Ray had never looked more panicked in his life.

"What?" he growled. Hadn't he told her not to eat or drink? What part of that didn't she understand?

"Ray, I need the loo so bad!" Alex whined again. "You have to let me go to the toilet, I'm serious!"

Ray could see she wasn't joking. Oh God, he was going to have to deal with this sooner or later. "Right, come with me. Now. Act casual."

Ray and Alex made to exit the office, when a brash voice stopped them.

"And just where do you two think you're slinkin' off to?" It was Gene, looking quite confused and also quite annoyed.

"Erm, I…er…" Ray stammered.

"Toilet, Guv," Alex gasped, "okay, got to go now…"

"And DI Drake just how are your services required in the act of Raymondo evacuating his bowels?" Gene said rudely.

"Um, I'm going to ur…talk to Cairo again," Ray babbled.

"No you're bloody not," Gene ordered, "unless you wanna be on your knees with your lips wrapped round his di –"

"GUV, I NEED A FRICKING PISS!" Alex burst out. And with that, she charged out of the room.

Crap! Ray panicked. "Erm, I'm gonna talk to Paul then! Yeah, Paul, back in a sec, Guv!" and with that, he charged out after Alex.

Gene glared angrily and then he too stomped out after them.

Ray ran down the corridor to catch up with Alex. "Quick, in 'ere before anyone sees!" he hissed, bundling her into the men's toilets. Thinking fast, Ray grabbed the key from the window sill and locked the door to the gent's, giving himself and Alex privacy.

Alex was sweating. "Now what?"

Ray couldn't believe what he was about to say. "Right," he ordered gruffly, "stand in front o' one of them." He positioned Alex where he wanted her and stood directly behind her.

"Look up," Ray ordered, "don't you dare look down or CID's gettin' an eyeful of your tits!"

"Okay, okay, just hurry up!" Alex whimpered. Ray moved his hands round to Alex's crotch (or rather his crotch…) and began to unbutton the belt and zipper.

"Trousers down," Ray muttered through gritted teeth, "and the boxers."

Alex's eyes widened in alarm. Getting naked from the waist down for Ray was never on her wish list for the 80's. Just remember, it's not your body…he's only seeing his own…oh God…

Reluctantly, Alex pulled down the trousers and boxer shorts and a light breeze ambushed her legs. Determinedly, she didn't look down.

"Right 'ere goes," Ray squirmed, wrapping his arms round the familiar bulk of his own body and grabbing his cock with Alex's hands. "Never thought my knob would be gettin' a hand job from Alex Drake!"

"Shut up!" Alex snapped, disgusted by the sparks of pleasure she was feeling through Ray's body. There was silence for a few seconds.

"Well what are yer waitin' for?" Ray hissed. "Piss already!"

"Right," Alex gagged, relieving herself.

"Shit, it's harder to aim doin' it like this," Ray mumbled, readjusting his grip. But just then, they were interrupted by a thunderous knock on the door.

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING IN THERE?" Gene bellowed.

"Shit, its Gene!" Alex panicked.

"I know that, yer daft tart! Hurry up!"

"I'm not done yet!"

"Drake! Carling! I saw you go in there together! What the hell's going on? I want to see!" Gene demanded angrily, his voice booming through the door.

"No Guv, you really don't want to see this," Ray sweated, looking down at what he was holding.

But before Alex and Ray had time to change their positions or stop what they were doing, Gene had broken the door down. With a splintering crash, the door thudded to the floor and Gene was exposed to the scene.

If anything he had already witnessed had been shocking, this topped the lot. Alex Drake giving Ray Carling a hand job in the gent's toilets of CID.

"Guv!" Ray stammered, whipping his hands away as Alex frantically pulled up the trousers. "It really isn't what it looks like!"

Gene was speechless and felt completely revolted. "You were right," he muttered darkly, "I really didn't want ter see that." And with that, he marched out of the toilets, leaving an embarrassed Ray and Alex in stunned silence.

-------------------------

Shaz noticed the Guv was a bit subdued that afternoon. He had thunderously shut himself away in his office, staring into space and looking absolutely disgusted about something. Bravely, she knocked on his door with a cup of tea for him.

"Ta, Shaz," Gene grunted.

"No problem, Guv," Shaz smiled weakly, "erm…Guv, I know it's not my place or nuffink, but are you feeling all right?"

"Absolutely dandy, never bloody better," Gene snapped sarcastically.

"Okay Guv," Shaz nodded, "and erm, you seen DI Drake? A couple of phone calls 'ave come through, demanding to talk to senior offices and stuff, about this Jackson's Army attack. Witnesses and stuff."

"Drake?" Gene scoffed. "Probably wrapping her lips round Raymondo's cock before she moves on to Cairo Rodrigos, the stupid tart."

Shaz's eyes widened in shock at what Gene had just said. "What? Ma'am and Ray? I don't…"

"Just get out, Shaz," Gene said briskly, "if Drake or Carling want me, I'm not 'ere."

Shaz closed the Guv's door, looking gob-smacked.

"What is it, Shaz?" Chris asked her.

"I fink you was right about Ray and Ma'am," she whispered, hardly believing it. "The Guv…the Guv just said…"

"Ray? Gettin' DI Drake before the Guv? No," Chris shook his head, "no way, I was only messin' with 'im earlier. No way would DI Drake let Ray sleep with 'er. She hates 'im, don't she?"

"That's what I thought," Shaz chuckled lightly, "just goes to show you don't know nuffink round here!"

Promptly, Ray and Alex crashed through the doors just then looking flustered.

"I need to talk to Gene!" Alex demanded. "I need to set things straight…"

"Hold on Ray, the Guv don't want to see you or Ma'am," Shaz stopped her.

"What? Why?" Alex gasped. Ray sat at Alex's desk looking physically sick. Shaz exchanged looks between them both, and then leant into Alex.

"How could you, Ray? You know the Guv likes Ma'am, even if he won't admit it," she pointed out.

"What?" Alex said incredulously. "No he doesn't…course he doesn't…he just…"

"Oh come on, Ray," Shaz sighed, "you've seen the way he looks at her. And now you've gone and ruined it for 'im."

Alex was stunned. Was it really possible? Did the great Manc Lion actually have personal feelings for her?