A/N: This chapter, in honor of New Moon, is – would you have taken Edward back?

You Are My Life Now

Chapter 3: Love's Labors Lost…And Found

Alison's:

As every Twilighter knows, the Twilight Saga is really Bella's story. And Bella's whole life revolves around Edward. But in New Moon, her whole life is filled with sadness and an astonishing pain because Edward has left her. We find out later in the book that he only left Bella because of her. He was truly miserable the whole time they were separated. In chapter 23 The Truth, Edward asks Bella if she can forgive him and take him back despite everything that's happened. Bella replies, "Of course I love you—and there's nothing you can do about it!" In other words, she takes him back. However, the question Jenn and I are discussing is, "Would you?"

I am 100% Team Edward, so at first this question seemed very easy for me to answer. But as I really thought about it, I realized it actually is hard question to answer. I think there are two major ways you can view this.

One: The only point of Bella's existence is Edward. She can't be happy without him. They weren't together for months, and she suffered such a deep depression. It only makes sense for her to take Edward back. Or else, she won't have any point to live and she might as well go jump off a cliff again.

Two: Edward has caused Bella so much pain, she can't bear to let him back into her life She's lost trust in him, and even thought she still desperately loves him; she also hates him for leaving her. Bella might be being silly for refusing to let Edward back into her life, but she can't bear to go through so much pain again.

So where do I stand in these options? In the beginning I was in the middle. I thought both reasons brought up some key points that Bella would have considered. But you can't choose halfway on this, it's either yes or no. So, I chose yes. If I were Bella ( which I wish I was sooo bad!) having Edward back would mean total and complete bliss. My own personal heaven!!! However, I might just prolong my answer to Edward, because he does deserve some agony for leaving me, despite his reasons. Bella made the perfect choice in taking Edward back. I could not imagine any type of future for Bella without Edward involved.

Jenn's:

We all know the devastation Bella goes through in New Moon when Edward leaves her. For her own good of course. In his mind. Little did he know, he merely put Bella into the paths of other kinds of danger…from Victoria's master plan, Laurent's chance encounter, "immature" werewolves, and Bella's own new adrenaline obsession (all to hear Edward's velvet voice). And of course, somehow Edward forgot that Bella is just a trouble magnet regardless. So once the lovers are reunited, it begs the question, considering all Bella went through, if you were in her shoes, would you have taken Edward back?

I've always considered New Moon to be my least favorite of the Saga novels since it had the least amount of Edward and involved his (let's just call a spade a spade, shall we?) not very-well-thought-out abrupt departure.

However, while working on a different story, I've really been delving into New Moon more deeply than before and have gained an appreciation for the complex layers that Stephenie Meyer weaved into this novel and how it really sets up everything that happens in Breaking Dawn. It is the beginning of Bella's development of her own inner strength that ultimately becomes her gift when she becomes a vampire.

When I initially began pondering this question, I was thinking of my first impression when I read New Moon the first time which was that Bella took Edward back way too easily with not much fuss. Which may be true if you only look at it on the surface and don't really look at it through the prism of all that has happened to her since Edward left.

If you've ever been through a devastating break-up only to reunite with that person later, it may not be so far-fetched to understand Bella's reaction in Volterra especially under the extreme life and death situation that they faced. I don't think it's unrealistic for her to take Edward back so readily considering the depth of her love for him, that she had no say in the break-up in the first place, and what they went through in Italy. But this is where I really start to dig Bella.

You see, the Bella Edward comes back to is not the same Bella he left in the woods. This Bella doesn't follow his lead blindly. This Bella has been empowered by her friendship with the free-spirited Jacob, by her adrenaline-fueled rushes that involved her finding her independence, by flying further east than she'd ever gone all to save the hero. This Bella's a survivor. This Bella takes charge of her own destiny. This Bella forces Edward to take her to his family for a vote on whether she gets to join them as a vampire.

I think a quote from New Moon that exemplifies this new Bella is when she tells him, "This isn't just about you anymore. You're not the center of the universe, you know." Privately, she admits to herself that he's still the center of her personal universe. But it's an important step in her new identity that she lets Edward know that in order for their relationship to work, they have to make important decisions together.

And yet it still show that Bella has held onto that selflessness that is at the core of who she is and one of the reasons Edward loves her so deeply. After their Italian adventures and drawing the attention of the Volturi, all of the Cullens are now involved. They deserve a say too. It's no longer Edward's prerogative to dictate to his family. Or Bella.

Another thing I love about the whole conversation in her bedroom after they get back from Italy and before heading to the Cullen home for the vote is that it does show you don't have to play into the usual human reaction of punishing the person who broke up with you when they want to get back together. There's a perverse pleasure in having someone who rejected you, begging to be forgiven.

But Bella shows no sign of this. This is probably partially due to her natural selfless instincts and partially because of being so grateful that they're both still alive. And of course Bella knows that Edward's nature is to punish himself much more harshly than anyone else could. It's easy for Bella to forgive him knowing he'll likely never forgive himself. With a love as deep and transformational as theirs, there is no reason to prolong the painful absence of being separated.

I realize now my initial impression when I first read New Moon was way too harsh on Bella. How could she resist being offered her heart and soul back? Especially when it's being offered by Edward Cullen! What girl could resist that? Not me!