A/N: Yay, chapter three is up! And yes, Anmlvr, it's me. Thanks for reviewing! And thanks again fishylishy!

Cuccos, Fred, and Gangster Link

Link and Midna appear in Ordon Spring.

Link: How did you do that?!

Midna: I have my ways. Well, bye for now! (goes into Link's shadow)

Link: Wait! Where the heck did she go? Oh well . . . at least she's gone!

Link starts walking along but glances down and notices that his shadow looks as if Midna is still sitting on his back.

Link: Oh goddesses! She's still here! NOOOOO!

Midna: (comes out of Link's shadow) Eee-hee! I fooled you! That was funny . . . so anyways, go get me a sword and shield!

Link: Can you even fight?

Midna: You wanna find out, dog boy?

Link and Midna run towards Link's house but are attacked by a bulblin as soon as they step inside the gate. Link fights off the monster and it explodes into a cloud of dust.

Link: Yeah, that's what I'm talkin' 'bout! Don't mess with P-Doggy!

Midna: Ugh, will you SHUT UP?! And stop acting all gangster!

Random Squirrel: Um, t-thanks for saving me . . .

Midna: Oh goddesses, now all the other animals are talking to me too? Great. I must be going insane.

Link: Yup. But more importantly . . . (licks lips and goes into a crouching position) Mmm . . . squirrel . . .

RS: Aw sugar.

Link chases the squirrel around until it runs up a tree, leaving Link sitting at the bottom of it for an hour before Midna finally convinces him to go get a sword and shield.

Link: I almost had him . . .

Midna: Whatever. Just hurry up!

Link: Can you ever talk without using exclamation points at the end of your sentences?!

Midna: Yes I can, but- wait, how did you know about my punctuation?!

Link: It's right here in the script, see? (shows Midna the script that appeared out of nowhere) Look, you're going to say "Link, you're not supposed to see that!" and I'm going to be like "But I want to know what happens next!" and then you're going to-

Midna: Link, you're not supposed to see that!

Link: But I want to know what happens next!

Midna: Just give me the script.

Link: OMG! Ganondork is in this story, too?!

Midna: NO! You're going to spoil the whole story! (takes script and throws it and then turns to the camera) Pay no attention to the stupid dog standing in the road!

Link: HEY!

Midna smacks Link on the head.

Link: OW! VIOLENCE! SOMEONE STOP THE VIOLENCE!

Midna smacks Link again and he shuts up and goes into Ordon Village. They walk over to the waterwheel and Link crouches down when he sees Jaggle and Mayor Bo talking.

Jaggle: So, you want to discuss where the only weapons in this village are out in the open where anyone can here us?

Mayor Bo: Yeah, especially now that all of the children have been captured and we don't know where they are and the enemies could be right behind us and we wouldn't even know because we're so stupid!

Jaggle: Well, the shield is in my house and the sword is in Rusl's house.

Mayor Bo: Sweet. Oh yeah, and- AH! IT'S A WOLF! RUN!

Jaggle and the mayor run off to some random place and Link looks up at Jaggle's house and sees an open window.

Midna: Ugh, this village is full of idiots . . .

Link: Hey, I live in this village!

Midna: My point exactly.

Link glares at Midna and then they go off to look for a way to get up to the window. As they walk by Hanch, he freaks out and hurls a hawk at them. They run away after getting scratched up a little bit and go to stand by Pergie's shop.

Midna: Hey, let's sneak up and scare that guy!

Link: But, what if he falls into the water?

Midna: And I should care why?

Link: Yeah, you have a point.

Midna helps Link jump up onto the top of the shop and they sneak up behind Hanch. He sees them and screams like a little girl and jumps into the water. They jump across to the open window and go inside Jaggle's house.

Link: Hmm, I wonder why Jaggle didn't just run into his house when he saw me. I mean, he was standing right in front of it . . .

Midna: Like I said, this village is full of idiots. Now hurry up and get that shield!

Link buts his head against the wall so hard that he knocks himself unconscious. Midna grabs the shield and debates whether to lave Link lying there. She decides to wake him up since she's too lazy to go float anywhere by herself. She lights Link's tail on fire and he wakes up and jumps out the window and into the water. Midna laughs at him and lands on his back as he shakes his fur dry, getting all wet in the process. She screams at him some more and they go over to Rusl's house. They sneak around the side and find a cucco.

Cucco: Hey, you look really soft! I like soft things! Like when the ground is so soft you can dig through it!

Link: Um, why did you just bold that last part of your sentence?

Midna: Link, give me the freakin' script! (takes the script which appears out of nowhere again and throws it into the trash can which also appears out of nowhere)

Link: Hey, recycle!

Midna: Whatever. And didn't I already throw the script?

Link: Well, dogs are really good at fetching . . .

Cucco: Now I have a new favorite thing! Can I pet you?

Link: Um . . . no, this is getting a little weird . . .

Cucco: Come on, can't I just pet your soft, luxurious fur? Please?

Link: Uh, I don't think-

Cucco: LET ME PET YOU! I MUST PET YOU! (runs after Link until the wolf is backed up against the wall and starts petting him with his wing)

Midna: What the-?!

Link: Go away! I feel really uncomfortable!

Cucco: Soft fur . . . so soft . . .

Link: (starts whimpering) Midna, I'm scared!

Midna: Ugh, fine. I guess I have to do everything around here . . .

Midna shoots an energy blast at the cucco, frying him alive, and goes into Link's shadow. Link quickly digs under Rusl's house before Rusl and Uli come around the side and thank the Gods of Hyrule for the free cucco. Link emerges inside of Rusl's house and picks up the sword. He passes by unnoticed by Uli and Rusl who are having dinner out by the side of their house. The wolf runs back to the spring and stops when a strange voice calls to him . . .

Strange Voice: Hey fuzz-butt! Get over here!

Link: (walks into the spring) You talkin' to me?

SV: Yeah, I guess I am. Oh wait, you need to run away now!

Link: But you just called me over here!

SV: I know, but you need to go!

Link: Why?!

A random portal opens up in the sky and the black monster that pulled Link into the Twilight falls and lands on his head.

Black Monster That Pulled Link Into The Twilight: Ow! Dammit, it's always my freakin' head!

Link: OMG! It's the black monster that pulled me into the Twilight and made me loose my sexy, hunkalicious body!

BMTPLITT: My name is Fred, for your information.

Link: Oh. Well, it's nice to meet you Fred!

Fred: Nice to meet you, too! It's too bad I have to destroy you now . . . You seem like such a nice wolf.

Link: Wait, what?!

Fred: Yes, I was sent to destroy you, so now you must parish!

Link: Hold on, what happens if you don't destroy me?

Fred: Then I won't get my free decaf mocha frappachino!

Link: Uh, what?

Fred: You see, there's a special deal going on in the Starbucks near my house where they give you a free frappachino if you kill an animal from the Light Realm. It's only going on today and you need proof that you actually killed something and you didn't just make it up, so I'll have to bring your dead body back with me as well.

Link: Uh . . .

Fred: Yes, so now-

Random Voice Coming From The Portal: Please insert twenty-five cents to continue this visit to the Light Realm.

Fred: Aw crap. Hold on . . . (rummages around in his pockets) Dammit! Hey dog, you got a quarter?

Link: Uh . . . no?

Fred: Frig! (gets sucked back up into the portal because the money he put into the Warp Portal Machine ran out)

Link: What the hell was that about?!

Midna: (says in a Gir voice) I don't know!

Link: Wah! Where the heck did you come from?!

Midna: I'm gonna sing the Doom Song now! Doom doom do doom doom . . .

Link: Um, are you okay?

Midna: Yes sir, the waffles are fully charged! (salutes Link and goes back into his shadow)

Link: What the freak?!

SV: Yay, now I can talk to you!

Link: You're still here?

SV: (appears looking like a goat with a ball of light between its antlers) I am the Spirit of Light, Ordona!

Link: Hooray for you.

Ordona: Go into Faron Woods and save the Light Spirit that resides there!

Link: And what if I don't want to?

Ordona: Then you'll be stuck as a wolf, and you'll be stuck with Midna for the rest of your life.

Link: Damn.

Ordona: I would get going soon because I think all this light is getting to her . . .

Link: But it's nighttime . . .

Ordona: DON'T CONTRADICT ME! JUST GET GOING!

Link: Okay, okay! Jeez, you sound like Midna . . .

Link runs over the bridge until he gets to the big black gate.

Midna: (pops out of Link's shadow) Do you have bread?

Link: Um, no . . .

Midna: Oh well, that's a shame . . . so, want me to let you into the Twilight?

Link: -sigh- Yeah, I guess . . .

Midna: (laughs evilly) Excellent . . .

Midna floats through the gate as Link gives her a worried glance. Nothing happens for a moment until a big orange hand comes out of the gate.

Link: HOLY SH-

Link is grabbed by the hand and pulled back into the twilight . . .