

In only the next room, Alex awoke to the sounds of a woman shrieking the entire hospital down. Finally focusing, she too realised that she was in a hospital and therefore must have survived the explosion.

Oh God, Gene's going to kill me… Alex thought, groaning. And this time, not only had she put herself in danger but also a fellow officer. It had only been 1982 for about three months and Alex had been in about three near-death experiences already.

It was only a matter of seconds before Alex realised that something wasn't right. She was bulkier, more muscular…what on Earth? Alex's hands caressed her face, ending up scratched with stubble. Her eyes widened in disbelief as she batted her flat chest and felt soft tufts hair on her head. Tell me I'm not assimilating the fantasies of 'Freaky Friday', Alex thought, referring to that Lindsay Lohan film Molly loved. Fearing the worst, Alex gradually moved her hand down to her crotch and sure enough, there was an unfamiliar bulge.

"Can this dystopia get any worse?" she whispered in panic. It was then that she caught her faded reflection in the window. But she didn't see herself.

She saw DS Ray Carling.

"Shit," Alex gasped, "shit, shit, SHIT. No! Help me, somebody please! I'm not myself! The explosion…anyone please, the explosion has caused some sort of body-swap on myself and –"

"Bloody hell, Raymondo, you're starting to sound as bonkers as Bolly!" Gene butted in, entering the room with the faint hints of a smile. "You all right then? Bolls is screaming 'er 'ead off, chattin' some shit as usual. Nurses won't let me in there, but by the looks o' things that bomb's done your 'ead in too."

"Gene, oh Gene!" Alex scrambled to her feet and clung to Gene, who looked positively petrified. "Something strange has happened, something absolutely and completely impossible…but then again I've gone back in time so anything can be possible in this world…"

"Oh Jesus Christ, someone get the men in white coats," Gene sneered, "number one, Raymondo, stop spoutin' nancy talk or I will personally see to it that you're locked up with the very best bunch o' loonies this city can find! And two –"

"Yes Gene?"

"Get the f*ck off me!"

------------------------

Gene was asked to leave the room as the doctors did some tests on Alex, or to their knowledge, 'DS Ray Carling'. Alex chose not to talk much. Not until she had figured out what was going on. Luckily, the doctors seemed to be putting her lack of speech down to shock.

If I'm Ray, Alex thought as the doctors continued to run checks, then…oh my good God, PLEASE no. Ray…Ray must be me…oh bloody hell…

"Um, excuse me?" Alex coughed, trying to get the hang of Ray's tough Manchester accent but only resulting in making him sound a bit gay. "May I see DS Ra – DI Alex Drake? She's my work colleague and we were in the bomb attack together…"

"In about thirty minutes," one of the doctors answered. "My name's Doctor Marsh, Sir. I'm afraid Miss Drake is very distressed, but it must have been a frightful experience."

"Distressed?" Alex panicked. "What do you mean?"

"Your DI screamed rather a lot, DS Carling. Seemed a bit confused."

"Put on a right little show for us though," one of the pervy-looking trainee doctors chuckled lecherously, elbowing a fellow trainee.

"A show?" Alex squeaked. What is Carling doing to me?

"Grabbing her tits like – 'these aren't mine, what the bloody hell's going on?'. Mind you, I thought they woz pretty natural, didn't look like the bird had had a boob job –"

"Now that is inappropriate," Doctor Marsh snapped.

"Sorry Sir," mumbled the pervy trainee.

Alex sunk back in her bed and groaned. She was going to kill Ray for this.