A/N: Okay, here's the next chapter!

Midna: Hey, where's Link?

Link: (in the closet tied to the chair with a gag over his mouth)

The Author: Uh, I put him somewhere that he won't go after anymore self-destruct buttons.

Midna: Oh. We're all okay, by the way. Link just had some minor injuries . . .

The Author: Yeah, so anyways onto the disclaimer . . . ugh . . .

Diclamer: You all know why I'm here. Midna3452 donsn't own Zelda or anything to do with it whatsoever.

The Author: Thank you, diclaimer. Now on with the story!

The Problem With Dead Guys

Link walks along until he comes to the locked gate. He realizes that the only way to get through is to see if Coro has a key, so he walks over to Coro's hut.

Link: Uh, hey Coro . . .

Coro: You! Do you see what you did to me?! My beautiful afro is gone! It took me five years to grow that thing! FIVE YEARS!

Link: Yeah, sorry about that. I was just wondering, do you happen to have a key to that gate over there?

Coro: So what if I do? What'll you give me for it?

Link: Um, hold on, let me see here . . . (rummages around in his pockets and takes out a few items) Uh, I got a button, a piece of string, some pocket lint, a piece of hawk grass, another button, and a rupee. Will that cover it?

Coro: Not even close.

Link: Then what do you want?!

Coro: How about that nice hat you got there?

Link: What?! No, I love this hat! (grabs the end of his hat and starts stroking it) It's the only thing that goes with my outfit! Besides, hats like this are only meant to be worn be sexy people like me!

Midna: (says from Link's shadow) Pff, yeah right.

Link: Shut up, Impy! (steps on his shadow)

Midna: OW! YOU KNOW WHAT LINK, EFF YOU! JUST GO EFF YOURSELF!

Link: No thank you, I think I'll pass! But you may do so if you wish!

Midna: . . .

Coro: . . .

You: . . .

Coro: Yeah, you know what? You can just have the key . . . I don't think I feel comfortable around you anymore . . .

Link: Well fine then! I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE THIS FROM YOU! (grabs the key and stomps off towards the gate)

Link opens the gate and goes through the tunnel. He come out at the pit full of purple mist and decides to take out his lantern for no apparent reason. Just then, a monkey runs up and snatches it.

Link: Yo! Gimme ma money back, foo!

Midna: Link, she stole your lantern, not your money . . .

Link: Oh, right. Well, I might as well follow her.

Link follows the monkey's path until she leads them straight into a mob of keese.

Link: Aw, what the hell man?! Can't you lead us through the not monster-infested path?

Link kills the keese and a few other monsters until they finally make it out of the mist. The monkey drops the lantern and runs away.

Link: (picks up the lantern) Aw man! That damn monkey used up all my lantern oil! I guess I'll have to buy some from that creepy bird . . . (shudders)

Link runs along through another gate and comes out at the spot where the Twilight Messenger tour bus appeared before.

Link: Hey, I never noticed before, but this space is big! It's a good place to run around in! (starts running around in circles and laughing like Peter from Family Guy) Ehehehehehehehe-ow! (trips on a rock and lands on his knee. He sits up, holds his knee and starts rocking back and forth like Peter) hss . . . ah . . . hss . . . ah . . . hss . . . ah . . .

Midna: (pops out of Link's shadow) Oh my freakin' god, SHUT UP!

Link: Midna, it hurts . . .

Midna: Link, I'm sure it's not that- HOLY GODDESSES! (sees Link's knee gushing out blood when he takes hands away)

Link: Wah! I want my mommy!

Midna: Uh, why don't you just go to the hospital instead of crying for your mommy?

Link: Wait- my mommy's dead! OH GODDESSES SHE'S DEAD! WAH!

Midna: Link, calm down!

Link: Midna, will you hold me?

Midna: Excuse me?! Okay, first of all, I'm a shadow and you'd go right through me if you tried to touch me, so I couldn't hold you even if I wanted to. Which I don't, by the way. And secondly, you're bigger than me! I'd be crushed!

Link: (eats a piece of bee larva and his wounds instantly heal up and stop bleeding) Never mind. I'm all better now.

Midna: Okay . . . just hurry up and get to the temple!

Link walks very slowly over towards Trill so as not to fall down again, causing Midna to come out of his shadow to yell at him some more until he speeds up.

Trill: Hey! Buy something mister!

Link: Creepy bird . . . I mean, I'll just take some lantern oil please.

Trill: That'll be twenty rupees.

Link: Here, just take it! (throws the money at Trill) And stop talking to me! (runs away)

Trill: (mutters) Freak . . .

Link runs over to the entrance to the winding path but skids to a stop when he sees a white wolf. He takes out his sword and the wolf jumps up and bites Link's head.

Midna: Oh my goddesses!

Link passes out and wakes up in a strange, cloud-like area.

Link: (stands up) Whoa, where the heck am I? (whirls around to find a skeleton standing right in front of him) OH GODDESSES, A DEAD GUY! AHHHHH! Wait- that must mean that I'm dead! Nooooo!

Dead Guy: Dude, calm down. You're not dead.

Link: I . . . I'm not? Oh thank the goddesses. But, if I'm not dead, than who are you?

DG: You may call me the Hero's Shade if you wish.

Link: Can I just call you Creepy?

Hero's Shade: Um, I don't think-

Link: (frowns) YOU SHALL BE CALLED CREEPY! (runs at the Hero's Shade brandishing his sword and knocks the skeleton over)

HS: Dude, what is your freakin' problem?!

Link: (touches the Hero's shoulders one by one and has a serious look on his face) I now christen thee Creepy! You shall be known as Creepy McCreepy Pants from now on!

***

What this looks like from Midna's point of view:

The wolf jumps up and bites Link's head.

Midna: Oh my goddesses!

Link's eyes roll back and he drops his sword and passes out. The wolf suddenly disappears.

Midna: What the hell?! (floats over to Link and tries to nudge him awake, but her arm goes right through him) Dammit!

Just then Link stands up and picks up his sword. His eyes are still closed and Midna realizes that he is still asleep.

Midna: Uh, Link?

Link: Whoa, where the heck am I? (suddenly whirls around like there's someone behind him) OH GODDESSES, A DEAD GUY! AHHHH! Wait- that must mean that I'm dead! Nooooo!

Midna: Um, Link? What are you talking about?

There is a moment of silence.

Link: I . . . I'm not? Oh thank the goddesses. But, if I'm not dead, than who are you?

Midna: (floats around to the front of Link) I'm Midna. You knew that! Wait- your eyes are still closed! Who the heck are you talking to?

Link: Can I just call you creepy?

Midna: No! Wait- why am I even talking to you?! You don't even realize I'm here, do you? Helloooo! (waves a hand in front of Link's face)

Link: (frowns) YOU SHALL BE CALLED CREEPY! (runs at Midna brandishing his sword and slices right through her)

Midna: AH! WHAT THE HELL LINK?! YOU ARE SO LUCKY I'M IN MY SHADOW FORM RIGHT NOW!

Link: (makes a move like he's knighting someone) I now christen thee Creepy! You shall be known as Creepy McCreepy Pants from now on!

Midna: Yeah, I'm just going to go back into your shadow now . . . call me when you're not insane anymore . . . wait- you're always insane. Then just . . . ugh, never mind! (goes into Link's shadow)

***

Back in the visionary world . . .

HS (aka Creepy): Um okay . . . do you want to learn a new sword move or not?

Link: (smiles and jumps up and down like a little kid who just got a pound of chocolate for Christmas) Ooh ooh! Yes, new sword move! New sword move!

Creepy: Alrighty then, I shall now teach you the ending blow.

Link: WOOHOO! I love the ending blow! Wait . . . wait . . . what's the ending blow?

Creepy: (sigh) Let me show you. (shows Link the ending blow) Now you try it.

Link: What, on you?

Creepy: Yes, who else would you try it on? Besides, you can't hurt me, so it's no big deal.

Link: You mean . . . I can hit you as many times as I want and you'll never get hurt?

Creepy: Uh, yeah, I guess . . .

Link: (smiles like a crazy person and runs at Creepy wildly slashing his sword) BWAHAHAHAHAHA! This is awesome!

Creepy: I swear, if you don't stop that I'll-

Link: Ahahahaha!

Creepy: OKAY, THAT'S IT!

Creepy pushes Link back and then brings his hand up and squeezes it shut. Link drops his sword as he is lifted up into the air and holds his throat like he's being choked.

Link: Ack . . . stop . . . please!

Creepy: Are you going to ever do that again?

Link: (gasping for breath; face is turning blue) No . . . no . . . never again . . .

Creepy: Alright, I'll trust you this time. (puts his hand down and Link falls over and lies on the ground, trying to get his breath back)

Link: (glances up at Creepy) How did . . . you . . . do that?

Creepy: Because Link, I am your father!

Link: WHAT?!

Creepy: I mean, uh . . . just go back to your realm! Learn the move on your own!

Link: Wait! Will I ever see you again?

Creepy: -sigh- Unfortunately, that is probably the case. Now goodbye!

Creepy waves his hand and the world fades away as Link passes out again. Link wakes up to see the forest around him. He stands up and holds his head.

Link: Whoa . . . hey Midna!

Midna: (pops out of Link's shadow) Are you awake now?

Link: Um, yeah . . . but guess what happened?! There was this skeleton dude and he tried to teach me this sword move and-

Midna: Yes, I know. You would have killed me, had I not been in my shadow form.

Link: Oh. Oops.

Midna: Whatever. Just go to the temple before something else happens . . .

Link: Hey, I shouldn't have called that guy Creepy . . . you're much creepier than him. . .

Midna: Excuse me?

Link: Hm . . . I guess I'll just call you Impy.

Midna: NO!

Link: Shorty?

Midna: God damn it Link! No!

Link: Ooh I know! I'll call you Princess!

Midna: (stares at Link, looking shocked) What?

Link: Well, you do act like one . . .

Midna: What the hell is that supposed to mean, dog boy?!

Link: Never mind, I was just kidding! Like you could ever be a princess . . .

Midna: (glares at Link and says through gritted teeth) Just go to the temple before I kick your ass.

Link: Why are you so angry all of a sudden?!

Midna: (hair turns into a hand) JUST GO!

Link: Holy crap! (runs as fast as he can to the temple)

Midna tries to hit Link on the head but she goes right through him. She curses and goes back into his shadow, leaving Link really freaked out that she'll randomly try to kill him and wondering what the hell he did wrong. He takes out his lantern and burns down the spider web at the entrance to the Temple. He takes out his sword and steps inside . . .

A/N: I hope you all liked that chapter. Please review! Next will be . . . the Forest Temple! Dun dun dun . . .